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Post by dreamerrach on Apr 11, 2011 8:46:53 GMT -5
Ya know I used to think I was really smart.
But I read stuff on here, and it seems my mind glazes over. Half the time I'm just thinking: Wtf? I think I'm missing something.
I'm impatient for a change, something new. I can almost feel it coming, too--but it makes me nervous that I don't know what form this "change" will take.
Anyone else made sudden sweeping changes in their lives? Please elaborate.
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Post by souley on Apr 11, 2011 9:56:24 GMT -5
Well for outer change I quit my job a few months back, to just sit at home and do nothing. I had this great urge to just be. I couldn't stand stressing about 24/7 when I could economically handle something like half a year off. Still getting used to being useless Basically I resisted this move for a good while, I didn't feel I had a good enough excuse to do nothing. When I finally did it, told my boss that I quit just to sit at home and do nothing, it was a bit like jumping out a plane. Seems there was quite a bit of fear and a work-identity in that resistance. Its fun to mix it up!
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Post by charliegee on Apr 11, 2011 11:53:13 GMT -5
seems my changes were made for me but they did transform my life ... a little over two years ago my wife died after a two year battle with Ovarian cancer ... the experience wiped me out but, in the aftermath, I was delivered from a lifetime of drug addiction ... to my feeble mind, it was God using my wife as impetus for a drastic change for me ... not that it happened for that express purpose but as a result nonetheless ... I know you don't hear a lot of people using the term God on this forum and I'm no holy roller but find it difficult to have a sense of gratitude and not know who to direct it to ...
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Post by ivory on Apr 11, 2011 15:59:59 GMT -5
@dreamer I can relate. I thought I knew it all too until I found this board. Quite humbling. Curious what you mean by change.. Life change or spiritual change? When your mind glazes over, if it's the intellectual stuff, don't worry about it. It's more about observing and understanding than it is intellectualizing. souley I quit my job too to pursue truth. I wasn't getting any work done because all I did was think and read about this stuff. And yes, it was exactly like jumping out of a plane. I was so frickin' nervous. But it was well worth it. Can't imagine having a job when things got rough.
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Post by someNOTHING! on Apr 11, 2011 20:10:44 GMT -5
Yah, things get a little fuzzy as you go down the rabbit hole, searching around with the mind. There are memories of thinking/feeling all the reading, thinking, contemplating and whatnot stretching the mind out enough, first to let some light in the the closed narow "understanding" of consensual reality (like a constant state of adjustment), and then as things continued to stretch, there eventually was the <snap!>. Perhaps, this is similar to how insanity plays out, but the clarity that dawned was quite unlike anything experienced before, except for say the childlike innocence. Like Souley has stated in a previous post, the experiences leading up to such an event may/may not make any sense at all to 'you', but there is an impetus that is not necessarily "yours". In a way, either you have this particular Desire to see Truth, or feel compelled to bring it more and more into awareness (giving rise to the Desire), or you don't. It's All Good. But true, the unknowing can make you feel, truly FEEL, that unease---but it's not a "disease", hehe. I think I've heard/read that one should take care of anything they want to do in this life prior to beginning the search, and then give oneself to it. My story was much different, so I can not say....I was closer to the "getting into it, stumbling/collapsing, asking earnestly for whatever the universe needed to give me, stumbling/collapsing, realizing more and more as I read and contemplated there was something that made 'sense' between the lines, fearlessly stating my idiotic claims, acting somewhat unabashed, and continuously heading off toward madness (other people's claims)---or whatever (my claim)" gig. But that's not necessarily something I can wholeheartedly condone..hehe. But, yes, my story did require more or less a walking off and away from mainstream society and into (what a friend of mine called) a completely different book. 17 years in Asia, and this body is still wandering around in wonder at the Beauty of It All. BTW, ZD recently did a very nice synopsis of the Oxherding pics, and here's a developed rendition that I also enjoyed. Perhaps, it might give you some insights into your query. www.terebess.hu/english/oxherding.htmlThe great thing about such a board, is that it becomes a place you can come back to from time to time, and just throw a Q into the mix, get a little feedback, look at that feedback from various angles, and then make a move. Kind of like doing Taoist I-Ching, or something, but with thinking cyber-realities! haha You can think a bit, sit quietly and become aware of those feelings as they bubble up; perhaps, in that deeper chamber in the rabbit hole, you can become more in tune/harmony with the direction you wanna take. Rock on! Your every Q, thought, wahoo, failure is PERFECT! IT'S/YOU'RE HAPPENING.
