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Post by serpentqueen on Jul 10, 2013 17:14:04 GMT -5
Hi *wave* It does make sense to me, something similar is occurring, after some mind boggling unexplainable months, I went seeking answers to how all of that could be so and most of what was formerly considered 'the only reality' had gotten so thoroughly trampled by experience otherwise. That was the seeking part. Answers - puzzle pieces really, started filtering in from many sectors and got doubled down by actual experience, now it's all slowed down and there seems to be this integration phase, the pots simmering on the stove, all the spices aren't blended yet..... TO misquoute probably Lao Tzu Before awakening a tree is a tree, a river is a river. after awakening a tree is not a tree, a river is not a river, then a tree is a tree and a river is a river. So now a tree is a tree and also more and a river is a river and also more....and we are the tree and river both...somehow after more simmering time this will all make sense and we'll know what to do with the knowledge, or not. Is there even anything to be done with it? As I often remark to a friend, awesome, now I'm super human, what do I do with it? Or is there even anything to be done with it? not really, whether its a phenomena that apoears "supernatural" or not, its all Mind ;-) over a 20 year period of intense exploration I had many "supernatural" woo woo experience, too many to list, but in every case, it always felt like a side joyrney that was a distraction from getting to the essence of things. so while it was really fun become one with birds and seeing what it was like to swoop up into a tree in high speed flight from the birds eyes (they have an interesting visual field with those wide set eyes ;-)), it was all still a kind of dwelling in Mind centeredness. the Mind is vast and all containing, with practice its amazing what kind of seemingly "supernatural" access you can gain to its various aspects, but in then end, absorption in either common, or seemingly "supernatural" Mind experience is still all being Mind centered....even though that "playground/prison" is MUCH vaster and more diverse than most folks experience. It was very helpful to be given the pointer that "experiences are just experiences - they don't mean anything." Experiences COULD mean something (what do I know?) - but having it suggested that they didn't mean a dang thing, helped immensely, to loosen up the grip a bit. Experiences still happen. I may even allow myself to get all excited over them, and allow my mind to run away pondering what they might "mean." And all of that is okay too. It's just another part of what is.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 10, 2013 18:04:19 GMT -5
not really, whether its a phenomena that apoears "supernatural" or not, its all Mind ;-) over a 20 year period of intense exploration I had many "supernatural" woo woo experience, too many to list, but in every case, it always felt like a side joyrney that was a distraction from getting to the essence of things. so while it was really fun become one with birds and seeing what it was like to swoop up into a tree in high speed flight from the birds eyes (they have an interesting visual field with those wide set eyes ;-)), it was all still a kind of dwelling in Mind centeredness. the Mind is vast and all containing, with practice its amazing what kind of seemingly "supernatural" access you can gain to its various aspects, but in then end, absorption in either common, or seemingly "supernatural" Mind experience is still all being Mind centered....even though that "playground/prison" is MUCH vaster and more diverse than most folks experience. It was very helpful to be given the pointer that "experiences are just experiences - they don't mean anything." Experiences COULD mean something (what do I know?) - but having it suggested that they didn't mean a dang thing, helped immensely, to loosen up the grip a bit. Experiences still happen. I may even allow myself to get all excited over them, and allow my mind to run away pondering what they might "mean." And all of that is okay too. It's just another part of what is. :-)
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Post by laughter on Jul 10, 2013 18:13:31 GMT -5
not really, whether its a phenomena that apoears "supernatural" or not, its all Mind ;-) over a 20 year period of intense exploration I had many "supernatural" woo woo experience, too many to list, but in every case, it always felt like a side joyrney that was a distraction from getting to the essence of things. so while it was really fun become one with birds and seeing what it was like to swoop up into a tree in high speed flight from the birds eyes (they have an interesting visual field with those wide set eyes ;-)), it was all still a kind of dwelling in Mind centeredness. the Mind is vast and all containing, with practice its amazing what kind of seemingly "supernatural" access you can gain to its various aspects, but in then end, absorption in either common, or seemingly "supernatural" Mind experience is still all being Mind centered....even though that "playground/prison" is MUCH vaster and more diverse than most folks experience. It was very helpful to be given the pointer that "experiences are just experiences - they don't mean anything." Experiences COULD mean something (what do I know?) - but having it suggested that they didn't mean a dang thing, helped immensely, to loosen up the grip a bit. Experiences still happen. I may even allow myself to get all excited over them, and allow my mind to run away pondering what they might "mean." And all of that is okay too. It's just another part of what is. Yes, I found and find this helpful -- my take is that if we listen and trust we can save ourselves many a trap!
