Please, looking for help with some mind bending things

[plutus]

@ silver
Yes, nice it is easy to be a flower in the wind

Now you got me interested but I am not a guy for reading books, I learn in other ways (empathy mostly) but it is nice to read, better then a lot of things that people do. Is it somewhat similar to Ramana Maharshi teachings of self realization?

@wren
Yes you can say a trip but then I would say it is not a trippy trip like you are stoned or drunk, no no, focused like a banker on its money. Ok, what did you mean with the shell and the reassuring part, sounds really important at this point for me?

[silver]

Dec 24, 2014 22:18:30 GMT -5 plutus said:

@ silver
Yes, nice it is easy to be a flower in the wind

Now you got me interested but I am not a guy for reading books, I learn in other ways (empathy mostly) but it is nice to read, better then a lot of things that people do. Is it somewhat similar to Ramana Maharshi teachings of self realization?

@wren
Yes you can say a trip but then I would say it is not a trippy trip like you are stoned or drunk, no no, focused like a banker on its money. Ok, what did you mean with the shell and the reassuring part, sounds really important at this point for me?

You can really turn a phrase when you want to.  flower in the wind.  lovely.

What can I say, plutus, but resist your resistances and read a book.  May be don't read another one for 10 years or something.
It is the Buddha's life story.  You know how when your friends take you to a new restaurant or they cook something special and they know it's good, but you resist and they say Just try it...  Just try it.

[plutus]

thank you very much, inspiration is after this experience almost nothing, something that is whit us but not used, I would say that my pineal gland is open or mostly open and that I have access to the right side of the brain and people with calcified glands DO NOT and my advice to you wherever you live de-calcify the pineal gland however you can, I do it with plants, better diet,mostly plants, small amount of meat or anything with E acids, no chocolade and stuff for me, I am done with that, it is the reason for our sickness and we even pay for it, BRUTAL!!! have to do the reverse osmosis thingy with my tap water and get rid of the tooth paste and make my own. Maybe it is time to read a book, thank you for the advice. And flower in the wind or a baby in a wound is what I picture the uotlaying structure of the YOUniverse cause it is alive and it is only a matter of scale, nothing else. As above, so below... One time when my book is over I will give you mine to read, maybe you will like it

