|
Post by sharon on Jan 31, 2011 12:01:52 GMT -5
"no.. "
ok, do you have any ideas about how identifying is continuing?
|
|
astarxy
Junior Member
Live and let live
Posts: 54
|
Post by astarxy on Jan 31, 2011 13:07:55 GMT -5
"no.. " ok, do you have any ideas about how identifying is continuing? yes. i get emotionally involved and i don't want to. it gets me. she gets me. all this is simple and believable at home, but being there in the office, next to her,... it gets me. i know you'll jump up, but i'll write it anyway: she's the most stupid person i've ever met. even her tricks are stupid. i have no problems dealing with intelligent people, no matter what. but she's a challenge. i guess it's me, the essence of dealing with it, right?
|
|
|
Post by therealfake on Jan 31, 2011 13:39:27 GMT -5
I am responsible for what I see. I choose the feelings I experience, and I decide upon the goal I would achieve. And everything that seems to happen to me I ask for, and receive as I have asked.
ACIM
|
|
|
Post by sharon on Jan 31, 2011 13:41:54 GMT -5
ok ~ thanx for explaining the relationship further
"i get emotionally involved and i don't want to."
do you think she sees you as her friend?
and do you see her as a friend to you?
|
|
|
Post by michaelsees on Jan 31, 2011 13:49:30 GMT -5
"no.. " ok, do you have any ideas about how identifying is continuing? Sharon stop being rude with her you act like your running for office but don't know caca. She asked you in a nice way about identifying and like a 2 bit politician you answer her with questions on 3 separate posts not once did you add anything just questions what a phony you are. If you do not know the answer then be honest about and if you know the answer stop being rude by using questions in place of a answer. I am sure you are probably a man from RT then act like one. And yes I am still at peace Michael
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 31, 2011 14:07:52 GMT -5
"no.. " ok, do you have any ideas about how identifying is continuing? Sharon stop being rude with her you act like your running for office but don't know caca. She asked you in a nice way about identifying and like a 2 bit politician you answer her with questions on 3 separate posts not once did you add anything just questions what a phony you are. If you do not know the answer then be honest about and if you know the answer stop being rude by using questions in place of a answer. I am sure you are probably a man from RT then act like one. And yes I am still at peace Michael wow! LOL. michael, i'm seeing sharon and astarxy engage in some conversation. questioning and listening. getting more information so that the depth of the issue at hand can be understood and more accurately addressed. it sounds like from your response above that you can't see that happening. I imagine this is because sharon ruffled your feathers at some point in the past and despite endlessly repeating to yourself that you must just accept what is and 'yes i am a still at peace' you are so dissatisfied with those ruffled feathers that you can't see straight.
|
|
astarxy
Junior Member
Live and let live
Posts: 54
|
Post by astarxy on Jan 31, 2011 15:03:52 GMT -5
ok ~ thanx for explaining the relationship further "i get emotionally involved and i don't want to." do you think she sees you as her friend? and do you see her as a friend to you? ok, to digg in it a bit deeper... ever since we've been together in one office, my alarms had been silently turning on... you know, your inner voice, your unconsciousness. i wasn't listening, other stuff was more important, so i arogantly silenced the signs. then my eyes opened and saw completely new dimension, perspective. i know, it's been me, my problem, i see it clearly now. you see what you wish to see.. we acually were sort of friends some times ago, but looking at it now, she isn't capable of having friends. she only has people who do stuff instead of her. that's because she isn't capable of doing anything by herself. or that's what she thinks. once you stop being her slave, she strikes with full power (her companions, that is)... i'm amazed how much energy she puts into these kind of nonsense. her life consists 100% of other people. she is a control freak beyond you could imagine. ckecking me out all the time, having her spies checking me. amazing... actually funny. but it takes my energy anyhow. all this is so stupid in my opinion that i have no clue what to do. i simply cannot see her as friend any more after all the negetaive experiences. i'm not angry or resentful, by far not. for me she's just someone next to me. i only wish she would accept it as this, too. believe me, she is a challenge. thnx.