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Post by tzujanli on Jul 10, 2013 19:31:31 GMT -5
Greetings.. not really, whether its a phenomena that apoears "supernatural" or not, its all Mind ;-) over a 20 year period of intense exploration I had many "supernatural" woo woo experience, too many to list, but in every case, it always felt like a side joyrney that was a distraction from getting to the essence of things. so while it was really fun become one with birds and seeing what it was like to swoop up into a tree in high speed flight from the birds eyes (they have an interesting visual field with those wide set eyes ;-)), it was all still a kind of dwelling in Mind centeredness. the Mind is vast and all containing, with practice its amazing what kind of seemingly "supernatural" access you can gain to its various aspects, but in then end, absorption in either common, or seemingly "supernatural" Mind experience is still all being Mind centered....even though that "playground/prison" is MUCH vaster and more diverse than most folks experience. It was very helpful to be given the pointer that "experiences are just experiences - they don't mean anything." Experiences COULD mean something (what do I know?) - but having it suggested that they didn't mean a dang thing, helped immensely, to loosen up the grip a bit. Experiences still happen. I may even allow myself to get all excited over them, and allow my mind to run away pondering what they might "mean." And all of that is okay too. It's just another part of what is. Hi SQ: I have found that experiences mean i exist.. experiences are the vehicle through which the unknown is made known, and you/me/we/us/Life are the occasion for the experience, existence.. While experiences may not mean 'anything', they also don't mean 'nothing'.. Be well..
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Post by amit on Jul 11, 2013 1:17:20 GMT -5
Hi Serpentqueen, Thanks. "... although I could point to a few experiences that helped along the way, and wrap it all in a story if you wish" What was seen and was there anything in particular which lead to the seeing? amit I'm still figuring out how to express it in words. I'd say I am probably smoking the same stuff as Andrew, as a lot (not all) of his posts hit the mark for me. What lead to it.. I don't know how far back you want me to go with the story, I could spin a long one. But I've never really practiced or followed any one particular thing (at least, not for long). At periods in my life I would find myself interested in spiritual/philosophical/metaphysical information, study up, but mostly on a surface level, and it's been on and off. I also study a lot of science stuff too. I've had long stretches where I had zero such interest and I would just "be" in the here and now and not ponder any of it. About 5 years ago, I found myself leaving such a period and entering an intense seeking mode. And eventually I felt like I was on one long never ending hamster wheel. There have been tons of influences along the way, they all played a role, but most recently, a couple of things caused a shift. One was going to an Unmani retreat. It's the first retreat I ever went to. I'd read her books and watched her videos for awhile, and kept coming back to them. I can't really put into words what happened at that retreat. Something shifted -- and it lasted for about two months. But as Unmani cautioned, it would come and go, so when it "went" again, I was prepared for that. The next thing I did was read McKenna's Theory of Everything (a friend recommended it) and I did like that book. A lot of it (not all) resonates for me. I found it tied nicely into the Unmani experience. There's also another influence that ties into it all, which is sorta hard to explain, as it's not anyone who is hawking a book or retreats or even a theory or practice. This influence put together a lot of the pieces too. What happened next was a period in which a whole bunch of intense stuff was going on in my personal life -- it's personal so I won't get into that. I will say unrelated events affected every significant relationship in my life. I was thoroughly distracted and overwhelmed by it all. Then one by one, this bunch of personal stuff just clicked all into place for me. What might have taken me years in therapy, all just suddenly made sense, was seen, and resolved. It is like everything that had preoccupied me for years, was suddenly just.. gone. While all that was going on, "it" would come and go, it's so subtle. Now that "decks are cleared" it's coming more often but one cannot say for how long it will stay, or what makes it come when it does -- I can be with other people, I can be completely alone. Something just shifts, and it all makes sense. I think others in this forum, from what I can tell, know what I mean, and that is totally cool. I'm glad Top re-sent me the link to this forum. I'd caution that anything I might write may come across inconsistent, because it depends on which "mode" I am in. That's another part I'm trying to figure out. There seems to be different "spaces" and I am flipping between them. That is partly what I meant about integration. I do see this is nothing I can force - it just happens, and on it's own schedule. I hope that wasn't too long-winded for you. I could get more long-winded, if you want the longer version. Heh! But stories are just stories. Hi Serpenyqueen, Thanks. Yes please say what the "It" is if that's not to difficult to describe. I met Unmani a couple of times at Iony Parsons gigs before she started having meetings and enjoyed talking with her. amit amit