and to clarify something, when I say I cried you need to know that I am grown up men and it is not like you were crying cause somebody close died or something like that, no, it has so much depth to it...you know? it is the realization of anything itself, sometimes it is in laughter and sometimes slower tears of happiness. Not a negative feeling in any way. But there is no other possibilty, when I realize something (I am talking about me personally, not any teachings, only what I feel is real) it is either laughter or tears, when it is deep and not something supraficial, if it is not the out loud laughter they may be some smaller face gesture, like  I knew it moment I call it...I suspected that for a long time but could not rap myself around it, it is so abstract that just by thinking about it makes me dizzy and I mean it. How do I get over this hump? So for some reason life brought to my attention something that our elderly always asked us and I believe that is the case in many countries and the question was: What came first, the chicken or the egg? So, if you were the kid what would you tell him? Hmmm...why is this important anyways?why I am thinking about me as a kid?After some days I did not know and it bothered me like my focus was on that and not what I would do at that moment.My processor is not dual core I thought and I knew  I had to meditate to make some sense and I did. And btw I hate the word I and would like rather we all be called 1 if possible or  by name, I ego is tricky, at least for me.... So, I drink my tea and go to bed to meditate, thats it, lets see and I have my routine thingies like breathe, relax, chakras, energy, realization of the question presented deeply in the roots (words are a not a good way to describe that but...), fear must be aknowledged and disregarded as not a part of your reality but like a opposite side of polarity, or woman men, left right, good bad, light dark, life death and so on...like you are there and that is ok, I have no quarell with you thingy, just like that (in most cases I might add, there are exceptions and this is 1 of the reasons I do not understand at the moment). So all that preparation and more, time is not important here. And what I felt and actually first saw was the triangle, the 3rd eye or the pineal gland ( working in harmony with other 2 glands in the brain,like in a way was telling me holy trinity) , what does the triangle and the glands have in common?And soon the triangle was not connected with each sides and it was 3 lines and then it literally hit me 3 is in common and at the moment I was concentrated on that but something what I would say more powerful took over, all it can reside in me was the holy trinity and dont get me wrong I dont judge any religion but I do not embrace any, I believe in my thingies. So, it was not from the religion stand point but as a nature of reality, totally different. So, all I can "think" was about that and what would that mean for all my/our concepts. I have to admit that sometimes I have problems getting rid of my ego, it does not quit easily and realisticly he knows you but when I do I can not almost believe what I felt... So, this time I got him and was not even aware of at the time but now reflecting, got you that time baby, in your face ...The triangle and the glands back, what I saw is profound and I only want to share, anybody can say I am wrong or crazy, it is their right but I am still doing my stuff as I felt it and can not lie to myself nor do I want to, like the song say keep it real...I felt that every side of the triangle is VERY living but that they can co-exist only together in a manner (it has more but cant write it good enough), imagine only that the side that is touching both others actually is "grounding" and without it there is no triangle, like it has an edge to it, something that I felt like over existence, bigger scale perhaps you can say, perhaps...for me out of some reason I call IT The Supreme God, just a feeling I felt, the two other sides are the definition of the duality, life through death, destruction for a new begginning type thing, for some reasons I had to research a few days after and I do not why I just personified them with Shakti and Shiva and I really dont know anything about that, it just makes sence. At the moment of meditation I did not personified them like that so to me they were concepts, like it does not have a face or name thingy...At one time death came through my mind and I was like ouch what is this but like the wind would blow and the thought would be glinding in the wind, like a leaf going with the stream and it became funny, the death came and went just as easily, even more easier so that means only 1 thing, we were all 1. Now looking at it I would say that I can not describe the scientific thing that makes us all 1, like a proof of that, it is a feeling not a science and what the pineal gland feels medula is translating so that the abstract language can even be felt, the primordial language of everything, what is funny about it I really do not need proof, after you felt something, why would you kneed to? To go further I was "thinking" about The Supreme God, it is the company I want to walk with forever, like I am a part of you, almost nothing at one end and with so much potential at other. Like to walk in his presence is my reality. I went further and wondered how is his name, how  should I call you? What I saw is a shape, not a name but a shape that can be translated but not as accurate, like something is lost in the translation but the name is this (and please dont judge,I am without religion, I am just sharing) - MUHAMMAD HAMANN SHADIR(or E the last and its SHADIE or SHADIR but mostly SHADIR). I could not remember the first name for a couple of days and the full name was not fixed but not as what it is but relative to my "angle of looking", so to me it changed but I "knew". I also remember that the Supreme has many "safety switches", like back ups if thing go "wrong" and without him there is no nothing and I mean no space at all and not like empty space, empty space is almost perfect stability of the system,actually it is but sometimes material interfiers and then it can not be as stable as without it, WOW I was so proud, like I was a scientist all of a sudden but then I thought if I know this then a lot of people do also, why dont we think like that?people thousands of years ago knew this, every shaman, priest or enlightened knew it, I am sure, they were more in tune with nature and did not need to detox cause we eat GMO and who knows what, they were more healthy and lived much longer life spans if not for the terminals,of course...That was very important to me cause for some reason I knew I lived in todays Peru at some point and that is how I feel.
After a while the attention went back to the other 2 sides of the triangle and thought about it but could not rap myself around it, we have life and destruction(death) but is that destruction actually ego? cause if it is he is a definition  of a trickster, there is a real mistery of some sort here , I feel it. To this day I do not understand this but I will eventually, when I will be ready. But I remember thinking that somebody rebelled against GOD and I was like really, why would you do that, to go against yourself? I remember saying outloud funny, very odd but the feeling is so, some side has rebelled (the destruction "side" and the goal is to acquire 2/3 of the triangle, to have some sort of control or to try, I dont really know but it is selfish to say the least, when you divide 2 with 3 you get that number which is interesting very much, there are crossovers like over the world and so many things just clicked) and this all is a part of it, the grand scheme of things and all those schemes were rewealed 1 after another and 1 can actually look at these things that is happening every day but they are "acceptable" or we just dont care or dont know or whateva. It was late and I was almost sleeping and I remember once again how ancient people had so much more understanding and knowledge, that were living from the land which they honored and helped to grow so that they do not destroy but take only what is neccessary for life
All this started with a chicken - egg question which I would not let go and this is very interesting, there is no one without the other in a duality system, no divine seed or what I call over existence but if you are aware of the divine seed ( and I mean c mon babies are born every day) and over existence it is clear that a starting point of over existence is a birth of a new "system", living system. Smaller in scale related, and a system in a system in a system and so on forever making new options for life to fluorish in as many ways possible, like IT decides what is the potential, like so to speak it can crank it up if needed be, re balance the primordial energy so to speak. And the centar of everything, every system to the smolest and the biggest is a black hole as a conection to the over existence, or something that we perceive as such. Is the divine seed/energy/consciousness  the same "thing"? And I am like WOW our hole YOUniverse is that egg, we are trying to proove something instead of feel it yourself so we made concepts, "invent" things like speech, money, right, wrong and so on to manipulation, I dont get frustrate easily but this gets me always. My egg gave me the answers I want to knew what I thought at the time but actually to know is to feel it yourself, that is why many people must learn from their mistakes, and they tell you: I know but I will do this or that...they feel that although somebody says something it does not mean it must affect you, I know I can to me sounds like I feel I can.
So after all of this to say I cried when relized something would mean all this and more, how can a tear be heavy and miningful like the whole YOUniverse if it is not a part of it, it can be only 1 grand system of life but the small and the big only differ to time relation cause bigger things effect time more cause of the "gravity"(another concept) so really time for us and lets says stars goes on a differ-ent watch, when you see the bigger "objects" then stars I would say that actually time is non existant or close to over some scale as a reference of some sort so time for me is a relative concept, it means our survival in a way but on bigger scales is it almost non existant, that way the science cant get it, cause they have to mix the big with small and they can do something but really far off but there are also people who get it and work on some huge projects but I always question the motives cause of the obvious reasons. I would say that time only exists/does not) proportional to whole energy output of the universe - material so if for instance a mass of material is 1% then time does not exist in approx 99% times out of 100 on a total scale. Sure , effects smaller more but we are talking here on a huge scale and we should measure it precise, like the Maya did, not like this. 2012 went and people are alive, what is that? The Maya did not talk about end of days but a shift every 25 920 years or so, had many wheels, big and small, so you see they adapted the difference between the big and the small with only wheels and what that means for them, genius genius, I bow to you Sir. A couple of wheels and a understanding means more then everything we have today and we are so "modern"(another concept), so smart and cocky we think we know everything but it that moment it really hits you does really anybody know what is going on really? And I am mean all the way up. To be aware of the part of it is what we are here, to wickness life for it self, like a confirmation of life and a whole universe watching through every "atom" in your body and the senses tell everything, dont they? The realization that life is more sacred then I even could imagine is so special, to finally be aware/feel that this is not all there is and to feel it in a way gives comfort, big comfort.

