|
|
Post by angela on Jan 8, 2011 12:34:57 GMT -5
the first part of my awakening was when i was homeless and begging (and had nowhere to return to, no family home that i could have gone back to, so there was a sense of "this is it" to the whole thing...)
at one point i didn't have shoes and i was walking and hitchhiking across nevada. there was a profound, unending sense of gratitude so gigantic that words cannot express it. every moment i got exactly what i needed at that moment, there was never any questions or doubts otherwise. it wasn't that "i" was content with the "will of god" it was that there was no separation between the body going about it's business and the environment doing what it was doing. everything was perfect.
i am not sure that people who are not fully aware of this non-separation feel the kind of gratitude that i did during that time, many of them probably struggle with their daily experiences, but the absolute knowing that everything was right in the universe was the center of the whole experience of life for me during that time.
(it also seems appropriate to mention that in more impoverished communities around the world, there does seem a stronger sense of not being separate from each other and from life, and a more profound sense of gratitude for What Is - or at least i've seen that in my travels)
and also, along the way as i was homeless, i met more people who were wisdom teachers than i have ever met anywhere else.
before my experiences with being houseless and begging, i was a fearful creature, based on a sort of deprivation mentality and i was unable to live in the moment. during that time, a sense of openness unveiled itself, a sincere acceptance of WHAT IS and the gratitude for live as such has never once left my system.
|
|
|
|
Post by karen on Jan 8, 2011 12:35:14 GMT -5
I guess I can't contribute then because my hellish polarities were entirely self created. In fact, you might scoff at the physical ease of my life - never tapping into one ounce of the pain experienced.
|
|
|
|
Post by angela on Jan 8, 2011 12:40:53 GMT -5
karen it's funny you bring that up, i was just writing about that this morning.... there is so much seemingly 'self crated' things like 'mental illness' or 'borderline personalities' in the american society.... it's fascinating because it's like, well, deep down the we all know the truth, and we can't hide in illusion forever, right? so the lack of ability to be stable inside of a fictional reality isn't very shocking, is it? no wonder so many people up alone in the middle of the night feel like something is deeply and profoundly wrong.
and drawing on the post i wrote above - i suffered extremely from a "borderline personality" when i was young - and the stint being homeless was the first time, the very first time ever (at 28 years old, mind you) that life ever made one iota of sense to me. it was the first time i didn't have to live in a way where i was forced to create a false self i didn't quite believe in and try to put energy into maintaning it..... maybe that is why the experience was so profound and liberating for me.
|
|
|
|
Post by therealfake on Jan 8, 2011 12:43:48 GMT -5
One satsang teacher said the the "holiest" act is to "see" what is happening as it actually "is".
The being "Is" and the human is a "becoming".
I can"t help being a human, but I can recognize how the human functions.
My self image is very good at keeping my attention so busy, that it hardly ever focuses on the false premises that sustains it.
For me, the self image has convinced itself (the mind) and consequently my attention, of a primal urge.
That primal urge is to be "something", it doesn't matter what, just to be "something", as opposed to simply "being".
It urges me to be better, smarter, richer, etc, etc, and so the goose chase begins.
The reason why I fell for this outward search, is because in reality I was really searching for the qualities of the "being", joy, peace, love, etc, etc...
I want a million dollars, Why? So I can have peace, freedom and the control to do what I want.
I can't stop this game the mind is playing and I don't have to.
I simply recognize a thought, as a "thought".
I simply recognize a feeling of lack, as a "feeling".
I simply recognize emotions as movements of energy, caused by a thought or some story that I have made real with self identity.
I need do nothing, but to see things as they actually are.
When I do that, I return to "being".
PS: Suffering always happens, when I add to or want to change what is happening.