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Post by serpentqueen on Jul 11, 2013 9:17:10 GMT -5
I'm still figuring out how to express it in words. I'd say I am probably smoking the same stuff as Andrew, as a lot (not all) of his posts hit the mark for me. What lead to it.. I don't know how far back you want me to go with the story, I could spin a long one. But I've never really practiced or followed any one particular thing (at least, not for long). At periods in my life I would find myself interested in spiritual/philosophical/metaphysical information, study up, but mostly on a surface level, and it's been on and off. I also study a lot of science stuff too. I've had long stretches where I had zero such interest and I would just "be" in the here and now and not ponder any of it. About 5 years ago, I found myself leaving such a period and entering an intense seeking mode. And eventually I felt like I was on one long never ending hamster wheel. There have been tons of influences along the way, they all played a role, but most recently, a couple of things caused a shift. One was going to an Unmani retreat. It's the first retreat I ever went to. I'd read her books and watched her videos for awhile, and kept coming back to them. I can't really put into words what happened at that retreat. Something shifted -- and it lasted for about two months. But as Unmani cautioned, it would come and go, so when it "went" again, I was prepared for that. The next thing I did was read McKenna's Theory of Everything (a friend recommended it) and I did like that book. A lot of it (not all) resonates for me. I found it tied nicely into the Unmani experience. There's also another influence that ties into it all, which is sorta hard to explain, as it's not anyone who is hawking a book or retreats or even a theory or practice. This influence put together a lot of the pieces too. What happened next was a period in which a whole bunch of intense stuff was going on in my personal life -- it's personal so I won't get into that. I will say unrelated events affected every significant relationship in my life. I was thoroughly distracted and overwhelmed by it all. Then one by one, this bunch of personal stuff just clicked all into place for me. What might have taken me years in therapy, all just suddenly made sense, was seen, and resolved. It is like everything that had preoccupied me for years, was suddenly just.. gone. While all that was going on, "it" would come and go, it's so subtle. Now that "decks are cleared" it's coming more often but one cannot say for how long it will stay, or what makes it come when it does -- I can be with other people, I can be completely alone. Something just shifts, and it all makes sense. I think others in this forum, from what I can tell, know what I mean, and that is totally cool. I'm glad Top re-sent me the link to this forum. I'd caution that anything I might write may come across inconsistent, because it depends on which "mode" I am in. That's another part I'm trying to figure out. There seems to be different "spaces" and I am flipping between them. That is partly what I meant about integration. I do see this is nothing I can force - it just happens, and on it's own schedule. I hope that wasn't too long-winded for you. I could get more long-winded, if you want the longer version. Heh! But stories are just stories. Hi Serpenyqueen, Thanks. Yes please say what the "It" is if that's not to difficult to describe. I met Unmani a couple of times at Iony Parsons gigs before she started having meetings and enjoyed talking with her. amit amit I'm not feeling it right now (I've got a job interview later today so I need to stay firmly in my "story"). So I'm afraid if I try to describe it, I'll just be borrowing someone else's words. Here's some excerpts I wrote about a month after the retreat: "I am nothing, and everything. Because I am you. There is no me. There’s only you!" "The feeling is.. Vulnerable and lost... Consumed and destroyed....utterly free." "This is hard to put into words. It is a place of neutrality but it's not what you might think - it doesn't necessarily feel like peace and serenity. It feels everything. It is everything. There is no "I" left in that space. But it's also not removed from it either. So hard to explain. It doesn't last - it is fleeting. It has to be fleeting." "It becomes an experience of .. myself talking to myself. That’s the best way I can describe it. You turn off the stories, and the entire world tells you better, more fabulous ones. It’s not “woo hoo” at all. It’s a very ordinary experience. Beautifully ordinary." "It’s true, something dies. But it’s not as bad as the “I” thought it would be. She’s still around, doing her thing, typing right now… stitching all this together into somewhat of a story. But the story doesn’t have to mean anything (maybe it does, who knows, the I can’t possibly know!). It can’t touch who I am."
