Post by michaelsees on Jan 9, 2011 11:01:43 GMT -5
You Don’t Even Exist!
August 30, 1992
I welcome you with all my heart. If you came here to hear a profound lecture, by an eloquent
speaker, you came to the wrong place. If you came here to hear a fool speak a bunch of nonsense,
you came to the right place. For after all what can I say to you? What can I possibly tell
you? You don't even exist! You're all an optical illusion. Nobody exists. So what should I say to
people who do not exist? There's absolutely nothing to say. Yet most of you came here dressed
in your finery, wanting to hear the speaker speak something intelligent for you, to speak something
eloquent, but you're not going to hear that, so get used to it.
I'll tell you this much. We've all been totally brainwashed since birth. Everything we believe
is false, everything. Everything we have faith in, everything we've been told in school, in
churches, everywhere, it is all false. You are false. I am false. There is no reality. If there were a
reality, you'd not be able to express it, for it would be beyond human conception. If there were a
truth, we would not be able to understand it, for it would be beyond the finite mind. The finite
mind cannot understand anything, cannot know anything. Yet there’s no finite mind, so there’s
no one to know anything.
When you look at me, what do you see? You see whatever you've been programmed to see.
You do not see reality. You see your programming. For instance, if you grew up a Christian, you
may say, “Well, Robert is sort of Christ-like.” If you were brought up an agnostic, you may say,
“Well, I don't know what the heck Robert is at all.” If you were brought up Jewish, you would
say, “Robert is a great Rabbi.” If you were brought up Buddhist, you would say, “Robert is a
Bodhisattva.” If you were brought up in a family of thieves, you would say, “Robert is a con
man.” You're seeing yourself. You're seeing your programming. You're seeing the way you've
been made to think, all of these years since you were a little boy or a little girl. It's all false.
In reality Robert is neither this nor that, neither up nor down, neither backward nor frontward,
and you are the same way. In other words, we're all nothing. But what is this nothing. Is it
really nothing? No thing? We see the whole world before us, and the whole world is subject to
the law of change. Everything changes constantly, constantly. What is real can never be changed.
Therefore what is real? Where is the reality? There is no reality. There’s really nothing that
changes. There is only that what is.
What is, is something you can never understand. People call it by names like Brahman, absolute
reality, consciousness, the self, pure effortless, choiceless awareness. These are all names.
Most of you have heard these names again, and again and again. You've read many books.
You've been to many teachers. You've seen many lectures. And yet, where are you now? Have
you come any closer to self-realization? Is there really anybody who has to become self-realized?
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Is there such a thing as self-realization? You don't really know. You're only speaking from books
you've read, from sermons you've listened to, from lectures you have heard, from tapes, teachers.
You've heard certain words, certain phraseologies, certain so called truths. Yet what good does it
do you?
The only effort you'll ever make is when you keep silent. When you are silent, everything is
done through you. The tree outside is totally silent, yet it grows beautiful leaves all by itself. It
doesn't have to talk to grow leaves. It doesn't have to become anything to grow leaves. It doesn't
have to do a thing. Yet we all believe we have to do certain things to become self-realized. We
believe we have to practice certain sadhanas, spiritual practices. We have to meditate, year in,
year out. We believe we have to get rid of some things and add some things to our selves. But the
ultimate reality is, you have nothing to get rid of, for you have never become anything. It is all
your hallucination. It is all an optical illusion.
How can you sit there and say you're an optical illusion, when you can feel yourself, you can
see, you can hear, you can smell, you can touch? Think about a time when you're dreaming. In
the dream you're doing the same thing, aren't you? You have certain experiences, you go through
certain situations, you meet certain people, you travel to certain countries, yet you awaken in the
morning, and all that’s disappeared. The entire dream world has gone.
This is a dream world you're in now. You are dreaming the mortal dream, that you are a man,
you are a woman, you are a child, you have a job, you go through certain experiences, things
happen to you in your life. Yet this is not true. This is a lie. In reality, you've never been born,
you do not prevail, and you do not die. There's no one who ever dies, for there’s no one who was
ever born.
How can you see yourself this way? By remaining silent. By not reading so much. By not
remembering anything. By not trying to be profound and thinking you have to remember this
passage from this book, you have to remember what I said. You should never remember anything
I say. You should not believe a word I say. Why should you?
You should understand yourself, that you are the one. You are the only one. There are no
others. There is only that which has always been, and that is you. When you realize you do not
have to practice sadhana, or meditate, or go through spiritual practices with yoga, life becomes
easy, wonderful. There’s no striving for anything. There’s no trying to become somebody or
something. You are your self. You have always been your self, the self which is bright and shining,
the self which is. You are that self.
Can you feel this? Can you feel that you’re not your body, or your mind, or the world, or
words, or books? Can you feel that you have no needs, no desires, no wants? Can you feel that
you can not be hurt, in any way whatsoever, that you are perfect and pure, just the way you are,
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there’s absolutely nothing you have to surrender, for you never had anything except the pure self
that you are? Can you feel your emotions, the anger, the self-destructive emotions you've carried
along for so many years, the animosities, the hatred? Can you realize this is not part of you that
this never existed? Can you feel this, that right now you are pure intelligence, right this moment,
right now? You are the ultimate, right now, just the way you are.
When I say just the way you are, I am not referring to your body, the way you appear to be.
Just the way you are is absolute Brahman. Just the way you are is the self. Therefore when I
speak words like this, with what do you identify? When I say you are perfect just the way you
are, you think of your name, and your body, and your mind, and the person you appear to be.