|
|
|
Post by sharon on Jan 31, 2011 15:41:10 GMT -5
Thanx too. I can hear what you are saying and I understand 'but it takes my energy anyhow' ~ this kind of dynamic is always draining because it's not real and of the honesty that you would clearly prefer to be around. I understand that wanting to care for someone else often overrides our natural intuition until we learn to completely trust it. Unfortunately perhaps the only way to learn how aware it really is and how it works in day to day living is to ignore it sometimes and see what happens as a result. "i only wish she would accept it as this" ~ I think that you accepting, that she is not the kind of friend you want to have, is the most important and vital aspect. And in opposition to michael's position I don't think I have your answers. I do know that your answers are in you though, where else could they be? And one more question Do you love the job?
|
|
astarxy
Junior Member
Live and let live
Posts: 54
|
Post by astarxy on Jan 31, 2011 16:59:12 GMT -5
And one more question Do you love the job? i've been expecting this question. it's the only job i've ever wanted. it's been the only thing keeping me there in times of total dispare. quitting is not an option. if you feel why you're doing what you're doing, if it gives you that, then the only thing remaining is going your way. no matter what.
|
|
|
Post by sharon on Jan 31, 2011 17:03:48 GMT -5
'i've been expecting this question.' ~ glad to not let you down you are very strong
|
|
|
Post by therealfake on Jan 31, 2011 19:14:44 GMT -5
The question is, who is suffering in this relationship? Answer, you. You can say that you don't resent her for her controlling actions, but that's a delusion. You don't see, that it's your judgement of her, (controlling, stupid, etc, etc,) that's causing your suffering. It is you who suffers by trying to control the situation, even though you don't think your doing anything. You would dearly love to have the power to get her fired or moved away from you, because you feel vulnerable, caused by your seeming, lack of control. The real control and invulnerability is who you are on the inside.You have 2 choices, be the one that suffers, or the one that can't be touched. Really there's only one...
|
|
|
Post by stepvhen on Jan 31, 2011 20:43:38 GMT -5
Look it's a lot easier to realize that there is nothing for the identifications to identify with. In fact, thats what stop identifying is all about
|
|
|
Post by sharon on Feb 1, 2011 3:27:42 GMT -5
"The real control and invulnerability is who you are on the inside."
It's not who she is on the inside ~ it's self, that's all. You have to know clearly what self is and isn't. Otherwise you'll be trying to kill a ghost.
.~.
"In fact, thats what stop identifying is all about"
Yes, if identifying never starts then there is no stopping that has to happen.
|
|
|
Post by therealfake on Feb 1, 2011 9:49:23 GMT -5
"The real control and invulnerability is who you are on the inside." It's not who she is on the inside ~ it's self, that's all. You have to know clearly what self is and isn't. Otherwise you'll be trying to kill a ghost. .~. "In fact, thats what stop identifying is all about" Yes, if identifying never starts then there is no stopping that has to happen. Yes, inside and outside are cryptic terms for what is real, what is and that which arises from it. Speaking that way adds clarity for her situation. Getting into what ' is' at this point, is more of a distraction. Telling someone to stop identifying, is an empty concept to them , unless they can see a valid reason for doing it. They have to first find out, that they don't even know, they don't know they're still identifying with something, before they can do anything about it. In short there could be some subconscious identifying going on that she's not aware of.
|
|
|
Post by enigma on Feb 1, 2011 11:05:51 GMT -5
Astarxy: "yes. i get emotionally involved and i don't want to."
Maybe this sounds odd, but you DO want to or it wouldn't be happening. The idea that you don't want to do what you're doing is the formation of a split mind, and confusion inevitably results. There's always a pay-off in getting emotionally involved. What does the situation call for without the emotional involvement?
|
|