fear
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Posts: 128
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Post by fear on Dec 18, 2008 23:52:55 GMT -5
As they say hindsight is 20/20, there are many times when I've reached a fork in the road and chosen the wrong path. When I think about it later it is obvious that I chose the easiest path instead of the difficult one. So does this mean that easy means wrong? Probably.
There are other, fewer times when I've chosen the more difficult road and the experience has been amazing.
One example of this is road rage where someone cuts you off or there is very heavy traffic and you can feel your blood beginning to boil and the anger just starts filling your thoughts and you just want to hurt someone and the words coming out of your mouth would make your grandmother turn in her grave (well as least mine).
One day this lady driver chose to cut me off and slam on her brakes so I almost slammed into her car and when I went around her she flips me the finger. I almost hit the roof, on a scale of 1-10 for anger I was an 11. This was the fork in the road, I wanted to retaliate, I wanted revenge, I wanted to be angry and make someone suffer, this would be very very easy to do but for some reason and I don't know how I got the strength to do this, I decided to breathe and try and relax and calm down and as stupid as it seemed at the time, forgive her. I was aware that this lady whom I didn't know or care about had managed to get under my skin and ruin my day. I realized that it was me ruining my own day and if I was just able to let things go my life would be much less stressful.
In this case I chose the right path and the difference has been amazing, because if you can do it once it's easier the second time and so on. Now I can drive with ease in the worst traffic (downtown Toronto 5pm), with the worst drivers and I do have moments where I'm not pleased with the situation and I will deal with it but as soon as it's passed I let it go. There aren't too many drivers that can get under my skin now and I thank that one crazy lady driver for teaching me this lesson.
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Post by african on Dec 19, 2008 7:52:14 GMT -5
Yeah man u did well...sometimes anger just results in our own suffering and not those to whom we direct it. Bless!
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Post by commiejesus on Dec 20, 2008 11:34:15 GMT -5
anger stems from fear (no pun intended on your screen name  , fear stems from the unknown and fearing death...both are unhealthy creatures of the lower self and mind. When we consciously remind ourselves that death is nothing but an illusion and "fear" is nothing but a bug on the sunlit wall...things get better and easier, but this all takes work and constant reminder. As they say hindsight is 20/20, there are many times when I've reached a fork in the road and chosen the wrong path. When I think about it later it is obvious that I chose the easiest path instead of the difficult one. So does this mean that easy means wrong? Probably. There are other, fewer times when I've chosen the more difficult road and the experience has been amazing. One example of this is road rage where someone cuts you off or there is very heavy traffic and you can feel your blood beginning to boil and the anger just starts filling your thoughts and you just want to hurt someone and the words coming out of your mouth would make your grandmother turn in her grave (well as least mine). One day this lady driver chose to cut me off and slam on her brakes so I almost slammed into her car and when I went around her she flips me the finger. I almost hit the roof, on a scale of 1-10 for anger I was an 11. This was the fork in the road, I wanted to retaliate, I wanted revenge, I wanted to be angry and make someone suffer, this would be very very easy to do but for some reason and I don't know how I got the strength to do this, I decided to breathe and try and relax and calm down and as stupid as it seemed at the time, forgive her. I was aware that this lady whom I didn't know or care about had managed to get under my skin and ruin my day. I realized that it was me ruining my own day and if I was just able to let things go my life would be much less stressful. In this case I chose the right path and the difference has been amazing, because if you can do it once it's easier the second time and so on. Now I can drive with ease in the worst traffic (downtown Toronto 5pm), with the worst drivers and I do have moments where I'm not pleased with the situation and I will deal with it but as soon as it's passed I let it go. There aren't too many drivers that can get under my skin now and I thank that one crazy lady driver for teaching me this lesson.
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fear
Full Member
Posts: 128
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Post by fear on Dec 21, 2008 14:21:40 GMT -5
I agree commiejesus that anger stems from fear, and yes they are creatures of your lower self but the lower self, 'is you'! The higher self just is, it lives in the moment, anything involving thought and mind (as we know it) is the lower self. So you reminding yourself that fear is an illusion is your lower self reminding your lower self hoping that something will come out of it. The higher self is coming through and the lower self interprets it as "I need to change", so we try and change our lower self into a higher self, an impossible task. So somehow the lower self has to drop off, not change, how to do this, who knows?
