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Post by stardustpilgrim on Aug 26, 2022 11:33:30 GMT -5
Are you kidding? Do you want another long story? Swiss cheese version. I was always hidden. I would say 90% of the women I've met, come to me, or just circumstances put us together. But from instructions, and someone asking, I ended up being the umpire for the women's softball team where my parents went to church, the church I grew up in. First game, new most beautiful lady, never seen before, sdp's perfect woman. She played first base or catcher. Each team supplied an umpire. Half the game behind plate, half the game in the field. In the field with no runners, umpire stays at first base. So we were always adjacent, at least 1/2 a game. But that first game, saw she has a ring on. So, no possibility there. Turned out she was the pianist of the church. But she talked to me some and kind of kidded me some during the games. Story, story, story...So I saw her summers, always no possibilities, but always daydreams. They had a little boy, 1981. 1982 during the season I learned she was pregnant. End of June of 1982 I learned her husband had left her, found out later he had left her on Mother's Day. The softball season was over, had a team party cookout July 4th weekend, hoped to see her. But she had gone to the beach with her parents. Later, we talked on the phone. She said she was not going to date until she had a legal separation. I knew this took at a minimum one year in NC. So, we made a rule, we would talk once a week on the phone. Before long that rule changed to, I could call her once a week, she could call me once a week. So we did this for...like 14 months. She had a little girl December 1982. We married October 1983. Her former did not pay child support. We didn't ask, we were setting him up. I wanted to adopt, we wanted me to adopt, both agreed. So after a year, we asked her former if I could adopt. We never asked, but he added 2 + 2, either he let me adopt or he was going to be paying child support. So I started marriage never knowing marriage without kids. I adopted, so they are mine, have my name. Wife and I had 2 more, girl and boy. Swiss cheese version.
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Post by sree on Aug 26, 2022 17:27:27 GMT -5
Are you kidding? Do you want another long story?
Swiss cheese version. I was always hidden. I would say 90% of the women I've met, come to me, or just circumstances put us together. But from instructions, and someone asking, I ended up being the umpire for the women's softball team where my parents went to church, the church I grew up in. First game, new most beautiful lady, never seen before, sdp's perfect woman. She played first base or catcher. Each team supplied an umpire. Half the game behind plate, half the game in the field. In the field with no runners, umpire stays at first base. So we were always adjacent, at least 1/2 a game. But that first game, saw she has a ring on. So, no possibility there. Turned out she was the pianist of the church. But she talked to me some and kind of kidded me some during the games. Story, story, story...So I saw her summers, always no possibilities, but always daydreams. They had a little boy, 1981. 1982 during the season I learned she was pregnant. End of June of 1982 I learned her husband had left her, found out later he had left her on Mother's Day. The softball season was over, had a team party cookout July 4th weekend, hoped to see her. But she had gone to the beach with her parents. Later, we talked on the phone. She said she was not going to date until she had a legal separation. I knew this took at a minimum one year in NC. So, we made a rule, we would talk once a week on the phone. Before long that rule changed to, I could call her once a week, she could call me once a week. So we did this for...like 14 months. She had a little girl December 1982. We married October 1983. Her former did not pay child support. We didn't ask, we were setting him up. I wanted to adopt, we wanted me to adopt, both agreed. So after a year, we asked her former if I could adopt. We never asked, but he added 2 + 2, either he let me adopt or he was going to be paying child support. So I started marriage never knowing marriage without kids. I adopted, so they are mine, have my name. Wife and I had 2 more, girl and boy. Swiss cheese version. You are the only one (apart from me) who has no qualms baring himself. The boatman's life story is the only truth worth inquiring into. The Buddha's story was made up. So was Jesus', and the Tooth Fairy's.
To my mind, I don't believe that your depression, back then when you left Colorado to return to NC, was the effect of karmic imprints. You can hang on to your yoga beliefs if you need to. I won't debate you over them. I didn't upset my grandma over her love of Jesus either. Mythos are all we have. You have yours. Scientists like Einstein and Newton had theirs too for building the Block Universe.
You raised a family wiring up houses as an electrician. Did you like the trade? It probably saved your life. "Working with your hands" keeps one centered. I was always around tradesmen throughout my career. Down-to-earth people. The best.
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Post by stardustpilgrim on Aug 26, 2022 18:24:58 GMT -5
Are you kidding? Do you want another long story?
