Strange Visual Experience

[teetown]

This evening I was in a relatively peaceful state. Thoughts were somewhat quiet, compared to the usual rum drum of constant thinking that I'm used to. It was kind of nice. I found myself paying a lot of attention to sensory information like ZD tells folks to do.

So, and this is kind of funny, I'm sitting on the can, doing my thing and reading a book. Franklin Merrell Wolff's Experience and Philosophy. I don't even remember what passage I read specifically, but as I'm contemplating what I'm reading, my vision kind of softens or relaxes until I'm taking in the whole view of the book in my hands instead of the individual words on the page.

Then the damnedest thing happened.

Gah, of course these kinds of things are so hard to describe, but I'll do my best: I kept quietly looking at the book in my hands, and then all of the sudden this space seemed to open up like right here where I'm at. There was a sense of a big space right here and it felt like looking through a window.

It was kind of like, me, teetown, the observer disappeared and instead there was this big open window where normally I imagine my face to be.

In this window, this book and hands are kind of floating there, in that space. And they seemed to take on an extra dimension of reality. It was as if I had been seeing in 2D my whole life and suddenly the 3rd dimension was revealed. So clear and vivid. A word that comes to mind is "intimacy." There was a level of intimacy with what I was seeing that I've never experienced before.

This experience lasted for maybe 30 seconds to a minute and then everything was back to normal 2D again. My own amazement at what happened seemed to collapse the "window." Thoughts came up like "wow that was cool" and then it was over.

I tried to bring the experience back later this evening with varying amounts of success. I think my

I don't think this was a hallucination or delusion. This felt more real than normal real life.

What does it all mean Basil? Has anyone ever experienced this before?

This wasn't mind blowing in any way, just very cool and interesting. I emailed Bob (zendancer) a while back about how things seem to be breaking loose from their moorings. Maybe this is just part of that?

[teetown]

Is there anyone here that actually "sees" anything? The answer must be no.

This morning I've had varying degrees of success shifting back into this perspective I experienced last night, although it's not as clear as the initial experience. The witness-er seems to disappear when this shift happens. Yet the world is still there and objects seem to shine forth in some self-existent way, more real and vivid than ever.

There's an awareness of a huge space permeating the field of vision and extending through me and way back behind me. Maybe I could say I am that space? I dont' know yet. It feels that way but I might be projecting things I read onto this experience. This space must have always been there but I never noticed it before.

I think this seeing may have something to do with a thought that occurred to me recently. Not really a thought - it was more of an acceptance, and acceptance of the possibility that "this is it." I've heard this repeated over and over again by different teachers; there's no place to go, nothing to do, this is it, blah blah blah. For some reason this was rejected on an unconscious level for a long time.

Then a few days ago, the thought occurred to me, "what if this is really it? What if Truth is so very very close that I never noticed it before?" There seemed to be a subtle click, a slight perspective shift when this possibility was accepted. I think it's related to the seeing experience I had last night.

[therealfake]

Jan 6, 2011 13:44:13 GMT -5 teetown said:

Is there anyone here that actually "sees" anything? The answer must be no.

This morning I've had varying degrees of success shifting back into this perspective I experienced last night, although it's not as clear as the initial experience. The witness-er seems to disappear when this shift happens. Yet the world is still there and objects seem to shine forth in some self-existent way, more real and vivid than ever.

There's an awareness of a huge space permeating the field of vision and extending through me and way back behind me. Maybe I could say I am that space? I dont' know yet. It feels that way but I might be projecting things I read onto this experience. This space must have always been there but I never noticed it before.

I think this seeing may have something to do with a thought that occurred to me recently. Not really a thought - it was more of an acceptance, and acceptance of the possibility that "this is it." I've heard this repeated over and over again by different teachers; there's no place to go, nothing to do, this is it, blah blah blah. For some reason this was rejected on an unconscious level for a long time.

Then a few days ago, the thought occurred to me, "what if this is really it? What if Truth is so very very close that I never noticed it before?" There seemed to be a subtle click, a slight perspective shift when this possibility was accepted. I think it's related to the seeing experience I had last night.

Hi Teetown,

The lack of response and I can only speak for myself, stems from the fact that, something is becoming clear for you, an awakening of sorts.

While you wake up, you may experience many such states that you are describing.

But like one master said, "forget about them".

This statement kind of minimizes the experience that you find profound at the moment, so you can see why I am reluctant to respond to it in a way that meets your expectations.

The master went on to say that, "if you want experiences, you will find experiences and if you don't find them you may even feel disappointment."

"Furthermore, let them come, enjoy them and then let them go. Hold on to nothing no matter how beautiful or how grotesque".

I think it was Mooji if you require clarification.

Good luck on your awakening

[michaelsees]

Hi Teetown cool.