If anybody read it to the end I admire your patience and thank you.

[Ishtahota]

As you grow you will learn to make it all more simple, so that even a child can understand it all. You got a lot of the keys to knowledge.

The ego; we cannot live in the body without the ego, but it is not us. It wants to be in control and it can be trained. Who serves who, do I serve my ego or does it serve me. Dark days of the soul is when the ego uses all of its tools to try and keep control of our lives. Its tools are fear, panic, and anxiety. The autonomic functions of the body belong to the ego, heartbeat, breath while sleeping, hormonal secretions, reactions to the world without thought. The martial artist trains the ego to serve them. It is the animal part of us while we do the Earth walk. It can also appear to us during dark night of the soul, when it makes a final bid for power.

The three; Many symbols of three lead to the same realization. Left and right brain, higher-self. Conscious mind, sub-conscious mind, higher consciousness. Male and female, androgynous being. Awake mind, dream mind, super awake. Most of who we really are cannot at this time be contained in the physical body, but that does not mean that we cannot have access to it. That is why I take part in ceremony. It is the language of the sub-conscious and it gives us access to the knowledge that is in us all, is part of us all.

Laughing and crying; some call it finding your joy and bliss. When you finally realize your vision and purpose for life you get to experience your joy and bliss.

Many of us get to have the experience that you have had early in our lives. It is like the spirits give us a taste to let us know the potential that our life contains if we will continue on and do the work that is necessary to become.

Plutus; Do not stop. All that you wish to know or become is already inside of you and you know this.

[Deleted]

Dec 24, 2014 18:22:05 GMT -5 plutus said:

Hello good people

I am Plutus from Croatia and I have experienced yesterday something that I can not explain, not only explain,I am in shock and in a strange way lucky to be alive but not so direct. For a couple of years I have been meditating and over time I found out that the meditation is the state what I call The eye of the storm, you know peaceful inside (static) and extremely dinamic outside. To tell you - I am not a beginner but I am no master by far but I will tell you that I experienced Akashaic records more then once, once of twice I experienced what I call Ramana Maharshi (saint) state, so beautiful, peaceful, all the answers present themself on platter, instantly, no doubt, no questions, no need for proof, IT IS WHAT IT IS and we all are a part of 1 whatever you want to call it, if I have to use words perhaps SOURCE would be the closest to explain. So I have solid experience in spirituality or I thought so at least. I often use plants to help me detox my body as todays food, water and almost all is toxic, plants like blue lotus, calea zacatechichi, guayusa and many others are my guide to this realm and really helped me a ton to get my pineal gland in better shape and from that point the whole body which is I think a never ending process in this situation we live in. Now I am coming to my question, the answer is illuding me for some reason and I can not meditate at all, like I am someone who never meditated and cant get still, like a beginner or a restless child. I am like that cause the energy surging in me is almost to much for this body to bear. I will try to explain everything as best as I can, I do not lie nor I have a reason to, all I need is a little help please.

