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Post by sharon on Jan 30, 2011 18:34:10 GMT -5
"You really should try it don't listen to your ego mind telling you it's not enough you really should know better than that anyhow."
The 'should' belongs to the writer.
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Post by angela on Jan 30, 2011 19:27:44 GMT -5
yeah, enigma is right.... what i meant was that the co-worker can tell on some level that it bothers you. it's like - she's got a handful of stuff/junk/ickygoo and she's looking for somewhere to set it. as long as you have walls and boundaries she has something to put her stuff onto or up against.
as soon as you are empty of any of that - living as the true/radical accepting of her without argument with *what is* - then she has to quit.
none of it is a strategy, it's almost like physics. it's basic. if she can't bother you, she can't bother you. and she'll stop.
and i don't say that in theory, that has been my actual experience in my life. when the genuine acceptance of what is - no more argument with what is - began in my life, then all the outer relationships shifted accordingly.
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Post by sharon on Jan 30, 2011 19:37:34 GMT -5
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Post by zendancer on Jan 30, 2011 19:37:52 GMT -5
yeah, enigma is right.... what i meant was that the co-worker can tell on some level that it bothers you. it's like - she's got a handful of stuff/junk/ickygoo and she's looking for somewhere to set it. as long as you have walls and boundaries she has something to put her stuff onto or up against. as soon as you are empty of any of that - living as the true/radical accepting of her without argument with *what is* - then she has to quit. none of it is a strategy, it's almost like physics. it's basic. if she can't bother you, she can't bother you. and she'll stop. and i don't say that in theory, that has been my actual experience in my life. when the genuine acceptance of what is - no more argument with what is - began in my life, then all the outer relationships shifted accordingly. That's true, and it reminds me of someone who asked Adyashanti a similar question about how to respond to an irritating person. He advised the person to imagine a flap on the rear of her head, and to keep the flap open so that whatever was projected toward her would pass right through without anywhere to stick. Several people later told me that just imagining such an open flap helped them a great deal in various life situations. This isn't the same as true acceptance, but it humorously and imaginatively points in that direction. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 30, 2011 20:32:46 GMT -5
as I am needed elsewhere. Michael the Awakened One to the rescue!! |
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Post by enigma on Jan 30, 2011 20:39:13 GMT -5
Been living that way for a long time, Michael. Sooner or later you'll find it's not enough for 'you', and Michael will have to stop trying things and go bye-bye. I very much doubt it. IT's only your ego that tells you your lacking and need more. Okay I will answer TRF and go bye-bye on this thread. You really should try it don't listen to your ego mind telling you it's not enough you really should know better than that anyhow. Peace Michael Oh, you're just being supercilious.  |
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Post by enigma on Jan 30, 2011 20:42:05 GMT -5
I'd really like to, but it would just be another relative truth, arising out of that, which already is. You know, just another spiritual experience flowing out of the awareness... I'm trying to forget about all that stuff, that's what keeps things fresh and new. I think I'll just stick with what's real, that which doesn't change... Thanks anyway  Man are you 2 really that dense that you can't see it. You are too close to the forest to see the trees! It's clear you have no idea what I am speaking about which has nothing to do with experiencing anything. Ok I will say bye-bye as I am needed elsewhere. Michael When I said "bye-bye" I meant Rudolph the red nosed ego identity.  |
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Post by enigma on Jan 30, 2011 20:58:00 GMT -5
"and i don't say that in theory, that has been my actual experience in my life. when the genuine acceptance of what is - no more argument with what is - began in my life, then all the outer relationships shifted accordingly."
That has been my experience as well. It's a bit wondrous, actually. In the wake of acceptance, all the irritating ones change or otherwise, mysteriously or not so mysteriously, disappear from one's life.
It reminds me of a lady I counseled for about a year who was having major issues with her husband. I told her acceptance is all that is required, and the situation will resolve itself. She doesn't have to do anything. At the end of the year, she had accomplished a remarkable degree of acceptance and had formed a new network of supportive friends. Her husband died a month later.