Swiss cheese version. I was always hidden. I would say 90% of the women I've met, come to me, or just circumstances put us together. But from instructions, and someone asking, I ended up being the umpire for the women's softball team where my parents went to church, the church I grew up in. First game, new most beautiful lady, never seen before, sdp's perfect woman. She played first base or catcher. Each team supplied an umpire. Half the game behind plate, half the game in the field. In the field with no runners, umpire stays at first base. So we were always adjacent, at least 1/2 a game. But that first game, saw she has a ring on. So, no possibility there. Turned out she was the pianist of the church. But she talked to me some and kind of kidded me some during the games. Story, story, story...So I saw her summers, always no possibilities, but always daydreams. They had a little boy, 1981. 1982 during the season I learned she was pregnant. End of June of 1982 I learned her husband had left her, found out later he had left her on Mother's Day. The softball season was over, had a team party cookout July 4th weekend, hoped to see her. But she had gone to the beach with her parents. Later, we talked on the phone. She said she was not going to date until she had a legal separation. I knew this took at a minimum one year in NC. So, we made a rule, we would talk once a week on the phone. Before long that rule changed to, I could call her once a week, she could call me once a week. So we did this for...like 14 months. She had a little girl December 1982. We married October 1983. Her former did not pay child support. We didn't ask, we were setting him up. I wanted to adopt, we wanted me to adopt, both agreed. So after a year, we asked her former if I could adopt. We never asked, but he added 2 + 2, either he let me adopt or he was going to be paying child support. So I started marriage never knowing marriage without kids. I adopted, so they are mine, have my name. Wife and I had 2 more, girl and boy. Swiss cheese version. You are the only one (apart from me) who has no qualms baring himself. The boatman's life story is the only truth worth inquiring into. The Buddha's story was made up. So was Jesus', and the Tooth Fairy's. To my mind, I don't believe that your depression, back then when you left Colorado to return to NC, was the effect of karmic imprints. You can hang on to your yoga beliefs if you need to. I won't debate you over them. I didn't upset my grandma over her love of Jesus either. Mythos are all we have. You have yours. Scientists like Einstein and Newton had theirs too for building the Block Universe. You raised a family wiring up houses as an electrician. Did you like the trade? It probably saved your life. "Working with your hands" keeps one centered. I was always around tradesmen throughout my career. Down-to-earth people. The best.
You keep pulling out parts of my story. I will go a little deeper. No, I didn't like it, for about 15 years didn't like, it was just necessary. You can't imagine how closed inside myself I was. In college I tried to figure out what to do to make a living in life. I was suited to be a teacher, probably Middle School, science. But I could not *do* people, I was immeasurably insecure, paralyzingly no self esteem. I just could not talk to people, unless circumstances required it, or unless the payoff was infinitely worth the risk. So, my problem was to figure out a job that did not involve people. Today, that might not be such a problem, you can search, jobs to do mostly alone. But then, it seemed an impossible task. In March of 1976 when I found I needed a job, I went to the public employment service. I took a test to show my aptitude. Finding the right fit was the problem. The jobs were on microfiche. I looked at every available job in the Charlotte area. Only one stood out, climber's helper, drag brush to chipper, chip brush, help climber carry tools. Asplundh Tree Expert Co. I said, that's me, I can do that. And I found Luther Payne, my Christian mentor, an actual man of God. (He was not my Teacher, just to clarify. My Teacher got me to him, requiring a job). He was my foreman for 3 years. I moved up to climber, then top climber, then crew foreman. That was a pretty good non-people job, but too hard on the body. Quit, took 4 months off, did Krishnamurti, California, started electrical work August 1980. ... Later I found Jack Kerouac, read the first, liked Dharma Bums much better. In it he was a fire watch guy way out in the forest, during fire season, watching for signs of forest fires. I thought, the ideal job. But by then I was past that, too much responsibility. Fridays were the worst. We did service work on Fridays, and small jobs that took from 2-4 hours, sometimes all day. So I had to meet and deal with homeowners. But then one day it just hit me, I have the best job in the world, for me. I usually dealt only with a house, and tools and wire, only one helper to deal with. And I usually worked for only one building contractor, he kept me busy all the time. Sometimes another crew helped to catch up. And if a contractor needed a house done, now, we did what we called Super Crew. Six of us, including the boss, who could do the work of two, could do a house on Saturday usually in half a day. If longer, his wife usually brought us lunch. So I realized I had my alone-job, mostly. Then, I was pretty happy. Yes, many trades people are very exceptionally intelligent. And I worked for other building contractors at times, helping other crews catch up when necessary. They were for the most part very intelligent, good people. But I gained skills talking to people, when necessary. But for me, still, then, chit-chat was nonsense talk. How do people just talk about nothing?
