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Post by popee2 on Oct 25, 2011 12:29:12 GMT -5
But two things hinder me from talking about spirituality; for one I'm introverted, and don't like being an object of attention, and two, I'm not comfortable giving advice. I am not qualified, words often fail me, and I'm afraid saying something incorrectly would likely do more harm than good.
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tomas
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Post by tomas on Oct 25, 2011 20:04:10 GMT -5
popee2, what's behind these aspects of your process:
" I'm introverted, and don't like being an object of attention, and two, I'm not comfortable giving advice. I am not qualified, words often fail me, and I'm afraid saying something incorrectly would likely do more harm than good. "
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Post by popee2 on Oct 26, 2011 8:31:38 GMT -5
It's a beautiful thing ... when something you once held dear loses its luster.
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tomas
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Post by tomas on Oct 26, 2011 10:43:40 GMT -5
popee2, my comments on your last post:
- I'm curious what's underneath these aspects of your personality: you don't like being stared at, judging or being judged, little interest in people, dislike asking for help. These are not aspects of your true nature, but of your personality, usually formed as a defense against our caregivers, from age 0-4 or so. It can help to release the bounds of our personality, but understanding its origins.
- I'll give you an example: my attraction to men. Although raised in a pretty normal family, my mother was cold and distant, and I spent alot of time in the crib. It set in motion a pattern of relentlessly searching for love outside of myself, with the quirk of finding guys who'd love me enough to give me a blowjob... often facilitated thru Craigslist. I've been reading Rose's book "Meditation", where he relates how sex can preoccupy us. The point is most of our personality quirks have their imprint in our earliest years, although Rose (and Jung) allude to "racial memory" in our genes.
- re: your comment "Talking about spirituality is just plain weird. Its like everybody is just regurgitating what someone else has said, myself included. Unless, of course, that person has Awakened, which I surely have not, and I don't like that much either" - I'd ask you whether you have not had some subtle awakenings, and what's underneath your desire for a BIG AWAKENING, which may nor may not happen? What if you're already awake, you're just resistant to it?
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tomas
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Post by tomas on Oct 27, 2011 10:00:53 GMT -5
popee2 your post disappeared again what's that about?
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Post by popee2 on Oct 27, 2011 10:13:33 GMT -5
In the grand scheme of things, of what importance is my biography?
Delete/modify/leave as is ... of what consequence are they?
I've not written one thing which needs to be framed.
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"I'm introverted, and don't like being an object of attention"
Not exactly, no. Not worried about your eyes, but mine.
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Beating yourself up .... the stupidest fuucking thing ever
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tomas
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Post by tomas on Oct 27, 2011 18:35:15 GMT -5
popee2 I'm curious, that's twice in a row, you made posts, then disappeared them. What would cause you to make a fine post, then to remove it?
Did it have anything to do with your statement " I'm introverted, and don't like being an object of attention"?
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Post by popee2 on Nov 1, 2011 19:31:54 GMT -5
The spiritual pursuit is the hardest one there is, unbearably hard at times.
Calculus was hard, but true or false was easily defined. That is not so with this endeavor. I can talk about math or finance with ease, but none of "this talk" comes easy to me. I have been at this for years, and even after thousands of sentences, I've not yet written even one I'm satisfied with.
But that's ok. I'm done beating myself up about it. (Working on it anyway), what else is there?
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Post by acewall on Nov 1, 2011 19:39:15 GMT -5
The spiritual pursuit is the hardest one there is, unbearably hard at times. Calculus was hard, but true or false was easily defined. That is not so with this endeavor. I can talk about math or finance with ease, but none of "this talk" comes easy to me. I have been at this for years, and even after thousands of sentences, I've not yet written even one I'm satisfied with. But that's ok. I'm done beating myself up about it. (Working on it anyway), what else is there? being written yourself? I never understood or went far in maths, hardly educated at all. suppose youve already noticed.lol simplicity is beautiful. Mind is always mental. Being written ourself is like Being.
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Post by popee2 on Nov 1, 2011 20:05:49 GMT -5
yeah, its complicated lol
simple better perfection bestest
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tomas
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Post by tomas on Nov 1, 2011 20:48:31 GMT -5
popee, could you answer the question: I deleted two of my posts because ___________________
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Post by popee2 on Nov 2, 2011 7:47:08 GMT -5
tomas - I didn't ignore your question last time, I modified posts 32 & 35, in my (poor) effort at trying to answer.
Your persistence is charming, but I don't think I can give you an adequate answer, or at least it would take a whole bunch of words to do so. Are you really all that interested in my situation?
I'm pretty honest most of the time, and I'm not feeling trapped by many closely guarded secrets. In fact, finding, and exposing, those secrets is the nature of my spiritual "work". I'm not very skilled at talking about it though.
But the short answer to your question is: I deleted my posts because its a bad habit I have acquired in the past few months. Sorry you got caught up in it.
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tomas
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Post by tomas on Nov 24, 2011 13:14:18 GMT -5
I've been reading "The Sex Connection", which is about Richard Rose's take on sex. I've been particularly drawn to Rose's attitudes toward homosexuality, because it's something I've struggled with my entire life. I've gone back and forth from straight to gay, and most times thought of myself as bisexual.
Rose believed in "a particular species of mental-thought form, or sex bug entity, which is attracted by the homosexual act and attaches to the individual who indulges in the aberrant sex for the purpose of providing neural energy for the entity to feed upon". I don't like Rose's reference to a sex bug, but it does seem like a virus that can infect you. In the book, the author Fitzpatrick notes all of the health risks associated with gay sex. He alludes to a gay "reverie" (an addicting daydream) that develops where one becomes preoccupied with gay sex. He denies the possibility of bisexuality, saying that bisexuals are basically gay people trying to conform to heterosexuality.
Elsewhere, in Kent's book on Rose, three categories are identified which keep us from isolating the true I : states of mind, moods, and subliminal states of consciousness. I think that the gay reverie is a subliminal state of consciousness, admittedly very difficult to change, especially in todays world, where most therapy is gay affirmative.
I don't like it that Fitzpatrick implies homosexuality (and the sex bug) to be fatalistic, illusory, and damning, as if there's no way back. More likely, I believe, is that early childhood experiences result in a gay personality. The literature (including Freud) is full of case studies showing a high incidence of distant fathers and overly close mothers with gay sons. The reparative theory is that the gay man searches for the love he didn't get from his father, in other men, and ultimately their genitals. Interestingly, Fitzpatrick refers to proesses like Reparative Therapy that enable a person to change from gay to straight (obviously un-pc).
I believe homosexuality and bisexuality are layers similar to alcoholism, drug use, work alcoholism, spiritual materialism, spiritual illusions, etc, that obscure the true I. It's been a help for me to be celibate, it dampens the same sex drive. I welcome any feedback, as this has been a lifelong struggle that I hope to resolve (I'm not gay, I'm not straight, what am I?).
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tomas
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Post by tomas on Nov 24, 2011 16:16:39 GMT -5
ok, I'm going to answer my own post. My whole life, I've looked without success for someone who could explain/resolve the gay/straight quandary I've experienced.
On reflection, I've sensed that Truth calls each of us to our own answers, which cannot be found in any book, or from any Teacher... only within. That search, for the answers within, is what seeking is all about.
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tomas
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Post by tomas on Nov 25, 2011 14:25:55 GMT -5
channeling the spirit of Mr Rose, he said you're either female or male, not two spirited.
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