astarxy
Junior Member
Live and let live
Posts: 54
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Post by astarxy on Jun 12, 2011 10:20:29 GMT -5
hey, my dear ones..
one topic for discussion, if anyone will feel to write something on it...
i've been noticing that people are living with fear as their primal feeling, whether they are aware of it or (mostly not)... making their lifes difficult, struggeling... reactions out of fear are the worst... and the circle goes on.
when you're at ease with life, then things run smoothly, at work for example... you're doing your work easily, not much efford, the success is always present... people around you, nervous zombies (at least at my workplace), they feel threatened, even though you're not directly involved into anywhing they do... out of that and probably other similar fear related feelings, they get into your way all the time... all the time. it's a pain.
you're at work so many hours every day, therefore, you can't ignore, you can't 'let it go by'...
what do you do?
be well..
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Post by enigma on Jun 12, 2011 14:11:58 GMT -5
I dunno. That's the point at which i changed careers and started working for and by myself. I literally picked a place on the map, left everybody and everything behind and started over. I've since re-engaged to some degree, (Internet businesses and self employed contractor with no employees) though the struggle with how folks are being is no longer a part of that engagement, so it's not seen as a problem.
I spose you could skip that middle step somehow, but I wouldn't know anything about how to do that.
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Post by zendancer on Jun 12, 2011 14:59:43 GMT -5
E: Whatever led you to change careers, leave everything behind, and start over must be an interesting story!
I'm in a similar situation. As a self-employed contractor using only subcontractors, I have no employees and get to do my own thing (design, build, coordinate, manage, etc.). Subcontractors are highly motivated, and therefore they're fun to work with. The good subs are fast, efficient, and interested in doing quality work, so its a win-win for everyone. My work is like play, so I can't imagine wanting to do anything that would add any stress. The other night I had dinner with a contractor who has a large organization. He is constantly rushing to find enough customers to support his company and he has many levels of management to contend with. He builds large expensive custom homes and commercial buildings. I told him that every time I drive by one of his projects I think, "I'm so glad that he's building that project rather than me." LOL. I only have to satisfy myself and Carol whereas he has to satisfy customers, employees, bankers, agents, etc. I've done that in the past, and it wasn't nearly enough fun to justify the hassles.
Like Astarxy, I'm amazed at how much fear people feel, and I'm always surprised that so many people consider fear a major factor in their lives. Of course, it helps to not have a self image that needs to be defended or enhanced. It also helps to realize that who we are needs nothing to be secure.
What can one do to deal with insecure unhappy people at work? Ummmm, leave. Ha ha. If that is not an option, then perhaps use an approach I heard about two weeks ago. Someone close to me often works with difficult people. When those people get angry or unreasonable, she thinks to herself, "Ching, ching, ching!" LOL. She reminds herself that she is getting well paid for dealing with such people. It helps keep her work situation in perspective until she can substitute easier people to deal with.
Another option might be taking regular breaks to treat oneself for putting up with a difficult work environment or difficult people. Go have a caramel frappucino or take a walk around the block. Better yet, take a week off and go on a vacation. Work is always more fun after a bit of relaxation.
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Post by kate on Jun 12, 2011 20:02:12 GMT -5
My time is split between working for others but on my own in a very autonomous way and working in a small team. The leader of the team is a challenge. She micro manages the most straightforward of tasks and goes into a mad panic when things don't turn out as planned. In the case of the latter her first reaction is always to find someone to blame rather than fix whatever is wrong. The very touching thing about this is that she actually knows she is being this way and will regularly apologise but she just can't seem to help it. Over time it has become kind of funny and it doesn't trouble me as much.
For a long time I tried to convince myself that I needed to be accepting of these sorts of situations; that there was something to learn from them. Just recently I decided that I've learned everything I am ever going to learn (it's been ten years) and it might be time to make a change. I think my own fear of doing this is what has been holding me back as opposed to the desire to learn some lesson.
