Post by cabinintheforest on Sept 9, 2010 13:58:35 GMT -5
hi, cabin here. my real name is darryl. (dont think i ever posted that before)
i havnt posted on here in a few months. but what i wanted to come back here and say was. i finally get it.
i finally get what this forum is about and what all the posts are pointing to. i finally get what non duality is about.
im 20 years old and for the last 10 years i have just been living in my head of ideas and beliefs. i have spent very little time ever being present.
i must have a millions thoughts aday. i do not know a time i am not talking to myself. it drains all your energy after a while take you away from reality. takes you away from the present moment. takes you away from experiencing this amazing life.
i spend alot of time in nature, and very little of the time i am present. words, ideas, beliefs, thoughts just kept going round my mind. it takes you away from the beauty of nature. we just need to be silent for a few minutes and be present i know it is possible as a child i did it many times. It is harder for adults becuase we have had our minds filtered with so many different things, jobs, worries, beliefs, concepts, judgements, ideas etc. This has been mentioned on this forum 100s of times, so sorry if you think this is like a broken record going round and round.. but it is the first time i am saying it. so yes i have finally seen what everyone on this forum was pointing to. You were right.
i sunk into depression a few months ago becuase i couldnt stop thinking about the sins of the world and how bad some people are. there were just so many thoughts, ideas, fears, judgements going through my mind. none of it was present or has anything to do with reality.
iv wasted 1000s of ££ on books mostly philosophy which have nothing to do with being present, there just all ideas and beliefs in someones mind who THINKS what reality is like, not actually what reality IS. last night i read through alot of my posts i feel like punching myself the amount of garbage that i have typed is shocking none of it has any basis in reality its just all my ideas. even worse people kept telling me over and over that it is all just beliefs and ideas and i did not listen
iv been trapped in ideas for ages. lost in the mind. all the time that i was posting on this forum i wasn't actually listening to what people were saying. well i was listening but it was just going out the other end. i didn't understand. i thought my ideas and beliefs were reality that i knew everything. i am sorry for this.
What hit me the most was, about a month ago i went into a bookshop a read through a book by a man called joel Goldsmith and on one of the pages he said ' no theory or concept of God is God'
he is one of the paragraphs of the book
"There is nothing that you know about god that is god. there is no idea of God that you can entertain that is God. there is no possible thought that you can have about God that is God. it makes no differance what your idea may be or what your concept may be it remains an idea or a concept, and an idea or concept is not god. and so every student must eventually realize that he has to rise above all concepts of god before he can experience god".
the moment i read this it just hit me so hard. for the last 4 years i have just had ideas of God in my mind, thoughts about God, what i thought God is, i havnt experienced God. I would say i was much closer to God when i was a child then i am now.
My mind has taken me away from God, i know there is a bridge though to get away from all the concepts and ideas in the human mind and get into the NOW. (present, issness, God, THAT) whatever you want to call it.
The ideas, concepts and thoughts in the human mind gets in the way of being present and experiencing life.
About a week ago i was in my room and read over a really great book by a man called Consciousness Is All by Peter Dziuban when i first read some of his book i did not understand it i thought it was some metaphysical book about idealism, after re reading it , i seemed to of read it completley differently without any of my concepts of the book and i understood it alot more, in my opinion peter dziuban should be put on the spiritual teachers list. I sent him some emails and he replied me back here is some of the thing he said to me from his email. In one of my emails to him i asked him about Cosmic Consciousness experiences i used zendancer as an example as i know he has had a few of these experiences.
anyway here is some of his email to me. And i know it will be great help to people on this forum aswell. if you wish to email him just type his name on google and his website will come up.
heres the email:
----
"Lay off all thought, even the most sincere thought about God" because even the notion of "God" is a human thought or idea. Just BE. There's just Nowness, Present Aliveness, Pure Being, and It does not think, not even about God.
Don't try to stop or get rid of thinking.
Instead, just sit quietly and keep asking yourself two kinds questions:
How much does Awareness weigh right here, now? How much does Now, the Present weigh? Don't answer with a thought--just silently "get into" what that "weightlessness" feels like. Really "explore" it. Does it have a starting point somewhere? Is there a limited supply of this utter lightness? It may not feel like much at first, but soon it will be a gentle, ever-present Aliveness, an ease and freedom.
Notice that ANY time there's a feeling of heaviness or weight, it is a sensation, something felt emotionally, or the heaviness is attached to a thought about some situation. But pure Awareness Itself NEVER is heavy. It is so light it is indescribable. Don't make any effort to "lighten up" but just keep returning attention to this already-present lightness and ease. Try to make Awareness NOT be indescribably light. Impossible! Try to make the utter ease with which NOW is NOW, not be NOW. Also impossible. It may seem at first that you have keep "catching it" and returning attention to this unthinking light ease of Awareness. The more one "hangs out here" (which is what "You" really ARE anyway!) the more that thinking and a sense of weightiness seems to fade.
When this sense of weightiness/heaviness starts to fade, what's really fading is the "mind" and the sense of materiality and physicality, for they are the same. And as one continues as this Lightness, sometimes experiences like the guy described will seem to occur (the guy is zendancer and his one of his cosmic consciousness experiences). It's not that something new happens--this kind of Consciousness always is present--the change is because some of the superimposed material/mental sense of Darryl has "fallen off the windshield" and now there is clearer "seeing" or being. "
end of email.
