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Practice
Sept 27, 2024 2:10:09 GMT -5
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Post by sharon on Sept 27, 2024 2:10:09 GMT -5
4 years eleven months ago my Mother fell and crushed her knew replacement. It seemed not like a big deal, surgery was planned to fix it, she was 89. They were almost finished, she had an embolism which irreparably damaged her heart. He said a piece of fat or a piece of bone entered and damaged her heart. The doctor told us about 5:00 in the afternoon. He said we are giving her 5 chemicals, or she would die. He said she will die within 15 minutes after the chemicals are stopped. My Mother, not having a living will or directions, the decision to stop the chemicals was up to me and my sister. I understood that's what he was telling us. Mother eventually came out of anesthesia, and was conscious. She couldn't talk, as she had a breathing tube down her throat. It took my sister a couple of hours to understand, Mother was going to die, the doctor had to paint the picture more clearly, Mother could not possibly go on living. I finally told sister I wanted to tell Mother she was going to die, I would want to know. I told her about 9:00, she understood. That day was my sister's son's birthday, so my sister finally said, let's wait until midnight so Mother won't die on son's birthday. The whole staff was very patient, they said we can wait as long as you need. But after midnight sister couldn't say yes, stop the chemicals. She was torn. It took another 3 hours, with a very little slight pressure from my brother-in-law, for her to finally say, OK, stop the chemicals. But then the hospital had a procedure to follow, so it took another hour before they actually stopped the chemicals. Then she died within 5 minutes. She was asleep when she died. There was about 12 people there, more had been there, and left, probably at least 25 people, family had been called in, the staff gave up trying to stick to rules. BTW, I was also with my Father when he died two years earlier. Sometimes the doing is obvious, sometimes you may as well flip a coin. Sometimes life decides. ~~~~~~~~while I'm here, my boss of 33 years and longer as a friend, died two weeks ago. He was 71, a year younger than me. He went to sleep, nothing wrong, didn't wake up. They don't know why he died. He had one slight problem which was under control. He was still working, he had worked that day. At the funeral I saw some people I hadn't seen in almost eleven years, everybody was obviously older, except me. No, not true. But only a year ago did I start to feel ~old~, but only a little old. BTW, if you don't have a will and a living will and instructions, get it done so family won't have to decide in such circumstances. That hit my emotions a bit. On my Dad's last three days I had to make tough decisions about medicine too. I slept only a couple of hours each night on those days. The challenging aspect for me is rarely emotion/feeling, it's more the intensity of 'energy' that comes with certain situations. And it’s wise not to let that energy into your head because it’s easy to blow a fuse with it. Keeping it in the lower body makes balancing it more achievable. From the larger Me perspective, an aspect of itself is expiring and it’s reminding itself that there isn’t anyone that it isn’t. |
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Post by stardustpilgrim on Sept 27, 2024 7:41:02 GMT -5
Trust me, some time in your life you will be faced with a real existential dilemma, maybe even life and death, that's what we're here for, as inavalan understands. There will be no path forward, no way to proceed. But then, you have to decide, anyway. Sort of like....I've got a very adorable small dog resting on my legs right now, and I really don't want to move him...perhaps especially as I've only got a couple of days with him before we leave......but also.....I REALLY need to go pee. I have an actual feeling of being stuck lol Good example? I somehow missed this. Ah...no, I know who/what's going to win out.  ...I would bet money on it. Ever seen the film Sophie's Choice? ....Maybe a better example, have you ever been poor? With one little extra problem, some people are faced with paying the electric bill, eating, or paying rent. But it's not just the poor. In 2007 and early 2008 I should have seen we were headed for an economic problem. I was working for my building contractor in a neighborhood with houses in the $500,000 range to $750,000. We wired two houses across from each other, they didn't sale. The contractor had two other houses that didn't sale, highly unusual. Building almost came to a halt. Eventually September 2008 hit, the economic crash. That builder still had those 4 houses. He eventually unloaded them, making some kind of deal with the bank. We still had some service work in that neighborhood, so were in and out. But a lot of For Sale signs went up, at least 15-20. But the problem was, the whole domino effect stopped, different levels of housing prices. If you can't sell your house, you can't buy a bigger house, or even a smaller house. Because of the economy nobody was buying or selling. Housing values dropped. New first time home owners basically drive the whole process. The first level sells their home, a first time buyer buys their house, and they can buy a bigger house. That level sells their house and they move to a bigger level. But even many "rich" people got stuck. But I realized some even "rich" people live paycheck to paycheck, basically actually beyond their means. We had one contractor who had about six classic cars, cars he loved. When he needed money, he'd sell a car. He got down to his last purple Dodge Charger. When things eventually turned around, he started collecting again. |
