poetry

[charliegee]

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stuck in the middle with me

far back as I remember
I was never content
with conventional wisdom
not because I had anything better

I admit that I have no answers
I don't think anyone else does either
so it's not so much that I'm
searching for the truth .. ..

more like ridding myself
of all the lies, all the answers
must say I've tried more than a few on
none of them fit well

I always wriggled out of them
alterations don't work
so many books, so many scenes
so many attempts .. ..

so much time spent
when all I had to do was be
you don't find love, love finds you
and I don't believe there are many truths

I believe life is one
I can't trade in cliches
I believe 99% of our talk
is rehashed, recycled

I do know that I love
it is all I really know
as I grow into old age
I believe life should be simple

and simpler still .. ..

charlie giardino 2/4/16

[hicksetta]

I have only ONE question left
I hesitate to ask
Too painfull to even ask
because who would know the answer anyway?

Is my husband still alive?
I think he is.
I wish he is.
It seem he isn't.
He died long time ago.

But still
it feels as if he is here with me
as if he did not die
as if he is alive and well
as if he just pretend to be dead

I know that is just me, grieving
still.

[zin]

Feb 4, 2016 17:14:50 GMT -5 charliegee said:

(...)

I believe life is one
I can't trade in cliches
I believe 99% of our talk
is rehashed, recycled

I do know that I love
it is all I really know
as I grow into old age
I believe life should be simple

and simpler still .. ..

charlie giardino 2/4/16

"I believe 99% of our talk / is rehashed, recycled":... I am more optimistic but at the same time you again reminded me of H. Inayat Khan:

"Yes, there is a beauty in words, as there is beauty in flowers. But the flowers may be called the angels of the earth. They live only in heaven; on earth they appear for a moment and fade away. The feelings are like angels. The one who lives in his feelings lives in heaven, and when he puts them into words he drops down on the earth. And however beautiful his imagination and his choice of words, he turns angels into flowers."

[charliegee]

Seventh year

think I just posted
poems for each
of the six years
you've gone missing

A poem for each
of the years, maybe two
well seeing its the seventh year
I figure I'll resume the tradition

and since each year has its own spin
its own strong feel or lack of emotion
I'll do my best to delineate
the way that I feel .. ..

reckon I'll report what's been going on
as you know, my brother rooms with me
and we haggle about everything
its all in fun but let me say
its sometimes not ..

and my room, oh my room
I have roughly the same amount
of clothes and shoes and stuff
but have no room to put them away

you were always a wizard
finding easy ways to put things away
while I have a pile system
there are many neat or not so neat piles

where the hell did you put everything?
but I digress, our children are fine
dealing with the business of life
and dealing with it pretty nicely

our grandchildren are beautiful
and all doing very well
Danni got first honors
and has a nice scholarship

Caroline is finding her way
at college and trying to ascertain
a course of life suitable for her
JoJo is trying his hand at modeling

Anthony is struggling a bit
but he's going to do well
with that great, big heart of his
yeah, he's gonna do okay

and the new one, Lila Jae
God, you'd adore her
so alert and inquisitive
with the biggest pair of eyes

me, I carry on
taking sad days and happy days
dispassionately, practicing
my mindfulness

trying to stay on a even keel
we eat every night somehow
despite our general ineptitude
in the culinary arts

and I'm trying to stay healthy
despite my forays into foods
on the forbidden list
I may need some help

so throw down some assistance if you would

the main thing in this long list
of incidentals, is we love you
we miss you and we'd be so happy
having you right back with us

I think about you every day
I've forgotten the bad times
as the love is the only thing
that interests me .. ..
the only thing I care to know

CG 2/11/16

[zin]

I remembered this story but can't remember from where.. Once, at the end of a city there was a wall, and whoever climbed onto it jumped to the other side and never came back. Citizens were curious about what was there behind it but they were worried also, about this not coming back. So they tied strong ropes to one among them, he climbed onto the wall, looked at the other side, and he wanted to go there but they pulled him back. They asked him what was there; he smiled and never talked again, just kept smiling : )

[charliegee]

now is now

I wonder why I have to wait for love
I didn't wait the first time and it exploded
in my lap, just flat out grabbed my heart
'fore I even knew it was gone ..

are things different when you're older?
are we more afraid to take the leap
'cause our hearts are on lock down?
are we that afraid of the pain?