-----
what are my final conclusions
i am going to spend more time in the present. Good luck with this forum. I will post back in a few months to let you know how it goes. i honestly feel as if some of my life has been wasted .
i agree with what zendancer said in a post. 10 minutes of being in the present is far more better than any book i have read or any idea in my mind.
i havnt posted on here in a few months. but what i wanted to come back here and say was. i finally get it.
i finally get what this forum is about and what all the posts are pointing to. i finally get what non duality is about.
im 20 years old and for the last 10 years i have just been living in my head of ideas and beliefs. i have spent very little time ever being present.
i must have a millions thoughts aday. i do not know a time i am not talking to myself. it drains all your energy after a while take you away from reality. takes you away from the present moment. takes you away from experiencing this amazing life.
i spend alot of time in nature, and very little of the time i am present. words, ideas, beliefs, thoughts just kept going round my mind. it takes you away from the beauty of nature. we just need to be silent for a few minutes and be present i know it is possible as a child i did it many times. It is harder for adults becuase we have had our minds filtered with so many different things, jobs, worries, beliefs, concepts, judgements, ideas etc. This has been mentioned on this forum 100s of times, so sorry if you think this is like a broken record going round and round.. but it is the first time i am saying it. so yes i have finally seen what everyone on this forum was pointing to. You were right.
i sunk into depression a few months ago becuase i couldnt stop thinking about the sins of the world and how bad some people are. there were just so many thoughts, ideas, fears, judgements going through my mind. none of it was present or has anything to do with reality.
iv wasted 1000s of ££ on books mostly philosophy which have nothing to do with being present, there just all ideas and beliefs in someones mind who THINKS what reality is like, not actually what reality IS. last night i read through alot of my posts i feel like punching myself the amount of garbage that i have typed is shocking none of it has any basis in reality its just all my ideas. even worse people kept telling me over and over that it is all just beliefs and ideas and i did not listen
iv been trapped in ideas for ages. lost in the mind. all the time that i was posting on this forum i wasn't actually listening to what people were saying. well i was listening but it was just going out the other end. i didn't understand. i thought my ideas and beliefs were reality that i knew everything. i am sorry for this.
What hit me the most was, about a month ago i went into a bookshop a read through a book by a man called joel Goldsmith and on one of the pages he said ' no theory or concept of God is God'
he is one of the paragraphs of the book
"There is nothing that you know about god that is god. there is no idea of God that you can entertain that is God. there is no possible thought that you can have about God that is God. it makes no differance what your idea may be or what your concept may be it remains an idea or a concept, and an idea or concept is not god. and so every student must eventually realize that he has to rise above all concepts of god before he can experience god".
the moment i read this it just hit me so hard. for the last 4 years i have just had ideas of God in my mind, thoughts about God, what i thought God is, i havnt experienced God. I would say i was much closer to God when i was a child then i am now.
My mind has taken me away from God, i know there is a bridge though to get away from all the concepts and ideas in the human mind and get into the NOW. (present, issness, God, THAT) whatever you want to call it.
The ideas, concepts and thoughts in the human mind gets in the way of being present and experiencing life.
About a week ago i was in my room and read over a really great book by a man called Consciousness Is All by Peter Dziuban when i first read some of his book i did not understand it i thought it was some metaphysical book about idealism, after re reading it , i seemed to of read it completley differently without any of my concepts of the book and i understood it alot more, in my opinion peter dziuban should be put on the spiritual teachers list. I sent him some emails and he replied me back here is some of the thing he said to me from his email. In one of my emails to him i asked him about Cosmic Consciousness experiences i used zendancer as an example as i know he has had a few of these experiences.
anyway here is some of his email to me. And i know it will be great help to people on this forum aswell. if you wish to email him just type his name on google and his website will come up.
heres the email:
----
"Lay off all thought, even the most sincere thought about God" because even the notion of "God" is a human thought or idea. Just BE. There's just Nowness, Present Aliveness, Pure Being, and It does not think, not even about God.
Don't try to stop or get rid of thinking.
Instead, just sit quietly and keep asking yourself two kinds questions:
How much does Awareness weigh right here, now? How much does Now, the Present weigh? Don't answer with a thought--just silently "get into" what that "weightlessness" feels like. Really "explore" it. Does it have a starting point somewhere? Is there a limited supply of this utter lightness? It may not feel like much at first, but soon it will be a gentle, ever-present Aliveness, an ease and freedom.
Notice that ANY time there's a feeling of heaviness or weight, it is a sensation, something felt emotionally, or the heaviness is attached to a thought about some situation. But pure Awareness Itself NEVER is heavy. It is so light it is indescribable. Don't make any effort to "lighten up" but just keep returning attention to this already-present lightness and ease. Try to make Awareness NOT be indescribably light. Impossible! Try to make the utter ease with which NOW is NOW, not be NOW. Also impossible. It may seem at first that you have keep "catching it" and returning attention to this unthinking light ease of Awareness. The more one "hangs out here" (which is what "You" really ARE anyway!) the more that thinking and a sense of weightiness seems to fade.
When this sense of weightiness/heaviness starts to fade, what's really fading is the "mind" and the sense of materiality and physicality, for they are the same. And as one continues as this Lightness, sometimes experiences like the guy described will seem to occur (the guy is zendancer and his one of his cosmic consciousness experiences). It's not that something new happens--this kind of Consciousness always is present--the change is because some of the superimposed material/mental sense of Darryl has "fallen off the windshield" and now there is clearer "seeing" or being. "
end of email.
-----
what are my final conclusions
i am going to spend more time in the present. Good luck with this forum. I will post back in a few months to let you know how it goes. i honestly feel as if some of my life has been wasted .
i agree with what zendancer said in a post. 10 minutes of being in the present is far more better than any book i have read or any idea in my mind.