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Post by laughter on May 5, 2018 14:46:16 GMT -5
Thanks for the perspective, sure, I see how minimally leading the reader into the action is in the spirit of the form. What I'd never give up about the last line is how it makes it clear where the perspective is from. I did make one change that I think flows it better "basement next door". Yes, I see how describing the place is a reliance on the conceptual. The great thing about 5-7-5 is that the form allows the poem to just write itself. It's like .. the form is the factory. These words just appear from notable moments. If I were to go off the pattern here the one choice I would have made is to drop the -ly from faintly. Hoping that the story gets less harsh for ya' in the coming months man. I noted the -ly in faintly being unneccessary too :-) The "story" is still unfolding. One of the things - of many - I learned/realized from a recent 5 day silent retreat with Adya is to embody fully, consciously, whatever is. In this case generally, a divorce and complete life change, and specifically, this past week, it meant actively participating in the selling/showing of our house. And why not? I know all the improvements, benefits and features better than any realtor, because I made them. This house is ready for TEOTWAWKI. :-) Ironically, that is a security Life has says time to live without too. :-) And I'm good with it. Anyway, it all went over well. After all the first week showings, we received 9 offers, more than half being over the asking price. :-) So, we'll see. Now, on to liquidating the personal property. Anyone need a John Deere tractor? :-) There's an existential lesson as to the fluidity and temporality of objects that we can learn from the efficiency of the cash economy! Thanks for the update. Glad you got the chance for the retreat.
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Post by justlikeyou on May 5, 2018 19:48:48 GMT -5
Glad you got the chance for the retreat. chance? I'd say perfectly timed grace. But that's me.
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Post by justlikeyou on May 5, 2018 19:49:50 GMT -5
wiping her tears the black veil of night
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Post by glimmer on May 8, 2018 4:49:49 GMT -5
walk the firmament until you lose questions many steps ahead
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Post by justlikeyou on May 31, 2018 7:03:28 GMT -5
swaying my opinion the tall pines brush the clouds
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Post by justlikeyou on Jun 19, 2018 10:19:15 GMT -5
Haiga is the juxaposition of haiku and image, traditionally painted, but now can be paired with almost any medium. stormy weather the Shelter within
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Post by laughter on Jun 19, 2018 12:16:40 GMT -5
Haiga is the juxapostion of haiku and image, traditionally painted, but now can be paired with almost any medium. stormy weather the Shelter within
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Post by Reefs on Jun 28, 2018 10:25:41 GMT -5
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Post by laughter on Jun 28, 2018 13:04:40 GMT -5
( human generated) cartoon memories hamsters! hamsters! everywhere! megathreads galore
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Post by zin on Jun 28, 2018 15:08:57 GMT -5
.. I must've done something wrong! (besides it changed my words!):
"Moving lunation A ready, shiny pen calls enjoying the shoes"
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Post by laughter on Jun 28, 2018 16:33:56 GMT -5
.. I must've done something wrong! (besides it changed my words!): "Moving lunation A ready, shiny pen calls enjoying the shoes" kant stop laughing here mechanical perfection please send help right now!
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Post by zin on Jun 28, 2018 17:48:46 GMT -5
.. I must've done something wrong! (besides it changed my words!): "Moving lunation A ready, shiny pen calls enjoying the shoes" kant stop laughing here mechanical perfection please send help right now! wait! you haven't seen all! (i am cloud22!)
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Post by Reefs on Jun 28, 2018 20:02:34 GMT -5
.. I must've done something wrong! (besides it changed my words!): "Moving lunation A ready, shiny pen calls enjoying the shoes" kant stop laughing here mechanical perfection please send help right now! And there's another haiku, hehe. Mechanical perfection is the right word here. It does have the surprise factor, but it's clearly missing something on the profound end of the equation. I guess that brings us back to our old AI discussions about what AI can do and cannot do.
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Post by Reefs on Jun 28, 2018 20:08:59 GMT -5
.. I must've done something wrong! (besides it changed my words!): "Moving lunation A ready, shiny pen calls enjoying the shoes" It puts your word suggestions into a strict 5-7-5 format. Words that don't fit will be changed.
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Post by laughter on Jun 29, 2018 10:21:46 GMT -5
kant stop laughing here mechanical perfection please send help right now! wait! you haven't seen all! (i am cloud22!) Yes, you and the generator definitely conspired to a masterpiece. The internet is like an irony machine this way, and it's nice to know that other peeps were as tickled by that as we were.
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