CG as Muse

[charliegee]

windswept

feeling pretty happy today
for no real reason
felt sad the other day
didn't know why...
then I realized
none of that is me
they are just clouds
passing through
I am the sky

charlie giardino 8/11/12

[laughter]

Pain hurts
But we can still be grateful for it
To deny we feel it is to deny our humanity

Must one ever be here to accept our humanity?
Ever have been here at all?
The ghost is as the ghost does
Who is it to say what the ghost is? What the ghost isn't?
Chase your shadow with a scale in hand
Cup your hands to catch the wind
Turn your head to chase the path of a photon from the Sun with your eyes

We looked around ... we saw smoke ...
To protest about this, to recoil and exclaim at the transparency of ego ... well ...
O.k. ... no humans ... no Earth ... just All ... the eyes are not your eyes ... the Sun never shone ... yadda yadda ... and yadda
Methinks the ghost doth protest too much
Cheer up, the ego is cheap
You lost nothing but pennies

Joy soars
Up and down up and down
forever and ever
Pain hurts
Up and down up and down
A carousel of lust, the taste of a cream puff, pure tones that tickle the ears
Until they don't

It's not that desire that draws the melancholoy to begin with

We can still be grateful
Even if there is noone to be grateful
Even for the pain
Especially for the pain
The pain is here
The pain is now

We don't have to like it
We can't ignore it
But to curse it
Is to grasp it, cling to it
It langors in the embrace
It lingers in the absence of love

But To see it
To accept it
To feel it
And to always know it to be temporary, not with some promise of the mind, but to know it ... to really know that it is chimera
Even if the interlude intersects with death
Hence to know of the flimsy foundation of the agony at the seeming expense of our lives
Is to let it go
Is to give it love
Is the ultimate expression of gratitude

[charliegee]

first sight

it wouldn't take a sentence
or a paragraph
if you think I need an essay
please don't make me laugh

and I won't need an minute
an hour, day or week
in fact I can be silent
don't even have to speak

and though the months will pass by
and spiral into years
I can serve it up real easy
without ever changing gears

and I won't use no big words
the simple ones are fine
I knew when I first saw you
that I could make you mine

it's not that I'm so special
don't mean it in that way
but the sight of you just floored me
all your beauty on display

your brown hair soft and shiny
your bangs hung past your eyes
I thought that I had come upon
an angel in disguise

you were only twelve years
and I a mere thirteen
but fate arranged a meeting
and love would intervene

won't need a book to tell you
the opposite is true
my eyes, they simply said it
hey baby, I love you

charlie Giardino

[laughter]

Charlie you really bring her to life man. She's beautiful, gentle .. but I bet she had a wild side too.

[charliegee]

in a sense, yes ... thanks man ...

[charliegee]

something like that

he was tired of the questions
no answers ever came anyway
every why gave birth to another one
could it be the questions themselves
were a barrier to truth?
perhaps necessary at the start
but ultimately to be discarded
perhaps the very search for truth
was a hindrance? a barrier?
to be broken down or seen through
could it be that accepting insecurity
could provide the surrender
needed to break the chain?
the ties that bind us to the wheel
maybe trust is the key
like a child who knows nothing
but feels safe in his father's care
who relaxes into the knowledge
that he is loved...
and doesn't even know he knows that
something like that
must be something like that

charlie giardino 8/13/12

[charliegee]

stylin'

my poems sway when
I want them to dance
they are calm and sedate
I need them to prance

I want them to be
I wish they would bop
wouldn't mind if they hip
It'd be cool if they hop

wouldn't care if they strode
with a gait full a swagger
they don't have to sashay
or move it like Jagger

it's real nice when they cut
it's okay if they spoof me
or spin like the wind
or a God-infused Sufi

they can speak of the truth
or traffic in lies
be down to earth
or rise to the skies

and it's all well and good
ain't no feather and tar
'cause maybe my poems
are okay as they are

charlie giardino 8/13/12

[charliegee]

missing you

play another sad one
the happy ones make me ill
what's the sense of aiming
lest you're going for the kill

yeah, I hear the platitudes
I hear em' every day
they're the things that tumble out
when they don't know what to say

and I know they are well meaning
so I take it in my stride
sometimes they just tear me up
eat me up inside

you see I lost my lover
the only one I knew
ain't sayin' it was perfect
but we did what we could do

I pray you never feel it
it's like something torn away
the scars are there forever
no matter what you say

I know they say get over it
but I don't know how to do it
besides you don't get over things
you're lucky to get through it

so next time that you see me
don't tell me what you think
maybe take me out for coffee
or better yet, a drink

sometimes you only get one
and one can be enough
if lightning strikes again
then fate would call my bluff

so play another sad one
don't care 'bout what you think
you can rack 'em up for eight ball
and buy another drink

charlie giardino 8/14/12

[charliegee]

