Post by mousewitch on Apr 24, 2010 0:15:50 GMT -5
I came here hoping to find a teacher. As i read the friendly Intros, as sadness overwhelmed me and once again i find myself signing to another board. Now to get rid of this sadness i type a message for anyone who dares to read it. perhaps once again, i will get no response because what i have to say is beyond... description. Perhaps there is a better place for this but why bother. i will get this off my chest now.
A little about myself and i will explain it to the best of my abilities.
I had a personal battle within myself between the light and dark. I wanted so much to believe in the light but i could not. They placed me in chains and i wanted to see beyond the veil. Darkness was so much easier to understand but i didn't want join forces with it. after some time, the war got so bad, it pollution entered my body and became physically ill.
I would not, i could not bare the light and the darkness embrassed me. I felt so relieved and free. it was pure ecstasy as a divine happiness that is rarely known. With darkness i was allowed pure freedom, there were no boundries. after a long walk of spiritual freedom of the darkness, i found a light. how conflicting
i must remember what it is i want. This site reminded me of a state of trance i want to reach. But i unconsciously fear it for it is as death. like a natural resistance to sleep or that of death, everytime i reach the brink of this violent state, i snap out of it. To me it feels like the blood circulation is cut from my brain and its ready to fall asleep. END
So where does this sadness comes from. I am no man of religion, i have never had a teacher, And i taught myself. Yet there is a hole in my soul that God had never filled.
God even once told me that i was forgiven which disturbed me and i yelled back FOR WHAT
i heard a plenty of people who explained and experienced a spiritual awakening described as a brightness so bright you cannot see. i too have seen this energy. the first time in a room of spiritual seekers. a short brightness came and left like a wandering thought. The second time was more intense than that. One night, as i wandered through the forest the trees emitted an energy so thick i had to duck under branches that weren't even there. When i got to the fork in the road, the light was so bright, ofcourse i couldnt see. And i stood there wondering which way i was to go. i dont know if this was the spiritual awakening i heard of or if it was the aura of the surrounding trees. I've learned not to make questions anymore. After a few moment which seemed like an eternity another tiny blue spec on the ground glowed in the brightness. curiosity got the best of me and i walk to it. it was all that it was, nothing special. I looked left still the brightness consumed me. i looked right still the brightness consumed me. i looked at the tiny blue light again thinking to myself NOW WHAT. i looked left again and the road opened before me. WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT. Who cared, time to go forth to my camp.
I have also practice magick in my time. And now the new conflicts i've developed. i can't tell if its manifestation or prediction or if there even is a difference. my predictions may as well be primitive intuition. There is a cycle there somewhere. i don't practice they type of magick you'd find in common places. such as saying of words such as prayer or incantations. i dont practice sorcery, alchemy, necromance, witchcraft or healing with godly love. And i worship no-one.
Anyways, my manifested predictions. i learned to manipulate the weather as anyone can. first i started with small simple things, then went into things that would make the news. With my attempt to be original with stuff like making tornados, hail in what is on the most part tropical climate. earthquakes and all of it ended up in the news. are these precise manipulations actually predictions. i even dared to bring a comet down to be recorded by two seperate videos that i know would be running at all times. Of course they did not talk about where it landed because it is surpressed by the government and for good scientific reason.(As to say i cant find any information of its landing) and through all this practice, i caused no causualties as far as i know, as i intended it to be. or perhaps in doubt as i predicted it to be. I dont expect anyone to believe me. no one does, not even the witnessess. There is also tons of more psychic abilities i've encountered but dont really have control over and i'm hoping to reach my death trance state to help my control them and perhaps go outside my personal boundries i've created.
So do i sound crazy yet, of course i do. but if you dont believe then i'm definately asking the wrong people. Let me ask you an important question. What would you do with devistating abilities like mine. The answer is nothing, nothing at all. I never did use magick/gifts/whatever you want to call it. never had any use for it. i only practiced it to prove to myself that i can do it. There is a lot more i wish i could do, simple thing that people who are awakened enough , learn to do. i'm not saying i'm awakened, only that i lived the life. Perhaps it is true and not everyone will have the same abilities as the next. but i learned it from another and i taught it to another... and never again. So much more to say...
