Q: You've asked about the realization thing repeatedly, so let me throw a few thoughts out there based on my own experiences and the experiences of hundreds of other people about whom I've read.
It seems to me that people pursue the non-duality path for several reasons. The primary motivator seems to be suffering and despair. Others hear about "enlightenment" and think that it will give them eternal bliss and happeniness. Still others (including moi) hit the path due to intellectual curiosity.
If we look at the big picture, there seems to be one common denominator to everyone who eventually attains Self-realization. With Self-realization seeking comes to an end, AND there is freedom FROM the mind. The mind remains fully functional and is informed by Self-realization, but the mind is no longer dominant. Many people stop seeking because they don't find anything, or because their interest simply shifts in another direction, but for people who become Self-realized (ignoring the few people who are "struck my lightning" out of the blue) the one common denominator is that they persistently spent time shifting attention away from thoughts.
Psalms 46:10 states: "Be still and know that I am God." This is a great injunction, but virtually no adult can follow it. The Buddha supposedly stated somewhere that if a person could remain totally silent for one week, s/he would find the Absolute. That may be true, but most people require some sort of temporary crutch to help them attain a degree of mental silence.
The Zen student sits on a mat for hours, or months, or years shifting attention away from thoughts to the breath or pure non-conceptual awareness (shikan taza).
The Indian devotee spends hours, months, or years shifting attention away from thoughts to "Ram, Ram, Ram," other names of God, or "Om, Om, Om."
Tess Hughes didn't like sitting meditation so she developed her own methodology of questioning the Will of God. She began to look at everything that her body did while asking, "Is this the Will of God or my will?" She also looked at "outside" events and asked, "Is that the Will of God?" This questioning and looking took her attention away from thoughts, and she eventually realized what was going on and who she IS.
Tibetan Buddhists use mantras, meditation, and visualizations.
This body/mind used all kinds of meditation, but eventually settled on ATA for reasons I've already explained in the past.
Someone I know who never liked formal meditation recently said, "My mind is a mess, and the only thing that I can shift attention to is universal sound. For that person universal sound may be her ticket to freedom.
Some people have used physical practices like Tai Chi in the same way. They simply watch what the body is doing, or feel what the body is doing, rather than watching endless strings of thoughts.
The bottom line seems to be that shifting attention away from thoughts to "what is" allows "what is" to be seen more and more clearly as it is. This attentiveness causes internal shifts in understanding that we call "realization." We are simply seeing "what is" as it is rather than our thoughts about it. As we do this, mind becomes more and more deeply informed by what is seen.
What appears to happen as a result of focusing attention upon "what is" rather than thoughts ABOUT "what is" is that it gets people out of their heads and reconnects them, psychologically, and bodily, with "what is." It is like shifting from head-knowing to body-knowing and the body/mind's innate intelligence eventually burns through cognitive illusions because thoughts are no longer keeping attention distracted.
Zen sometimes uses the "Zen Circle" to describe the path. Zero degrees is where adults start. I'm a good example of someone who spent 20 years at zero degrees because that's how long I spent thinking, reading, and trying to intellectually figure out what's going on. Ha ha. I didn't even set foot on the path until I began shifting attention away from thoughts. Only then did it become obvious that I had been living totally in my head for decades. The advantage of this forum and other similar forums is that folks can read about ignorant people like myself and learn that thinking leads away from the truth rather than toward it.
This is something that each person has to verify for him/herself, so it is like doing a scientific experiment on one's own consciousness. I always tell people to trust themselves 100%, but to use common sense, and look where all of the non-duality books and teachers are pointing.
You don't have to take anyone's word for any of this, but keep an open mind and look where these words are pointing.