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Post by lightmystic on Dec 22, 2008 13:24:09 GMT -5
Nicely said fear. It's interesting, though, as I find that the lower self never drops off. It simply is clearly seen to be an illusion. I can see my illusory self now, and I actually appreciate it very much now that there is no threat of it limiting me. As my little self is seen to be illusory, so is all of experience, which brings a certain safety and fascination to everything. In terms of how to do that. Are you Aware right now...? Can you know that...? Is it not self evident? That is the only thing going on. Everything else rises within your awareness, including any ideas, experiences, or opinions of separateness. It is available at every moment, and gently feeling these intense fears that naturally come out of the idea of separateness will allow us to see that they are just ideas. Nothing more. Then they are safe, and the reality of what is really going on can be clearly enjoyed. Make sense? I agree commiejesus that anger stems from fear, and yes they are creatures of your lower self but the lower self, 'is you'! The higher self just is, it lives in the moment, anything involving thought and mind (as we know it) is the lower self. So you reminding yourself that fear is an illusion is your lower self reminding your lower self hoping that something will come out of it. The higher self is coming through and the lower self interprets it as "I need to change", so we try and change our lower self into a higher self, an impossible task. So somehow the lower self has to drop off, not change, how to do this, who knows? |
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Post by klaus on Dec 22, 2008 17:39:46 GMT -5
If you realize there is only anger and no "I" to be angry the anger diappears.
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Post by commiejesus on Dec 23, 2008 2:29:38 GMT -5
Just a quick follow up. When I said "reminder", I was referring to a state of mind, called self-awareness. This is mentioned by many spiritual teachers but it only makes sense when someone starts practicing it. It is constant monitoring of ones thoughts and emotions. When living in the mundane word emotions of others can be of some influence. This must be shrugged off. I would say 99.99 percent of the population practices instinctive herd like living. They are like sheep or wolves..They are constantly influenced by the emotions of others. But anger and other emotions of ill effect can be stopped and eventually they will depart as good habits are friends and allies, as much as bad habits are unsavory friends of ill repute....
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Morrie
New Member
"Nothing is me" is the first step. "Everything is me" is the next.
Posts: 38
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Post by Morrie on Dec 23, 2008 10:59:52 GMT -5
I would say 99.99 percent of the population practices instinctive herd like living. They are like sheep or wolves..They are constantly influenced by the emotions of others. But anger and other emotions of ill effect can be stopped and eventually they will depart as good habits are friends and allies, as much as bad habits are unsavory friends of ill repute.... CJ, I think what you are saying here is very true...it's sad how many people I encounter on a day to day basis who let their emotions and fears control their entire lives.....and they don't even realize it! |
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fear
Full Member
Posts: 128
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Post by fear on Dec 23, 2008 15:35:25 GMT -5
Lightmystic, if the lower self is clearly seen as an illusion then it cannot be you, just like if you were watching a movie knowing it's an illusion and not identifying with it. What happens if you look away so not looking at the illusion or movie, where is it then? Not in you, so it must have dropped off. When you are not looking at it, it cannot exist.
As Nisargadatta said " the world cannot exist without me".
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Post by lightmystic on Dec 23, 2008 17:36:34 GMT -5
Well, it's not that it isn't me, it's just not me more than anything else is me. All appearance of separation is an illusion, not just the appearance of an individual. How can it be otherwise? It's perhaps like discovering that my "individual self" is the finger in my cosmic body of Creation. The actual experience is edgeless, but let's work with this. I thought I was the finger, and then discovered that I was the entire person the whole time. So does the finger "drop off"? Of course not. It's still there, and it will always be, but there's no separation. It's all "me". I encompass and contain it all. Nothing is outside my unbroken Awareness. So, given that, of course the world cannot exist without me, the two are inextricably linked. Like The sage Vasishta says, if there is a gold bracelet, you cannot separate the "gold" from the "bracelet". Similarly, you cannot separate me from the world. Does that make sense? Lightmystic, if the lower self is clearly seen as an illusion then it cannot be you, just like if you were watching a movie knowing it's an illusion and not identifying with it. What happens if you look away so not looking at the illusion or movie, where is it then? Not in you, so it must have dropped off. When you are not looking at it, it cannot exist. As Nisargadatta said " the world cannot exist without me". |
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, fear stems from the unknown and fearing death...both are unhealthy creatures of the lower self and mind. When we consciously remind ourselves that death is nothing but an illusion and "fear" is nothing but a bug on the sunlit wall...things get better and easier, but this all takes work and constant reminder.