23.12.2014. In the evening I made my tea, a little stronger but not much. Only stuff like calea zacatechichi from Ecuador and nothing in bags or bought in the local store or supermarket. I went on youtube to watch some stuff while I enjoy my tea and found some beautiful healing music, it said 432 Hz DNA healing, chakra cleansing meditation and I enjoyed it very much and it is over 4 hours long, beautiful. SO, you know I am "awake", doing stuff normally, the music is almost being attracted to every pore of my being, sometimes a tinggle situation (sorry for my grammar, I do not bother myself too much with it) and I am thinking to myself WOW if this is "awake" what will happen when I lay down and concentrate. So, after a while I did lay down and not a second after that, instantly things began. Normally, I need a few seconds/minutes to prepare and silence the mind, visualize... BUT now there is no need for that and I am again WOW, it started in the belly and when I say it I mean this - energy surge that is doing something for a longer period of time, it does not go away but it is in a way connected to that music, when I put my hands on it, it gets drastically stronger, like the healer would place his hands on someone. The energy is so strong that my body trembles like I am so cold but I am not cold, it is like it almost hurts but actually it is like is tingling my soul, can not explain it better. I had to laugh, I just had to. The thing here is that it gets stronger and stronger and I realized that maybe it is better that I remove my hands cause it is on the horizon of being unpleasent and I did and tried to concentrate for some astral projection or similar state. Then the brain did something, maybe not even brain, perhaps the pineal gland or I dont know, it did something that made every hair on my head stand up and it is was like someone is massaging all in the skull all the time. The load was so heavy, so heavy but the state is and was special, I could feel that with my all. After that my heart started to race like thats it for you and instantly I understood that the EGO was testing me with thoughts of death and other things linking me to here like people, love, you know things that make your physical life. Sometimes he gets me, sometimes I get him but this time for some reason I thought to myself: you really are scared and I offered a prayer to my EGO telling him that there is another way we can co-exist, that I do not need to discard him to move further, that we can do it together as you are a part of me and vice versa...All the time the energy is brutal, makes me tremble but it moved to the heart when the music changed a bit and the test of ego came...so , I am offering my prayer and in one moment the energy stopped and concentrated in 1 point so it was like a big marble in my upper belly, little more to the right side and it accumulated energy for a couple of seconds, I had to laugh, it was touching my soul in a way but then it started moving to the heart. I can not explain, like I was dead and reborn every second, like the heart expanded to a bigger area taking my whole solar plexus (what does that mean anyway???why solar???), then the solar plexus became what I would describe as empty, like a black hole to be honest. YOu know that feeling - it is not pain but something that you did not felt ever, a presence but in such a huge concetration that is almost causing fear, very close to it, like it is triggering my defense mechanism of some sort. I could not sleep for hours (finally I did about 12 am!!!). When I woke up I feel that "balck hole" in the plexus, it is a presence which I would compare with the presence you feel or the afterglow of opening the 3rd eye,the feeling of walking with GOD (exactly those words, walking with), almost the same but so much stronger, bigger, almost like a point of origin in some way, the feeling is hard to explain with empty words. My whole body now is concentrated in the heart, like a centar of gravity in a way.It is all I feel today, I am in shock and do not know how to proceed with this, what does it mean? I humbly ask anyone here experienced that knows what I am talking about to help me with their experience or tips, anything. I am in good health, a younger guy so it is nothing sickness related. I eat a lot of veggies, meat in very very small amounts, ride bicycles and drink tea every day only from "old school plants" like calea zacatechichi, blue lotus, catmint, dittany, passionflower, wild dagga, guayusa and many others as I believe that they are much closer to GOD then we are living like this so they help me in that way. I am telling you this to say I am healthy, young and still do not understand this so if anybody, I mean anybody understands what I am going through please tell me, I ask as a men in need of help and a little guidance, I am almost nobody and nothing but I need somebody to please help me. I am sure that I can help you back, thank you and please write me, it is so important.

Hello Plutus, much love. I AM source, and have never experienced what you are experiencing.  I can only offer you this bit of guidance.  Expand your desire in finding out what your experience means, to include the grander desire for the truth of that which knows your experience.

