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Post by silver on Jul 4, 2013 12:30:05 GMT -5
When I was a little kid, I found a struggling young bird in the grass on our lawn, so I thought I'd try and help it by putting it in a towel and into a cardboard box. All I could do was just comfort it and keep an eye on it, and when I wasn't, I stowed it under the table and chair in the dining room (we always ate at the kitchen table). On top of the dining room table was a flat Pyrex dish with our 3 little turtles (one for Lewie, one for Tommy, and one for me).
I semi-forgot about the bird for a day or two and when I checked on it, there were worms squiggling about in its flesh in amongst the feathers and that gave me such a shock, I gasped and backed up at 90-mph and left the area! The sight of the dead bird affected me until this very day, although I must say, it's not something I gave much thought over the years. But when I do, it all comes flooding back, the sight, the emotions…maybe that was my sort of zen moment?
After reading about Farmer's bird, it triggered the memory of this experience that I had as a little girl, and I cried intensely. I thought to myself, I gotta figure this thing out. I'm well acquainted with death all around me, and stuff, and I still react so strongly from that memory so long ago.
I'm not particularly afraid of dying myself…I thought about how it was my decision to help this bird and my intervention did squat to help it at all. I mean, the experience did bring me face-to-face with how the flesh will rot, so there's that…I thought about just why, oh why does it bring up such emotion to the surface. I tried to help, and it didn't help.
I think this experience brought me face to face with a some little big things that add up to a realization or something like that. My good intentions were to naught. There's something in there about being responsible for the bird because of my actions, my decision to 'help'. I think I put myself on trial, as if I'd murdered the bird or been very neglectful and/or ignorant. I'm not sure if any or all of this are the thoughts and feelings that went racing through my young mind at that time, but they're the thoughts going through my mind now, about it.
It makes me think about how in the Bible it says God is aware of every hair on our heads, and all that. It doesn't say anything about saving or helping or intervening, necessarily, does it. It just says He's aware.
There are umpteen stories in the Bible that talk about God helping countries and groups of people fight battles and all that, but is that all BS they formulated in their own minds about how each group with a story is the 'righteous' group and the enemy is sh*t?
Why would he bother to appear if he didn't care. Did we create all this religion stuff and where does the bottom-line, true-blue scriptures start and end? We must decide for ourselves. Do we even have the will to do that? The Bible talks about will, too.
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Post by james on Jul 4, 2013 13:22:22 GMT -5
I'm not particularly afraid of dying myself… Easy to say. |
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Post by silver on Jul 4, 2013 13:24:55 GMT -5
I'm not particularly afraid of dying myself… Easy to say. True 'nuff. Most of us are - but only when we think about it! Only when we ponder how this person died or that person died or creature died - do we really start generating fear about it; luckily, most of us realize the futility of thinking about it or obsessing over it. |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 4, 2013 13:40:32 GMT -5
I brought home a cat when I was 4 years old that I found in the alley. My mom saw me coming through the yard with it, and met me before I got to the back door. Asked me where I got the cat, and I pointed to the alley. So she walked with me back to where I found it, and had me set it down where I had picked it up. On the way home she told me the cat was dead. When we got home I got a real long, hot bath.
I realized later in life that this was the moment when I learned to fear death.
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Post by Beingist on Jul 4, 2013 14:29:44 GMT -5
The only thing that ever makes me curious about death anymore, is the strange feelings that arise when someone passes away.
At my work, one of the members of the team and I had struck up a very good working relationship. This guy was sharp--a smart, diligent manager. Then he died suddenly, unexpectedly. We were all in shock. Things are kinda still chaotic, due to the loss of a great manager.
But a day or two after hearing the news, I was suddenly overtaken by this feeling of great sadness for the loss. His family must have been hit twice as hard as I was. I still feel kinda sad just thinking about it. Yet, I hardly knew the guy.
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Post by Ishtahota on Jul 5, 2013 8:49:31 GMT -5
Right before 2000 my old man died all of the sudden. I had the sense at Christmas time that this was the last time that we would all be together at this time and it was. About a month after his death he came back to visit my wife and I. Both of my parents have been back to visit many times after that. We asked pop what it was like to die. He said that in truth it was no more different then walking threw a door and no more eventful. The hard part for him was getting there and all of the fear that came with the event before it happened.
Quote from Silver
(Why would he bother to appear if he didn't care. Did we create all this religion stuff and where does the bottom-line, true-blue scriptures start and end? We must decide for ourselves. Do we even have the will to do that? The Bible talks about will, too.)
