For those who seek personal growth & development

[Peter]

Jul 14, 2013 11:02:24 GMT -5 Peter said:

Incidentally, I am putting myself back in for some "crap sorting" this summer with several weeks of intensive Core Process Psychotherapy. Got that gaping black pit of need and abandonment firmly by the horns, and we'll see what can be done about that.

Hmm, that original thread was going all over the place. I'll start a new one for those actually trying to do Personal Growth. I invite posts here from those students who have signed up to the Human Experience 101 "I've got more to learn" syllabus.

Saw my guy this week. Was good, didn't play any games (eg look me I smart, love me) like I did the last time I spoke to someone of his ilk. Just laid it all out, whats going on with me, where I'm at, what major life changers I'm playing with - repressed family, finding suicide brother, addiction recovery. Don't feel like he gave me much, but was good (for a first session) to lay it all on the table. Interested to see what he comes up with next session, 'cos I've said all I've got to say.

[quinn]

From your link: "The heart of Core Process work is oriented to the belief that true healing is only possible to the extent that we can be fully present to the immediacy of our inner and outer experience."

I know spirituality, especially non-duality, is not psychotherapy. But there's an overlap. This statement seems a pretty good sum up of that overlap.

Laying stuff on the table can be horrendously hard. Good on you for doing it and for recognizing the need for a bit of help.

[Deleted]

I wish you all the very best Peter man.

[quinn]

Jul 25, 2013 22:05:56 GMT -5 quinn said:

From your link: "The heart of Core Process work is oriented to the belief that true healing is only possible to the extent that we can be fully present to the immediacy of our inner and outer experience."

I know spirituality, especially non-duality, is not psychotherapy. But there's an overlap. This statement seems a pretty good sum up of that overlap.

Laying stuff on the table can be horrendously hard. Good on you for doing it and for recognizing the need for a bit of help.

Sorry, Peter. I thought I was writing this to you, but when I got up this morning, I realized I was giving myself a bit of advice.

Funny how that works.

[quinn]

Had another thought, too - addiction-wise. We can never be free of something we hate.

Which is somewhere between a rock and a hard place. Can't convince ourselves to love it, that's just a game of pretend. Can't ignore it (or ATA it away), that's denial. What's left?

[andrew]

Jul 26, 2013 7:48:26 GMT -5 quinn said:

Had another thought, too - addiction-wise. We can never be free of something we hate.

Which is somewhere between a rock and a hard place. Can't convince ourselves to love it, that's just a game of pretend. Can't ignore it (or ATA it away), that's denial. What's left?

Its a good point.

I'm not a fan of trying to polish turds, yet what we resist, does persist. Abe-Hicks is good for stuff like this i.e. shifting our vibration around the whole thing.

[andrew]

This guy reportedly gets amazing results with people. He has combined EFT and NLP and calls it 'Faster EFT'.

This video isn't a demonstration of the process, but its an interesting 10 minute talk, and covers the subject of addiction.

[serpentqueen]

Jul 27, 2013 6:24:28 GMT -5 andrew said:

This guy reportedly gets amazing results with people. He has combined EFT and NLP and calls it 'Faster EFT'.

This video isn't a demonstration of the process, but its an interesting 10 minute talk, and covers the subject of addiction.

More story telling. That's all it is.

I can tell stories too.

I once was fat; this was in my early 20s. I thought I was addicted to food. I thought I was an emotional eater.  First, I blamed my mother, "she taught me to associate ice cream and other sweet treats with love."  "My mother didn't raise me with good dietary habits." When I accused my mother of these things, she reacted poorly (as you might expect) and then turned it around and blamed her mother, and also, genetics. "Sorry you were just born with fat genes you inherited from me, and I inherited from my parents, and so on. There's nothing to be done about it. Here, have some M&M's."

That answer wasn't good enough for me, and I hated being fat. A lot of that was vanity (I wanted to wear skinny, fashionable clothes and look cute) but also it just didn't feel good being in a fat, lumpy body with knees that hurt carrying excess weight.

So I began teaching myself about diet, nutrition and exercise. I began practicing good health habits. I began a version of ATA - i.e., conscious eating. Sounds good, right?

Well, I became thoroughly obnoxious and militantly vegetarian, and preached to anyone within ear shot, and looked down upon meat eaters and anyone who wasn't eating "right." I look back on that whole period of my life and I just... cringe... then laugh. How silly I was! But also I started to blame my husband at the time (now ex). I could see that when "he made me angry" I would reach not for sugary foods (having broken the habit of associating sugar with love); instead, I'd reach for the crunchy salty snacks that I could munch munch munch, in anger, because back then I was "the type of person who does not express anger." Ha.

Finally I broke those associations too... or, if you like... tap, tap, tap.. I released them... and the weight fell off effortlessly, and in fact, I reached peak fitness, I felt great, I could wear the skinny fashionable clothes! The weight stayed off, effortlessly, for a long long time.