That's not who you are. That's not just the way you are. Just the way you are is God, what we call
God. When I tell you to stay just the way you are, I'm referring to your true self, you real nature,
your reality, swarupa. Stay just the way you are, never change. But when you start thinking, you
spoil it. As soon as you start thinking about it, you spoil it.
Yet you can stop the mind from thinking, if you want to. You may practice self-inquiry. You
may ask yourself, "Who am I? Who am I who thinks? Who am I who appears to exist? Who am I
who appears to have problems? Who sees the world as a threat?" And the answer’s right in the
question, for you are asking Who am I? This I is not you. This I you are inquiring about is not
you at all. It is really your ego.
So when you practice self-inquiry, you begin to understand, basically, that you are not the I,
the I that's always in need, the I that feels frustrated, the I that believes something is wrong
someplace. “Who am I?” means, “Where does this I come from? Where does this false I originate
from? Who created it? Who gave it birth? Who am I?”
When you ask the question, "Who am I?” you’re never referring to the higher consciousness,
the absolute reality, to pure awareness. This is not I. The question is meant for your ego, to try to
see, to understand, that the I-thought is the only enemy you've got. The I -thought has always
been the culprit, that's caused you eons of misery, karmic affliction, reincarnation, samskaras.
All of these things are attached to the I. Not to you, but to the I. Not to you, but the I. Can't you
begin to see now that you are totally free? It is the I that has the problems? By seeking the source
of the I, all of your problems, all of the world, your body, everything will disappear. It will all
dissolve into the source. What is the source? I'm not speaking about applesauce. The source is
your self. You are the source, and you are nirvana. The I has absolutely nothing to do with you.
Think about this. Those of you who wish to practice atma-vichara, start doing this in the
morning when you first wake up. Inquire, "Who am I?” and keep still. Never answer that question.
As thoughts come into your mind, you begin to think, inquire, “To whom do these thoughts
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come? To whom do these thoughts come? Who’s thinking these thoughts? To whom do they
come? Why, they come to me of course. I think these thoughts. I, I, I. Who am I?"
You continue the process. You remain still again. As more thoughts come into your mind,
you inquire, “To whom do they come? They come to me. I think these thoughts. Well, who am
I?" As you continue to practice this method, you will notice that the space in between “Who am
I?” becomes larger and larger, more extensive. There isa vast gap between “Who am I?” whenever
you say it. That gap is your reality. The day will come when you say, “Who am I?” you will
keep silence for hours. The mind will no longer move. The thoughts will no longer come. The
feelings will become transcended, and you will be totally free and liberated.
Yet, some of you do not have to do this at all. Some of you may just awaken, by being at sat-
sang, by hearing me talk about nothing. It's up to you. That's right. It's up to you.
I realize some of you are saying, “Robert, if I could only awaken, I would do it. How could it
be up to me? I want it. I want to become free and liberated." But do you? What’s the most important
thing in your life right now? And you'll see why you're not liberated. There’s something
you're attached to, that you’ll not let go. This is what keeps you in bondage.
The word liberation simply means to be non-attached to person, place or thing. When you're
not attached to person, place or thing, nothing binds you, and you are totally free. Now I don't
mean that you have to leave your family, you have to leave your job and go away on a mountaintop.
I'm speaking of mentally. It all happens in your mind. And then, in the end, in the last analysis,
the mind has to go also. And then you're free.
So those of you who are saying, “Why am I not free now? Why am I still bound?” I say to
you, when did you become angry last? When did you become annoyed last? When did something
irritate you last? When did you become upset last? When were you worried about your body,
about your circumstances, last? When did you concern yourself about the world last? These are
the things that hold you in bondage. This is why we talk about bondage, for you are in bondage
when you believe the world can do something to you, can turn you on this way, and turn you off
this way. When you take the world seriously, you are in bondage.
Yet, you’re saying to me, “Robert, how can I not worry about this world? I cannot be inhuman.
Look at the dastardly things going on in this world? Look at man's inhumanity to man, the
wars we have going on." My answer to you is to whom does this come? If you want to change
the world, you've got to become enlightened. You've got to awaken, for when you awaken, you
will see the world in a new perspective. You will see the world as your self.
Now this becomes paradoxical. You will be able to look at this world, and you will see your
self, just as right this moment, you are seeing the world as yourself. If you're seeing hard times,
if you're seeing trouble, affliction, this is because you’re seeing yourself. You're seeing what you
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feel. But a realized person does not see this. A realized person observes this, but sees the reality,
perfection.
Just as a screen is covered with images in the movie theatre, when you watch the movie, you
identify totally and completely with the movie, with the images that are going on on the screen.
You never think of the screen at all, do you? You think of the images. It has a beginning, a middle,
and an end. When the picture is finished, it is the screen. The screen has always been there.
The images have changed.
In the same instance all of the conditions of life are superimposed on consciousness, which is
your self. In other words, all of this is going on within you. All of the world's trials and tribulations
are going on within yourself. You are the creator. It's all happening within you. You are the
one who gives it power by sending it forth from yourself. Where else would it come from?
Again we go back to the dream analysis. Who would ever believe that a dream comes out of
yourself? A person who has never dreamt would laugh in your face, for he would say, “How can
a different world, that appears to be like the same world, exist? How can I have other experiences
besides the experiences I have now? How can the entire world become real to me?” But it
does. As you know you've all dreamt. You do not pay any attention to this. When the dream is
over you awaken, you forget about your dream.
The world is the same way. The world is a cosmic dream. It is up to you to awaken from this
world dream. The idea is to keep the mind quiet and still, and not follow the I-thought out into
this world, where it causes havoc and pain, but to keep the I-thought centered in your heart
where it belongs, in your spiritual heart, where it can never come out again.
