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Post by enigma on Apr 29, 2012 19:02:04 GMT -5
Having read 'Capricorn' and 'Cancer', I think this is strong evidence that there really IS something in astrology ;D Math is the universal language, so we got that going fer us! ;D Betcha enigma is a Sag, or a Taurus  Nope.  |
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Post by living on Apr 29, 2012 19:38:02 GMT -5
Nope isn't on the chart.  |
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Post by enigma on Apr 29, 2012 21:09:48 GMT -5
Nope isn't on the chart. Neither am I. ;D |
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Post by living on Apr 29, 2012 21:44:11 GMT -5
Nope isn't on the chart. Neither am I. ;D ;D The artful dodger strikes again! |
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Post by zendancer on Apr 30, 2012 6:16:26 GMT -5
Midnight: Are you still here? If you are, PM me. Your experience is very similar to what happened to Suzanne Segal (Collision with the Infinite) except that she wasn't doing anything to "cause" her loss of selfhood and sense of depersonalization. It hit her right out of the blue, and she lived with the loss and fear for ten years. You might want to read her story as a point of reference, and to think about what helped get rid of her fear.
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Post by midnight on Apr 30, 2012 16:31:24 GMT -5
Well, Suzanne Segal actually died of a brain tumor, which isn't always mentioned (....) so she probably didn't have any sort of spiritual experience and her brain was just altered to a massive extent. Funny how spiritual types hasten to mention her demise. Poor woman.
I'l read it but doubt it will help to be honest, but thanks anyway for the suggestion.
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Post by silence on Apr 30, 2012 18:57:56 GMT -5
Well, Suzanne Segal actually died of a brain tumor, which isn't always mentioned (....) so she probably didn't have any sort of spiritual experience and her brain was just altered to a massive extent. Funny how spiritual types hasten to mention her demise. Poor woman. I'l read it but doubt it will help to be honest, but thanks anyway for the suggestion. Maybe we're all rockin the brain tumor.  |
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Post by jasonl on May 1, 2012 0:49:12 GMT -5
Well, Suzanne Segal actually died of a brain tumor, which isn't always mentioned (....) so she probably didn't have any sort of spiritual experience and her brain was just altered to a massive extent. Funny how spiritual types hasten to mention her demise. Poor woman. I'l read it but doubt it will help to be honest, but thanks anyway for the suggestion. Right, nothing is going to help. Not surprising when peeps have no interest in realizing that, or pretending that they realize something else... |
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Post by jasonl on May 1, 2012 0:49:43 GMT -5
Well, Suzanne Segal actually died of a brain tumor, which isn't always mentioned (....) so she probably didn't have any sort of spiritual experience and her brain was just altered to a massive extent. Funny how spiritual types hasten to mention her demise. Poor woman. I'l read it but doubt it will help to be honest, but thanks anyway for the suggestion. Maybe we're all rockin the brain tumor. You got one too?!?! |
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Post by laughter on May 1, 2012 15:07:45 GMT -5
I remember walking around a certain part of London that i knew very well, and my mind was just dead... silent... totally blank.. I was scared nutsless. ... Still to this day, I yearn for some kind of release from what I'm feeling. I can't feel emotions fully, everything has the taste of detachment, and I hate this! I want to be attached! I want to feel again! I even went to get an MRI scan to check there wasn't something wrong with my brain as I can't feel my emotions properly and I feel totally numb in my body. You say you can't feel but you say that you hate your current state and "yearn" for something different. You say that your mind was empty but that you were scared. Do you see a contradiction? So you did the inquiry just that one time? Now this is going to sound glib and for that I'm sorry, you sound like you're in pain ... but it sounds like you found that sufferer after all. |
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Post by midnight on May 1, 2012 15:13:13 GMT -5
No I'd been doing it alot. I'd dedicate probably an hour every day to it. Just trying to follow instructions of various people on forums and Mooji etc. That inquiry was the only time however when I really looked, really focused and really investigated. I then had another experience a couple of months later where I tried a meditation that Adyashanti was talking about, 'letting everything be as it is'. I went so far 'in' so to speak that I completely forgot what was going on and I was pretty much in a void, experientially atleast. I didn't know wtf was going on and at that point I decided I wanted nothing more to do with spirituality as it had flipped my perception of life and myself upside down, but by then it was too late.  Tbh, all of this is probably caused by anxiety, but I don't know how to remedy that. If the natural reaction of the mind is to go into shock at seeing the lack of a seperate self, well then I suppose it's going to stay in that shock state. I act as if I can feel, but inside there's nothing, just a big apathetic nothingness. Cheers for the replies. |
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Post by silence on May 1, 2012 20:06:24 GMT -5
Tbh, all of this is probably caused by anxiety, but I don't know how to remedy that. Which causes more anxiety... First be clear if you even know for sure if whatever you're calling anxiety needs to be remedied in the first place. Which isn't to ask whether you like it or not but to really examine whether there's such a thing as a feeling that's a mistake or shouldn't be there. |
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Post by midnight on May 2, 2012 8:40:07 GMT -5
Well I think it does! Yes it's being treated as something which shouldn't be there because I don't want it to be there, it's severely limiting my life. My thought process has practically disappeared, I hate it. How can I accept something so completely opressive?
