Post by jazz on Nov 16, 2010 12:57:44 GMT -5
Thank you charliegee, karen and peanut
There have been major inner changes since becoming sober. I used to have lots of social anxiety, it could be hard for me to sit and eat at a table (trembling). I was very scared that people evaluated me negatively and I always searched for validation. Alcohol was the super drug for me, it made everything disappear for a while.
Little did I know that what I needed was God. Since I became spiritual through the 12 steps it's been progress each day. I'm becoming healthier and healthier mentally, physically and of course spiritually. I'm not the same person I used to be. But it's very important for me to keep fit spiritually, so to speak, so I won't go back to old ways of thinking and acting.
Now that I'm meditating I'm also beginning to be much more aware. When I'm out walking, which I do alot, I just listen and am present and I love it! I don't have to think all the time!!! Aht a relief
I'm becoming even more calmer and I sense more love and compassion with people. I'm trying to be present all the time and the spaciousness is also increasing. So I think I'm on the right path but I'm also aware that my ego might be playing with me. To be honest I'm not ready to let the ego go just yet. I still want recognition as a musician (which I forgot to mention earlier), for example. I don't know, I'm just trusting that there's a process going on that's leading me down the right path. Being here is a part of that path.
There have been major inner changes since becoming sober. I used to have lots of social anxiety, it could be hard for me to sit and eat at a table (trembling). I was very scared that people evaluated me negatively and I always searched for validation. Alcohol was the super drug for me, it made everything disappear for a while.
Little did I know that what I needed was God. Since I became spiritual through the 12 steps it's been progress each day. I'm becoming healthier and healthier mentally, physically and of course spiritually. I'm not the same person I used to be. But it's very important for me to keep fit spiritually, so to speak, so I won't go back to old ways of thinking and acting.
Now that I'm meditating I'm also beginning to be much more aware. When I'm out walking, which I do alot, I just listen and am present and I love it! I don't have to think all the time!!! Aht a relief
I'm becoming even more calmer and I sense more love and compassion with people. I'm trying to be present all the time and the spaciousness is also increasing. So I think I'm on the right path but I'm also aware that my ego might be playing with me. To be honest I'm not ready to let the ego go just yet. I still want recognition as a musician (which I forgot to mention earlier), for example. I don't know, I'm just trusting that there's a process going on that's leading me down the right path. Being here is a part of that path.