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Post by enigma on Jun 12, 2011 20:40:56 GMT -5
E: Whatever led you to change careers, leave everything behind, and start over must be an interesting story! Not really. hehe. Joy! I left Texas Instruments after 18 years as an electrical engineer designing anti-ship missiles for the US Navy. As we used to say in the defense contract biz, i could tell you all about it but then I'd hafta kill ya! We were a pretty hillarious crowd.  Anyhoo, it was like leaving home for the first time. I lived in my van at the beach and in the mountains in Oregon for a while and then bought a very cool contemporary house on a hillside and remodeled it top to bottom. Sold that and did it again about a dozen times. I have to say I never worked so hard in my life but i loved it. Sounds like a pretty good arrangement you have. You could say my business runs on the lack of trust that folks have for home repair contractors. Most of my customers know several others that I do work for, so it's like a family affair. The trust is implicit and i take care of my customer's needs. I rarely advertise because my customers do it for me. Makes for a very friendly, relaxed working atmosphere. |
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astarxy
Junior Member
Live and let live
Posts: 54
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Post by astarxy on Jun 13, 2011 11:20:34 GMT -5
For a long time I tried to convince myself that I needed to be accepting of these sorts of situations; that there was something to learn from them. Just recently I decided that I've learned everything I am ever going to learn (it's been ten years) and it might be time to make a change. I think my own fear of doing this is what has been holding me back as opposed to the desire to learn some lesson. i try not to convince myself too much... and more flow with the feelings that always tell me the right path... always... in the past i pushed them aside, didn't listen... i paid pretty high price... but in the end it was worth it... better realize the truth at some point in life than never... when you do become more conscious, you are amazed how most of things you've done before hed been just an illusion... this recognition alone is worth every second of pain... then when you arrive to some other level of experiencing life, crossroads with other people occur... some let you by easily, some just won't let you be... their fear and negativity they're used to is ruling over them... i will never forget Mooji's words which go something like this: you are the master over your feelings, they are your servant. mostly people allow the other way round. how long is too long to put up the workplace happening... when i'll feel it's really truly enough, i belive... like you say, Kate... i believe it was some inner message that led you towards you decision... and... most definitelly everything that happens to each one of us, does so because we need that lecture... no matter how painful or not painful it is... my lecture hurt i thought i won't make it... but now i can say i got everything i wanted (and more) and in fact i need to thank all those who stand on my way (so they think  )... patience and belief i have... and also many vacation days still to use  ... so i guess for now i'm not removing myself anywhere, nor accepting... i'm dealing with it... with the best that's in me. thank you. be well* |
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Post by therealfake on Jun 13, 2011 15:38:49 GMT -5
I think someone has already said this, but the reality is that we are all 'seeking' the same thing...
It's Love
Well not everyone, because some have realized that they are Love, a non conceptual love, a boundless eternal love, that blows the socks off of conceptual love...
So peeps, although they're screaming in your face, or trying to sabotage you, they're doing it from a place of great need, for love...
It's an insight, but one that you can choose to ignore or choose to bare witness to.
And see if you can see yourself in your brother and sister...
Hah, easier said than done, I know...
I've got nothing for ya, except sticking with the awareness and knowing that it's about Love, always has been, always will be...
Peace and Lot's of Love, which you already have a universal supply of...