It's a denial and a lack of faith in that which I already am, "being"
TRF
|
|
|
|
Post by michaelsees on Jan 8, 2011 12:47:20 GMT -5
the first part of my awakening was when i was homeless and begging (and had nowhere to return to, no family home that i could have gone back to, so there was a sense of "this is it" to the whole thing...) at one point i didn't have shoes and i was walking and hitchhiking across nevada. there was a profound, unending sense of gratitude so gigantic that words cannot express it. every moment i got exactly what i needed at that moment, there was never any questions or doubts otherwise. it wasn't that "i" was content with the "will of god" it was that there was no separation between the body going about it's business and the environment doing what it was doing. everything was perfect. i am not sure that people who are not fully aware of this non-separation feel the kind of gratitude that i did during that time, many of them probably struggle with their daily experiences, but the absolute knowing that everything was right in the universe was the center of the whole experience of life for me during that time. (it also seems appropriate to mention that in more impoverished communities around the world, there does seem a stronger sense of not being separate from each other and from life, and a more profound sense of gratitude for What Is - or at least i've seen that in my travels) and also, along the way as i was homeless, i met more people who were wisdom teachers than i have ever met anywhere else. before my experiences with being houseless and begging, i was a fearful creature, based on a sort of deprivation mentality and i was unable to live in the moment. during that time, a sense of openness unveiled itself, a sincere acceptance of WHAT IS and the gratitude for live as such has never once left my system. Nice story Angela would you share with it what your actual awakening was like. Was it gradual, was is quick. Was it once for all and did it seem as if things just became a little better day by day? Thanks Michael |
|
|
|
Post by karen on Jan 8, 2011 13:10:21 GMT -5
Speaking of imagination: I'm looking forward to singularity when humans will no longer need to do toilsome tasks and machines will do those. Every person then will have every material thing we can now imagine and more: this will lead them to stew in thought and come to the existential breaking point. It will be grand.  |
|
|
|
Post by michaelsees on Jan 8, 2011 13:55:06 GMT -5
Speaking of imagination: I'm looking forward to singularity when humans will no longer need to do toilsome tasks and machines will do those. Every person then will have every material thing we can now imagine and more: this will lead them to stew in thought and come to the existential breaking point. It will be grand. doubt it Karen the TV has already made plenty of stew all over the world. I remember on my first trip to India you could go into the poorest areas and still TV's everywhere the same in Latin-America. Funny though I am working on a TV program called the non duality show with Jay Leno as host. From show start to finish all you will see is Jay saying who am I over and over. When the show ends we have a how many woke up today with the last caller getting a free TV. The only problem is the script is only 3 words and the producers say they need more content !  Michael |
|
|
|
Post by zendancer on Jan 8, 2011 13:58:29 GMT -5
Well yes sure it is but what is not in this world. What I am trying to drive here is the real benefits of knowing who you are and living in a world with such intense imagine polarity. It's very easy to do if your life is basically stable to just sit on the will of god and see what happens next. It's another thing to do if you do not know where your next meal is coming from and you are really hurting. It would be wonderful to hear more stories of folks that feel they have awaken at least some to the illusion of the world and to share if this awakening has helped them. Why have such a hard time with this. If only healthy ,stable people living in a safe and nice situation in life talk about this path so what? Anyhow this kind of talk brings up a lot of defensiveness in some so what? Michael Sometimes I think that Tony Parsons has the best approach. LOL. IOW who could possibly benefit from knowing who they are? And who imagines good circumstances and bad circumstances? Not knowing is the way. If pain comes, OWWWW! If pleasure comes, ahhhhhhh. If someone is hungry, give them food. There are no implications. |
|
|
|
Post by enigma on Jan 8, 2011 15:10:18 GMT -5
Good discussion. What this is about is ending what Karen refers to as "imagination", so of course it doesn't work to imagine scenarios in which it doesn't work. In this sense, Zen's wording of "non-abiding in mind" makes more sense than the traditional 'abiding in awareness' which leads to more imagination in mind as to what this awareness thingy is. It's not about finding out who we are. The question is a rhetorical pointing away from what we are not.
Angela's wonderful story about hitching barefoot and homeless through Nevada and being grateful for getting everything she needs is a great example of the joy that results from no longer imagining what we need. The universe isn't actually out to get anybody and experience isn't separate from creation. Life can play out in infinite ways, but it's never in opposition to the individual. It just seems that way when the individual draws the battle lines and then has to play out the battle.
My life goes on much as Angela describes, though not nearly as stark at the moment. I don't know how the bills are going to get paid, and yet they do. Just when I can't go another month, something sells or a big contract falls into my lap from nowhere. Last summer, when I didn't know how the bills were going to be paid, my coffee pot caught on fire and burned part of the kitchen. What awful luck, right? How could I possibly be at peace in such a malevolent universe? The insurance company paid $15,000 for the repairs, and since I'm a contractor, I repaired it myself for a third of that. Problem solved.
Is it possible to live in gratitude no matter what? Yes, if you can be content with what you need instead of what you want, and if you can stop imagining that something has gone horribly wrong, or imagining that it will, which is remarkably creative.