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Practice
Sept 27, 2024 14:06:08 GMT -5
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Post by andrew on Sept 27, 2024 14:06:08 GMT -5
That hit my emotions a bit. On my Dad's last three days I had to make tough decisions about medicine too. I slept only a couple of hours each night on those days. The challenging aspect for me is rarely emotion/feeling, it's more the intensity of 'energy' that comes with certain situations. And it’s wise not to let that energy into your head because it’s easy to blow a fuse with it. Keeping it in the lower body makes balancing it more achievable. From the larger Me perspective, an aspect of itself is expiring and it’s reminding itself that there isn’t anyone that it isn’t. Sound advice, yeah. |
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Post by andrew on Sept 27, 2024 14:14:33 GMT -5
Sort of like....I've got a very adorable small dog resting on my legs right now, and I really don't want to move him...perhaps especially as I've only got a couple of days with him before we leave......but also.....I REALLY need to go pee. I have an actual feeling of being stuck lol Good example? I somehow missed this. Ah...no, I know who/what's going to win out. ...I would bet money on it. Ever seen the film Sophie's Choice? ....Maybe a better example, have you ever been poor? With one little extra problem, some people are faced with paying the electric bill, eating, or paying rent. But it's not just the poor. In 2007 and early 2008 I should have seen we were headed for an economic problem. I was working for my building contractor in a neighborhood with houses in the $500,000 range to $750,000. We wired two houses across from each other, they didn't sale. The contractor had two other houses that didn't sale, highly unusual. Building almost came to a halt. Eventually September 2008 hit, the economic crash. That builder still had those 4 houses. He eventually unloaded them, making some kind of deal with the bank. We still had some service work in that neighborhood, so were in and out. But a lot of For Sale signs went up, at least 15-20. But the problem was, the whole domino effect stopped, different levels of housing prices. If you can't sell your house, you can't buy a bigger house, or even a smaller house. Because of the economy nobody was buying or selling. Housing values dropped. New first time home owners basically drive the whole process. The first level sells their home, a first time buyer buys their house, and they can buy a bigger house. That level sells their house and they move to a bigger level. But even many "rich" people got stuck. But I realized some even "rich" people live paycheck to paycheck, basically actually beyond their means. We had one contractor who had about six classic cars, cars he loved. When he needed money, he'd sell a car. He got down to his last purple Dodge Charger. When things eventually turned around, he started collecting again. Yes, I've noticed that people think about money differently in America to Britain. I'm not saying one way of thinking is better than the other, there are merits to both sides. In one way Americans seem to have more trust that what they spend will come back to then. Maybe more abundant mindset in this regard. In another way, Brits seem to have more respect for money, they don't 'dismiss' a pound, or 20 pence in the way that I sometimes see Americans do. So I can well believe that even those that apparently 'rich' in America, can often be quite close to the edge, when the economic climate changes. Anyway, yeah, I get what you are saying about Sophie's choice. |
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Practice
Sept 30, 2024 0:24:53 GMT -5
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Post by steven on Sept 30, 2024 0:24:53 GMT -5
Or Just do, when doing is needed…and don’t do when doing is not needed. 