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Post by zendancer on Jun 26, 2018 19:47:58 GMT -5
Yellow-green sky
deep rumbling
nowhere to hide
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Post by Reefs on Jun 27, 2018 21:05:06 GMT -5
I agree. It is ingenious in its own way. I think a good haiku very often is a bit like a koan. |
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Post by justlikeyou on Jun 28, 2018 7:29:16 GMT -5
Yellow-green sky deep rumbling nowhere to hide Hey ZD. Relatable images here, but I read them as three separate images/line. Haiku is usually structured with a two line phrase - using common language - and a fragment. Here is an example using your images... the rumbling of a yellow-green sky getting wet the rumbling of a yellow-green sky getting wet |
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Post by justlikeyou on Jun 28, 2018 7:31:17 GMT -5
I agree. It is ingenious in its own way. I think a good haiku very often is a bit like a koan. Yes, the ability to stop a mind cold is a commonality between them. |
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Post by laughter on Jun 28, 2018 7:33:00 GMT -5
Yellow-green sky deep rumbling nowhere to hide Hey ZD. Relatable images here, but I read them as three separate images/line. Haiku is usually structured with a two line phrase - using common language - and a fragment. Here is an example using your images... the rumbling of a yellow-green sky getting wet the rumbling of a yellow-green sky getting wet But "nowhere to hide" offers the reader two different possible meanings.  |
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Post by justlikeyou on Jun 28, 2018 8:06:09 GMT -5
Hey ZD. Relatable images here, but I read them as three separate images/line. Haiku is usually structured with a two line phrase - using common language - and a fragment. Here is an example using your images... the rumbling of a yellow-green sky getting wet the rumbling of a yellow-green sky getting wet But "nowhere to hide" offers the reader two different possible meanings. It may do and can work fine as a fragment. Mainly suggesting getting a common language phrase made out of the other two lines. Another thing to watch for and avoid is cause and effect, in that order. I’ve found stating the effect before the cause gets by most readers/judges without issue however 😇 |
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Post by Reefs on Jun 28, 2018 20:27:23 GMT -5
But "nowhere to hide" offers the reader two different possible meanings. It may do and can work fine as a fragment. Mainly suggesting getting a common language phrase made out of the other two lines. Another thing to watch for and avoid is cause and effect, in that order. I’ve found stating the effect before the cause gets by most readers/judges without issue however 😇 Interesting what you say about avoiding cause and effect. That would mean in order to write a good haiku, ideally, this would require a perspective from prior to mind or, if that's not an option, you just throw in something random/surprising. I guess the first one would make the haiku profound, the second one would make it mechanical (like the haiku generator). |
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Post by justlikeyou on Jul 1, 2018 8:42:19 GMT -5
It may do and can work fine as a fragment. Mainly suggesting getting a common language phrase made out of the other two lines. Another thing to watch for and avoid is cause and effect, in that order. I’ve found stating the effect before the cause gets by most readers/judges without issue however 😇 Interesting what you say about avoiding cause and effect. That would mean in order to write a good haiku, ideally, this would require a perspective from prior to mind or, if that's not an option, you just throw in something random/surprising. I guess the first one would make the haiku profound, the second one would make it mechanical (like the haiku generator). The origin of most good haiku is pure, wordless perception. The moment you begin to formulate it though, it becomes a creation of mind. No getting around that. There is something called "desk haiku" which is based purely upon memory and imagination. Those can sometimes be as profound as ones born of a moment of pure perception. Inspiration and profundity can be found in both meethinks, but not always. Depends upon the writer. sprinkling a ruckus of ravens |
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Post by Reefs on Jul 3, 2018 5:14:14 GMT -5
Interesting what you say about avoiding cause and effect. That would mean in order to write a good haiku, ideally, this would require a perspective from prior to mind or, if that's not an option, you just throw in something random/surprising. I guess the first one would make the haiku profound, the second one would make it mechanical (like the haiku generator). The origin of most good haiku is pure, wordless perception. The moment you begin to formulate it t hough, it becomes a creation of mind. No getting around that. There is something called "desk haiku" which is based purely upon memory and imagination. Those can sometimes be as profound as ones born of a moment of pure perception. Inspiration and profundity can be found in both meethinks, but not always. Depends upon the writer. sprinkling a ruckus of ravens Yeah, I noticed that. Sometimes the haiku generator creates some really good lines. There's just a little divine touch missing. Now, if I get my intellect involved there in order to patch it up a bit and make it less random, less nonsensical and more digestible, I almost always mess it up. You just can't make spontaneous on purpose, haha. |
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Post by justlikeyou on Jul 4, 2018 16:23:55 GMT -5
You just can't make spontaneous on purpose, haha. :-) |
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Post by justlikeyou on Jul 4, 2018 20:38:07 GMT -5
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Post by justlikeyou on Jul 20, 2018 8:55:48 GMT -5
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Post by justlikeyou on Aug 26, 2018 20:05:20 GMT -5
the esplanade
he stoops
to her level
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Post by glimmer on Aug 27, 2018 3:36:33 GMT -5
some words
appear -
wonder
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Post by explorer on Aug 27, 2018 5:59:16 GMT -5
Id' like to try some haikus on the Elements. So here is one on EARTH:
Walking on your way,
Moving slowly through the day,
No hurry, no haste.
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