headlessness is so weird

[lightmystic]

Good point Giannis,

Sorry for the delayed response. I had to go out of town for a week.

I know that it can feel sad at first, like you are losing yourself, but the truth is that you are ALREADY that infinite. You are not really the individual you, who never had any separate existence, but are that infinite that you experience as other right now. You are not losing anything that was ever real to begin with. You just exist in a different way than you thought. Nothing will change that hasn't always been the case. I think that perhaps you can take comfort in that.

It can be subtle at first, but putting time an attention on it enlivens it. Can you find that it's always there? Even in the midst of something, if I stopped you and asked if it was there, could you find it?

Sounds like the talking to it might be helping. Is that what you're finding?

Again, I appreciate your making that distinction, as it is an important one. You, as the individual, do not become infinite (at least not at first ). You recognize yourself never to have been the individual at all, and to only have been that infinite the whole time.

That recognition seems to enliven it. So...what are you finding?

Aug 3, 2009 17:51:46 GMT -5 giannis said:

My emotional state has become a roller coaster, between happiness and sadness... This is a slooowww mushroom trip, but there probably is no happy come back.

I just post to mention what I'm thinking, and I'm afraid it's true.

Lmystic, you ask what prevents me from being infinite.
Nisargadata says: I'm "that".
Oriental masters mention that we are the "void".
Christians say "we are the inheritors of the kingdom".

It's not that we are infinite, it's that infinity is everything, and we are not.
All this time I've been trying to prove to myself that I'm infinite, but infinity is, I'm not.
I'm fake.

That's what I see. Sad sad journey..

[zendancer]

Giannis: Here's a little experiment for you to try. Think back to some vivid childhood memory. Then, look around right this moment. Is there any difference between awareness at the time of your early memory and awareness right now? Check for yourself. I think you'll find that awareness hasn't changed at all. Awareness has not aged. It hasn't dimmed. It doesn't own anything. It doesn't need anything. It simply is. So, who, or what, is this awareness that has seen both an outside world (trees, cars, computers, etc.) and an inside world (thoughts, dreams, symbols, etc) during your entire life? What is using your body/mind to see and hear? Don;t try to answer this question intellectually. Just let the question sink into your subconscious. As you go through your day, occasionally ask yourself, "What is it that sees? What is it that hears? What is it that feels?" You already intuitively know that its not Giannis, and you also already know the answer, but it resides at a very deep level of mind, and it often takes a while for the answer to appear. In order for it to appear the observer and the observed have to become one. You have to become unified with awareness.

Different questions resonate with different people. "Who am I?" worked for Ramana Maharshi. "How can I know God?" worked for a friend of mine. "What is mu?" (a famous Zen koan) has worked for many people.

It doesn't take very long to answer some koans, such as, "How can I greet an enlightened master with neither words nor silence?" A few hours of silence and the answer suddenly appears. "What is mu?" usually takes a lot longer. Koans, such as, "Who am I?" take the longest time because our thoughts about who we are are so strong and so long-practiced. Somewhere I read that a Zen Master told a student not to work on "Who am I?" unless he was willing to devote ten years to the issue. I disagree with what he told the student, but he was making a good point about patience and persistence. Jesus taught two parables about persistence, and very few Christians understand what he was talking about. Too much was lost in the translation for his meaning to be clear. One of his stories was about a widow who had a minor grievance. She went to a judge for justice but he was too busy to be bothered. Nevertheless, she persisted until finally the judge was forced to grant her request just to get her out of his hair. It's the "squeaky wheel syndrome." Here is the moral of the story: if you knock on God's door long enough, and hard enough, God will be forced to let you in! He/She/It will have no choice whatsoever! Cheers.

[giannis]

thanks for the answers. thanks indeed.

i've been in nature lately and don't have internet access.

I see what is said, but it's not the relief or the certainty that I've been looking for.
So I'm probably still missing the point.
But life goes on. Lets see what it brings on

[souley]

Aug 20, 2009 15:01:01 GMT -5 giannis said:

thanks for the answers. thanks indeed.

i've been in nature lately and don't have internet access.

I see what is said, but it's not the relief or the certainty that I've been looking for.
So I'm probably still missing the point.
But life goes on. Lets see what it brings on

Sounds good. My take on it is still that intellectually you can't really understand any of this, so there isn't really any point to see. You can intellectually see the dysfunction of egoistic behaviour, and do your best not to resist any feelings or circumstances (which is the fuel of ego). Then understanding will come as the ego drops off and truth can be seen. That is my experience anyway:)

[divinity]

But... who is it that is doing all this perceiving?

[divinitys shadow]

One sees all

One is all

at once

if divinity is actually One

and One is wearing glasses

what is divinity the person

and what does One see?

[lightmystic]

EXACTLY!

Sept 16, 2009 20:52:41 GMT -5 divinity said:

But... who is it that is doing all this perceiving?

[lightmystic]

Yeah, and what are the glasses but Divinity?

Sept 16, 2009 23:00:45 GMT -5 @divinitys shadow said:

One sees all

One is all

at once

if divinity is actually One

and One is wearing glasses

what is divinity the person

and what does One see?

[divinitys shadow]

let divinity play!