Post by nutjob on Feb 11, 2017 5:31:00 GMT -5
Hi folks,
Very interested to have found this board on my Google search since I have often regretted not having gurus to discuss with. Sometimes I think ultimately we are own best guru but there is no doubt that the words of others can be enlightening or, at least, guide along the path.
I have been on the path for a while now. I am currently a 38 year old unemployed, divorced man dependent completely on his 70 year old parents. They even cook and clean for me. I currently have no financial or family responsibilities and live a pretty good life completely thanks to the efforts of others. Before you judge me too harshly, I am going to play the victim card a bit here. I was born with temporal lobe epilepsy which was fully controlled with medication until I reached my 30s. Then, whenever I encountered even moderately stressful situations in life, like work or marriage, my seizure activity would flare up again. My parents preferred that I didnt work since dealing with my seizures made their lives harder. My seizures have also on several occasions taken the form of negative psychoses which really freak my parents out and always lead to my hospitalization. The happiest time of life was volunteering with children for the Don Bosco organization in India but that didnt last longer than 2 months
I was an agnostic until certain experiences in my 30s turned me into a seeker. I have looked into various philosophies and religions but non-duality interests me the most. Meditation has helped me focus my mind and reduce stress levels. The most interesting conscious experience I've had was pretty recent.....maybe about a month ago. When I had it, it felt like I was everything. Another way I looked at it was like being Infinity experiencing the Finite. The experience itself lasted only a few seconds but when it was over I thought I had achieved enlightenment. Trying to explain what I had just experienced to my parents made them immediately take me to my psychologist who commited me to a mental ward for 2 days. And it was prolly only so short cos I decided to pretend like I didnt remember what I had said that had made them commit me. So I am officially a nutcase!
But I am looking forward to hearing from all of you and am currently conducting a personal experiment re consciousness which I will make a post about soon re my confusions for further clarifications from the forum community. I have self published a few short essays which are available at this site link:
Smashwords
No great insights into reality there but maybe a better look into my mind.
Be well...
Very interested to have found this board on my Google search since I have often regretted not having gurus to discuss with. Sometimes I think ultimately we are own best guru but there is no doubt that the words of others can be enlightening or, at least, guide along the path.
I have been on the path for a while now. I am currently a 38 year old unemployed, divorced man dependent completely on his 70 year old parents. They even cook and clean for me. I currently have no financial or family responsibilities and live a pretty good life completely thanks to the efforts of others. Before you judge me too harshly, I am going to play the victim card a bit here. I was born with temporal lobe epilepsy which was fully controlled with medication until I reached my 30s. Then, whenever I encountered even moderately stressful situations in life, like work or marriage, my seizure activity would flare up again. My parents preferred that I didnt work since dealing with my seizures made their lives harder. My seizures have also on several occasions taken the form of negative psychoses which really freak my parents out and always lead to my hospitalization. The happiest time of life was volunteering with children for the Don Bosco organization in India but that didnt last longer than 2 months
I was an agnostic until certain experiences in my 30s turned me into a seeker. I have looked into various philosophies and religions but non-duality interests me the most. Meditation has helped me focus my mind and reduce stress levels. The most interesting conscious experience I've had was pretty recent.....maybe about a month ago. When I had it, it felt like I was everything. Another way I looked at it was like being Infinity experiencing the Finite. The experience itself lasted only a few seconds but when it was over I thought I had achieved enlightenment. Trying to explain what I had just experienced to my parents made them immediately take me to my psychologist who commited me to a mental ward for 2 days. And it was prolly only so short cos I decided to pretend like I didnt remember what I had said that had made them commit me. So I am officially a nutcase!
But I am looking forward to hearing from all of you and am currently conducting a personal experiment re consciousness which I will make a post about soon re my confusions for further clarifications from the forum community. I have self published a few short essays which are available at this site link:
Smashwords
No great insights into reality there but maybe a better look into my mind.
Be well...