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Post by amit on Jul 11, 2013 12:45:27 GMT -5
Hi Serpenyqueen, Thanks. Yes please say what the "It" is if that's not to difficult to describe. I met Unmani a couple of times at Iony Parsons gigs before she started having meetings and enjoyed talking with her. amit amit I'm not feeling it right now (I've got a job interview later today so I need to stay firmly in my "story"). So I'm afraid if I try to describe it, I'll just be borrowing someone else's words. Here's some excerpts I wrote about a month after the retreat: "I am nothing, and everything. Because I am you. There is no me. There’s only you!" "The feeling is.. Vulnerable and lost... Consumed and destroyed....utterly free." "This is hard to put into words. It is a place of neutrality but it's not what you might think - it doesn't necessarily feel like peace and serenity. It feels everything. It is everything. There is no "I" left in that space. But it's also not removed from it either. So hard to explain. It doesn't last - it is fleeting. It has to be fleeting." "It becomes an experience of .. myself talking to myself. That’s the best way I can describe it. You turn off the stories, and the entire world tells you better, more fabulous ones. It’s not “woo hoo” at all. It’s a very ordinary experience. Beautifully ordinary." "It’s true, something dies. But it’s not as bad as the “I” thought it would be. She’s still around, doing her thing, typing right now… stitching all this together into somewhat of a story. But the story doesn’t have to mean anything (maybe it does, who knows, the I can’t possibly know!). It can’t touch who I am." Hi Serpentqueen, Thank you. " It doesn't last - it is fleeting." How do you feel when the experience is absent? amit
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Post by Deleted on Jul 11, 2013 15:34:46 GMT -5
Never mind...
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Post by serpentqueen on Jul 11, 2013 15:51:39 GMT -5
I'm not feeling it right now (I've got a job interview later today so I need to stay firmly in my "story"). So I'm afraid if I try to describe it, I'll just be borrowing someone else's words. Here's some excerpts I wrote about a month after the retreat: "I am nothing, and everything. Because I am you. There is no me. There’s only you!" "The feeling is.. Vulnerable and lost... Consumed and destroyed....utterly free." "This is hard to put into words. It is a place of neutrality but it's not what you might think - it doesn't necessarily feel like peace and serenity. It feels everything. It is everything. There is no "I" left in that space. But it's also not removed from it either. So hard to explain. It doesn't last - it is fleeting. It has to be fleeting." "It becomes an experience of .. myself talking to myself. That’s the best way I can describe it. You turn off the stories, and the entire world tells you better, more fabulous ones. It’s not “woo hoo” at all. It’s a very ordinary experience. Beautifully ordinary." "It’s true, something dies. But it’s not as bad as the “I” thought it would be. She’s still around, doing her thing, typing right now… stitching all this together into somewhat of a story. But the story doesn’t have to mean anything (maybe it does, who knows, the I can’t possibly know!). It can’t touch who I am." Hi Serpentqueen, Thank you. " It doesn't last - it is fleeting." How do you feel when the experience is absent? amit It varies... Protected, the illusion of it, at any rate. The more deep into the story, the more I believe the story is real, the more protected it makes me feel. But something -inevitably- shows this to be a false confidence. Self-conscious, as in "Did I just say something stupid? Do they notice I have a zit on my chin? Why are they looking at my mouth - do I have spinach in my teeth? What do they think about me? Why can't I be like they are? How do they make it look so easy?" Inauthentic, as in I know I am just pretending to be a grown up in control who knows stuff and is acting in the way you expect me to act... yet inside I am still just a child who knows nothing. Full of sh.t, sometimes.
