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Post by Beingist on May 2, 2013 15:05:09 GMT -5
As I understand it, attachment to an identity would mean that I am somehow 'bound' by it....that It defines my way of being. & If I'm loving playing the role of mom or artist or whatever, where are the binds or limitations? If they are there, there is no problem with them, so...where's the problem?  If no need is present, there is no attachment. If I am attached to a certain self image, then there is a need present there to be seen by others and to see self, in a particular light. If that need is not there, no attachment. Sometimes I consciously consider the role, sometimes I'm just 'in it.' This morning as I wrote my artists bio, I was consciously putting on the artists hat. Okay. I understand that putting emotional import on anything indicates attachment, but what I'm trying to gather, here, is whether there can be an attachment to a self-image without emotionality. When you 'consciously consider the role' (any role), doesn't such consideration include a particular definition of and/or expectation regarding that role? And if so, would that not still indicate an attachment, however subtle? What if you fail to fulfill the role you've consciously considered? Does not an emotion arise, then (i.e., guilt as a result of failure)? And wouldn't that emotion still indicate an attachment? I don't agree that 'putting emotional import on anything indicates attachment' not in the sense that the absence of it will pull us from our center of Peace. And that's the only reason I see to even invoke the idea of 'attachment'....to denote that which Peace is conditional upon. If I can experience the absence of something and Peace continues to prevail....no attachment worthy of noting. I've loved someone dearly, they died..... but, Peace did not. But, Yes, I do agree that if we're setting up criteria to 'be fulfilled' in the roles we play and the absence of fulfilling them means Peace is no longer, that would mean we were attached. When it comes to labelling something as an attachment, my criteria is: Does Peace depend upon the presence of this thing? [/quote] Okay, I'm not making any sense out of this, so ... never mind. Thanks for the conversation. |
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Post by topology on May 2, 2013 15:13:06 GMT -5
incessant? Would there be a sense of loss if the roles did not arise again? With the roles I thoroughly enjoy, sure. But a sense of loss itself is not a problem if it's felt fully and then released. This body has a progressive neurological disorder that is slowly affecting the most basic physical functions. Prior to this, I've always enjoyed peak health, used to perform in a rock band, run every morning, lift weight, and in general,give my kids a run for their money when it came to energy and stamina. Initially there was a sense of having the role of 'healthy energetic woman' ripped out from under me...(and all those other roles that that supported). So yes, initially, a sense of loss. But it did not last long. And the vantage point provided by where I now stand, has opened up new vistas with all sorts of new 'roles' to engage with if/when they beckon. AS I see it, so long as we're physically alive, there will never be a shortage of enjoyable roles to play, so long as we're still interested in participating in the play. And if the interest in participating in the play fell away? |
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Post by Deleted on May 2, 2013 15:20:20 GMT -5
Dear Dude/Dudette, That's clutterization in my book. TMT. It's not as though there's a commentary of those words running through my head as I engage with those roles.....I'm using words (and yes, thinking!) here to attempt to explain experience. So, you never 'felt' like a husband or parent....and yet, you seem to be (amazingly, oh tight lipped one!!  ) to be telling us that you ARE in fact, a husband and a parent. The fact that you'd even use those words to describe yourself, indicates that to some degree, you engage with those roles. If you refer to yourself with those words, then surely they mean 'something' to you...? What is it to be a father? What is it to be a husband? What does it mean to 'feel' like a father? We need not come to these roles full of societal expectations. Each of us gets to create our own version of what it means to be a mom, dad, parent, child, friend..... Surely you've felt a sense of nurturing and caring for a child? That's 'feeling' like a parent. Surely you've felt some sense of love and committment re; marriage? To me, that's what it means to feel like a husband/wife. |
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Post by Deleted on May 2, 2013 15:22:26 GMT -5
With the roles I thoroughly enjoy, sure. But a sense of loss itself is not a problem if it's felt fully and then released. This body has a progressive neurological disorder that is slowly affecting the most basic physical functions. Prior to this, I've always enjoyed peak health, used to perform in a rock band, run every morning, lift weight, and in general,give my kids a run for their money when it came to energy and stamina. Initially there was a sense of having the role of 'healthy energetic woman' ripped out from under me...(and all those other roles that that supported). So yes, initially, a sense of loss. But it did not last long. And the vantage point provided by where I now stand, has opened up new vistas with all sorts of new 'roles' to engage with if/when they beckon. AS I see it, so long as we're physically alive, there will never be a shortage of enjoyable roles to play, so long as we're still interested in participating in the play. And if the interest in participating in the play fell away? Then, so be it. |
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Post by enigma on May 2, 2013 15:27:27 GMT -5
incessant? Would there be a sense of loss if the roles did not arise again? With the roles I thoroughly enjoy, sure. But a sense of loss itself is not a problem if it's felt fully and then released. This body has a progressive neurological disorder that is slowly affecting the most basic physical functions. Prior to this, I've always enjoyed peak health, used to perform in a rock band, run every morning, lift weight, and in general,give my kids a run for their money when it came to energy and stamina. Initially there was a sense of having the role of 'healthy energetic woman' ripped out from under me...(and all those other roles that that supported). So yes, initially, a sense of loss. But it did not last long. And the vantage point provided by where I now stand, has opened up new vistas with all sorts of new 'roles' to engage with if/when they beckon. AS I see it, so long as we're physically alive, there will never be a shortage of enjoyable roles to play, so long as we're still interested in participating in the play. You mentioned that neurological disorder, a number of years ago if I recall. It's sort of interesting that while I've questioned the mental state/function of a couple of peeps here, I see no sign of that in you. To the extent that we disagree, I don't see it being related to any sort of cognitive dysfunction. (FWIW) |