[plutus]

@ Ishtahota, about the ego, so far I had thought that I am doing pretty well dealing with it but now it is like it went to another level, after some days past I would say that I felt very scared, not in a classic sense but still it is. The experience that I felt was something that was a first time (fear of unknown) and a fear of death, those two are 2 base root fears of every fear so when they add up ufff it showed how much I have to learn and that is normal but I do think that all of this is to show me something, cause it is my first and something new and I wasnt as strong as I should have been, perhaps I can also say experienced. But hey, you know, when was the last time the marble entered your heart and "created black hole heart"(I am not sure I can even comprehend that at the moment)? And I literally mean it. It is difficult to even explain, almost like the MUSIC was shaping me in a way and I am a big believer that the sound has u huge role in EVERYTHING. I would not be surprised if this was a test! Maybe this was my dark days as you say cause that was what I felt, lost in a way. Ego mostly tests me with higher heart beat, right before my spirit leaves it stops the "transaction" and tests me and it begins to be very very hard to concentrate and a lot of times I loose my focus. You think we can not find a way that ego co-exists normally, like maybe we do not need to control it or is it a MUST? Do you think that sleep cycles are a part of ego? About martial arts, I agree here cause some hand symbols, moves with a conscoius breathing, even thoughts how to do it are begginning to be a part of my life for some reason, it is like it is telling me - meditation is about quietting the mind (static) and some martial arts in a spiritual way are the dinamic meditation, something like Lohan Chi Kung and Tai Chi Chuan. Sometimes I feel like a certain move, especially with hands is a must do, I just have to do what the body tells me (during the meditation), like that does something and at that moment I am not looking for an answer and it is directly in relation to SACRED GEOMETRY. I just do it and like it balances the energy or re-distribute it in a way; I never looked here for some answers, I do not know why, I just do it without question or even think about it.
What do you mean ceremony, can you explain a bit? I agree, all the knowledge is in us and we need to tap in only, a few times I experienced the Akashaic records (or whateva you call it) and I am very proud of that cause like a part is always with me but the link is not strong as it is when meditating and really focusing but my DSL is not that fast all the time but fast enough
To laugh and to cry: I tried to explain it someway and all I feel is that when I feel the truth something tinggles my soul and then the reaction comes. But the definition of the truth had to be re-explained for me cause I feel that the truth is very very subjective so I had to define what is the universal truth and for me the universal truth is AS IT IS, you can also say TRUE REALITY but as it is for me sounds what the word truth really means. Finding a bliss and joy then almost became a daily "thing", when not so much concentrated the hair on the head goes up, I enjoy especially when the RIGHT SIDE OF THE BRAIN does that, then I know I am doing well and that the pineal gland is doing its stuff... Also for some reasons the constant feeling is that we are as people moving away from source and that at least I have to move closer and to do that is to eat and drink better and I mean better like more natural and to eat less and to re-evaluate how I spend my energy cause eating "more" is spending energy also and then more toxins come in the game and so on, so the ratio food/spending energy is really important for me and the balance found will shape a lot of my experience. A lot of plants have so much thingies that we need and some of them are really powerful like seratonin, melatonin...there is so much of that, so many compounds that we need but like need to be who we are and not what we became with all of this artificial stuff poluting our bodies and mother Gaia, moving us from the source. Think about it when eating your next chocolade or coca cola...we pay for poison and we know it but that is normal, when has that become normal?
I will never stop, this is one test and although very hard and unpleasent at times it is like I need it in a way but dont know why. The most puzzling part is that MARBLE, ufff, the marble is like one of the biggest puzzles right now in my whole universe. For some reason I think that a healer could explain it to me or at least an "old soul" with extra experience so if there is here any healers please share. I know what I feel but as a first time something I have so many questions cause it is a powerful thing, never felt anything like it, perhaps I did some big mistake(s) and made the whole experience more complicated or maybe I am only doubting myself as the ego is testing me.

@source how does 1 expand the desire? Perhaps I use it by some other label so lets clarify please.

Thank you for your posts, it really helped me cool down over a few days span and to regain the control of my life in a way cause I was lost a bit and I am not affraid to admit it. I also think that my sleep cycles were changed cause I had a lot of work and that manifested as a part of the problem also I would say. So many things when 1 wants to go further, every 1 a universe in a universe in a universe creating beautiful patterns. Thank you all

[Deleted]

Dec 27, 2014 16:23:23 GMT -5 plutus said:

I will never stop, this is one test and although very hard and unpleasent at times it is like I need it in a way but dont know why. The most puzzling part is that MARBLE, ufff, the marble is like one of the biggest puzzles right now in my whole universe.

Could you explain your relationship with Marble further please? Do you live near a Marble quarry?

[Deleted]

Dec 27, 2014 16:23:23 GMT -5 plutus said:

@source how does 1 expand the desire? Perhaps I use it by some other label so lets clarify please.

Hello Plutus, much love. How 1 expands desire is by replacing a particular desire with a higher desire. Such as replacing the desire to get rid of the ego with the desire for the source of Truth. Or if not truth, perhaps the source of love, or the desire for the source of beauty.

