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Post by silver on Oct 3, 2012 2:04:11 GMT -5
Uh-oh. I forgot stage 3.5: 3.5: the one who doesn't care loses karma points You have an annoying habit of not answerin people's questions. Oops. I shouldn't say that word. I think I'm getting your drift.
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Post by Reefs on Oct 3, 2012 2:07:13 GMT -5
Lets leave it there, Silver. It gets way out of proportion. We can come back to this in a few days or weeks if you wish.
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Post by enigma on Oct 3, 2012 2:15:48 GMT -5
Thank you glimmer and thank you Top. Phew, I needed a vote or two of confidence! I'm far more bummed out by Reefs' and E's responses than by my own grief for my son. Truly, I am. If I'm not mistaken - and I don't think I am, I think you are most definitely onto something, Top - my own son had a sharp aversion to me whenever I would cry about something. I do believe some people have a rather outsized reaction to grief or other emotions along those lines, for reasons they may not even have a clue about. I haven't said anything about the grief issue, except to offer my sympathies. I merely suggested that it was you who had dropped the ball in the conversation instead of Reefs. Now you're bummed out about that? I guess it doesn't take much to bum you out.
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Post by silver on Oct 3, 2012 2:22:55 GMT -5
Thank you glimmer and thank you Top. Phew, I needed a vote or two of confidence! I'm far more bummed out by Reefs' and E's responses than by my own grief for my son. Truly, I am. If I'm not mistaken - and I don't think I am, I think you are most definitely onto something, Top - my own son had a sharp aversion to me whenever I would cry about something. I do believe some people have a rather outsized reaction to grief or other emotions along those lines, for reasons they may not even have a clue about. I haven't said anything about the grief issue, except to offer my sympathies. I merely suggested that it was you who had dropped the ball in the conversation instead of Reefs. Now you're bummed out about that? I guess it doesn't take much to bum you out. I realize there was maybe 1 post of yours that I went hmmmm over, but I'm not about to go searching for it tonight. What? Are you n Reefs a tag team now? I was under the impression from his latest that he was standing on his own. Everything was cool. And I'm not bummed out - only a little annoyed since your latest. Sheesh. Karma, I guess. A person can be a smart-ass or they can wear the lovely ass-hat, whichever they deem more fashionable. ;D
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Post by enigma on Oct 3, 2012 2:32:51 GMT -5
I haven't said anything about the grief issue, except to offer my sympathies. I merely suggested that it was you who had dropped the ball in the conversation instead of Reefs. Now you're bummed out about that? I guess it doesn't take much to bum you out. I realize there was maybe 1 post of yours that I went hmmmm over, but I'm not about to go searching for it tonight. What? Are you n Reefs a tag team now? I was under the impression from his latest that he was standing on his own. Everything was cool. And I'm not bummed out - only a little annoyed since your latest. Sheesh. Karma, I guess. A person can be a smart-ass or they can wear the lovely ass-hat, whichever they deem more fashionable. ;D You're bummed out (now it's a little annoyed) about a post of mine that you don't even remember? Reefs is right, you imagine stuff and play out your dramas at the expense of others, over and over.
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Post by silver on Oct 3, 2012 3:15:12 GMT -5
I realize there was maybe 1 post of yours that I went hmmmm over, but I'm not about to go searching for it tonight. What? Are you n Reefs a tag team now? I was under the impression from his latest that he was standing on his own. Everything was cool. And I'm not bummed out - only a little annoyed since your latest. Sheesh. Karma, I guess. A person can be a smart-ass or they can wear the lovely ass-hat, whichever they deem more fashionable. ;D You're bummed out (now it's a little annoyed) about a post of mine that you don't even remember? Reefs is right, you imagine stuff and play out your dramas at the expense of others, over and over. At the expense of others? Which others are you referring to? No, seriously, tell me who am I making suffer. I remember wondering about a post of yours - and it's almost 1:15 am atm here. I knew there was something being unsaid in this thread, and I stayed up to see if it would come to light, and it has. This sure is a spiritual teaching kinda place. I'm learning lots.
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Post by frankshank on Oct 3, 2012 3:29:07 GMT -5
It's the scalpel brigade Silver. No matter how bad you feel as a result of their comments, you're responsible for feeling that way, in their eyes. If you don't like their brand of enlightenment don't engage.
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Post by silver on Oct 3, 2012 3:55:06 GMT -5
It's the scalpel brigade Silver. No matter how bad you feel as a result of their comments, you're responsible for feeling that way, in their eyes. If you don't like their brand of enlightenment don't engage. Hehe, this too shall pass, thanks Frank. My only consolation is that they feel like cr*p because of something they perceive I did - I can only remember all that stuff E has said about suffering. Yet, he appears to be suffering - along with scads of other spirichal types - and mad, too. This is soitanly an interesting turn of events.
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Post by glimmer on Oct 3, 2012 4:59:04 GMT -5
Back to bad poetry.
zen master sharpens knife student sharpens knife baby watches
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Post by quinn on Oct 3, 2012 5:23:27 GMT -5
Back to bad poetry. zen master sharpens knife student sharpens knife baby watchesThat was very very good.