;D
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Post by heretic on Jun 13, 2011 19:25:51 GMT -5
I think someone has already said this, but the reality is that we are all 'seeking' the same thing... It's Love Well not everyone, because some have realized that they are Love, a non conceptual love, a boundless eternal love, that blows the socks off of conceptual love... So peeps, although they're screaming in your face, or trying to sabotage you, they're doing it from a place of great need, for love... It's an insight, but one that you can choose to ignore or choose to bare witness to. And see if you can see yourself in your brother and sister... Hah, easier said than done, I know... I've got nothing for ya, except sticking with the awareness and knowing that it's about Love, always has been, always will be... Peace and Lot's of Love, which you already have a universal supply of... ;D TRF!!! Yes! True love is here and now. Whatever we can remember or anticipate is only a shadow of love. |
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Post by angela on Jun 13, 2011 20:56:39 GMT -5
when the truth really woke up and started to work on me, i got rid of everything i owned, got a backpack and sleeping bag, and went out walking around the country. there was so much fear involved in that step that i am amazed that it actually happened - but the wisdom there at work was far greater than i could have imagined. by facing the basic, animal fears about security (food, shelter etc) what was discovered was a great sense of belonging to just this, just this right here, right now.... and a kind of unshakable gratitude for things just as they were..... all of which i wonder if i could have discovered any other way. that which you really are is never in a bit of danger, it's never in trouble and cannot be harmed. for me though, i didn't find that out until i was willing to risk a bit of what seemed sort of dangerous at the time. |
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Post by heretic on Jun 14, 2011 5:26:45 GMT -5
when the truth really woke up and started to work on me, i got rid of everything i owned, got a backpack and sleeping bag, and went out walking around the country. there was so much fear involved in that step that i am amazed that it actually happened - but the wisdom there at work was far greater than i could have imagined. by facing the basic, animal fears about security (food, shelter etc) what was discovered was a great sense of belonging to just this, just this right here, right now.... and a kind of unshakable gratitude for things just as they were..... all of which i wonder if i could have discovered any other way. that which you really are is never in a bit of danger, it's never in trouble and cannot be harmed. for me though, i didn't find that out until i was willing to risk a bit of what seemed sort of dangerous at the time. I can tell by what you've shared here that you know, beyond time, that all fear is the fear of death in its many disguises. You're unafraid of letting go, and understand that love dances in the freshness of the unknown. |
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Post by mamza on Jun 14, 2011 12:18:04 GMT -5
when the truth really woke up and started to work on me, i got rid of everything i owned, got a backpack and sleeping bag, and went out walking around the country. there was so much fear involved in that step that i am amazed that it actually happened - but the wisdom there at work was far greater than i could have imagined. by facing the basic, animal fears about security (food, shelter etc) what was discovered was a great sense of belonging to just this, just this right here, right now.... and a kind of unshakable gratitude for things just as they were..... all of which i wonder if i could have discovered any other way. that which you really are is never in a bit of danger, it's never in trouble and cannot be harmed. for me though, i didn't find that out until i was willing to risk a bit of what seemed sort of dangerous at the time. One of my friends just left on a 6 month hike down to Georgia or something. I'm kind of wishing I had gone with him. Living in the woods has been my dream since I was five, along with making a house on top of a tree in the middle of a lake. It's too bad I didn't realize how massive a tree would have to be to do what I wanted to do, but hey... when I dream it's gotta be a good one. I could've sworn that I posted this last night, though.. |
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astarxy
Junior Member
Live and let live
Posts: 54
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Post by astarxy on Jun 14, 2011 12:19:54 GMT -5
So peeps, although they're screaming in your face, or trying to sabotage you, they're doing it from a place of great need, for love... goshh... i know... i got to this conclusion already... and yes, it's hard. or maby not, when you realize that you can love people who attack you, but still draw a line to where they can go... sometimes we need to draw lines... in the process we all learn and maby the lines disappear... interactions like this teach us patience and forgiveness, don't they? i don't feel really threatened, i believe. i just don't have that energy all the time, my work is pretty demanding and i need peace and quiet that i never have... specific amount of energy goes for working in such environment... and then additionally people craving for love... it's then when it gets hard for me. but... i'll manage. like always. thanks to all*** |
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waddicalwabbit
Full Member
Let's all go down the wabbit hole
Posts: 125
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Post by waddicalwabbit on Jun 16, 2011 0:42:23 GMT -5
yeah, I choose not to work for anyone else either. I was self employed almost my whole life. I prefer not to hang around downtown Manhattan on a busy street corner breathing exhaust too and I hardly ever stick my finger in light sockets anymore. Just a preference really.
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