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Post by adventurousman on May 1, 2013 15:29:43 GMT -5
So I've been listening to him for quite a while and I've some questions regarding his take on sex and relationships.
some things he said about relationships, what to do and what not to do
Never chase women
be serious with them
don't make the first move and then tells women to not make the first move either.
if she has attitude or ego, walk out of the date but what if your goal is only to have sex, why would that be wrong?
gays and lesbians sex is not normal, so what would he say to them? To become straight or after u r enlightened u will be?
and what has that to do with truth? Just sexual preference come into play? Or is he saying after u r enlightened then u will realize that its not normal to have sex with the same gender?
That way if both parties don't make a move then nothing would happen. Women probably don't chase men and if u don't even want her as he puts it and u r just talking to her then it won't go anywhere either.
Another thing is that his teachings are too indirect. Wouldn't it be best to choose direct path and remove the egoic self rather than just observing one's thoughts and emotions?
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Post by enigma on May 1, 2013 16:30:11 GMT -5
I've had some issues with ole Vern, but I haven't heard anybody mention him in years.
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Post by zendancer on May 1, 2013 16:41:49 GMT -5
So I've been listening to him for quite a while and I've some questions regarding his take on sex and relationships. some things he said about relationships, what to do and what not to do Never chase women be serious with them don't make the first move and then tells women to not make the first move either. if she has attitude or ego, walk out of the date but what if your goal is only to have sex, why would that be wrong? gays and lesbians sex is not normal, so what would he say to them? To become straight or after u r enlightened u will be? and what has that to do with truth? Just sexual preference come into play? Or is he saying after u r enlightened then u will realize that its not normal to have sex with the same gender? That way if both parties don't make a move then nothing would happen. Women probably don't chase men and if u don't even want her as he puts it and u r just talking to her then it won't go anywhere either. Another thing is that his teachings are too indirect. Wouldn't it be best to choose direct path and remove the egoic self rather than just observing one's thoughts and emotions? Sounds like silly advice to me. Never chase women? Most women like to be chased. Be serious with women? Most women enjoy men who are playful (playfulness is not the same as toying). Don't make the first move? Why not? BTW, what does any of this have to do with truth, insight, understanding, or realization? If you want to have meaningful relationships with women, then learn how to listen, get out of your head, be considerate or others' feelings, keep an open mind, show respect, treat others as you would want to be treated, be creative, be spontaneous, don't talk about yourself too much, don't expect anything, be honest, be direct, be kind. Be the kind of man you would want to meet if you were a woman. |
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Post by adventurousman on May 1, 2013 17:05:40 GMT -5
He talks about different topics in his seminars. Its all interconnected but yes there is no direct link between this and truth but he gives advice about different life areas and if u master one, u can master others and so on. He says once u r self realized, u will never chase women. He says to stop thinking about women and stop fantasizing about them. I would like to hear from one of his students (if there are any here) couldn't find any other place to post this |
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Post by Deleted on May 1, 2013 18:14:41 GMT -5
Sounds like he's offering up some practices for enlightenment...
The Buddha recommended not committing adultery as a practice towards enlightenment.
Maybe Vern see's himself as a modern day Buddha.
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Post by silence on May 1, 2013 18:56:00 GMT -5
Sounds like a bunch of nonsense, period. Run!
