Introduction

[paramartha]

Hello all. My name is Joseph. I have joined this forum with the intention and hope of meeting like minded individuals who are dedicated to realizing the Great Reality and attaining liberation from suffering. Specifically, it would be an incredible boon to make contact with Michael Langford. I am currently engaged in self enquiry using the "Awareness Watching Awareness" method that is shared on www.albigen.com. I purchased Mr. Langford's book, "The Direct Means To Eternal Bliss" this past January. I have since purchased 14 more of his books for additional help and encouragement.

I began looking for a solution to suffering at a young age. By the age of 8 I had determined that my mind was the primary cause of my suffering and I wished to master and control it. The question, "Who Thinks The Thinker?" had arisen spontaneously and I would spend many hours alone contemplating it.

Over the years, this led me to discover many teachings and methods for achieving mastery over the mind and body, with the ultimate goal of complete and total liberation from suffering. Toward that end, my first serious attempt at a better understanding of my mind led me to study Jungian Psychology, while also participating in Jungian Analysis during the eighties.

In 1991, I began practicing zazen and soon engaged in koan practice under a teacher in the Sanbo Kyodan lineage of Zen. I was ordained in 1997 by the same teacher and continued my training for another seven years with him.

In 2008 I began monastic training under a dharma heir of Uchiyama Roshi in the Soto school of Zen. I was completely blown away with Dogen's Shobogenzo and had been practicing shikantaza for a long time anyway. I felt it best to learn and study Dogen's teaching from a master of his school.

During this period I was also introduced to Nisargadatta's "I AM THAT." In 2010 I had a big dream that advised me to leave this teacher and abandon Zen training completely. It advised me to study Advaita Vedanta exclusively.

I have since spent the last six years studying Advaita Vedanta from a traditional Indian guru. Having fully understood the teaching, I know that I am not this body/mind complex and that I am the Self or Consciousness Absolute. I am thoroughly convinced, without doubt, and yet, I still suffer.

This has convinced me to take up Ramana Maharshi's self enquiry. For me, this seems a natural progression in my life long obsession of "who thinks the thinker?" The thinker, the mind, is a phantom. It is time for it to go.

[jay17]

Two identical glasses, each with liquid in them.
One contains clean healthy mountain stream water,
the other also contains water but includes bacteria that causes illness and vomiting.
You drink them both, and subsequently become ill and start vomiting.
Was the problem the containers?

[laughter]

Apr 19, 2016 12:20:37 GMT -5 paramartha said:

I have since spent the last six years studying Advaita Vedanta from a traditional Indian guru. Having fully understood the teaching, I know that I am not this body/mind complex and that I am the Self or Consciousness Absolute. I am thoroughly convinced, without doubt, and yet, I still suffer.

Hey Joe, thanks for sharing your story, and thanks for the self-honesty. It's all you need, right there.

[stardustpilgrim]

Apr 19, 2016 12:20:37 GMT -5 paramartha said:

Hello all. My name is Joseph. I have joined this forum with the intention and hope of meeting like minded individuals who are dedicated to realizing the Great Reality and attaining liberation from suffering. Specifically, it would be an incredible boon to make contact with Michael Langford. I am currently engaged in self enquiry using the "Awareness Watching Awareness" method that is shared on www.albigen.com. I purchased Mr. Langford's book, "The Direct Means To Eternal Bliss" this past January. I have since purchased 14 more of his books for additional help and encouragement.

I began looking for a solution to suffering at a young age. By the age of 8 I had determined that my mind was the primary cause of my suffering and I wished to master and control it. The question, "Who Thinks The Thinker?" had arisen spontaneously and I would spend many hours alone contemplating it.

Over the years, this led me to discover many teachings and methods for achieving mastery over the mind and body, with the ultimate goal of complete and total liberation from suffering. Toward that end, my first serious attempt at a better understanding of my mind led me to study Jungian Psychology, while also participating in Jungian Analysis during the eighties.