[plutus]

@ wren Well hard to explain cause I never felt it before. Now reflecting on it I think that cause I started detox from all the poisoned food and water ingested over years I did not eliminate something that is still "bad" and that caused an "internal war", like when on medicine dont use this or dont use that type of thingy. And then I meditated not being aware of this internal war and the music said DNA healing and honestly how can that shape someone I do not know but I sure felt it. About Marble quarry I do not know, not that I am aware cause I live in a city. Hove do you think it is connected? When I say marble maybe I did not explain well, like a little ball appeared in right side of the belly (firstly it was a energy surge all over the belly) and after a while went to my heart as it was guided there somehow. So, imagine, meditation then surge witch forms a marble and then goes to the heart directly creating "emptiness" which I can only describe as a black hole heart. I wish I could find something in some teachings about that, that would sure make it a lot easier. My guess would be that it was a combination of things happenning at the same time. Detox, meditation, "internal war" and ego cause I was focusing on it. Like I tried something and was partly awarded and partly punished, like it has a price. Does a ego have its own chakra? Is the ego what we call the trickster cause it is very tricky? That would really mean that there is a constant internal and surely then and external war going on. The whole duality thing is that, creating through destruction but for me there is more and that is why that ego is such a mystery, like there is something really important here, a part of the puzzle, just cant wrap myself around it at the moment. I am not ready for some things and that is ok, no, I am not aware of some things is better said... Like in the post above we said that there is so much knowledge in any of us if we know ourself and at times for me it can overwhelm me completly and I still have to learn so much. Lets say we learn a lot, how can 1 stay sane with all that knowledge? In todays documentaries science says that ancient shaman were at least a little schizofrenic so perhaps you have to be a little loco or to seem like that to be able to live with that, to merge the realms so to speak and to stay sane.

@ source Oh I get it, I will try that in the future, thanx. I do use it in a another form, I call it priorities. But what you say for me it sounds like I can almost go around ego looking for "truth" from another angle. Surely a good idea. Angles are always such a nice topic. Sometimes when looking on a flame in the dark with the angles and I mean angle of looking at the observed thing and the angle of eyes opened/closed in the same moment we can actually see all the forces that the flame produces or/and the things that produce the focus aka the flame, they say that eyes are playing tricks on you lol. I had to post here for a reason and every tip you guys give me is another idea, precious. Like what you wrote source, a couple of times I did get rid of ego but it was without even focusing on it, like a different question is presented aka different angle and it was never a problem, like it does not exist and the times when I focus on it I "loose" mostly so that is a precious pinpoint input for me, I like those pinpoint thingies no BS, straight to the point...

[Deleted]

Dec 27, 2014 20:28:22 GMT -5 plutus said:

@ wren Well hard to explain cause I never felt it before. Now reflecting on it I think that cause I started detox from all the poisoned food and water ingested over years I did not eliminate something that is still "bad" and that caused an "internal war", like when on medicine dont use this or dont use that type of thingy. And then I meditated not being aware of this internal war and the music said DNA healing and honestly how can that shape someone I do not know but I sure felt it. About Marble quarry I do not know, not that I am aware cause I live in a city. Hove do you think it is connected? When I say marble maybe I did not explain well, like a little ball appeared in right side of the belly (firstly it was a energy surge all over the belly) and after a while went to my heart as it was guided there somehow. So, imagine, meditation then surge witch forms a marble and then goes to the heart directly creating "emptiness" which I can only describe as a black hole heart. I wish I could find something in some teachings about that, that would sure make it a lot easier. My guess would be that it was a combination of things happenning at the same time. Detox, meditation, "internal war" and ego cause I was focusing on it. Like I tried something and was partly awarded and partly punished, like it has a price. Does a ego have its own chakra? Is the ego what we call the trickster cause it is very tricky? That would really mean that there is a constant internal and surely then and external war going on. The whole duality thing is that, creating through destruction but for me there is more and that is why that ego is such a mystery, like there is something really important here, a part of the puzzle, just cant wrap myself around it at the moment. I am not ready for some things and that is ok, no, I am not aware of some things is better said... Like in the post above we said that there is so much knowledge in any of us if we know ourself and at times for me it can overwhelm me completly and I still have to learn so much. Lets say we learn a lot, how can 1 stay sane with all that knowledge? In todays documentaries science says that ancient shaman were at least a little schizofrenic so perhaps you have to be a little loco or to seem like that to be able to live with that, to merge the realms so to speak and to stay sane.

Ok. Thanx. So I know what it is not now.

It may have been a calcification.. a hardened deposit of calcium salts.. that through the transparency of your meditations was consciously located. I can agree that the change to your metabolism, that you are actively living is a move of purification. Though do not make any food your enemy, this will tie you in knots.

Eat what your body tells you it wants, drink when your thirsty and especially if your head starts to hurt. And sleep when you're tired. Even if you've only been up an hour.