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Post by Deleted on May 1, 2013 20:11:56 GMT -5
Sounds like a bunch of nonsense, period. Run! Indeedy-do!...And/or Hallelujah!  I've been nodding along with most of your posts lately Silence.  ...I'm sure you find that thrilling.  Surely to God, the term "en-light-en-ment" is pointing towards a falling away of excess baggage, (should's and should not's being a big part of that) rather than taking on more. |
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Post by Deleted on May 1, 2013 20:17:24 GMT -5
Sounds like a bunch of nonsense, period. Run! Indeedy-do!...And/or Hallelujah! I've been nodding along with most of your posts lately Silence. ...I'm sure you find that thrilling. Surely to God, the term "en-light-en-ment" is pointing towards a falling away of excess baggage, (should's and should not's being a big part of that) rather than taking on more. Wouldn't not committing adultery be one of those dropping and falling away of excess baggage thingy's your talking about? Irrespective of whether it leads to en-light-en-ment or not? |
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Post by Deleted on May 1, 2013 20:34:44 GMT -5
Indeedy-do!...And/or Hallelujah! I've been nodding along with most of your posts lately Silence. ...I'm sure you find that thrilling. Surely to God, the term "en-light-en-ment" is pointing towards a falling away of excess baggage, (should's and should not's being a big part of that) rather than taking on more. Wouldn't not committing adultery be one of those dropping and falling away of excess baggage thingy's your talking about? Irrespective of whether it leads to en-light-en-ment or not? I dunno. It depends on whether engaging in sex is a 'should' or if we're just flowing in a natural way. If we look at what's behind the whole term ' committing adultery' there's a whole bunch of ideas about how people 'should' be behaving. |
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Post by Deleted on May 1, 2013 20:54:19 GMT -5
Wouldn't not committing adultery be one of those dropping and falling away of excess baggage thingy's your talking about? Irrespective of whether it leads to en-light-en-ment or not? I dunno. It depends on whether engaging in sex is a 'should' or if we're just flowing in a natural way. If we look at what's behind the whole term ' committing adultery' there's a whole bunch of ideas about how people 'should' be behaving. Right, we never ask ourselves the obvious... Why do I want to commit adultery, or why do I want to be rich, or why do I want to be famous, or why do I want to have numerous lovers, or why do I want enlightenment, or why do I want anything at all? If we did we might start to realize stuff...  |
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Post by Deleted on May 1, 2013 21:05:27 GMT -5
Right, we never ask ourselves the obvious... Why do I want to commit adultery, or why do I want to be rich, or why do I want to be famous, or why do I want to have numerous lovers, or why do I want enlightenment, or why do I want anything at all? If we did we might start to realize stuff... Sure, those questions can be really important...can help us come to clarity. But once we're operating with clarity, if those urges arise, and they don't interfere with an overriding intention, why not? I was actually speaking to the whole creation of the term 'committing adultery.' The idea that there are laws/rules that dictate how couples 'should' behave has just never jibed with me...just my own stuff, but nevertheless, the idea that sex should be regulated in some form, really is societal baggage. (a taking on of 'shoulds' and 'should nots.') |
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Post by adventurousman on May 1, 2013 21:16:03 GMT -5
or who is the I who is wanting all this stuff?
btw he says its okay to have sex or have romantic relationships whether married or not, its upto you.
Vernon makes a lot of sense to me & is motivating to wake up but somethings I don't understand such as this
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Post by Deleted on May 1, 2013 21:32:08 GMT -5
or who is the I who is wanting all this stuff? Does that really matter? For each of 'us' there seems to be an "I" having an unique an individuated experience, why not just accept that at face value? Why not listen to your own heart on these matters? There's never any way to 'go astray' once you're able to 'tune in' to the voice within. Yes, sometimes the words and teachings of others do resonate with our own...great that you've found such...but....it's important to acknowledge when we're substituting their words and beliefs for our own. |
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Post by Beingist on May 1, 2013 22:21:09 GMT -5
or who is the I who is wanting all this stuff? Does that really matter? For each of 'us' there seems to be an "I" having an unique an individuated experience, why not just accept that at face value? Speaking for myself, there's just no way I could kid myself like that, and I simply can't understand how anyone else can. "To thine own self be true" would include asking what the self even is. |
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Post by Deleted on May 1, 2013 22:33:46 GMT -5
Does that really matter? For each of 'us' there seems to be an "I" having an unique an individuated experience, why not just accept that at face value? Speaking for myself, there's just no way I could kid myself like that, and I simply can't understand how anyone else can. "To thine own self be true" would include asking what the self even is. There's only 'kidding' myself if there is an obvious and solid answer and I am for some reason avoiding it. Does asking and coming to answer change the wanting? |
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...I'm sure you find that thrilling. 