I came to a realization recently and i now know that perhaps i can calm the seas, make things right. reverse creation. I'm working on it, These things take time.
OH YEAH, HI EVERYONE.
Promote the Goat
Mouse is Dead
A little about myself and i will explain it to the best of my abilities.
I had a personal battle within myself between the light and dark. I wanted so much to believe in the light but i could not. They placed me in chains and i wanted to see beyond the veil. Darkness was so much easier to understand but i didn't want join forces with it. after some time, the war got so bad, it pollution entered my body and became physically ill.
I would not, i could not bare the light and the darkness embrassed me. I felt so relieved and free. it was pure ecstasy as a divine happiness that is rarely known. With darkness i was allowed pure freedom, there were no boundries. after a long walk of spiritual freedom of the darkness, i found a light. how conflicting
i must remember what it is i want. This site reminded me of a state of trance i want to reach. But i unconsciously fear it for it is as death. like a natural resistance to sleep or that of death, everytime i reach the brink of this violent state, i snap out of it. To me it feels like the blood circulation is cut from my brain and its ready to fall asleep. END
So where does this sadness comes from. I am no man of religion, i have never had a teacher, And i taught myself. Yet there is a hole in my soul that God had never filled.
God even once told me that i was forgiven which disturbed me and i yelled back FOR WHAT
i heard a plenty of people who explained and experienced a spiritual awakening described as a brightness so bright you cannot see. i too have seen this energy. the first time in a room of spiritual seekers. a short brightness came and left like a wandering thought. The second time was more intense than that. One night, as i wandered through the forest the trees emitted an energy so thick i had to duck under branches that weren't even there. When i got to the fork in the road, the light was so bright, ofcourse i couldnt see. And i stood there wondering which way i was to go. i dont know if this was the spiritual awakening i heard of or if it was the aura of the surrounding trees. I've learned not to make questions anymore. After a few moment which seemed like an eternity another tiny blue spec on the ground glowed in the brightness. curiosity got the best of me and i walk to it. it was all that it was, nothing special. I looked left still the brightness consumed me. i looked right still the brightness consumed me. i looked at the tiny blue light again thinking to myself NOW WHAT. i looked left again and the road opened before me. WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT. Who cared, time to go forth to my camp.
I have also practice magick in my time. And now the new conflicts i've developed. i can't tell if its manifestation or prediction or if there even is a difference. my predictions may as well be primitive intuition. There is a cycle there somewhere. i don't practice they type of magick you'd find in common places. such as saying of words such as prayer or incantations. i dont practice sorcery, alchemy, necromance, witchcraft or healing with godly love. And i worship no-one.
Anyways, my manifested predictions. i learned to manipulate the weather as anyone can. first i started with small simple things, then went into things that would make the news. With my attempt to be original with stuff like making tornados, hail in what is on the most part tropical climate. earthquakes and all of it ended up in the news. are these precise manipulations actually predictions. i even dared to bring a comet down to be recorded by two seperate videos that i know would be running at all times. Of course they did not talk about where it landed because it is surpressed by the government and for good scientific reason.(As to say i cant find any information of its landing) and through all this practice, i caused no causualties as far as i know, as i intended it to be. or perhaps in doubt as i predicted it to be. I dont expect anyone to believe me. no one does, not even the witnessess. There is also tons of more psychic abilities i've encountered but dont really have control over and i'm hoping to reach my death trance state to help my control them and perhaps go outside my personal boundries i've created.
So do i sound crazy yet, of course i do. but if you dont believe then i'm definately asking the wrong people. Let me ask you an important question. What would you do with devistating abilities like mine. The answer is nothing, nothing at all. I never did use magick/gifts/whatever you want to call it. never had any use for it. i only practiced it to prove to myself that i can do it. There is a lot more i wish i could do, simple thing that people who are awakened enough , learn to do. i'm not saying i'm awakened, only that i lived the life. Perhaps it is true and not everyone will have the same abilities as the next. but i learned it from another and i taught it to another... and never again. So much more to say...
I came to a realization recently and i now know that perhaps i can calm the seas, make things right. reverse creation. I'm working on it, These things take time.
OH YEAH, HI EVERYONE.
Promote the Goat
Mouse is Dead