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Post by stardustpilgrim on Aug 26, 2022 18:37:58 GMT -5
Are you kidding? Do you want another long story?
Swiss cheese version. I was always hidden. I would say 90% of the women I've met, come to me, or just circumstances put us together. But from instructions, and someone asking, I ended up being the umpire for the women's softball team where my parents went to church, the church I grew up in. First game, new most beautiful lady, never seen before, sdp's perfect woman. She played first base or catcher. Each team supplied an umpire. Half the game behind plate, half the game in the field. In the field with no runners, umpire stays at first base. So we were always adjacent, at least 1/2 a game. But that first game, saw she has a ring on. So, no possibility there. Turned out she was the pianist of the church. But she talked to me some and kind of kidded me some during the games. Story, story, story...So I saw her summers, always no possibilities, but always daydreams. They had a little boy, 1981. 1982 during the season I learned she was pregnant. End of June of 1982 I learned her husband had left her, found out later he had left her on Mother's Day. The softball season was over, had a team party cookout July 4th weekend, hoped to see her. But she had gone to the beach with her parents. Later, we talked on the phone. She said she was not going to date until she had a legal separation. I knew this took at a minimum one year in NC. So, we made a rule, we would talk once a week on the phone. Before long that rule changed to, I could call her once a week, she could call me once a week. So we did this for...like 14 months. She had a little girl December 1982. We married October 1983. Her former did not pay child support. We didn't ask, we were setting him up. I wanted to adopt, we wanted me to adopt, both agreed. So after a year, we asked her former if I could adopt. We never asked, but he added 2 + 2, either he let me adopt or he was going to be paying child support. So I started marriage never knowing marriage without kids. I adopted, so they are mine, have my name. Wife and I had 2 more, girl and boy. Swiss cheese version. You are the only one (apart from me) who has no qualms baring himself. The boatman's life story is the only truth worth inquiring into. The Buddha's story was made up. So was Jesus', and the Tooth Fairy's. To my mind, I don't believe that your depression, back then when you left Colorado to return to NC, was the effect of karmic imprints. You can hang on to your yoga beliefs if you need to. I won't debate you over them. I didn't upset my grandma over her love of Jesus either. Mythos are all we have. You have yours. Scientists like Einstein and Newton had theirs too for building the Block Universe. You raised a family wiring up houses as an electrician. Did you like the trade? It probably saved your life. "Working with your hands" keeps one centered. I was always around tradesmen throughout my career. Down-to-earth people. The best.
I actually agree. The depression was not necessarily caused by imprints, but it resulted in karmic imprints, that eventually have to be dealt with. We are responsible for what we do every moment. If the past causes the moment, we are still responsible. If it were not so we could never break the chain of cause and effect, and we would be permanently locked in a causal feed-back loop. ouroboros has the master understanding of all this.
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Post by sree on Aug 26, 2022 22:21:13 GMT -5
You are the only one (apart from me) who has no qualms baring himself. The boatman's life story is the only truth worth inquiring into. The Buddha's story was made up. So was Jesus', and the Tooth Fairy's. To my mind, I don't believe that your depression, back then when you left Colorado to return to NC, was the effect of karmic imprints. You can hang on to your yoga beliefs if you need to. I won't debate you over them. I didn't upset my grandma over her love of Jesus either. Mythos are all we have. You have yours. Scientists like Einstein and Newton had theirs too for building the Block Universe. You raised a family wiring up houses as an electrician. Did you like the trade? It probably saved your life. "Working with your hands" keeps one centered. I was always around tradesmen throughout my career. Down-to-earth people. The best.
I actually agree. The depression was not necessarily caused by imprints, but it resulted in karmic imprints, that eventually have to be dealt with. We are responsible for what we do every moment. If the past causes the moment, we are still responsible. If it were not so we could never break the chain of cause and effect, and we would be permanently locked in a causal feed-back loop. ouroboros has the master understanding of all this. Nobody but you has the master understanding of you. ouroboros is the astrologer with his parrot. This guy:
You are an American, for God's sake. Get a grip on yourself.
