freejoy wrote:
Why do enlightened people laugh at suffering?
I have not seen this personally. I lived in India for a few years. I experience much compassion. I do think some "heady' ego driven folks that thing they are enlighten because they "believed they figured it all out in their heads can be that way at times.[/color]
I use to want what God wants.
God wants you only to truly love Freejoy[/color]
I think I want solitary confinement. I found more peace there.
Lol I often felt this way toooo[/color]
I want a helium tank, a few potent sleeping pills, and a little pop-up tent.
What with the helium tank?[/color]
All's well that ends well
Does anything truly have a end?[/color]
NBisH
[/quote]
helium tank = painless death of the illusionary organism ;D
That way I start over. Or I go to the great oblivion in the sky. Or I turn into a ghost and hunt to desert land. Or I return to the ocean of nothingness/everything from which I came.
Oblivion sounds so good sometimes.
[/quote]
freejoy ...... I know about the ace-up-the-sleeve-thingy. For about a year, from about March 1975-March 1976, I was suicidal. Two different periods during that time, pretty bad. I had learned about making decisions in a good frame of mind, so I made the decision not to kill myself. So, during those two really bad time-frames, constantly on my mind was the thought, no matter what happens, don't kill yourself. To be conservative, I brought that thought ten times an hour.........(over a week each time).....
When I got through the second time, I knew things had to change (as in, if I couldn't find real meaning in life, and the suicide thing kept being there, I'd get "professional"-shrink-type help).......
Well........I found the meaning, but I kept that ace up my sleeve for quite some time.......years.....many years..... It's still around somewhere, but I forgot where I hid it..............
My thing was I couldn't see tomorrow. I couldn't see what I'd be doing months ahead, years ahead. Life was such a fracking burden.....the pain........the psychological pain. I found the right word later, angst.
One thing I learned was that this angst was connected with the future, that if I could live in the present moment, the pain went away. I liked to ice skate. I learned to stop thoughts by watching my legs while skating. So, for mostly two-three hours at a time, several times a week, I made the suffering go away........and then I learned other means......
During my bad times, sometimes all I could do was literally put one foot in front the other. My life extended about three seconds into the future, period........literally.......
When this has come up a time or two before I thought about posting to you, but didn't. .......... So, just telling you I get it. That ace up the sleeve actually made life easier....in a way..... I always knew that if things got really-too-bad, I had an exit stragedy....but now.........not really needed............
And, Buddhism is really cheap....... Buddha essentially said, I can show you the way to end suffering....... But that goal is so-way-too-small.......cheap..........
All I can really say is you've done
way too much work to flush it down the drain.......by checking out early...........But it's all on you........If we get good instruction, then it's all on you.........
One more thing, don't believe in your thoughts and emotions,
don't believe that they are
you. Don't say "I" to anything you think or feel. Ever go to a parade? Just think of your thoughts and emotions as part of a parade, with you standing on the side of the street watching them march by, objectively, impartially....
These thoughts of suicide are just part of the parade. I know that's
very hard to do, but try, even theoretically.....
sdp