4 years eleven months ago my Mother fell and crushed her knew replacement. It seemed not like a big deal, surgery was planned to fix it, she was 89. They were almost finished, she had an embolism which irreparably damaged her heart. He said a piece of fat or a piece of bone entered and damaged her heart. The doctor told us about 5:00 in the afternoon. He said we are giving her 5 chemicals, or she would die. He said she will die within 15 minutes after the chemicals are stopped. My Mother, not having a living will or directions, the decision to stop the chemicals was up to me and my sister. I understood that's what he was telling us. Mother eventually came out of anesthesia, and was conscious. She couldn't talk, as she had a breathing tube down her throat. It took my sister a couple of hours to understand, Mother was going to die, the doctor had to paint the picture more clearly, Mother could not possibly go on living. I finally told sister I wanted to tell Mother she was going to die, I would want to know. I told her about 9:00, she understood. That day was my sister's son's birthday, so my sister finally said, let's wait until midnight so Mother won't die on son's birthday. The whole staff was very patient, they said we can wait as long as you need. But after midnight sister couldn't say yes, stop the chemicals. She was torn. It took another 3 hours, with a very little slight pressure from my brother-in-law, for her to finally say, OK, stop the chemicals. But then the hospital had a procedure to follow, so it took another hour before they actually stopped the chemicals. Then she died within 5 minutes. She was asleep when she died. There was about 12 people there, more had been there, and left, probably at least 25 people, family had been called in, the staff gave up trying to stick to rules. BTW, I was also with my Father when he died two years earlier. Sometimes the doing is obvious, sometimes you may as well flip a coin. Sometimes life decides. ~~~~~~~~while I'm here, my boss of 33 years and longer as a friend, died two weeks ago. He was 71, a year younger than me. He went to sleep, nothing wrong, didn't wake up. They don't know why he died. He had one slight problem which was under control. He was still working, he had worked that day. At the funeral I saw some people I hadn't seen in almost eleven years, everybody was obviously older, except me. No, not true. But only a year ago did I start to feel ~old~, but only a little old. BTW, if you don't have a will and a living will and instructions, get it done so family won't have to decide in such circumstances. When it comes to doing or not doing and how and all that, your post made me think of spinning pottery on a pottery wheel. Everybody has their process, their own way…when the clay is on the wheel you shape it, time is irrelevant, how long it takes is irrelevant, there is just the clay spinning in your hands, and the doing of it. Eventually a pot is made…it is made in the making… however that happens with each individual. |
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Practice
Oct 19, 2024 11:54:50 GMT -5
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Post by stardustpilgrim on Oct 19, 2024 11:54:50 GMT -5
Gurdjieff introduced this term, identification, 112 years ago. In In Search of the Miraculous he defines it, in passing, you will miss it if you don't already know what it means. To be identified means something, some event, person, place, thought, feeling, action, sensation, has taken your attention, your attention disappears in-to some-thing. The beginning of awakening is to not-to-be identified, that is, to (consciously) give your attention. And, if some-thing, even later, takes your attention, again, that means you have gone back to sleep. There is a paradox here, as Gurdjieff also taught, no work (practice) can be done in sleep. IOW, you can't practice if you're asleep, but you can't wake up unless you practice.
We are most identified with the imaginary self, unless we aren't.
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Post by inavalan on Oct 19, 2024 12:51:32 GMT -5
Gurdjieff introduced this term, identification, 112 years ago. In In Search of the Miraculous he defines it, in passing, you will miss it if you don't already know what it means. To be identified means something, some event, person, place, thought, feeling, action, has taken your attention. The beginning of awakening is to not-to-be identified, that is, to (consciously) give your attention. And, if some-thing, even later, takes your attention, again, that means you have gone back to sleep. There is a paradox here, as Gurdjieff also taught, no work (practice) can be done in sleep. IOW, you can't practice if you're asleep, but you can't wake up unless you practice. I think that you are describing immersion, when you are one with an action, when your attention is narrowed to the exclusion of everything else, a trance. Trance isn't a binary on / off state; it can be experienced on a continuum of depth. You can consciously adjust it to an optimum level for each action, activity. Although you can simplify the gauging of a trance to a percentage, it is actually multidimensional. A way of de-immersing, of reducing a trance level, is by inducing another trance, which necessarily widens the field of concentration. Then, you can completely switch to another trance. This is what gurus and dogmas attempt to do, unconsciously or consciously. There is a point where there is no dominant trance, 40-60%, where you can easily change the direction, depth and range of attention, awareness. It might be what some people believe to be the ultimate state, but it is just a crossroad of possibilities. It is a shame to get stuck there even temporarily, or to let yourself directed from there by some "noise", randomicity. You need to rely only on your inner guidance. |
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...I would bet money on it.