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Post by japhy on Aug 23, 2016 10:14:59 GMT -5
I am checking in here once again. After some months of total absence I wanted to see how this forum is doing and read a few pages...
Greetings to all who still remember me and those who don't.
I just came back from two weeks of hiking, carrying food for a week, sleeping in basic shelters and so on. I hoped that it might bring some clarity and there was nothing else to do. There were some special moments but no great woho experience. Ambition has gone. When I first found non dual teachings and meditation i thought: that's it.
I had some insights and some wooho. Nowadays the teachings are not new and I rarely meditate. A certain lightness of experience which was there has gone.
I am aware of some good conditioning which still is there. Where?
I am a bit hopeless and lost. A friend of mine who was seeking with me nowadays gets angry about "all those teachers", because they become a voice in his head.
What is there to do? I really don't know. For now I'm having cake and Hit choclate.
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Post by maxdprophet on Aug 23, 2016 10:27:06 GMT -5
I am checking in here once again. After some months of total absence I wanted to see how this forum is doing and read a few pages... Greetings to all who still remember me and those who don't. I just came back from two weeks of hiking, carrying food for a week, sleeping in basic shelters and so on. I hoped that it might bring some clarity and there was nothing else to do. There were some special moments but no great woho experience. Ambition has gone. When I first found non dual teachings and meditation i thought: that's it. I had some insights and some wooho. Nowadays the teachings are not new and I rarely meditate. A certain lightness of experience which was there has gone. I am aware of some good conditioning which still is there. Where? I am a bit hopeless and lost. A friend of mine who was seeking with me nowadays gets angry about "all those teachers", because they become a voice in his head. What is there to do? I really don't know. For now I'm having cake and Hit choclate. do you feel hopeless and lost eating cake and Hit? |
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Post by japhy on Aug 23, 2016 10:37:06 GMT -5
do you feel hopeless and lost eating cake and Hit? No of course not. Action and eating comes and everything disappears but somehow i return to that basis later on. |
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Post by Deleted on Aug 23, 2016 10:45:42 GMT -5
do you feel hopeless and lost eating cake and Hit? No of course not. Action and eating comes and everything disappears but somehow i return to that basis later on. Cake is always good. Find out who is eating the cake. |
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Post by maxdprophet on Aug 23, 2016 10:45:49 GMT -5
do you feel hopeless and lost eating cake and Hit? No of course not. Action and eating comes and everything disappears but somehow i return to that basis later on. Is it like a honeymoon period has wore off? |
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Post by Deleted on Aug 23, 2016 10:57:44 GMT -5
No of course not. Action and eating comes and everything disappears but somehow i return to that basis later on. Cake is always good. Find out who is eating the cake. Yes, if you can find that one, then he will have found the one that wonders ' what is there to do'...  |
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Post by japhy on Aug 23, 2016 11:22:52 GMT -5
Cake is always good. Find out who is eating the cake. Why are you always telling me the same (you not personally)? |
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Post by japhy on Aug 23, 2016 11:25:15 GMT -5
Is it like a honeymoon period has wore off? Yes. I am an addict who wants more honeymoon. Marriages bores me. And don't tell me to find the one who is bored :-(. |
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Post by zendancer on Aug 23, 2016 11:50:07 GMT -5
do you feel hopeless and lost eating cake and Hit? No of course not. Action and eating comes and everything disappears but somehow i return to that basis later on. That's a significant clue. It might even make a great koan: "Why do I feel fine when I'm absorbed in some real-life activity, but not so fine when I start reflecting about life?" During a question/answer period someone once asked a sage, "When I'm here on retreat, I feel great, and I have no problems, but when I return home, all of my old problems return." The sage responded, "Find out what you're doing differently here than when you return home." |
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Post by maxdprophet on Aug 23, 2016 11:57:03 GMT -5
Is it like a honeymoon period has wore off? Yes. I am an addict who wants more honeymoon. Marriages bores me. And don't tell me to find the one who is bored :-(. Boredom passes like everything else. Maybe instead of taking a HIT just note what boredom feels like in the body. Stick with it til it's gone. What next? |
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Post by stardustpilgrim on Aug 23, 2016 12:07:30 GMT -5
I am checking in here once again. After some months of total absence I wanted to see how this forum is doing and read a few pages... Greetings to all who still remember me and those who don't. I just came back from two weeks of hiking, carrying food for a week, sleeping in basic shelters and so on. I hoped that it might bring some clarity and there was nothing else to do. There were some special moments but no great woho experience. Ambition has gone. When I first found non dual teachings and meditation i thought: that's it. I had some insights and some wooho. Nowadays the teachings are not new and I rarely meditate. A certain lightness of experience which was there has gone. I am aware of some good conditioning which still is there. Where? I am a bit hopeless and lost. A friend of mine who was seeking with me nowadays gets angry about "all those teachers", because they become a voice in his head. What is there to do? I really don't know. For now I'm having cake and Hit choclate. For now, cake and chocolate, no problem. But tomorrow: Do you have an aim in life? What is central to your life? "Build" everything around that. (Ask yourself) What's the