Until life happened and I got hit with some health issues that made exercising impossible for awhile, and then a divorce/financial hit that made shopping at Whole Foods impossible, or at least, that is the new story I came up with to explain the ever-expanding waistline.. eventually nothing fit, I hated what I saw in the mirror, and my knees were hurting again....

Next came a period of rabid over-control as I counted and weighed and tracked every last morsel I put into my mouth.. I kept a spreadsheet of my weight loss progress and what I discovered was that there was absolutely no rhyme or reason to my weight loss (which took four years). Calories in did NOT equal calories out, as we are told it is supposed to do. I was doing *everything* right and the weight was not budging.

A dawning realization: I just *think* I can control my weight. It's an illusion. It always has been. I started to wonder if maybe there are not microorganisms in my gut that determine what foods I crave, and also how efficiently I burn calories. Maybe something else is control. This is an area of much recent and fascinating research, in fact.

In other words, if I crave sugary or salty foods, it's not because of an emotion -  love or anger. It may be that the organisms in my gut crave sugar or salt. Very weird to contemplate, but what is the body, afterall? It is a multicellular organism, what if all those cells are individual points of consciousness? What if the "I" in my head is just along for the ride, thinking it is in control?

That's when I stopped tracking and just surrendered. I do not think much at all about what to eat or not eat these days. I eat when I'm hungry, and I eat whatever it is that I'm craving, or whatever happens to arise and present itself for the eating (it's in the fridge; it's set before me because someone else has cooked it; it's on the menu). There are lots of days I eat utter crap, there are some days I eat tons of food, and other days I eat barely nothing at all because there's no hunger. I eventually, effortlessly, dropped the weight without having to think about it, and my weight has stayed within a +/-5 lbs of ideal weight now for 5 years --  not because of anything "I" did.

I suspect it can be the same way for any sort of addiction, but I'm not about to go into an AA meeting and make that claim.

[runstill]

Jul 27, 2013 13:36:34 GMT -5 serpentqueen said:

Jul 27, 2013 6:24:28 GMT -5 andrew said:

This guy reportedly gets amazing results with people. He has combined EFT and NLP and calls it 'Faster EFT'.

This video isn't a demonstration of the process, but its an interesting 10 minute talk, and covers the subject of addiction.

More story telling. That's all it is.

I can tell stories too.

I once was fat; this was in my early 20s. I thought I was addicted to food. I thought I was an emotional eater.  First, I blamed my mother, "she taught me to associate ice cream and other sweet treats with love."  "My mother didn't raise me with good dietary habits." When I accused my mother of these things, she reacted poorly (as you might expect) and then turned it around and blamed her mother, and also, genetics. "Sorry you were just born with fat genes you inherited from me, and I inherited from my parents, and so on. There's nothing to be done about it. Here, have some M&M's."

That answer wasn't good enough for me, and I hated being fat. A lot of that was vanity (I wanted to wear skinny, fashionable clothes and look cute) but also it just didn't feel good being in a fat, lumpy body with knees that hurt carrying excess weight.

So I began teaching myself about diet, nutrition and exercise. I began practicing good health habits. I began a version of ATA - i.e., conscious eating. Sounds good, right?

Well, I became thoroughly obnoxious and militantly vegetarian, and preached to anyone within ear shot, and looked down upon meat eaters and anyone who wasn't eating "right." I look back on that whole period of my life and I just... cringe... then laugh. How silly I was! But also I started to blame my husband at the time (now ex). I could see that when "he made me angry" I would reach not for sugary foods (having broken the habit of associating sugar with love); instead, I'd reach for the crunchy salty snacks that I could munch munch munch, in anger, because back then I was "the type of person who does not express anger." Ha.

Finally I broke those associations too... or, if you like... tap, tap, tap.. I released them... and the weight fell off effortlessly, and in fact, I reached peak fitness, I felt great, I could wear the skinny fashionable clothes! The weight stayed off, effortlessly, for a long long time.

Until life happened and I got hit with some health issues that made exercising impossible for awhile, and then a divorce/financial hit that made shopping at Whole Foods impossible, or at least, that is the new story I came up with to explain the ever-expanding waistline.. eventually nothing fit, I hated what I saw in the mirror, and my knees were hurting again....

Next came a period of rabid over-control as I counted and weighed and tracked every last morsel I put into my mouth.. I kept a spreadsheet of my weight loss progress and what I discovered was that there was absolutely no rhyme or reason to my weight loss (which took four years). Calories in did NOT equal calories out, as we are told it is supposed to do. I was doing *everything* right and the weight was not budging.

A dawning realization: I just *think* I can control my weight. It's an illusion. It always has been. I started to wonder if maybe there are not microorganisms in my gut that determine what foods I crave, and also how efficiently I burn calories. Maybe something else is control. This is an area of much recent and fascinating research, in fact.