A quick question while the observer disappeared were you still reading the book and if you were still reading the words when this was happening could you understand what you were reading or was it as if the words were just floating pass you?
Thanks
Michael

[souley]

Yes thats it. I stopped imagining a face in that space about two years ago. I came around to that through Douglas Hardings experiments. He calls it headlessness. "Where you told me I had a head, there is just this great space".

If you continue coming back to that space, as often as possible, "lookin in instead of looking out", it will bring up everything that is in the way of being there always. But yeah for me it wasn't very pleasant when my own non existence started to really sink in.

I would really check out "Face to No-face" with Douglas Harding. He's really all about that space and uses that language.

[klaus]

Jan 6, 2011 13:44:13 GMT -5 teetown said:

Is there anyone here that actually "sees" anything? The answer must be no.

This morning I've had varying degrees of success shifting back into this perspective I experienced last night, although it's not as clear as the initial experience. The witness-er seems to disappear when this shift happens. Yet the world is still there and objects seem to shine forth in some self-existent way, more real and vivid than ever.

There's an awareness of a huge space permeating the field of vision and extending through me and way back behind me. Maybe I could say I am that space? I dont' know yet. It feels that way but I might be projecting things I read onto this experience. This space must have always been there but I never noticed it before.

I think this seeing may have something to do with a thought that occurred to me recently. Not really a thought - it was more of an acceptance, and acceptance of the possibility that "this is it." I've heard this repeated over and over again by different teachers; there's no place to go, nothing to do, this is it, blah blah blah. For some reason this was rejected on an unconscious level for a long time.

Then a few days ago, the thought occurred to me, "what if this is really it? What if Truth is so very very close that I never noticed it before?" There seemed to be a subtle click, a slight perspective shift when this possibility was accepted. I think it's related to the seeing experience I had last night.

teetown,

You change perspective, point of view from the thought, concept of "teetown" to "seeing" THAT.
Yes there is no place to go, nothing to do, this is it.
IT's as simple as that.

[teetown]

Thanks for the input everyone. TRF I think you're right. I will try not to get attached to the experience.

Jan 6, 2011 15:04:45 GMT -5 @michaelsees said:

Hi Teetown cool.

A quick question while the observer disappeared were you still reading the book and if you were still reading the words when this was happening could you understand what you were reading or was it as if the words were just floating pass you?
Thanks
Michael

I wasn't reading. Just looking at the whole book in my hands. What you describe sounds like a trip though! For me, reading engages the conceptual mind too much and seems to cover "that" up.

[michaelsees]

I was only asking as I had a experience.
I was reading and all perceptual vision was lost. The only thing that remained was the book and the letters it was not as if I had a face or eyes or anything only the book and I was reading as the words just floated slowly along at this point the word separation was moot everything was moving along and pages turning and the I, person of Michael was nowhere to be found. However this lasted for a while I cannot tell you how long as time was gone also. then from out of the blue fear came. It was a feeling like "I" will never get out of this and I had to really force myself to get back.

I have no idea what it meant .

Michael

[mamza]

...I'm really glad I saw this today. I've had something just like that happen before and it blew my mind, but when it went away and I tried to relate it to my friends words were exchanged that made me blow it off as something neat but unimportant. I thought of it as a distraction.

But after reading this, I can see that 'that' was somehow the result of 'this' that I'm doing -- focusing on vision. More and more of the picture comes into view until there's just this dark space and it can grow and grow until it's like looking at what Mamza sees through a telescope. Thanks for posting this!

[teetown]

More thoughtless/me-less watching today and yesterday. Veeeeddy eeenteresting.

Souley - I like Douglas Harding too. Although I didn't immediately get anything out of the headlessness exercises when I tried them, I recognize what he was talking about now.

mamza - I'm glad this resonated with you. I'm sure some of the reasons I posted this are beyond me. There are a lot of synchronicities on this path. Share more about your experience if you'd like. I'd like to hear about it.

[mamza]

For me it wasn't so much seeing through a window, although that is fairly similar. It was almost like my peripheral vision expanded dramatically until everything I saw looked like a circle shape or a tunnel, and there was nothing but a bunch of darkness outside of it. It was also accompanied by an unusual body sensation that almost felt like being sucked into something. It freaked me out, though, so I fought it and it left.

[bruppy]

I was with a girlfriend some years back, and the idea that yes she and everyone is unique, but this girl is really the same girl in different forms. Right in front of my eyes, The girl I was looking at, visually turned into my first ever girl friend. Totally freaked me out. I couldn't tell my current girlfriend. She wouldn't of ever talked to me again. This was many years ago, but dam peculiar.
I dare say there is a name for this, THERE would be, but it was so dam real. OR was it. There is definitely a mind universe connection. Go slow I say. It will go in its own pace, is felt...