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Post by zendancer on Oct 3, 2012 8:01:03 GMT -5
There are all sorts of gaps. For the average unelightened human, grief is a necessary process. Someone who doesn't suffer from it after a deep personal loss could perhaps be labeled a psycopath. The period of grieving and the way it is coped with is different from person to person. I certainly would not want to walk straight into a satsang instead of a funeral service. We may grieve as we need to, and also look for our spiritual needs as we can, in whatever way that presents itself. Obviously, many people turn up to this board because it is called Spiritual Teachers. I am here as I am looking into Rose, TAT, Maharishi etc al. An enlightened person walking through a disaster zone with many dead would not be well received by asking people to work on their story when they are trying to bury the dead. Silver - art is a wonderful therapy for grief, and poetry most certainly. I wouldn't like to say that your poetry is BAD POETRY (as this thread is called) at all. You wrote what is in your heart and letting it out is touching. I see so much sincerity from you, not a pitty party. Another approach is HUMOUR, which we hear from the enlighted ones that the universe is full of. What better way than to remember your lost loved one than with humour when you are able. Smile and the universe is smiling with you. Peace to you silver FWIW, enlightenment does not eliminate grieving; if anything, it increases empathy and the free flow of feelings. People are different, and they grieve in different ways and for different periods of time. I have never met a sage (and I have met many) who would walk through a disaster zone and tell people to let go of their stories. Ryokan, the famous Zen poet, cried at times because he was lonely. He also cried when he was overcome by beauty. Once, he was asked by a friend to talk to his wayward son in an effort to get him to straighten up. The boy came for a visit, but Ryokan did not admonish him about his past behavior or tell him what he ought to do. The boy was sitting when he felt something warm and wet fall on his neck. He looked up and saw that Ryokan was crying over him. This had a profound effect upon the boy and subsequently he changed his ways. Ryokan was intimate with THIS.
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Post by esponja on Oct 3, 2012 9:37:33 GMT -5
Damn and drats I couldn't stay away! In my defense, cabin fever!!! A break did me some good though.
So just logged on and this was first thread I read. Silver, your poetry was lovely. I can not imagine loosing one of my kids, every mother's (parent's) worse dream. There's more I'd like to write but I don't think I have the right words. We do hold onto our stories, a loss of a child would be the hardest one to let go off. I in fact, don't believe I'd ever even want to. I'm glad for your feminine emotional flavour you bring here. In saying that, go back, perhaps in a day or two and look deeply at what Reefs was trying to say/do. It was from a place of love.
However, Reefs and Enigma (he he you always get dragged in E), sometimes you guys need to realise that your words sound double dutch to most on the path. It's taken me a good year to understand a lot of it, so perhaps you can look at your ways of communicating more effectively?
Silver, these guys really do care. I think that's why I come back here and miss the 'love' and understanding that is actually not always there outside of the forum (and don't get me wrong, I am surrounded by very loving people). Stay with it if you can as you might find something nice comes out of it x
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Post by silver on Oct 3, 2012 10:12:40 GMT -5
No, the Pandora's box I am talking about is a certain pattern of behavior. This thread shows similar patterns to some other threads where you, top and Q played the leading roles: 1. you feel hurt/offended 2. the one you think that hurt you doesn't care 3. you feel outraged and look for support 4. you get support 5. the one who doesn't care gets defensive 6. you and your support show your outrage together 7. the one who doesn't care gets offensive 8. you gather more support 9. the one who doesn't care gets isolated 10. the one who doesn't care gets banned We are at stage 4 now. That is not where I am going. Maybe you are, but I'm not out to get anyone, and it sure seems you think I am. I was hurt, initially, by your posts on page 1 of this thread, but I am over that. But you're bringing other stuff to the table that is far from complimentary and I'm not seeking that and I don't think I'm asking for it, either. Why is it wrong for someone who is grieving the biggest loss like that to seek support and solace? Does your way of spiritual believing have a taboo about such things? If not, then why are you acting like there is? This is puzzling to me. If you care, then why do you keep attacking me? That is what it feels like, and I ask what you're getting at which only leads to more negative stuff? Oh - So this is about Q more than anything? I took a sleep aid at 2 and woke up at 8 - but anyway, little e, to help bring you up to speed, at the bottom of page 5, it finally (!) comes to light that this has nothing to do with me and my grieving - it has everything to do with Q and what they think I did 'to him'. (Getting him kicked out). Then, at the top of page 6, Reefs says let's let this thing cool down and Big E picks up the gauntlet and the knife and makes menacing gestures in my direction over said issue - which has not a darn thing to do with my dealing with the grief over the loss of my son.
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Post by charliegee on Oct 3, 2012 11:00:01 GMT -5
sometimes the only response to another's grief is silence, a hug or an listening ear... a hug is definitely in order... anything else is superfluous...
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Post by Deleted on Oct 3, 2012 11:17:58 GMT -5
sometimes the only response to another's grief is silence, a hug or an listening ear... a hug is definitely in order... anything else is superfluous... Wise words Charlie. Thanks for sharing them.
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