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Post by loverofall on Dec 2, 2010 20:06:27 GMT -5
Who went looking for the ego?
You split the ego into two.
Now watch that ego undo the ego. Who is watching that?
Another part of your ego?
Explain to yourself who you are without words.
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Post by enigma on Dec 2, 2010 20:19:15 GMT -5
so I'm looking within right now, and it is obvious there is nothing here that I can pinpoint as being "me." There's nothing here that I can look at and say "oh yeah, that's me, teetown." this is very apparent. The gravity of this really hit me yesterday. There's really nothing there. Yet when I shift attention to something else, end the meditation, there's still this...assumption that I MUST be here. It almost feels like the subconscious reassuring me. "no don't worry, you exist. Just because you couldn't find yourself doesn't mean you don't exist." Where does this come from? I always read about how the self, ego, whatever is an illusion, not real, and so for the longest I would go within and search for this "thing" so I could dispell it. I could never find it. I was looking for "my ego" like it was an object in my consciousness. But there's really no thing there; no object. There's no such thing as an ego, there's no me. So what the hell? I don't know where to go from here. Any insights are appreciated. That's interesting, actually. You went on a hunt for ego so that you could destroy it, and you couldn't find it. Hehe. So much for that problem. Yeah, it's true there's nothing there but the thought that there's something there, and around this thought has been built a complex structure of beliefs, opinions, personal accomplishments and failures and on and on. None of this happened to a person, it happened to an idea you had about a person. So what is this you that had the idea? Obviously, (I hope) you know you exist, you used to believe it was a mind/body or some such, but now you don't know. That's a good place to be. I don't know where you need to go from there, I can only guess. A realization that I found very helpful was that, if you can see it, it's appearing to you, and so you cannot be what sees it. All objects, including 'mind objects', that appear to you are 'in front' of you, and you are 'behind' them. You are the seer of them, the subject, and so you cannot be the seen, the object.
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iris
New Member
Posts: 31
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Post by iris on Dec 2, 2010 20:27:18 GMT -5
so I'm looking within right now, and it is obvious there is nothing here that I can pinpoint as being "me." There's nothing here that I can look at and say "oh yeah, that's me, teetown." this is very apparent. The gravity of this really hit me yesterday. There's really nothing there. Exactly. Yet when I shift attention to something else, end the meditation, there's still this...assumption that I MUST be here. Realize that it's just the mind. That's it. The mind is active. It's not actually you thinking. Just thinking itself. Thinking happens, and that's always been the truth of the matter. There's no such thing as an ego, there's no me. So what the hell? I don't know where to go from here.. How would would the mind come to assume such a thing? Figure that out.
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Post by m on Dec 3, 2010 2:54:03 GMT -5
Let me rephrase my question: being done with the "assumption of self", dropping all mind games, what is there that can never be an object? m
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Post by enigma on Dec 3, 2010 3:27:45 GMT -5
You!
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Post by zendancer on Dec 3, 2010 3:28:42 GMT -5
so I'm looking within right now, and it is obvious there is nothing here that I can pinpoint as being "me." There's nothing here that I can look at and say "oh yeah, that's me, teetown." this is very apparent. The gravity of this really hit me yesterday. There's really nothing there. Yet when I shift attention to something else, end the meditation, there's still this...assumption that I MUST be here. It almost feels like the subconscious reassuring me. "no don't worry, you exist. Just because you couldn't find yourself doesn't mean you don't exist." Where does this come from? I always read about how the self, ego, whatever is an illusion, not real, and so for the longest I would go within and search for this "thing" so I could dispell it. I could never find it. I was looking for "my ego" like it was an object in my consciousness. But there's really no thing there; no object. There's no such thing as an ego, there's no me. So what the hell? I don't know where to go from here. Any insights are appreciated. The realization that you don't know where to go from here is wonderful. What is it that wants to go somewhere and where is it now? What if there is nowhere to go and no one who CAN go anywhere? What if there is no one at all? Look around. How could THIS go anywhere? Simply keep looking and questioning in silence. The mind is helpless because it no longers knows what to do. Fabulous! Stay right where you are, psychologically, and keep the question. Something unknown is on the edge of a discovery.
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lexi
Junior Member
Posts: 79
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Post by lexi on Dec 3, 2010 10:57:13 GMT -5
Well, yeah, at least until mine starts to sink, then I'm tossing you in the pond and taking yours. Hehe. DREAMER!
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lexi
Junior Member
Posts: 79
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Post by lexi on Dec 3, 2010 11:01:06 GMT -5
Thank you.
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Post by therealfake on Dec 12, 2010 13:11:11 GMT -5
Enigma is correct, there is the "awareness" of even that very subtle feeling of "I AM". It is observable. So who are "you" that witnesses that feeling of "I AM"? You must be there "before" the very first sensation, thought, realization, belief or light manifests. Sit quietly, go to that place of "no thought" which is present here and now. Watch as thoughts, sensations, sounds and feelings simply arise. Don't imagine what it is like, don't judge anything, don't even allow, don't do anything. You are simply here in this moment. Now, who or what are you right now? If you can answer that question and convey it to the rest of us, you will be the first human being to do it. Jesus couldn't do it, neither could Buddha. That is the point at which all who study self inquiry will eventually have to reconcile. You cannot know, but can you be supremely happy in that not knowing or will you be frustrated and continue the search?
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Post by enigma on Dec 12, 2010 14:29:19 GMT -5
Yes.
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