[Ishtahota]

Dec 27, 2014 16:23:23 GMT -5 plutus said:

@ Ishtahota, about the ego, so far I had thought that I am doing pretty well dealing with it but now it is like it went to another level, after some days past I would say that I felt very scared, not in a classic sense but still it is. The experience that I felt was something that was a first time (fear of unknown) and a fear of death, those two are 2 base root fears of every fear so when they add up ufff it showed how much I have to learn and that is normal but I do think that all of this is to show me something, cause it is my first and something new and I wasnt as strong as I should have been, perhaps I can also say experienced. But hey, you know, when was the last time the marble entered your heart and "created black hole heart"(I am not sure I can even comprehend that at the moment)? And I literally mean it. It is difficult to even explain, almost like the MUSIC was shaping me in a way and I am a big believer that the sound has u huge role in EVERYTHING. I would not be surprised if this was a test! Maybe this was my dark days as you say cause that was what I felt, lost in a way. Ego mostly tests me with higher heart beat, right before my spirit leaves it stops the "transaction" and tests me and it begins to be very very hard to concentrate and a lot of times I loose my focus. You think we can not find a way that ego co-exists normally, like maybe we do not need to control it or is it a MUST? Do you think that sleep cycles are a part of ego? About martial arts, I agree here cause some hand symbols, moves with a conscoius breathing, even thoughts how to do it are begginning to be a part of my life for some reason, it is like it is telling me - meditation is about quietting the mind (static) and some martial arts in a spiritual way are the dinamic meditation, something like Lohan Chi Kung and Tai Chi Chuan. Sometimes I feel like a certain move, especially with hands is a must do, I just have to do what the body tells me (during the meditation), like that does something and at that moment I am not looking for an answer and it is directly in relation to SACRED GEOMETRY. I just do it and like it balances the energy or re-distribute it in a way; I never looked here for some answers, I do not know why, I just do it without question or even think about it.
What do you mean ceremony, can you explain a bit? I agree, all the knowledge is in us and we need to tap in only, a few times I experienced the Akashaic records (or whateva you call it) and I am very proud of that cause like a part is always with me but the link is not strong as it is when meditating and really focusing but my DSL is not that fast all the time but fast enough
To laugh and to cry: I tried to explain it someway and all I feel is that when I feel the truth something tinggles my soul and then the reaction comes. But the definition of the truth had to be re-explained for me cause I feel that the truth is very very subjective so I had to define what is the universal truth and for me the universal truth is AS IT IS, you can also say TRUE REALITY but as it is for me sounds what the word truth really means. Finding a bliss and joy then almost became a daily "thing", when not so much concentrated the hair on the head goes up, I enjoy especially when the RIGHT SIDE OF THE BRAIN does that, then I know I am doing well and that the pineal gland is doing its stuff... Also for some reasons the constant feeling is that we are as people moving away from source and that at least I have to move closer and to do that is to eat and drink better and I mean better like more natural and to eat less and to re-evaluate how I spend my energy cause eating "more" is spending energy also and then more toxins come in the game and so on, so the ratio food/spending energy is really important for me and the balance found will shape a lot of my experience. A lot of plants have so much thingies that we need and some of them are really powerful like seratonin, melatonin...there is so much of that, so many compounds that we need but like need to be who we are and not what we became with all of this artificial stuff poluting our bodies and mother Gaia, moving us from the source. Think about it when eating your next chocolade or coca cola...we pay for poison and we know it but that is normal, when has that become normal?
I will never stop, this is one test and although very hard and unpleasent at times it is like I need it in a way but dont know why. The most puzzling part is that MARBLE, ufff, the marble is like one of the biggest puzzles right now in my whole universe. For some reason I think that a healer could explain it to me or at least an "old soul" with extra experience so if there is here any healers please share. I know what I feel but as a first time something I have so many questions cause it is a powerful thing, never felt anything like it, perhaps I did some big mistake(s) and made the whole experience more complicated or maybe I am only doubting myself as the ego is testing me.

@source how does 1 expand the desire? Perhaps I use it by some other label so lets clarify please.

Thank you for your posts, it really helped me cool down over a few days span and to regain the control of my life in a way cause I was lost a bit and I am not affraid to admit it. I also think that my sleep cycles were changed cause I had a lot of work and that manifested as a part of the problem also I would say. So many things when 1 wants to go further, every 1 a universe in a universe in a universe creating beautiful patterns. Thank you all

     Ceremony as in Sweat Lodge, or vision Quest, or even Sundance. Ceremony is the language of the sub-conscious. It is how we get our sub-conscious and/or higher-self to send us information and higher knowledge. These are just the ones that I use. 