that we run away at the very mention
of love ~~ are we that frightened?
are only the free with broken hearts
able to rise, able to risk all with fear?

and trepidation? afraid but still climbing
out of the hole prepared for us
we are the promise of love,
the light bearers in the darkness

we shine our brokenness
able to love without restraint
we don't let past hurts
endanger the love of today

now is now more than its ever
been before ~ there's never been a day
with more urgency ~ more resolve
the reason to know, the reason to go

charlie giardino 2/17/16

[charliegee]

love and loss

A lifetime holds many surprises
some rather small, garden variety
if you will, the ordinary mundane
sort that do not interrupt the flow of life

then there are the simple, pleasurable
sorts that elicit a smile and a wink
that add to the joy of an everyday existence
moments of love and enjoyment

there are. as well, in every life
the game changing surprises
usually negative and jarring
the loss of a loved one

you are never prepared
much as you know it's coming
it hits you like a ton of bricks
leaves you reeling and spent

it may take you a good while
to even approach the matter
some have such a hard time
that they never really recover

then, oh then, if you're lucky
you come upon a love
a love so great, your world is rocked
by the presence of the other

the missing piece, the miracle part
to which everything else depends
everything else revolves around
the one, bright shining moment

you bask in the warm glow
of transcendent love
glorious love that you are sure
certain that you were made for

now, its true that with so wonderful a thing
the down side is as low
as the great moments are high
but you sacrifice that gladly

then, of course, there is the loss
that is inherent in love
that peeks out from behind the wall
which has never been confronted

why would you face something
that could bring such pain
such torment, such heartache
so you cover up, you play

hide and seek. peeking out
at intervals, and here's the big surprise
it always comes as a surprise
the biggest one, to be sure

you wait for it, this love
it tears your heart in two
to think of her, the one
great love of your life

nothing can replace her
but you have so much love
it seems a shame not to try and share it
after all, its what you do

charlie giardino 2/18/16

[zin]

I sat down to make a new thing
I would call it a flower
picked a sprout from a tree
prepared leaves
in elegant shapes

I wanted many colors
took some from the sun,
from blood, from underwater
made fine mixtures
drew real pictures!

I had to invent smells from scratch though
as that would be the specialty of a flower:
to exist to smell!
so now they are everywhere
performing their unique job.

[charliegee]

before you came

before you came
I waited for you
though I didn't know
what I was waiting for

when I saw you, I knew
god, did I know
never knew anything
so strongly before
or since ...

now that you're gone
I wait again .. ..
knowing what I wait for
but not sure you'll come

charlie giardino 3/10/16

[zin]

for you two : )

[charliegee]

acrylic stories

I'm on my way
to where
I don't know
vague spirits hide

in the folds
of my sweater
they whisper loudly
'embrace the darkness'

'end this obsession
with the light'

they will go away
once I wash my sweater

though the label states
dry clean only

CG 3/12/16

[silver]

really a cute one, charlie.

[glimmer]

the monk sweeps
my mind is so troubled
the monk sweeps
my heart is so troubled
the monk sweeps
'sweep the mind' comes to mind
the monk sweeps
'sweep the heart' comes to mind
the monk sweeps
I sweep
'sweep the mind' comes to heart
the monk sweeps, I sweep
'sweep the heart' comes to heart
the monk sweeps, I sweep

[charliegee]

evening prayer

he shuffles down
to evening prayer
no longer the young monk
on fire for God

the fire hasn't gone out
it has settled and matured
silent and secret
not meant for show

that stuff is for the books
that line the shelves
and pad the pockets
of the next big things

they come and they go
he hardly reads anymore
he doesn't have to
God has written on his heart

the simplest of commands
and yet, the most difficult
'be still and know that I am God'
the bell chimes

and he ambles down
the stone corridor for tea
sandals clacking as the moon
shines through an open window

charlie gee 4/9/12

[zin]

Mar 14, 2016 2:59:06 GMT -5 glimmer said:

the monk sweeps
my mind is so troubled
mine is vague

the monk sweeps
my heart is so troubled
that's a given!

the monk sweeps
'sweep the mind' comes to mind
even the idea refreshes

the monk sweeps
'sweep the heart' comes to mind
only as a last resort!

the monk sweeps
I sweep
so something started

'sweep the mind' comes to heart
the monk sweeps, I sweep
heart is direct

'sweep the heart' comes to heart
the monk sweeps, I sweep
welcome : )

hope you don't mind, g : )