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Post by amit on Jul 12, 2013 1:19:47 GMT -5
Hi Serpentqueen, Thank you. " It doesn't last - it is fleeting." How do you feel when the experience is absent? amit It varies... Protected, the illusion of it, at any rate. The more deep into the story, the more I believe the story is real, the more protected it makes me feel. But something -inevitably- shows this to be a false confidence. Self-conscious, as in "Did I just say something stupid? Do they notice I have a zit on my chin? Why are they looking at my mouth - do I have spinach in my teeth? What do they think about me? Why can't I be like they are? How do they make it look so easy?" Inauthentic, as in I know I am just pretending to be a grown up in control who knows stuff and is acting in the way you expect me to act... yet inside I am still just a child who knows nothing. Full of sh.t, sometimes. Hi Serpentqueen, Understood. Thanks. When I met Unmani (before she had meetings) she spoke a lot about Oneness as might be expected as a keen follower of Tony Parsons. Did that come across on her retreat? amit
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Post by serpentqueen on Jul 12, 2013 8:26:33 GMT -5
It varies... Protected, the illusion of it, at any rate. The more deep into the story, the more I believe the story is real, the more protected it makes me feel. But something -inevitably- shows this to be a false confidence. Self-conscious, as in "Did I just say something stupid? Do they notice I have a zit on my chin? Why are they looking at my mouth - do I have spinach in my teeth? What do they think about me? Why can't I be like they are? How do they make it look so easy?" Inauthentic, as in I know I am just pretending to be a grown up in control who knows stuff and is acting in the way you expect me to act... yet inside I am still just a child who knows nothing. Full of sh.t, sometimes. Hi Serpentqueen, Understood. Thanks. When I met Unmani (before she had meetings) she spoke a lot about Oneness as might be expected as a keen follower of Tony Parsons. Did that come across on her retreat? amit I have no idea who Tony Parsons is, so I can't say.
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Post by amit on Jul 13, 2013 1:38:52 GMT -5
Hi Serpentqueen, Understood. Thanks. When I met Unmani (before she had meetings) she spoke a lot about Oneness as might be expected as a keen follower of Tony Parsons. Did that come across on her retreat? amit I have no idea who Tony Parsons is, so I can't say. Hi Serpentqueen, There's an interview with Tony Parsons that comes up on a google search "Ayanoma Tony Parsons interview". If you watch it I'd be interested to know what you think. amit
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Post by zendancer on Jul 13, 2013 9:23:42 GMT -5
I'm not feeling it right now (I've got a job interview later today so I need to stay firmly in my "story"). So I'm afraid if I try to describe it, I'll just be borrowing someone else's words. Here's some excerpts I wrote about a month after the retreat: "I am nothing, and everything. Because I am you. There is no me. There’s only you!" "The feeling is.. Vulnerable and lost... Consumed and destroyed....utterly free." "This is hard to put into words. It is a place of neutrality but it's not what you might think - it doesn't necessarily feel like peace and serenity. It feels everything. It is everything. There is no "I" left in that space. But it's also not removed from it either. So hard to explain. It doesn't last - it is fleeting. It has to be fleeting." "It becomes an experience of .. myself talking to myself. That’s the best way I can describe it. You turn off the stories, and the entire world tells you better, more fabulous ones. It’s not “woo hoo” at all. It’s a very ordinary experience. Beautifully ordinary." "It’s true, something dies. But it’s not as bad as the “I” thought it would be. She’s still around, doing her thing, typing right now… stitching all this together into somewhat of a story. But the story doesn’t have to mean anything (maybe it does, who knows, the I can’t possibly know!). It can’t touch who I am." Hi Serpentqueen, Thank you. " It doesn't last - it is fleeting." How do you feel when the experience is absent? amit Amit: You're cracking me up this morning. Have you considered a job as a standup comedian? (How do you feel when the experience is absent?) Ha ha.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 13, 2013 19:49:04 GMT -5
Hi Serpentqueen, Thank you. " It doesn't last - it is fleeting." How do you feel when the experience is absent? amit Amit: You're cracking me up this morning. Have you considered a job as a standup comedian? (How do you feel when the experience is absent?) Ha ha. LoL, Amit is a treasure :-)
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Post by laughter on Jul 13, 2013 20:19:12 GMT -5
Amit: You're cracking me up this morning. Have you considered a job as a standup comedian? (How do you feel when the experience is absent?) Ha ha. LoL, Amit is a treasure :-) <pegasus> Ultimate non-dual straight man. Reminds me of Bob Newhart. </pegasus>
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