In other words, if I crave sugary or salty foods, it's not because of an emotion -  love or anger. It may be that the organisms in my gut crave sugar or salt. Very weird to contemplate, but what is the body, afterall? It is a multicellular organism, what if all those cells are individual points of consciousness? What if the "I" in my head is just along for the ride, thinking it is in control?

That's when I stopped tracking and just surrendered. I do not think much at all about what to eat or not eat these days. I eat when I'm hungry, and I eat whatever it is that I'm craving, or whatever happens to arise and present itself for the eating (it's in the fridge; it's set before me because someone else has cooked it; it's on the menu). There are lots of days I eat utter crap, there are some days I eat tons of food, and other days I eat barely nothing at all because there's no hunger. I eventually, effortlessly, dropped the weight without having to think about it, and my weight has stayed within a +/-5 lbs of ideal weight now for 5 years --  not because of anything "I" did.

I suspect it can be the same way for any sort of addiction, but I'm not about to go into an AA meeting and make that claim.

If you decide to diet again give enigma a PM. He had a diet thingy he developed that had some success if I remember correctly.

[andrew]

Jul 27, 2013 13:36:34 GMT -5 serpentqueen said:

Jul 27, 2013 6:24:28 GMT -5 andrew said:

This guy reportedly gets amazing results with people. He has combined EFT and NLP and calls it 'Faster EFT'.

This video isn't a demonstration of the process, but its an interesting 10 minute talk, and covers the subject of addiction.

More story telling. That's all it is.

I can tell stories too.

I once was fat; this was in my early 20s. I thought I was addicted to food. I thought I was an emotional eater.  First, I blamed my mother, "she taught me to associate ice cream and other sweet treats with love."  "My mother didn't raise me with good dietary habits." When I accused my mother of these things, she reacted poorly (as you might expect) and then turned it around and blamed her mother, and also, genetics. "Sorry you were just born with fat genes you inherited from me, and I inherited from my parents, and so on. There's nothing to be done about it. Here, have some M&M's."

That answer wasn't good enough for me, and I hated being fat. A lot of that was vanity (I wanted to wear skinny, fashionable clothes and look cute) but also it just didn't feel good being in a fat, lumpy body with knees that hurt carrying excess weight.

So I began teaching myself about diet, nutrition and exercise. I began practicing good health habits. I began a version of ATA - i.e., conscious eating. Sounds good, right?

Well, I became thoroughly obnoxious and militantly vegetarian, and preached to anyone within ear shot, and looked down upon meat eaters and anyone who wasn't eating "right." I look back on that whole period of my life and I just... cringe... then laugh. How silly I was! But also I started to blame my husband at the time (now ex). I could see that when "he made me angry" I would reach not for sugary foods (having broken the habit of associating sugar with love); instead, I'd reach for the crunchy salty snacks that I could munch munch munch, in anger, because back then I was "the type of person who does not express anger." Ha.

Finally I broke those associations too... or, if you like... tap, tap, tap.. I released them... and the weight fell off effortlessly, and in fact, I reached peak fitness, I felt great, I could wear the skinny fashionable clothes! The weight stayed off, effortlessly, for a long long time.

Until life happened and I got hit with some health issues that made exercising impossible for awhile, and then a divorce/financial hit that made shopping at Whole Foods impossible, or at least, that is the new story I came up with to explain the ever-expanding waistline.. eventually nothing fit, I hated what I saw in the mirror, and my knees were hurting again....

Next came a period of rabid over-control as I counted and weighed and tracked every last morsel I put into my mouth.. I kept a spreadsheet of my weight loss progress and what I discovered was that there was absolutely no rhyme or reason to my weight loss (which took four years). Calories in did NOT equal calories out, as we are told it is supposed to do. I was doing *everything* right and the weight was not budging.

A dawning realization: I just *think* I can control my weight. It's an illusion. It always has been. I started to wonder if maybe there are not microorganisms in my gut that determine what foods I crave, and also how efficiently I burn calories. Maybe something else is control. This is an area of much recent and fascinating research, in fact.

In other words, if I crave sugary or salty foods, it's not because of an emotion -  love or anger. It may be that the organisms in my gut crave sugar or salt. Very weird to contemplate, but what is the body, afterall? It is a multicellular organism, what if all those cells are individual points of consciousness? What if the "I" in my head is just along for the ride, thinking it is in control?

That's when I stopped tracking and just surrendered. I do not think much at all about what to eat or not eat these days. I eat when I'm hungry, and I eat whatever it is that I'm craving, or whatever happens to arise and present itself for the eating (it's in the fridge; it's set before me because someone else has cooked it; it's on the menu). There are lots of days I eat utter crap, there are some days I eat tons of food, and other days I eat barely nothing at all because there's no hunger. I eventually, effortlessly, dropped the weight without having to think about it, and my weight has stayed within a +/-5 lbs of ideal weight now for 5 years --  not because of anything "I" did.

I suspect it can be the same way for any sort of addiction, but I'm not about to go into an AA meeting and make that claim.

Got round to reading this properly. Cool story SQ. And the way it unfolded for you makes sense to me.