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Post by stardustpilgrim on Aug 26, 2022 22:29:22 GMT -5
I actually agree. The depression was not necessarily caused by imprints, but it resulted in karmic imprints, that eventually have to be dealt with. We are responsible for what we do every moment. If the past causes the moment, we are still responsible. If it were not so we could never break the chain of cause and effect, and we would be permanently locked in a causal feed-back loop. ouroboros has the master understanding of all this. Nobody but you has the master understanding of you. ouroboros is the astrologer with his parrot. This guy: You are an American, for God's sake. Get a grip on yourself.
I don't know what that means. I'm already getting bored again with sree. I'm from planet Earth, barely.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 27, 2022 0:01:19 GMT -5
You are the only one (apart from me) who has no qualms baring himself. The boatman's life story is the only truth worth inquiring into. The Buddha's story was made up. So was Jesus', and the Tooth Fairy's. What are you talking about? Your story is made up too. I bet if I spoke to someone who knows you and who was a character in your story that they would tell me a different story.
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Post by stardustpilgrim on Aug 27, 2022 6:45:18 GMT -5
You are the only one (apart from me) who has no qualms baring himself. The boatman's life story is the only truth worth inquiring into. The Buddha's story was made up. So was Jesus', and the Tooth Fairy's. What are you talking about? Your story is made up too. I bet if I spoke to someone who knows you and who was a character in your story that they would tell me a different story. It's difficult to know oneself. That's why all the sages say knowing oneself is, first. If you don't know yourself, you don't know how self distorts everything else. One who knows others is intelligent One who knows himself is enlightened chapter 33 Tao Te Ching
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Post by tenka on Aug 27, 2022 14:04:57 GMT -5
Wow! That's amazing. Years ago I came to the conclusion Jed had been a student of Richard Rose. I eventually was sure that Jed was Augie Turak, say, 92% sure. And if that was true then I had actually been-in the house from the first book. But I don't think > Augie< Turak has died. I think the first book came out before Rose died, but he did already have Alzheimer's, which is essentially death. Often the dialog here on this forum drifts into topics that have no definitive conventional answer. I think of them as "koan-like" questions .. " if you've realized what you're not, how can you not have realized 'what you are'?" .. "can an enlightened person get angry?" .. "is there anything such as altruism?" .. "what should I do if enlightenment requires 'grace'? nothing?" .. etc .. ..For myself it isn't koan like at all . It's actual . The thing about peeps going around saying I am not this and that is simply being surrounded by a hall of mindful mirrors seeing oneself in a different light each time in each reflection . So one concludes I am not that I am this because I have had a glimpse of something else . It's all reflections of the same Self .. You can't be this and not that ..
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Post by sree on Aug 27, 2022 16:00:41 GMT -5
Nobody but you has the master understanding of you. ouroboros is the astrologer with his parrot. This guy: You are an American, for God's sake. Get a grip on yourself.
I don't know what that means. I'm already getting bored again with sree. I'm from planet Earth, barely. It means that you become the boatman when you lose sight of the center of awareness, the observer. You are the world, unfragmented and whole. The boatman is not the world. He is part of the world, a powerless victim of circumstances. He looks up to the astrologer for clarity and direction even though the astrologer is another poor bastard. You follow?
Being the world, the whole world, makes you all one. There is no one else. You encompass all that exists. This is my attitude in my daily life or when I log on to chat with you guys. None of you can take the initiative from me like an ant crawling out of the ant farm to bite me (i.e. explain to me what the Buddha said). Does this mean I cannot learn anything from the ant or ouroboros? Of course, I can. I learn through MY observation of the ant. I am not being TAUGHT by the ant. Do you see the difference?
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Post by sree on Aug 27, 2022 16:23:00 GMT -5
You are the only one (apart from me) who has no qualms baring himself. The boatman's life story is the only truth worth inquiring into. The Buddha's story was made up. So was Jesus', and the Tooth Fairy's. What are you talking about? Your story is made up too. I bet if I spoke to someone who knows you and who was a character in your story that they would tell me a different story. Which part is made up? Which character in my story would say I lied? More importantly, why do you think I am spinning a tale about myself? Or what reason?
