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Post by grapefruit on Apr 22, 2011 17:36:59 GMT -5
I just took the "first step" about a week ago and um... well, hello 1984... wasn't quite expecting the scale of it.
My question is now what? Any advice for the newcomer? Do I just go sit in a dark room for two years and type myself out jed style? I can barely see myself keeping down a job at the moment. How was it for you after you "stepped into the void" so to speak, what did you do?
Also if anyone has any experience with the physical symptoms that'd be cool to hear about, my heartbeats been kinda irregular and sometimes a hard beat aswell as lots of other painful goodies.
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Post by teetown on Apr 22, 2011 17:50:28 GMT -5
Hi Grapefruit, I don't have any useful advice to give, since I'm not "finished" or whatever. But if you would like to share more about what happened, since it's still so fresh in your mind, I'm curious to hear about it.
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Post by grapefruit on Apr 22, 2011 18:09:46 GMT -5
Ok well kind of a weird story but here goes... I went off up to scotland with a load of salvia extract to camp and work on awakening, pretty confident of myself played around with the salvia for a bit then started upping the dosage. Eventually one of the hits I took made all these snakes come out of the right side of my mind, they touched my body and I had this strong feeling like "run!".
After that I sort of rolled about in my tent for a bit like "nonono! I cannot do this shit." and then I had a recognition of some sort and fell into this loveydovey state after a while of this I smoke another hit and the snakes didn't seem as scarey any more, so I kept smoking hit after hit after hit just throwing myself at this mass of snakes and bugs n stuff. Then one of the hits I smoked reality just opens up and I see two people being eaten and the snakes say "you're next" and it seems like they have eaten half of me this seem 100% real to me because I'm whacked out. Needless to say I was scared shitless and kind of shaked it off, I spend the next 7 days rolling around in a state of turmoil my consciousness seems to explode a couple of times and there are a couple of relaxed days after these explosions.
I decide to come back home because reality just seems void of anything only to find this hasn't left me so I'm guessing this is what Jed calls the "first step". On my way back everyone just seems totally miserable and the dreamstate of the human race very apparent. I seem to be a very different person and totally hellbent on self-destruction in whatever means possible. I find myself at home, drunk and about to go to sleep atm.
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Post by Peter on Apr 23, 2011 2:56:22 GMT -5
How was it for you after you "stepped into the void" so to speak, what did you do? Ha Ha. Wrote furiously for 3 months (getting up at 4am to write more because the thoughts kept coming and wouldn't let me go back to sleep until I got them down on paper), then went psychotic and got myself sectioned, held down by 6 burly orderlies and tranqualized. Do make sure you sleep - use blackout blinds, no caffeine, etc. Sleeping is sooo important. I know about the heart thing you mention, and ZD spoke about it recently as well. I also thought I was going to die and faced up to that - realised it wasn't anything personal, etc. It wasn't just perception in my case because my wife said she could see my chest jumping with it. My advice would be just to sit down and breathe your way through it. Breathing also v important. Keep doing it. Good luck!
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Post by sharon on Apr 23, 2011 3:50:54 GMT -5
And eat well ~ the body must be kept nutritioned. Raw fruit and vegetables, Carbohydrates, Fish oils and Water.
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Post by frankshank on Apr 23, 2011 7:26:50 GMT -5
I haven't gone through what you're experiencing Grapefruit so forgive me if it's not my place to advise. What I can state based on my life experience is that suffering can be laughed at. It can be laughed at real hard. Mock the misery. If there's a competitve side to you treat it as a game that will be won even if ultimately there is no winner!
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Post by grapefruit on Apr 23, 2011 8:20:22 GMT -5
Peter: Wowzer that sounds pretty heavy, great advice cheers. I also pretty much managed to come to terms with the physical stuff, you're experience sounds similar there. Have been doing deep breathing whenever I remember. Thinking about starting a little QiGong too. sharon: I will keep that in mind never done much on nutrition but it's always good to have some fruit and stuff. frankshank: Indeed it did occur to me that at least it was an interesting turn of events. To quote Crowley "Life may have been too much for Buddha but it's at least too dull for me."
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Post by sharon on Apr 23, 2011 14:40:49 GMT -5
From the mythological perspective, the snakes coming out of the head reminds me of Medusa ~ the story goes that when Medusa's head was cut off Pegasus was released.
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Post by grapefruit on Apr 23, 2011 17:03:48 GMT -5
Well, just death anxiety IMO. Casteneda does say that death is to your right. I think it's the same thing bernadette roberts talks about with the "icy fingers". It's like they touch your body and it sends shivers through you, quite disconcerting really.
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Post by sharon on Apr 23, 2011 17:46:26 GMT -5
It's all contained within the 'concert' though yeah?
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Post by grapefruit on Apr 23, 2011 18:03:42 GMT -5
That's what they tell you afterward.
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Post by sharon on Apr 23, 2011 18:59:35 GMT -5
And you knew it beforehand ...
?
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Post by grapefruit on Apr 24, 2011 9:07:47 GMT -5
Well not as well but I suppose, why?
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Post by sharon on Apr 24, 2011 9:31:38 GMT -5
Ok, so what was the 'they' that told you afterward?
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Post by grapefruit on Apr 24, 2011 11:42:06 GMT -5
"Death is the only wise advisor that we have. Whenever you feel, as you always do, that everything is going wrong and you're about to be annihilated, turn to your death and ask if that is so. Your death will tell you that you're wrong; that nothing really matters outside its touch. Your death will tell you, 'I haven't touched you yet." - CC
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