In 1991, I began practicing zazen and soon engaged in koan practice under a teacher in the Sanbo Kyodan lineage of Zen. I was ordained in 1997 by the same teacher and continued my training for another seven years with him.

In 2008 I began monastic training under a dharma heir of Uchiyama Roshi in the Soto school of Zen. I was completely blown away with Dogen's Shobogenzo and had been practicing shikantaza for a long time anyway. I felt it best to learn and study Dogen's teaching from a master of his school.

During this period I was also introduced to Nisargadatta's "I AM THAT." In 2010 I had a big dream that advised me to leave this teacher and abandon Zen training completely. It advised me to study Advaita Vedanta exclusively.

I have since spent the last six years studying Advaita Vedanta from a traditional Indian guru. Having fully understood the teaching, I know that I am not this body/mind complex and that I am the Self or Consciousness Absolute. I am thoroughly convinced, without doubt, and yet, I still suffer.

This has convinced me to take up Ramana Maharshi's self enquiry. For me, this seems a natural progression in my life long obsession of "who thinks the thinker?" The thinker, the mind, is a phantom. It is time for it to go.

Hey Joseph...Just yesterday I was browsing again this book I've had for a good while, Sudden Awakening into direct realization by eli Jackson-bear, 2004. eli had been on the spiritual journey for years. In 1971 at 24 he confronted death and had a dramatic awakening alone in a cabin in Colorado, hiding from federal authorities because of freeing a prisoner involved with Vietnam War protests. He then had a desire to share what he had "found" with others. He described this as awakening to his true nature as empty immortal consciousness. However, he said his egoic mind returned and he continued to suffer. So he then spent 18 years trying to solve this "problem". In 1978 he took bodhisattva vows under Kalu Rinpoche. He met with Muktananda in Oakland, Calif. He then spent 5 years with a Chinese Taoist teacher. He then spent time in the ChoShoJi Zen Temple in Japan under O'Jaiisan. Then in the late 1980's he was initiated into Sufism in Morocco. Then he met H.W.L. Poonja, Papaji. He said this was the end of his journey. He said it is possible to "come to understand the prison of mind that we are all born into, and receive the keys to your escape". (pg xvi)

So it seems that ego is the trap, the culprit. I concur. If ego remains in control, suffering will continue. Basically, the job description of ego is, that which causes havoc and suffering.. Now, where I depart with most people here on ST's is concerning the source of ego, I say ego is so stubborn and persistent because it exists as associative patterns as the neural structure of the brain (I'm not real popular around these parts). Ego virtually exists as reflex patterns in the brain, when an outward stimulus enters through the sensory system, it activates this associative neural structure, and ego almost cannot not erupt. The solution is not to be identified with ego. This is exceptionally difficult, to do. I mean, because, that's you. We can even understand conceptually, that ego is not who we are, but that doesn't stop the force of ego. Ego just jumps up to take center place, ego just gets automatically activated.

For me, attention (as well as awareness) is the way out. Normally, one's attention is captured and held by some thought, feeling, action and these usually initiated by some exterior event, place, thing or person. So, the ~process~ is to ~separate out~ attention from thinking, feeling/emotions and actions (I've read Langford's mentioned book, this is essentially what he's showing you to do by a sort of programmed text. You have to follow the words, but then actually do it, do what the words point to). This essentially means you cease saying "I" to what you think, feel and do. So, when attention ceases to be held and captured by people, places, things; thoughts, feelings, actions, you will cease to suffer. Try it. (Giving no spoilers). Now, to do this is to stay in the present moment. Ego lives in and by time. Ego consists of the past through memory and the future through imagination. So if one actually stays in the present moment, suffering ceases. Try it. Now, also, if one persists in this, the associative neural network actually begins to break up. (This is possible from what is now known as neuroplasticity). This is the beginning of real freedom. Try it, or not. (If you look at I Am That carefully, this was essentially the practice of Niz for three years. This is essentially what remaining in the I Am, is. And so, it is a specific actual practice).