poetry

[charliegee]

on that ...

it all comes round in circles
just to vanish in the air ...
no need to make it personal
no need to have a care ...

it comes without a reason
the pleasure and the pain
and if you watch it closely
it all comes round again

so let it come & let it go
as invariably it will ...
let the tide move out again
leave no holes for it to fill

be as empty as the sky
on a blue and cloudless day
watch it as rolls to you
and as it rolls away ...

you know that nothings permanent
you know that nothing lasts
only love exists and love persists
on that you can bet your ass ...

CG 9/24/10

[charliegee]

light ...

morning comes in waves
or is it in particles
in soft lilting light ...

CG 9/25/10

[charliegee]

death to those who whimper and cry ...

here in the valley
here in the downs
friends and flowers thrive
and doors open into summer

the colors, the soft shiny air
even you'd admit that it's all there
even I'd contend that to ask for more
would be madness, sheer madness ...

doesn't stop us though ...
doesn't give pause enough
to conclude that dying in this moment
gives the lie to the trivial pursuit ...

the trivial quest for meaning
outside the troubadours sing
in earnest harmonies ...
as clouds rush through the heavens ...

CG 9/25/10

[charliegee]

don't you think? ...

be who I want you to be
so I can continue to be
who it is I think I am ...
don't threaten that fragile web

for if you become something
that doesn't fit my idea of you
I won't be complete and I must
be complete or I will crumble

you are the answer to who I am
you make my existence possible
for what would I be without my idea
of you, my idea of me, of us ...

nothing, that's what I would be ...
don't reduce me to nothingness
by evolving, by moving on ...
I am stagnant, I am static

I don't change, I won't change
and neither should you ...
after all this is love ...
don't you think that this is love?

CG 9/26/10

[charliegee]

rehab anyone? ...

the search itself
becomes a problem
as it becomes a movement
away from this moment ...

this movement from the moment
projects a time when all will be well
dismissing the fact that all is well
right here and right now ...

but how can that be seen
when you're on the hunt
for big game, the biggest
there is ~ enlightenment

some will tell you, 'it's here'
or go there, 'it's there'
or do this to get that
gets confusing ...

like walking into
the largest store
for something you want
and entering the biggest, widest aisle

filled with variations
of what you want (need?)
and you shop forever
trying this, discarding that

the search itself
becomes a problem
an addiction, if you will
and you won't even notice

until you kick the habit ...

CG 9/25/10

[charliegee]

autumn ...

autumn skies changing
grey winds blow afternoon trees
quiver with delight

CG 9/26/10

[charliegee]

lifesong ...

and so, life goes on
it always does, doesn't it?
despite our sorrows
our ideas about it

or desires to escape it
sometimes it is bleak, dreary
and all you want is an end to it
and then, you are lifted

quite by surprise, always by surprise
people come and people go
they mostly leave forever
and still there beats

in your chest
a heart that sings
sad songs or happy
dirges or praises

and love...
the mastermind
behind it all
love stays constant

the sun hurts your eyes
early mornings ablaze with light
and it all seems alright
you nod, glance upward

and give thanks

that you are here ...

CG 4/28/10

[charliegee]

here ...

we all attempt to build a world
that would give our lives validity
to cement identity once for all
but, in fact, there's no solidity

it's all in transit, nothing lasts
the thoughts, ideas and feelings
watch them as they come and go
this is true in all our dealings

you are vapor, you are mist
breaking on the sands of time
the waves come in, the waves go out
and all poems do not rhyme

see this for yourself, my friend
watch everything arise
see it disappear again
like clouds through windy skies

to feel the joy, the sheer delight
the simple joy of being
unburdened by the cage of thought
in the simple act of seeing

love is here beyond it all
when all is said and done
relax into the place you are
you're here, your race is run

CG 9/27/10

[charliegee]

never true ...

I walk defenseless
no need to hide
what can hurt me
what darkness exists

there is only light
and the idea of darkness
in reality neither exist
it is just this ...

no name, no description
no cost for a better label
that only works in the stores
here, there is no thing

I stand defenseless, free
always thought there was something
that could hurt me, could bring me down
now, I realize that isn't true ...

that was never true ...

CG 9/28/10

[charliegee]

circles ...

watching raindrops fall in puddles
making circles as they splash
and I wish my life was fire
instead of char and ash

but ash can have its uses
still a place that you can rise from
to emerge somehow undaunted
and not avert your eyes from

for sorrow slashes surely
making all things equal
the life you had is gone now
there will be no sequel

arisen, now in earnest
though clouds still hide the sun
and yet, gratitude emerges
for all you've lost is won

CG 9/28/10

[charliegee]

in between

here in the in-between
where light hides
behind the flowers
that don't grow

where love shades
her eyes and polishes
the stones of past pain
holds them tight in her womb

where sight is banished
and mournful music
plays all the day with
no change, no variation

where the prison of mind
holds it's captives
in invisible prisons
the imagined cells

hold us all in solitary
confinement ...
insects gnaw
chew and spit out

our dreams, our hopes
where morning is night
and rain has drowned
extinguished the sun

here in the in-between
we sit in purgatory
trying not to watch
the clock or the door

the door that may

or may not open ...

CG 9/30/10

[charliegee]

questions? ...

at home, relaxing
just lazing about
reading, watching TV
thinking, napping

there is a vague unease
nothing pronounced
nothing to speak of really
but here I do just that

it's sort of a wish, a desire
for total peace (which is a lie)
total satisfaction (or death)
there is resistance here

a subtle reluctance to being
exactly where I am ...
physically, emotionally
mentally and psychologically

it's just a continuation
of my addictive ways
without drugs I find other
not so obvious things

to lust over, to obsess on
I'm not here (and not there)
I'm not 'that' (and still this)
someday I'll just fade into it all

when I get tired of the charade
when the novelty wears off
for god's sake, when? (when?)
when the questions die, so will I

thankfully, so will I ....

CG 9/30/10

[charliegee]

good lookin' out ...

sometimes I forget
exactly where I was
when I cried out to you
in abject fear and desperation

sometimes the concerns
of the day so consume me
I lose sight of what you've done
how you released me from my chains

sometimes I forget to say
thank you for delivering me
from a lifetime of pain and addiction
so in this moment while I am briefly

aware of you and cognizant
of the many blessings you bestow
while I'm paying attention and asking
for yours ~ I say bless you Lord ...

you are my God

and good lookin' out ...

CG 10/1/10

[charliegee]

string theory ...

the deep, dark drone
of the cello resounds
takes up residence
inside me ...

I feel it in my stomach
as it lingers, filling every
part of me until ...
it fades off ...

not abruptly ...
but a gradual
consistent, steady
falling off ...

I wish to become
that sound, to be in it
instead of the other
way round ...

to not notice it
cause what really needs
to take notice of itself ...
when it can simply be ...

CG 10/2/10

[charliegee]

suddenly it all goes clear
the light, the darkness fade
and it's all you ~ all me
us? ... neither ... just this ...

what words?

CG 10/2/10