In truth there is no true scripture. There are several books to the new testament called the Nostics that were not included in todays Bible. Those were a lot of the non-duality teachings of the Christ that people could not understand. The Gospel of Mary, The Gospel of Philip, and the Gospel of Thomas were just a few. Once you start to study non-duality these left out books start to make a lot of sense.
The old testament, the Koran, and the Tora all came from the same ancient writings. They are all part of the stories that came from ancient Sumarian writings. King James was responsible for the last rewrite of todays Bible. Go back into history and see who he really was. He was a petty tyrant, a mass murderer, and by some accounts at least bi-sexual. And people think that this boy did not have an agenda. This part of why I tell my elders that I come from the stupid white man nations. If I kill 10 to 50 people I am a serial killer and if I kill hundreds or thousands of people they will make me King. Go figure!!!!
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Post by acewall on Oct 14, 2013 19:26:40 GMT -5
When I was a little kid, I found a struggling young bird in the grass on our lawn, so I thought I'd try and help it by putting it in a towel and into a cardboard box. All I could do was just comfort it and keep an eye on it, and when I wasn't, I stowed it under the table and chair in the dining room (we always ate at the kitchen table). On top of the dining room table was a flat Pyrex dish with our 3 little turtles (one for Lewie, one for Tommy, and one for me). I semi-forgot about the bird for a day or two and when I checked on it, there were worms squiggling about in its flesh in amongst the feathers and that gave me such a shock, I gasped and backed up at 90-mph and left the area! The sight of the dead bird affected me until this very day, although I must say, it's not something I gave much thought over the years. But when I do, it all comes flooding back, the sight, the emotions…maybe that was my sort of zen moment? After reading about Farmer's bird, it triggered the memory of this experience that I had as a little girl, and I cried intensely. I thought to myself, I gotta figure this thing out. I'm well acquainted with death all around me, and stuff, and I still react so strongly from that memory so long ago. I'm not particularly afraid of dying myself…I thought about how it was my decision to help this bird and my intervention did squat to help it at all. I mean, the experience did bring me face-to-face with how the flesh will rot, so there's that…I thought about just why, oh why does it bring up such emotion to the surface. I tried to help, and it didn't help. I think this experience brought me face to face with a some little big things that add up to a realization or something like that. My good intentions were to naught. There's something in there about being responsible for the bird because of my actions, my decision to 'help'. I think I put myself on trial, as if I'd murdered the bird or been very neglectful and/or ignorant. I'm not sure if any or all of this are the thoughts and feelings that went racing through my young mind at that time, but they're the thoughts going through my mind now, about it. It makes me think about how in the Bible it says God is aware of every hair on our heads, and all that. It doesn't say anything about saving or helping or intervening, necessarily, does it. It just says He's aware. There are umpteen stories in the Bible that talk about God helping countries and groups of people fight battles and all that, but is that all BS they formulated in their own minds about how each group with a story is the 'righteous' group and the enemy is sh*t? Why would he bother to appear if he didn't care. Did we create all this religion stuff and where does the bottom-line, true-blue scriptures start and end? We must decide for ourselves. Do we even have the will to do that? The Bible talks about will, too. good post. seems to be god based at the end, but I loved the caring-Nature that was present in the child. Me too...(male bird)did similar things, which become food for the cat.wtf? Bad boy, wasnt giving it me full attention. Then, the baby hedge hog I brought in died on me...got the maggot thing,which I knew nothing about,and couldnt make-out why something was still moving under tha skin, when it was stone cold dead. So out with my Taxidermy tools and into the self-learnt process I began...yuk! what 'orribly 'hit I found. In your post, "I'm not particularly afraid of dying myself" is the key I saw. I would like to investigate this idea with you here or there, sometime. |
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Post by silver on Oct 18, 2013 18:47:46 GMT -5
I took Sniffles for a walk a couple days ago,
we were standing on the front lawn.
As I stood there watching him sniff the ground,
he lifted up his head and gently took in the scents
as we became one with the pale golden evening sun.