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Post by zendancer on May 2, 2012 9:26:54 GMT -5
Well I think it does! Yes it's being treated as something which shouldn't be there because I don't want it to be there, it's severely limiting my life. My thought process has practically disappeared, I hate it. How can I accept something so completely opressive? Because of this thread, I re-read "Collision with the Infinite" yesterday, and it remains one of the most remarkable books I have ever read. That was probably my tenth or twelth read of the book, and I am always amazed at the fluidity and clarity of Segal's writing. The similarity between what Midnight has described and what happened to Segal is astonishing. She even writes about how her cognitive filters collapsed which made it extremely uncomfortable to be around groups of people (too much input). Although it took her many years of useless therapy before she encountered people who understood what had happened to her and made suggestions about what to do, her book offers a great deal of hope to anyone experiencing what Midnight described in his initial posting. Silence and Laughter are right on target with their questions, but they are looking at the situation from a radically different POV than Midnight. Hopefully, Segal's book will offer Midnight some much-needed insights into what happens when one plunges into the void all-at-once as compared to a more gradual descent made up of smaller discontinuous jumps. Although Segal suffered through more than a decade of no-self-generated fear, eventually she came to terms with the fact that Vastness is the underlying truth, and came to appreciate that she was the Vastness. |
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Post by midnight on May 2, 2012 11:03:26 GMT -5
Well I think it does! Yes it's being treated as something which shouldn't be there because I don't want it to be there, it's severely limiting my life. My thought process has practically disappeared, I hate it. How can I accept something so completely opressive? Because of this thread, I re-read "Collision with the Infinite" yesterday, and it remains one of the most remarkable books I have ever read. That was probably my tenth or twelth read of the book, and I am always amazed at the fluidity and clarity of Segal's writing. The similarity between what Midnight has described and what happened to Segal is astonishing. She even writes about how her cognitive filters collapsed which made it extremely uncomfortable to be around groups of people (too much input). Although it took her many years of useless therapy before she encountered people who understood what had happened to her and made suggestions about what to do, her book offers a great deal of hope to anyone experiencing what Midnight described in his initial posting. Silence and Laughter are right on target with their questions, but they are looking at the situation from a radically different POV than Midnight. Hopefully, Segal's book will offer Midnight some much-needed insights into what happens when one plunges into the void all-at-once as compared to a more gradual descent made up of smaller discontinuous jumps. Although Segal suffered through more than a decade of no-self-generated fear, eventually she came to terms with the fact that Vastness is the underlying truth, and came to appreciate that she was the Vastness. Suzanne Segals experience seems a bit more intense than mine. She was so disconnected from her body that she felt 'she' was behind it, looking at it. I don't have dissociation to that extent. I still feel like 'me' at times. I'm just surprised that I don't see anyone else talking about this stuff. None of you have been or are going through this?! I'm amazed that more people haven't reported feelings of dissocation through meditation or self-inquiry to be honest... I guess you guys did it correctly and I didn't.  By the way zendancer I just ordered her book. |
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