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Post by sree on Aug 27, 2022 16:30:10 GMT -5
What are you talking about? Your story is made up too. I bet if I spoke to someone who knows you and who was a character in your story that they would tell me a different story. It's difficult to know oneself. That's why all the sages say knowing oneself is, first. If you don't know yourself, you don't know how self distorts everything else. One who knows others is intelligent One who knows himself is enlightened chapter 33 Tao Te Ching I don't think satch is accusing me of self-delusion. He believes that I came into this forum to mess around.
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Post by sree on Aug 27, 2022 18:22:55 GMT -5
You are the only one (apart from me) who has no qualms baring himself. The boatman's life story is the only truth worth inquiring into. The Buddha's story was made up. So was Jesus', and the Tooth Fairy's. To my mind, I don't believe that your depression, back then when you left Colorado to return to NC, was the effect of karmic imprints. You can hang on to your yoga beliefs if you need to. I won't debate you over them. I didn't upset my grandma over her love of Jesus either. Mythos are all we have. You have yours. Scientists like Einstein and Newton had theirs too for building the Block Universe. You raised a family wiring up houses as an electrician. Did you like the trade? It probably saved your life. "Working with your hands" keeps one centered. I was always around tradesmen throughout my career. Down-to-earth people. The best.
You keep pulling out parts of my story. I will go a little deeper. No, I didn't like it, for about 15 years didn't like, it was just necessary. You can't imagine how closed inside myself I was. In college I tried to figure out what to do to make a living in life. I was suited to be a teacher, probably Middle School, science. But I could not *do* people, I was immeasurably insecure, paralyzingly no self esteem. I just could not talk to people, unless circumstances required it, or unless the payoff was infinitely worth the risk. So, my problem was to figure out a job that did not involve people. Today, that might not be such a problem, you can search, jobs to do mostly alone. But then, it seemed an impossible task. In March of 1976 when I found I needed a job, I went to the public employment service. I took a test to show my aptitude. Finding the right fit was the problem. The jobs were on microfiche. I looked at every available job in the Charlotte area. Only one stood out, climber's helper, drag brush to chipper, chip brush, help climber carry tools. Asplundh Tree Expert Co. I said, that's me, I can do that. And I found Luther Payne, my Christian mentor, an actual man of God. (He was not my Teacher, just to clarify. My Teacher got me to him, requiring a job). He was my foreman for 3 years. I moved up to climber, then top climber, then crew foreman. That was a pretty good non-people job, but too hard on the body. Quit, took 4 months off, did Krishnamurti, California, started electrical work August 1980. ... Later I found Jack Kerouac, read the first, liked Dharma Bums much better. In it he was a fire watch guy way out in the forest, during fire season, watching for signs of forest fires. I thought, the ideal job. But by then I was past that, too much responsibility. Fridays were the worst. We did service work on Fridays, and small jobs that took from 2-4 hours, sometimes all day. So I had to meet and deal with homeowners. But then one day it just hit me, I have the best job in the world, for me. I usually dealt only with a house, and tools and wire, only one helper to deal with. And I usually worked for only one building contractor, he kept me busy all the time. Sometimes another crew helped to catch up. And if a contractor needed a house done, now, we did what we called Super Crew. Six of us, including the boss, who could do the work of two, could do a house on Saturday usually in half a day. If longer, his wife usually brought us lunch. So I realized I had my alone-job, mostly. Then, I was pretty happy. Yes, many trades people are very exceptionally intelligent. And I worked for other building contractors at times, helping other crews catch up when necessary. They were for the most part very intelligent, good people. But I gained skills talking to people, when necessary. But for me, still, then, chit-chat was nonsense talk. How do people just talk about nothing? I may not be able to get into your world to experience what you were going through, but I understand why you "hid inside". Your world is fundamentally the same as my world. The "separation" between you and I is a curse that gives rise to the Chuangtze boatman.
Depression is a natural response to a universal horrible existential state. I don't think I am wrong about this even though it is perceived as a mental disease in the west and viewed as a latent tendency in the east. Why doesn't this disease or tendency manifest in all mankind but only in you? My diagnosis of the absence of depression (i.e. pain) is a loss of sensitivity. I am also sensitive to the deplorable state of the world but, by circumstance, was not thrust directly into it. If I were in your situation, I would have reacted as you had.
Below is a movie. Tell me what you think of the story.