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Post by topology on May 2, 2013 15:30:27 GMT -5
And if the interest in participating in the play fell away? Then, so be it. Can you feel what it would feel like to have the interest in role playing fall away? |
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Post by enigma on May 2, 2013 15:32:24 GMT -5
With the roles I thoroughly enjoy, sure. But a sense of loss itself is not a problem if it's felt fully and then released. This body has a progressive neurological disorder that is slowly affecting the most basic physical functions. Prior to this, I've always enjoyed peak health, used to perform in a rock band, run every morning, lift weight, and in general,give my kids a run for their money when it came to energy and stamina. Initially there was a sense of having the role of 'healthy energetic woman' ripped out from under me...(and all those other roles that that supported). So yes, initially, a sense of loss. But it did not last long. And the vantage point provided by where I now stand, has opened up new vistas with all sorts of new 'roles' to engage with if/when they beckon. AS I see it, so long as we're physically alive, there will never be a shortage of enjoyable roles to play, so long as we're still interested in participating in the play. And if the interest in participating in the play fell away? I'm thinkin death wouldn't be too far behind. (Not that there's anything wrong with that) |
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Post by Deleted on May 2, 2013 15:40:47 GMT -5
With the roles I thoroughly enjoy, sure. But a sense of loss itself is not a problem if it's felt fully and then released. This body has a progressive neurological disorder that is slowly affecting the most basic physical functions. Prior to this, I've always enjoyed peak health, used to perform in a rock band, run every morning, lift weight, and in general,give my kids a run for their money when it came to energy and stamina. Initially there was a sense of having the role of 'healthy energetic woman' ripped out from under me...(and all those other roles that that supported). So yes, initially, a sense of loss. But it did not last long. And the vantage point provided by where I now stand, has opened up new vistas with all sorts of new 'roles' to engage with if/when they beckon. AS I see it, so long as we're physically alive, there will never be a shortage of enjoyable roles to play, so long as we're still interested in participating in the play. You mentioned that neurological disorder, a number of years ago if I recall. It's sort of interesting that while I've questioned the mental state/function of a couple of peeps here, I see no sign of that in you. To the extent that we disagree, I don't see it being related to any sort of cognitive dysfunction. (FWIW) Haha.....It's worth quite a lot actually E, so thanks for that.  |
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Post by topology on May 2, 2013 15:54:41 GMT -5
You mentioned that neurological disorder, a number of years ago if I recall. It's sort of interesting that while I've questioned the mental state/function of a couple of peeps here, I see no sign of that in you. To the extent that we disagree, I don't see it being related to any sort of cognitive dysfunction. (FWIW) Haha.....It's worth quite a lot actually E, so thanks for that. I'm going to ditto what enigma said. |
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Post by Deleted on May 2, 2013 15:57:03 GMT -5
Can you feel what it would feel like to have the interest in role playing fall away? I guess I kind of see 'participating in the play of life' to go hand in hand with interest in some kind of engagement with roles...so I'd have to agree with E and say that if interest in 'participating in the play' goes, interest in being physically alive goes. |
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Post by laughter on May 2, 2013 19:21:03 GMT -5
With kids and an as of yet un-sexed life partner. not that there's anything wrong with that! |
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Post by laughter on May 2, 2013 19:25:16 GMT -5
Haha.....It's worth quite a lot actually E, so thanks for that. I'm going to ditto what enigma said. Heart out to ya' figs ... seems to me you know where to look for strength. |
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Post by Beingist on May 2, 2013 19:28:05 GMT -5
incessant? Would there be a sense of loss if the roles did not arise again? With the roles I thoroughly enjoy, sure. But a sense of loss itself is not a problem if it's felt fully and then released. This body has a progressive neurological disorder that is slowly affecting the most basic physical functions. Prior to this, I've always enjoyed peak health, used to perform in a rock band, run every morning, lift weight, and in general,give my kids a run for their money when it came to energy and stamina. Initially there was a sense of having the role of 'healthy energetic woman' ripped out from under me...(and all those other roles that that supported). So yes, initially, a sense of loss. But it did not last long. And the vantage point provided by where I now stand, has opened up new vistas with all sorts of new 'roles' to engage with if/when they beckon. AS I see it, so long as we're physically alive, there will never be a shortage of enjoyable roles to play, so long as we're still interested in participating in the play. "Those who mourn well, live well." -- David Viscott |
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Post by Deleted on May 2, 2013 19:47:06 GMT -5
With the roles I thoroughly enjoy, sure. But a sense of loss itself is not a problem if it's felt fully and then released. This body has a progressive neurological disorder that is slowly affecting the most basic physical functions. Prior to this, I've always enjoyed peak health, used to perform in a rock band, run every morning, lift weight, and in general,give my kids a run for their money when it came to energy and stamina. Initially there was a sense of having the role of 'healthy energetic woman' ripped out from under me...(and all those other roles that that supported). So yes, initially, a sense of loss. But it did not last long. And the vantage point provided by where I now stand, has opened up new vistas with all sorts of new 'roles' to engage with if/when they beckon. AS I see it, so long as we're physically alive, there will never be a shortage of enjoyable roles to play, so long as we're still interested in participating in the play. "Those who mourn well, live well." -- David Viscott Love that B.  |
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Post by Deleted on May 2, 2013 20:06:03 GMT -5
I'm going to ditto what enigma said. Heart out to ya' figs ... seems to me you know where to look for strength. Thanks Laughter. OH yeah...this crazy, woo-woo lady knows.  |
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) to be telling us that you ARE in fact, a husband and a parent.