days of grace and love

just another Wednesday
tired as usual
been feeling fatigued lately
could be the new meds I'm on
had some cream of wheat
for breakfast in keeping
with my promise of dropping
a few extra pounds
seems doubly unfair for a guy
who loves sweets to be diabetic
I'm a fellow who enjoys a good meal too
and I have to cut back due to various reasons
diabetes, hypertension, high cholesterol, heart trouble
yeah ,the old triple H and I'm not talking about the wrestler
anyway, my sweet granddaughter Caroline is sixteen today
so we went for lunch at Panera's (don't worry, I behaved)
after that we drove to some teenage trinket store
hats, scarves, earrings, sunglasses and the like
I suddenly feel the call of nature and gingerly
and tight-legged made it over to Daffy's
at the other side of the mall, I find the bathroom
entered and find a guy cleaning the bowl
I figured he worked there and was tidying up
I asked him if I could use the now clean facilities
but it turns out he was an employee and was cleaning
things up for his own personal use...
he saw the pained look on my face and said I could
walk back across the mall to another store
and use their bathroom, I shook my head gravely
and told him I'd never make it...
to put it nicely number one was not my problem
he then graciously gave up the only seat in the house
and asked me to hurry and finish which I did
I washed my hands and thanked him profusely
for this great act of kindness...
suppose it's not something that would make the papers
but I really think it should...
so many captions come to mind which I'll leave to your imagination
leaving the john renewed, relieved and refreshed
I started to look around, browse if you will
and if you won't, you know I would
found a couple of hats on sale and was about to go to the cashier
when what to my wandering eyes should appear
only the pair of shoes I've been looking for (for years)
I've had recurring dreams dating back to my teen years
about finding these shoes but never did whether waking or sleeping
a pair of brown wingtip boots and god, they were beautiful
they had my size too and I gladly paid for them
half price to boot (no pun intended)
I felt especially blessed of God this Wednesday
this day of grace, of kindness
not to mention the saving of soles

charlie giardino 8/15/12

[charliegee]

sinners all, we are blessed



I see you there

with that thousand-mile stare

unseeing globes of regret

that glare into a past

you won't soon forget



the past is present

in all that you do

the past re-presents

the future to you

is there a way out?



ashes, ashes

we all fall down

as long as we believe

there is no way up

there isn't one



we all fall, we all fail

everyone cries

no two ways about it

we only rise when every scheme

falls flat, dies of exhaustion



there is one that can help

he resides at the end of the rope

where light has failed

and hope goes to die

he waits, no chastisement



no reproof, just open arms

question is, can we face

that terrible mercy

that all abiding love

judgment we understand



chastisement we expect

we welcome it

punishment we deserve

we crave it deeply

but love?



after all we've done?

we don't deserve favor

how can someone forgive us

it's ghastly, inhuman

and that is exactly right



all we have to do

is accept the gift

sometimes it is truly blessed

to receive especially

a gift like this...



grace sees no failures

grace sees only love...



only love...



charlie giardino 8/18/12

[charliegee]

coming before you

shattered by your elegance
your stunning presence
I dare not approach
the throne of your grace

tethered to my sins
how does one come near
your brilliance blinds
your loveliness shimmers

do I crawl before your majesty
ashamed and unworthy
dressed in rags
I proceed nonetheless

a rejection from you far surpasses
the assent of any other
it is you I want, you I need
I knew when I saw you

so forgive me my indecencies
for I am a lost, unworthy man
the lowest of the low
I do know one thing though

I say it in most indelicate terms
my peasant stature bows before you
my simple words pledge allegiance
and declare my love

there is none but you
and I'd rather stay alone
than settle for a substitute
I know I failed you a thousand times

fool that I am
but my heart, my mind, my soul
is yours and yours alone
take it to yours and seal my joy

the earth hangs in the balance

charlie gee 8/19/12

[charliegee]

early morning lament

I hide as much as I reveal
my nature will conceal
I'm a stranger to my self
with secrets on a shelf

the love I have is real
the compassion that I feel
but there's another side
a smattering of pride

a measure of conceit
a joy that's incomplete
it wrestles with my heart
tearing me apart

my message of love
just can't rise above
the darkness that cajoles
taunting at my soul

it echoes 'go destroy'
what good are you dear boy?
it snickers when I fall
a witness to it all

it mocks my great pretense
the love that seems intense
that litters all the pages
that whimpers as it rages

though sinner that I am
a farce, a worthless sham
god knows that I am his
that's just the way it is

so I go on my way
I plead and try to pray
even in my disgrace
god shows me his face

in the people that he sends
in the presence of my friends
in the love they always bring
my weary heart will sing

charlie giardino 8/20/12

[charliegee]

8/20/66

still remember the night
how could I forget?
church hall on east 62nd street
our wedding day

you in your $69.00 dress
that would equal any princess
such was your beauty
your mind altering loveliness

you were my girl
we went out for seven years
before we took our vows
and we took them to heart

today would have been
our 46th anniversary
we never got the chance
to get old together

to be one of those couples
who got on each other's nerves
for this or for that
but at the end of the day

we'd have been there for each other
just like we always were
love you my only one
happy anniversary darling

and hey, save a seat for me
and could you cook me some pasta
when I get there?
I miss waking up to the scent

of meatballs frying in the pan
that meant Sunday morning to me
but you know I miss you more
man, I miss you more

charlie gee 8/20/12

[charliegee]

love

love is something, isn't it?
greater minds have tried their hands
at forging a proper explanation
but it defies all expression

and yet, what is it but love
that consumes our time?
without it there'd be a dearth of books
a shortage of films, a paucity of songs

love found, love lost, love yearned for
the regret we feel when a love
ends badly fuels many a poet's works
the blossoming of new love just as well

the feeling in the stomach
the walking on air giddiness
the inability to think of anything else
but the beloved, the beau, the beauty

and when love is lost forever
to the cruel dictates of death
is there a more hurtful thing?
darkness descends so deeply

and yet, we take it lightly
as if the one before us
will always be there
take it from me, they won't

the point of all this?
cherish, cherish, cherish
sure they can be a pain in the ass
but think of life without them

ah love...
it's really something, isn't it?

charlie giardino 8/21/12

[charliegee]

the veil

she walks to me now
on the archway of dreams
her voice echoes softly
bidding me to come

casting aside my sins
dismissing all my lies
she wants only me
the heart of me

that she knows so well
all I want is her
her immaculate beauty
her unblemished soul

and so we meet briefly
nothing to separate us
nothing, that is
but life and death

charlie giardino 8/22/12