|
|
|
|
Post by karen on Jan 8, 2011 16:17:12 GMT -5
doubt it Karen the TV has already made plenty of stew all over the world. I remember on my first trip to India you could go into the poorest areas and still TV's everywhere the same in Latin-America. right over my head. But thanks for the input nonetheless. |
|
mits
Junior Member
Posts: 92
|
Post by mits on Jan 8, 2011 16:44:15 GMT -5
Zendancer I have to admit it is quite hard living life in the moment and accepting whatever happens as the will of God. Does that mean if one is stuck in a dead-end job then it is the will of God. It seems to be more about surrendering and acceptance to me... Also by the way is synchronocity and serendipity a will of god or is it a blessing from source. As weird things have happened to me in the past and one cannot make sense of it. What are you thoughts on these? Mits: The truth is beyond words or thoughts, but we can use words to point to the truth. Is a dead-end job the will of God? Yes. Is a fabulous fascinating high-paying job the will of God? Yes. There is only oneness here, so whatever is happening is the will of God. There is no one who can surrender to anything or accept anything because there is only oneness. Oneness manifests as apparent dead-end jobs, apparent blessings, apparent synchronicity, apparent weirdness, etc, and you're right; one cannot make sense of it. The mind can't get it at all. It is absolutely unimaginable. Is it hard to live life in the moment and accept whatever happens as the will of God? Only if you think something should be happening that is other than what is happening. If you watch what is happening without having ideas about what should be happening, you will find that life is a lot of fun. Zendancer, Quite hard to digest! (lol) But if one does accept the Dead-End Job as Gods Will well then I won't be able to do any-thing else as I will be content with the Job. But the funny thing is at my current job I have noticed thoughts of finding a new job entering my consciousness. I have observed these thoughts whilst serving customers, counting the change but there definatley seem to be some energy attached to these thoughts; it definately wants me to be look for a new job. Meant these thoughts.... I will try and obey these thoughts and maybe see where they lead. |
|
|
|
Post by therealfake on Jan 8, 2011 18:53:49 GMT -5
Good discussion. What this is about is ending what Karen refers to as "imagination", so of course it doesn't work to imagine scenarios in which it doesn't work. In this sense, Zen's wording of "non-abiding in mind" makes more sense than the traditional 'abiding in awareness' which leads to more imagination in mind as to what this awareness thingy is. It's not about finding out who we are. The question is a rhetorical pointing away from what we are not. Angela's wonderful story about hitching barefoot and homeless through Nevada and being grateful for getting everything she needs is a great example of the joy that results from no longer imagining what we need. The universe isn't actually out to get anybody and experience isn't separate from creation. Life can play out in infinite ways, but it's never in opposition to the individual. It just seems that way when the individual draws the battle lines and then has to play out the battle. My life goes on much as Angela describes, though not nearly as stark at the moment. I don't know how the bills are going to get paid, and yet they do. Just when I can't go another month, something sells or a big contract falls into my lap from nowhere. Last summer, when I didn't know how the bills were going to be paid, my coffee pot caught on fire and burned part of the kitchen. What awful luck, right? How could I possibly be at peace in such a malevolent universe? The insurance company paid $15,000 for the repairs, and since I'm a contractor, I repaired it myself for a third of that. Problem solved. Is it possible to live in gratitude no matter what? Yes, if you can be content with what you need instead of what you want, and if you can stop imagining that something has gone horribly wrong, or imagining that it will, which is remarkably creative. Yes, that's the thing that a only a few people realize, that once you are in harmony or in synchronicity with life, you will be taken care of. It's not necessary to know the how and why of it, just that it happens that way. |
|
|
|
Post by michaelsees on Jan 8, 2011 19:25:42 GMT -5
I doubt it very much thought it makes a wonderful story. This is my take just because a person awakens to the truth it gives them no special status at all. Think about it the real you has never changed and never will. There is not some intelligence out there that gives special notice to the imaginary you. Here's what I think happens when you become awake to who you are and you are just watching life to see what happens next then you are not allowing all kinds of thoughts to come in and registrar with you creating a big mess. By just being and watching you are allowing yourself to be "clean" to the moment. Now if those moments turn not to help you that is just the way it is. It is what it is the only difference is you are at peace with what is. A pair of shoes showing up in a nearby ditch for Angela to put her feet into on her journey would be there regardless if that is what is and if not the lady goes barefoot. The thing is it's much easier to see those shoes if you are not mentally going ape around your situation. That's how I take it to be. Michael Yes, that's the thing that a only a few people realize, that once you are in harmony or in synchronicity with life, you will be taken care of. It's not necessary to know the how and why of it, just that it happens that way. |
|
|
|
Post by enigma on Jan 8, 2011 22:33:21 GMT -5
Yeah, that's basically what's being said. The universe takes care of itself a lot better than the mind does. And no, I'm not postulating some intelligence 'out there' that gives special notice to anything. I AM suggesting the intelligence is right here creating as much as it is perceiving, and creation is open ended, not bound by some rules about what can and can't happen.
On the other hand, creation isn't personal, which is the point about not getting what you want.
|
|
|
|
Post by michaelsees on Jan 9, 2011 10:09:07 GMT -5
On the other hand, creation isn't personal, which is the point about not getting what you want. Are you joking when it comes to my Mom's deserts it's a big point! ha ha Michael |
|