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Post by stardustpilgrim on Aug 27, 2022 19:33:48 GMT -5
You keep pulling out parts of my story. I will go a little deeper. No, I didn't like it, for about 15 years didn't like, it was just necessary. You can't imagine how closed inside myself I was. In college I tried to figure out what to do to make a living in life. I was suited to be a teacher, probably Middle School, science. But I could not *do* people, I was immeasurably insecure, paralyzingly no self esteem. I just could not talk to people, unless circumstances required it, or unless the payoff was infinitely worth the risk. So, my problem was to figure out a job that did not involve people. Today, that might not be such a problem, you can search, jobs to do mostly alone. But then, it seemed an impossible task. In March of 1976 when I found I needed a job, I went to the public employment service. I took a test to show my aptitude. Finding the right fit was the problem. The jobs were on microfiche. I looked at every available job in the Charlotte area. Only one stood out, climber's helper, drag brush to chipper, chip brush, help climber carry tools. Asplundh Tree Expert Co. I said, that's me, I can do that. And I found Luther Payne, my Christian mentor, an actual man of God. (He was not my Teacher, just to clarify. My Teacher got me to him, requiring a job). He was my foreman for 3 years. I moved up to climber, then top climber, then crew foreman. That was a pretty good non-people job, but too hard on the body. Quit, took 4 months off, did Krishnamurti, California, started electrical work August 1980. ... Later I found Jack Kerouac, read the first, liked Dharma Bums much better. In it he was a fire watch guy way out in the forest, during fire season, watching for signs of forest fires. I thought, the ideal job. But by then I was past that, too much responsibility. Fridays were the worst. We did service work on Fridays, and small jobs that took from 2-4 hours, sometimes all day. So I had to meet and deal with homeowners. But then one day it just hit me, I have the best job in the world, for me. I usually dealt only with a house, and tools and wire, only one helper to deal with. And I usually worked for only one building contractor, he kept me busy all the time. Sometimes another crew helped to catch up. And if a contractor needed a house done, now, we did what we called Super Crew. Six of us, including the boss, who could do the work of two, could do a house on Saturday usually in half a day. If longer, his wife usually brought us lunch. So I realized I had my alone-job, mostly. Then, I was pretty happy. Yes, many trades people are very exceptionally intelligent. And I worked for other building contractors at times, helping other crews catch up when necessary. They were for the most part very intelligent, good people. But I gained skills talking to people, when necessary. But for me, still, then, chit-chat was nonsense talk. How do people just talk about nothing? I may not be able to get into your world to experience what you were going through, but I understand why you "hid inside". Your world is fundamentally the same as my world. The "separation" between you and I is a curse that gives rise to the Chuangtze boatman.
Depression is a natural response to a universal horrible existential state. I don't think I am wrong about this even though it is perceived as a mental disease in the west and viewed as a latent tendency in the east. Why doesn't this disease or tendency manifest in all mankind but only in you? My diagnosis of the absence of depression (i.e. pain) is a loss of sensitivity. I am also sensitive to the deplorable state of the world but, by circumstance, was not thrust directly into it. If I were in your situation, I would have reacted as you had.
Below is a movie. Tell me what you think of the story.
I will look at the movie later, give it a go. I think I said somewhere I don't think I was clinically depressed (not a mental disease). But I was kind-of predisposed to depression, and since I was about 12 I had this undercurrent of dissatisfaction, meaning it was always there. It's basically what fueled my search, to figure myself out, which turned into a spiritual search, each reciprocated the other. I think it was RD Laing who said so-called mental illness is an appropriate response to an ill society. He thus didn't really believe in mental illness. He was a smart guy.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 27, 2022 22:23:26 GMT -5
What are you talking about? Your story is made up too. I bet if I spoke to someone who knows you and who was a character in your story that they would tell me a different story. Which part is made up? Which character in my story would say I lied? More importantly, why do you think I am spinning a tale about myself? Or what reason? oh I see. You think this is all about you. Everybody's story is made up including my own. A selective number of experiences highly edited by my own conditioning and belief system and environmental factors to produce a story about this person called me. And the story is about the bits I care to remember and not the bits I forgot. That's why you are wrong in asserting that spirituality is about your life. It cannot be about this ever-changing tale told by yourself to others and to yourself. Is that what you really took away from Krishnamurti. That somehow the spiritual journey is about you as a person? It's telling that you think I'm suggesting the characters in your life who told their version of the story would accuse you of lying. They're just as likely to paint a better picture of yourself than you have. Anything can happen with stories.
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