next step? Find what will help you fulfill your aim. But then, seeking to fulfill that aim, your aim might change, and then you fulfill that aim (or it might not change). [And at some point you will inevitably come face to face with questions others are suggesting (and probably others), but then they will be, for you, real questions]. .......................... I approach things differently than most others here. Most everybody says, you are OK as you are, you are perfect as you are. I say nonsense. I say there is stuff in you which is causing problems. There are parts/aspects of japhy which are obstructing. These have to be seen, recognized. But then it is worse, maybe most of the japhy you know, is the obstruction. You have asked good and honest questions. I'd say the good and honest japhy is underneath the bored japhy. I say the lost and hopeless japhy is the real japhy and is sneaking into your consciousness, and causing what you are experiencing (so it is a good thing actually). There is disparity between let's say japhy #1 and japhy #2. But most here are going to say this is nonsense, there is only one. But for japhy (and mostly everyone), there is the real japhy and there is an imitation/usurping "false" japhy. One can be seen, the ~Other~ can't be seen. So, just something to ponder. |
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Post by japhy on Aug 23, 2016 13:25:26 GMT -5
That's a significant clue. It might even make a great koan: "Why do I feel fine when I'm absorbed in some real-life activity, but not so fine when I start reflecting about life?" During a question/answer period someone once asked a sage, "When I'm here on retreat, I feel great, and I have no problems, but when I return home, all of my old problems return." The sage responded, "Find out what you're doing differently here than when you return home." This might not be the way to answer a koan, but I just want to be honest. Sometimes there is "nothing to do". Thinking starts. Even sometimes I have something to do, still there is thinking. Sometimes there is perfect quietness. Rarely. Yesterday I found an ax in the woods and i was making firewood and then suddenly I made a sculpture out of a stem. I had never done that before. Perfect absorbtion. I am talking and missing the point, maybe. But something wants to talk. There is a point that I miss in your "teaching" or maybe our experience is just too different. What about strong emotions and their connection to thought? You never talk about that. Maybe it is not a topic for you. But for me it is. A part of me doesn't want to be quiet. It wants to avoid fear and pain. Yesterday at night my mind settled down. I was sitting there. It felt significant. But with time I became aware of a strong pain. First I observed, but it became to bad. I don't think it was because of posture. It was just there. I decided to go to sleep, but something wants to know where that pain came from. |
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Post by japhy on Aug 23, 2016 13:29:25 GMT -5
Boredom passes like everything else. Maybe instead of taking a HIT just note what boredom feels like in the body. Stick with it til it's gone. What next? It has not passed yet. It's not constantly there, but it often comes. I know, where it "lives" in the body. I observe until I become bored of observing or something happens. But then it comes back. |
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Post by maxdprophet on Aug 23, 2016 13:37:07 GMT -5
Boredom passes like everything else. Maybe instead of taking a HIT just note what boredom feels like in the body. Stick with it til it's gone. What next? It has not passed yet. It's not constantly there, but it often comes. I know, where it "lives" in the body. I observe until I become bored of observing or something happens. But then it comes back.
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence
In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
‘Neath the halo of a streetlamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence
And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
No one dare
Disturb the sound of silence
“Fools” said I, “You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you”
But my words like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence
And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said “The words of the prophets
Are written on subway walls
And tenement halls
And whispered in the sounds of silence” |
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Post by japhy on Aug 23, 2016 13:42:23 GMT -5
For now, cake and chocolate, no problem. But tomorrow: Do you have an aim in life? What is central to your life? "Build" everything around that. (Ask yourself) What's the next step? Find what will help you fulfill your aim. But then, seeking to fulfill that aim, your aim might change, and then you fulfill that aim (or it might not change). [And at some point you will inevitably come face to face with questions others are suggesting (and probably others), but then they will be, for you, real questions]. .......................... I approach things differently than most others here. Most everybody says, you are OK as you are, you are perfect as you are. I say nonsense. I say there is stuff in you which is causing problems. There are parts/aspects of japhy which are obstructing. These have to be seen, recognized. But then it is worse, maybe most of the japhy you know, is the obstruction. You have asked good and honest questions. I'd say the good and honest japhy is underneath the bored japhy. I say the lost and hopeless japhy is the real japhy and is sneaking into your consciousness, and causing what you are experiencing (so it is a good thing actually). There is disparity between let's say japhy #1 and japhy #2. But most here are going to say this is nonsense, there is only one. But for japhy (and mostly everyone), there is the real japhy and there is an imitation/usurping "false" japhy. One can be seen, the ~Other~ can't be seen. So, just something to ponder. Hey sdp, I wouldn't say I have an aim in life. But now starting to think what could be my aim leads to more confusion. Maybe asking myself whats the next step to do and then doing it. But right now: I don't have anything to do. Certainly there is a lot of "false japhy" too. But what now? |
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