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Post by Portto on Apr 11, 2011 20:27:53 GMT -5
I'm impatient for a change, something new. I can almost feel it coming, too--but it makes me nervous that I don't know what form this "change" will take. The "Kingdom of God" is everything you see/experience, not only the 'fancy' stuff. Big changes will come quite often - and you will remain basically the same.
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Post by someNOTHING! on Apr 12, 2011 9:16:02 GMT -5
Yah, the glazing over, thought about it and remembered some memories today on my bus commute.....there is nothing we can do, there is nothing we can not do. There is no answer to this problem...who can have a problem? There is only what IS, and You are THAT. If you don't like what IT IS (Existence as IT IS---not conceptually), you're resisting it, giving energy to, investing in, the belief/concept that there is a you to resist "something else"and can do something about what IS (as in, about that which is separate from you....i.e. the illusion --otherness & ID). Then, there is the tricky resistance of 'not resisting' (by some kinda choice, hehe----see it!) haha! THIS IS. Just great stuff...a-F'in-mazing!
Woweezowee.
OK, done with the g'night rant.
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Post by dreamerrach on Apr 12, 2011 12:33:01 GMT -5
All of the above change.
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Post by michaelsees on Apr 12, 2011 14:29:51 GMT -5
Excellent insight that sums it up perfectly Kat. As a matter of fact everything that has been written here is already in the past and always is as it comes from the mind which is never present. Michael
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Post by vacant on Apr 12, 2011 15:34:02 GMT -5
Dreamer, looking forward to a change is a funny kind of thing, well, the seeker’s pathology summed up I guess. Mind stuff and “the ten thousand things” change all the time whether you wish it or not, it’s their nature. Want another change? Would a wished change be an improvement or just another dance figure in the continuous movement? One can see all the choreography and cannot ignore that there is noticing of it all while dumping the interpreter/commentator (sorry I don’t find how to call this one but roughly speaking: the me). Then the relentless change of what is presented is surely plenty enough for anyone’s appetite. I’m ok with change and ok with no change, but I’m falling in love with a particular angle/perspective. Wouldn'd swear that wont change!
Charlie, in my experience gratitude is complete in itself without having to be directed at anyone or anything. Or maybe just at life, knowing the undeserved gift and shedding tears of thanks, for nothing really. And anyway I don’t believe you because your poetry shows you are well in touch with what I’m referring to.
SN, I always delight at your whacky angle, all the more because you’re so ON! (thank you) haha.
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Post by charliegee on Apr 12, 2011 16:21:04 GMT -5
yeah, that too ...
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Post by someNOTHING! on Apr 12, 2011 17:41:11 GMT -5
Excellent insight that sums it up perfectly Kat. As a matter of fact everything that has been written here is already in the past and always is as it comes from the mind which is never present. Michael >>Dream- Yes. What doesn't change then? Is that what you're looking for? Infinite potential? >>Michael- What is always Present? Does It carry on about "neo-advaitists"? >>V- It's a fun trojan horse thingy.
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Post by michaelsees on Apr 12, 2011 18:24:21 GMT -5
Excellent insight that sums it up perfectly Kat. As a matter of fact everything that has been written here is already in the past and always is as it comes from the mind which is never present. Michael >>Michael- What is always Present? Exactly Kevin What IS always present Next? Michael
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Post by someNOTHING! on Apr 12, 2011 19:36:56 GMT -5
>>M- What, do you think, is the best way to express What Is in words? What aspect of What Is, do you think, carries on about neo-advaitists?
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Post by michaelsees on Apr 12, 2011 19:43:26 GMT -5
>>M- What, do you think, is the best way to express What Is in words? What aspect of What Is, do you think, carries on about neo-advaitists? Well I could say I don't like BS and having people waste time on crap. I could say that but the real answer to your question is What Is is What is speaking now in this moment. IF you get into any kind of agenda questions you have already got into your mind and once more you have return to a seeker and your in the past not the present. Michael
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