fear
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Posts: 128
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Post by fear on Apr 23, 2009 19:01:02 GMT -5
In my 31 years of life I have always thought that I knew what I wanted. Money, cars, women, respect and the list goes on. But I realize that these wants are what other people have wanted for me. My parents wanted me to be successful, marry a great woman and have lots of cute kids. These expectations of me moulded my wants so that I could be accepted and be filled with good feelings because I was a success in people's eyes.
With the discovery that most of what I thought was true and real was actually just my beliefs and not truth at all, I found myself lost, not knowing what direction would bring me happiness or at least contentment.
So what do I want? This is a much tougher question than I ever realized. I was offered enlightenment and ran away like a scared chicken, so I obviously don't want to be enlightened, not right now at least, maybe tomorrow, but not today and you know what they say about tomorrow, it never comes.
I know that I'm not fulfilled living this life but yet I continue to live it. I drag myself into work and I have a big smile on my face when payday arrives, when the money is gone, the smile goes with it. So what do I really want? If I'm honest with myself, I'm just playing with life, not committing to anything, just helping myself to a little of this and a little of that. A little suffering to make me feel like I'm getting somewhere and a little comfort to make it bearable.
So what do you want?
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Post by Peter on Apr 24, 2009 4:04:44 GMT -5
Excellent question, Fear. I've no idea. Material values are empty (although I am quite fond of my flat screen monitor Epicurus had a similar soft spot for cheese apparently). About the only thing I really want just now is to 'be a good Dad'. Right this minute, what I want is for that quy to stop spamming this message board with hyperlinks!
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Post by souley on Apr 29, 2009 13:24:27 GMT -5
I have no clue what souley wants anymore, except for the small everyday things like, "I want to go out into the sun", "I want a beer", etc. The big "complete me by making my life great"-wanting, has been seen through. And that is kind of weird.. I am very used to wanting something.
But I also think that we really have no control over it.. I don't know why I want to know enlightenment, everything I do just seems to drive me in that direction.
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fear
Full Member
Posts: 128
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Post by fear on Apr 30, 2009 1:07:09 GMT -5
Are you sure you don't know what souley wants? What wakes you up in the morning? why do you reach for a beer and not water? both would quench your thirst, what craves the taste for beer or crave the high that beer would give you.
At least that's how I am. If I have a beer, I end up having a lot more than one. So it's the alcohol high that I crave, even though I drink about once, twice a week, it feels good to drink. So that is a want. You just have to be honest with yourself abou it.
Buy hey you may not have any wants so why doesn't your being just wake up, what's it missing? must be something. maybe you just won't allow it to happen. what's blocking you?
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Post by souley on Apr 30, 2009 5:15:30 GMT -5
You have a good point that there probably is something causing me to want to have a beer etc. I'm not claiming to be perfect in any way:) By having no real wants, I am comparing to normal culture. I probably want to get to know life and existence more then anything else. But I can't relate to the "normal" wanting, that is heavily invested with my sense of self.
"I want to complete me by: A: having alot of money, B: getting promoted, C: finding the love of my life/etc". All those are in relation to trying to build up my sense of self, which is hopeless.
About waking up because of having no wants, I don't think it works that way. I think the wakeup is much more physical or so to speak. It is a process that happens to your whole being. It really changes the way you exist, and the way existing feels. As you get more awake, you will have less wanting, not the other way around.
As for allowing it, it is really hard. If I was more or less ready to die and had totally given up on everything, I might be able to let go in some way. But even then I doubt that is the case, it is simply a process. But it is probably sped up by being open to it and allowing it as much as possible.
Some teachers seem to think that if you just realize that "everything is just a concept" or "just let go" etc, that it would get you enlightened somehow. Or at least that is how their message can be interpreted. I do not think that is the way it works at all. Any such realization or "letting go", is probably well prepared for by some unconscious process, and that was the real cause, just that they did not realize it.
But these are things that LM would know alot better:)
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Post by Light2Light on May 27, 2009 16:19:21 GMT -5
Constant Joy - and unlimited discovery of the unfolding layers of Self
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Post by mysticalstarlenz on Jun 5, 2009 17:43:25 GMT -5
I have everything I want. Food, Clothes, Shelter, Computer. Beyond that is desire and we all know the cause of suffering
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Post by lightmystic on Jun 6, 2009 18:34:03 GMT -5
It's a good point, and it's wonderful that you have everything you want. I kind of feel that way too, so I appreciate what you're saying. I also just want to throw out the idea on the table that what we want/need can be any number of things, not necessarily the bare necessities for survival. I find that we always have what we need, and what we need varies. There are times in my life when I really needed a computer. And those times I had one. When it was no longer appropriate for me to have a computer, it was gone. And then there was another one when it was appropriate again. So, need can apply to any number of things, depending on what is best for the growth of the person. At least, that's my experience... I have everything I want. Food, Clothes, Shelter, Computer. Beyond that is desire and we all know the cause of suffering
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Post by anotherson on Jun 9, 2009 16:01:50 GMT -5
I find my only want when asked the question today is that everyone Awaken to what IS; Their True Self. Beyond that I live like Fear. The needfuls which includes beer for grounding. If I don't ground I'm reasonably certain I will disolve into Light which, ultimately, sounds wonderful but I have this nagging to help others realize their potential.