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Post by ivory on Jan 30, 2011 21:01:37 GMT -5
I didn't read all of the posts in this thread, some of the stuff posted was legit. You asked about identification, but you only gave one example which has more or less has to do with a person in your office.
We can't see ourselves because there isn't a self. Go ahead and try to find it. In other words, we don't know who we are. However, it is through relationships that we learn about "ourselves". There is mind identification because of the emotions that are tethered to those thoughts. So when we interact with people we will feel emotion. Those emotions tell you things that you should investigate. Most people tend to look outwardly, but unfortunately, that is the wrong place to look. So rather than say, "she's hypocritical," ask yourself, "what is it about me that makes me think she's hypocritical?" Another good question to ask is, "how does one recognize a hypocrite?"
I think this has already been said, but pay no mind to other people, it's unfruitful for your practice. It's all about looking inwards. There will come a point where you realize that it's silly to judge others because you begin to see yourself in them. As much as nobody wants to believe this, we are all the same. We are all dumb, we are all hypocrites, we are all selfish, we all suck, haha. So how can we possibly judge?
I'll say one more thing about identification. One of the things I used to do and still do is use post it notes to track my thoughts. When I catch myself thinking, particularly when there's an emotion involved, I'll post a sticky note on the wall. In this way you learn a great deal about yourself, and you learn a great deal about the workings of the mind/ego. You can then take it a step further and inquire into why you feel the way that you do. What I found is that there are many suppressed emotions and all kinds of conditioning, a load of crap, hidden from plain view.
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Post by michaelsees on Jan 30, 2011 22:28:28 GMT -5
"and i don't say that in theory, that has been my actual experience in my life. when the genuine acceptance of what is - no more argument with what is - began in my life, then all the outer relationships shifted accordingly." That has been my experience as well. It's a bit wondrous, actually. In the wake of acceptance, all the irritating ones change or otherwise, mysteriously or not so mysteriously, disappear from one's life. It reminds me of a lady I counseled for about a year who was having major issues with her husband. I told her acceptance is all that is required, and the situation will resolve itself. She doesn't have to do anything. At the end of the year, she had accomplished a remarkable degree of acceptance and had formed a new network of supportive friends. Her husband died a month later. Good post and exactly my point when you don't get involved everything get taken care of if it gets taken care of regardless you would have not told her to accept anything. So you know the truth and see it in your clients I say no more. This is all I was saying make life much easier and peaceful now it has nothing to do with awakening that will happen on it's own by no help from anyone. Michael |
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Post by enigma on Jan 30, 2011 23:16:05 GMT -5
Yes, that's also what I've been saying all along. I didn't direct her to get off her but and do accepting. I repeatedly told her to stop trying to do anything and just notice what's going on. She kicked and screamed and cried until she saw it all clearly, and in this seeing there was nothing left to be done. In this not-doing there was acceptance. In the acceptance, everything changed. She learned the unteachable, that her entire world unfolds from within.
I do understand what you've been saying, Michael, and I've supported it. I've simply been saying what you just said, that it has nothing to do with awakening. It was not her goal to awaken. It was her goal to change her life, and that mission was accomplished.
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Post by michaelsees on Jan 30, 2011 23:26:19 GMT -5
ok no problem you may have thought I was implying it had to do with awakening that's why I mentioned it. Yes your much more of a diplomat than I. If I chose to be a consular my nickname would be the consular from hell!
Michael
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astarxy
Junior Member
Live and let live
Posts: 54
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Post by astarxy on Jan 31, 2011 10:04:37 GMT -5
to return to basics... how do you turn off identifying? seems to me it's the hardest of all... everything else i've managed....
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Post by sharon on Jan 31, 2011 11:37:53 GMT -5
"how do you turn off identifying?"
Do you know how you are turning it on?
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astarxy
Junior Member
Live and let live
Posts: 54
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Post by astarxy on Jan 31, 2011 11:57:04 GMT -5
"how do you turn off identifying?" Do you know how you are turning it on? no.. |
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