[plutus]

I agree, it could have been calci, it would make sense... like the pineal gland stuff but there i would say desolves, here it was far more concentrated, bigger, stronger. And guided, and I mean like inteligently with a clear pattern of moving, straight to the heart, shortest route possible. Can kidneys be sort of calcified? Is not the heart always personified with purification, you know the purity of the heart and stuff? Because if both is yes then the kidney had a "problem", energy of the meditation and music concentrated it and "purged it to heart" where it was clensed and that is where I have my black hole heart, it can be that for the first time I experienced that and "freaked out" a bit... cause for at least 2 days I felt that black hole heart. And I mean it does not hurt, you just need to not freak out but chill rather is a presence of some sort, similar to 3rd eye presence but bigger, more intense.Maybe the purification has a price of its own.
Nice point you say about food, it is not my enemy but at the same time I need to be aware how much energy I need on a particular day so I do not eat to much, rather I changed the diet into a few fractions. "smoothie", normal food 2 a day, tea in evening. Smoothie is a real nuclear weapon and I mean it, depends on what I have (working in a vegetable store) this is it: celery or parsley leaf, not to much. 2-3 dcl of water, citrus, orange, grapefruit, whateva I have, first the juice the I peale it and throw it in, that is a nice touch to the flavour also, ginger not to much but has to go, chaga mushroom powder 1-2 gr, a teaspoon hemp oil (legal BTW) to not give the cancer even a chance. If I have something similar like green veggies I throw it in, mix it all and men, if you need to eat after that I do not know, that is rocket fuel
For me mushrooms (and leafs) are sacred, the healing they provide is astonishing. Like the chaga, I mean that is all in one product number 1 in the world so many healthy thingies doing their stuff every second, a universe in ourself a while ago thinking on something I went surfing a bit and somehow the probiotics came to the picture and I was like what is that and automaticly thought antibiotics, we all know that. But the probiotics are some little thingies and there is more of them compared to our cells, wow, more probiotics then cells, really? What do they do, they get rid of the diseases and even cancer to a point, like they feed on them keeping the balance of the system, preserving the cells, maybe even regenerate it, who knows...and then why would anybody use antibiotics? Cause we act when it is late. The real trick is never to go to the doctor and if needs be heal yourself. Chaga comes in nicely to the picture here. We all know about hemp oil and cancer so that is obvious, nice energy to it. And juice, fruit and veggies have their good stuff and I do not need to buy nothing like juice or soda in the shop with all that E acid stuff and who knows what, no need at all, we rather boil fruit in water, add citrus and honey, lasts 1-2 days for a family. 2 daily normal food, like home cooked, nothing out, I am sick of sweet and salty so not a single product must not remain, very very little meat, a lot of veggies. Couple of times a day some fruit like clementine which are my favorite, the smell of a Goddess So, I eat enough but more concentrated on avoiding some stuff thus making a new menu completly. Since the meat is not so present in the evening I make a tea, about 7 dcl water with a mix of following herbs (and to me they are holy literally, and there is many more):
Calea zacatechichi - so cold dream herb, for inducing lucid and vivid dreams, origin Mexico.
Guayusa - helps in inducing vivid dreams and has a ability when drank in the evening and in the morning as soon as you wake up to remember the dream you dream that night. Even if not aware at the moment. Origin Ecuador.
Catmint, not much, it relaxes and my cat love it so I have to love it but hid it
Blue lotus is so relaxing, helps also with blood downstairs, aphrodisiac.
Dittany of Crete is a herb of Aphrodite for beauty of the skin and inner health, I just love those stories makes you feel even better :)anti ageing,longer life span, also itself is very pretty...origin Greece
Passionflower for a nice mix and lowers blood pressure, for me not needed much but it has its weight...origin Greece
You can add something more if you want but this is for me, about 2 gr a day is almost funny, I mean what you get for it and to complement the smoothie and the food all over the day, not eating much but to concentrate that less is more in my case. I am telling you all this cause when I started I would have wished for only if somebody said all that to me, more and more people are waking up that there is some nasty things going on and some action is needed to counter it, to regain our health and to be more in tune with nature.
For me a liquid is a little more important then food and if you drink it enough your head will never hurt, especially when the pineal gland is de-calcified. that is the tricky part there, to be aware of it first and act on it. Cause I believe that at that moment maybe for the first time ever our glands work in balance and the potential is huge, like the holy trinity in our head, water as a medium which vibrates inside the pineal gland feeling the abstract, producing all sorts of coded messages and regulates the body in so many ways, I need to look more at other 2 glands, so special in my book...

Ok, I understand now about ceremony. Thank you. It is so nice to see that ancient people all over the world had their ceremonies. Where did all that go over time?

[asorenth]

People today contact our lives and can leave an enormous impact on us. Within the position when somebody leaves your life for whatsoever motive, you happen to be still left with an unfilled space that never ever completely goes absent.