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Post by Peter on Jun 10, 2009 4:49:26 GMT -5
I find swimming and walking barefoot to be great for grounding and also avoids the awake-at-4am sugar rush that comes from drinking beer in the evening. How's your caffeine intake?
Have you thought about what you're going to do to help everyone Awaken to What IS? There's already a lot of material out there - 50% of which contradicts the other 50%!
Also, are you working at the moment? I found my energy levels dropped dramatically when I was back into full time employment - to the point where I need to be quite strategic about what I prioritise.
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Post by lightmystic on Jun 10, 2009 10:04:38 GMT -5
I relate exactly to what you're saying. What I found, however, was that any desire for someone else to get something came from me projecting my fear of smallness onto others. The unconscious rationale was something like "If I make them Enlightened, then I won't have to deal with smallness." What I discovered, however, was that the smallness IS that same thing, and so the need to change others vanished. And it's not that there's not compassion for others or desire to see others grow and do well. It's actually quite the opposite, as nothing is more wonderful than that. It's only that it's coming now more from a place of contentment with their situation, good or bad, and that has actually led to more effectiveness in ability to help, because the separation of need to change has been removed. So, in my humble opinion, I would let yourself dissolve into pure light - just don't be surprised if there's a backlash, as it's pretty intense grounding this stuff. And if it's not grounded, not normal on some level (no matter how amazing it is), then it's simply not going to stay over time... Does that make sense? I find my only want when asked the question today is that everyone Awaken to what IS; Their True Self. Beyond that I live like Fear. The needfuls which includes beer for grounding. If I don't ground I'm reasonably certain I will disolve into Light which, ultimately, sounds wonderful but I have this nagging to help others realize their potential.
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Post by anotherson on Jun 10, 2009 17:39:53 GMT -5
Thanks Peter and lightmystic.
Interesting that my desire or fear projection manifests as compassion. I am indeed out of alignment with the Tao if that is the case.
I haven't gotten back on the merry-go-round yet. My frequency is such that I literally lock up when updating my resume. .Net development seems so trite. Like Dr. Hawkins did for seven years I have done for ten months. Drinking from every cup of literature, information, religious teachings, etc. I recommend going to Google videos and watching "Kymatica" if you haven't already. It's a big I KNOW validator.
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Post by lightmystic on Jun 11, 2009 10:35:57 GMT -5
Hey anotherson, Obviously, you are doing what is right for you, and I'm not meaning to imply anything about your experience. It's just as possible that you are coming from a place of open compassion - I'm just bringing up the difference... Compassion, for me, wells up as an appreciation of others and natural desire for them to do well, but there is no sadness, no lack, no feeling of need to change them...it's just an appreciation that makes me want to give them whatever they need. What I had thought was compassion before was simply feeling bad for people, and it's only on that level that it's a projection. It's really simply looking to see whether what is being called compassion makes you feel better or worse, more open or more closed, more free or more confined. In my experience, real compassion does not hurt. If there is a pinch at all, then it's projection. Anyway, that's simply my experience, and I'm not implying that you're compassion ISN'T coming from place of openness. I'm just bringing it up. After all, how can we get deeper into our experience if we don't POKE it!? I haven't had a chance to look at the link yet, but I'm sure it will be interesting. I will check it out when I can.... Thanks Peter and lightmystic. Interesting that my desire or fear projection manifests as compassion. I am indeed out of alignment with the Tao if that is the case. I haven't gotten back on the merry-go-round yet. My frequency is such that I literally lock up when updating my resume. .Net development seems so trite. Like Dr. Hawkins did for seven years I have done for ten months. Drinking from every cup of literature, information, religious teachings, etc. I recommend going to Google videos and watching "Kymatica" if you haven't already. It's a big I KNOW validator.
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Post by souley on Jun 12, 2009 15:32:20 GMT -5
Thanks Peter and lightmystic. Interesting that my desire or fear projection manifests as compassion. I am indeed out of alignment with the Tao if that is the case. I haven't gotten back on the merry-go-round yet. My frequency is such that I literally lock up when updating my resume. .Net development seems so trite. Like Dr. Hawkins did for seven years I have done for ten months. Drinking from every cup of literature, information, religious teachings, etc. I recommend going to Google videos and watching "Kymatica" if you haven't already. It's a big I KNOW validator. I find it hilarious that you are an awakened .NET developer:D Computer science is my line of business as well. I don't know what will happen to that as I become more aware, time will tell! I appreciated the Kymatica movie, hopefully it will open a few eyes, it was brutally honest. Too bad they have to use the "creepy freelance internet documentary"-style, seems to me perhaps unnecessarily limiting.
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Post by candacechil on Jun 17, 2009 17:39:17 GMT -5
What do you mean you were "offered" enlightenment? I get the running like a scared chicken part....
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