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Post by psychoslice on Aug 3, 2015 23:00:43 GMT -5
Advaita isn't important to me because its who I am, its simply living life as life, when we live or truly living we don't even think about Advaita, its like when we are healthy we don't think about the body and its function, that is until there is a problem with whatever area of the body, and this is the same with Advaita.
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Post by psychoslice on Aug 4, 2015 0:45:29 GMT -5
Advaita isn't important to me because its who I am, its simply living life as life, when we live or truly living we don't even think about Advaita, its like when we are healthy we don't think about the body and its function, that is until there is a problem with whatever area of the body, and this is the same with Advaita. Dood, haven't seen you for a few years. 'Tis me, AC, from the old days of spiritualforums.com Wonderful to see you're still alive and kicking and doing well. AC ?, gee I'm sorry I can't remember the name, I feel embarrassed lol.
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Post by psychoslice on Aug 5, 2015 0:35:30 GMT -5
AC ?, gee I'm sorry I can't remember the name, I feel embarrassed lol. I understand, it's a socially\evolutionary conditioned response to feel embarrassment, but please do not feel bad on my account. Alternate Carpark...then i changed it to Mountain-Goat. Hey!!, I remember now, I was once scared of you, that is until I got to know you better, wow, its good to hear from you.
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Post by psychoslice on Aug 5, 2015 0:45:42 GMT -5
Hey jay17, didn't you have some really great music that you made, with a little piece of the Simpsons in it ?.
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Post by psychoslice on Aug 6, 2015 0:04:00 GMT -5
Hey jay17, didn't you have some really great music that you made, with a little piece of the Simpsons in it ?. Nice. I was thinking about you after i saw you were here and i reminisced that you were quite fond of one track. 'Forest descent' if memory serves correct. Haha, yeah the one with Homer sound bites in it. The song was a first attempt at 'hard core', and Homer was at a rave struggling to keep up with the pace of the dancing. I made most of those songs in the several months space between living in me car and my suicide attempt and profound spiritual experience at the psych ward afterwards. I still listen to them on me mp3 player. Haven't allocated any more time to developing my musical skills. Been busy with writing. What's up with you, how's your journey going ? Yes I have still got your music somewhere on a storage box, I have also been in and out of the mental ward, I think I like it there, the people are on my level of thinking so I have a good time when I'm there, and yea, I love the pudding lol. I don't really try to comment suicide, but I do cut my arms till they bleed, it makes me feel better, most people cannot understand that, but I don't care I'm not most people lol.
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Post by psychoslice on Aug 6, 2015 20:35:28 GMT -5
I came across a Mark Twain quote recently where he says...wait, fone's close by, i will look for it...~searches~... "When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained." - Marl Twain During the 20-30 year self discovery journey, i have unraveled\discovered and understood all my internal mysteries so that i am no longer suffering, and what has resulted is a profound state of peace, joy, contentment that is active within nearly all of life's situations. And i have discovered something quite remarkable and wondrous...a mystery is usually perceived as something huge and complex, beyond one's range of ability to comprehend. One is then overwhelmed and thus unable or unwilling to venture in, to face it, to do something about it, to resolve\change it. But every mystery of my soul that i have explored turned out to be based on very small and simple mechanisms. I am pretty confident i understand the mechanisms, or paths to explore, that drive you to cutting yourself and why it makes you feel better, and that i empathize with you, as my life was well over 50% of unconscious self harm. PM me if you would like to hear my thoughts on the matter. Though i will lovingly warn you this involves self exploration, thus getting closer to wounds, thus a potential increase in pain as you do. Though you have always seemed pretty strong in soul to me as we got to hang out together more. I have learnt that in order to heal a wound, you have to interact with it and that naturally will mean an initial increase in pain. But you know what they say, "No pain, no gain." I think I remember you had your story of going through your recovery on SF ?, I am also right now contented and happy, its a deep appreciation for life, even though I fall into psychosis once in awhile, its seems that people and their neurosis stir something inside of me, its could be just paranoia ?.I see myself as I am now someone who has awakened from a dream, well at least one dream, which was my dream of separation, but with this feeling comes a little paranoia, as I feel other people around me strongly, I feel the type of people that want to hurt me in whatever way, and I have to get away from them. This paranoia was part of my whole life, but it got a lot worse when I was shot by someone along the highway just out of town, it seems that I attract these people to me ?.I may still need some sort of healing but these days I don't really care, I seem to dissociate myself from my madness, its like its not me, and when I come around to so called being normal, I just carry on as nothing happened. I don't try to own my so called self, and I seem to be separate from the self, its hard to explain, but it does seem to help the living process that must be lived through the mind body.Yes it would be great to hear your thoughts again, and yes you can throw a bit of pain in there also, it may stimulate some within me.
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Post by psychoslice on Aug 8, 2015 19:57:24 GMT -5
Jay17 I have no intentions of inflicting pain in you, psychoslice...that is not what i said. I said self examination can potentially cause self to produce an increase in pain as one is acknowledging and interacting with wounds. Disassociation does not do this as self is avoiding the wound. Self classifies it as 'Not mine to deal with\not a part of me.'
Sorry Jay I was only joking about the pain, yes I have had much pain through my life, not just emotional put physical, I have excepted all that I once couldn't except, but the body itself has a mental continue caused by whatever, its no different than having a body that has heart disease, or any of the hundreds of ailments that one may have, or born into. But I know deep within that I am not just the body, and this has helped in balancing the condition, and the life that I am here to enjoy. I suppose we are all original, and we all need to find the best way for our originality, some just drown in their infliction feeling sorry for themselves, and I suppose that's the best way they can cope, its their original way, and in the end when the mind body is no longer here, it really doesn't matter, in the end we will all be the same.
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Post by psychoslice on Aug 14, 2015 21:14:18 GMT -5
Hi Jay, yes we have to get to the root of what is causing the pain, one good book I read was "Primal Scream", and another, "Toxic Parents". I also had an experience of disappearing, well that's what it felt like. I was over whelmed in depression, and one night it was all too much, I then fell onto my bed, and that was it, everything changed from there on.
In this disappearance I felt like I was one with all there is, I also felt a sense of security, that nothing can really hurt me, that I wasn't just the body, that I was allness. The next day I felt like the whole world was all brand new, this feeling has never left me, I could try to put a label on it, such as Awakening, but that will only really be parroting someone else's experience and their label, but that is the best I can describe my experience, I feel that it was the same case with you ?.
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