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Post by silver on Oct 20, 2013 13:59:10 GMT -5
When I was a little kid, I found a struggling young bird in the grass on our lawn, so I thought I'd try and help it by putting it in a towel and into a cardboard box. All I could do was just comfort it and keep an eye on it, and when I wasn't, I stowed it under the table and chair in the dining room (we always ate at the kitchen table). On top of the dining room table was a flat Pyrex dish with our 3 little turtles (one for Lewie, one for Tommy, and one for me). I semi-forgot about the bird for a day or two and when I checked on it, there were worms squiggling about in its flesh in amongst the feathers and that gave me such a shock, I gasped and backed up at 90-mph and left the area! The sight of the dead bird affected me until this very day, although I must say, it's not something I gave much thought over the years. But when I do, it all comes flooding back, the sight, the emotions…maybe that was my sort of zen moment? After reading about Farmer's bird, it triggered the memory of this experience that I had as a little girl, and I cried intensely. I thought to myself, I gotta figure this thing out. I'm well acquainted with death all around me, and stuff, and I still react so strongly from that memory so long ago. I'm not particularly afraid of dying myself…I thought about how it was my decision to help this bird and my intervention did squat to help it at all. I mean, the experience did bring me face-to-face with how the flesh will rot, so there's that…I thought about just why, oh why does it bring up such emotion to the surface. I tried to help, and it didn't help. I think this experience brought me face to face with a some little big things that add up to a realization or something like that. My good intentions were to naught. There's something in there about being responsible for the bird because of my actions, my decision to 'help'. I think I put myself on trial, as if I'd murdered the bird or been very neglectful and/or ignorant. I'm not sure if any or all of this are the thoughts and feelings that went racing through my young mind at that time, but they're the thoughts going through my mind now, about it. It makes me think about how in the Bible it says God is aware of every hair on our heads, and all that. It doesn't say anything about saving or helping or intervening, necessarily, does it. It just says He's aware. There are umpteen stories in the Bible that talk about God helping countries and groups of people fight battles and all that, but is that all BS they formulated in their own minds about how each group with a story is the 'righteous' group and the enemy is sh*t? Why would he bother to appear if he didn't care. Did we create all this religion stuff and where does the bottom-line, true-blue scriptures start and end? We must decide for ourselves. Do we even have the will to do that? The Bible talks about will, too. good post. seems to be god based at the end, but I loved the caring-Nature that was present in the child. Me too...(male bird)did similar things, which become food for the cat.wtf? Bad boy, wasnt giving it me full attention. Then, the baby hedge hog I brought in died on me...got the maggot thing,which I knew nothing about,and couldnt make-out why something was still moving under tha skin, when it was stone cold dead. So out with my Taxidermy tools and into the self-learnt process I began...yuk! what 'orribly 'hit I found. In your post, "I'm not particularly afraid of dying myself" is the key I saw. I would like to investigate this idea with you here or there, sometime. Um, hi there acewall, I'm curious -- you said that my not being afraid of dying so much is 'the key I saw' -- but key to what? All I can say is that I've always felt like I need to take care of others -- people, maybe not so much but over the years, it seems I've helped them a lot -- without even trying. I think a lot of us feel especially loving and protective towards animals and that is the case with me, as well. |
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Post by acewall on Oct 20, 2013 20:11:11 GMT -5
good post. seems to be god based at the end, but I loved the caring-Nature that was present in the child. Me too...(male bird)did similar things, which become food for the cat.wtf? Bad boy, wasnt giving it me full attention. Then, the baby hedge hog I brought in died on me...got the maggot thing,which I knew nothing about,and couldnt make-out why something was still moving under tha skin, when it was stone cold dead. So out with my Taxidermy tools and into the self-learnt process I began...yuk! what 'orribly 'hit I found. In your post, "I'm not particularly afraid of dying myself" is the key I saw. I would like to investigate this idea with you here or there, sometime. Um, hi there acewall, I'm curious -- you said that my not being afraid of dying so much is 'the key I saw' -- but key to what? All I can say is that I've always felt like I need to take care of others -- people, maybe not so much but over the years, it seems I've helped them a lot -- without even trying. I think a lot of us feel especially loving and protective towards animals and that is the case with me, as well. not being afraid of dying, one goes close to the perifery regular untill one is taken;dies. Thus the key was/is activated at death for that I that who is genuinely struggling with life(or death) allowing dissolution to take place, leaving only the real remaining, which is brilliance... life itself. Me too. I've always helped others (but)to the extent of forgetting myself and my own family at times;I became addicted. Not a fully-concious state of the I. (A partially realised I has to go the whole distance once the process has been ignited,other wise the I becomes frustrated, fallsaway beaten-like.) That doesn't mean I have stopped attending my fellow mennwomen. Just yesterday it appeared that someone spotted me and in the Bar, revealed himself in deep one2one discussion, that revealed brilliance to us both and to onlookers. We also talked about why one mustn't try, nor try to awaken-another, like the others in the Bar were we sat. Curious is like reaching-out is it not? |
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