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Hello
Jul 12, 2013 10:38:17 GMT -5
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Post by topology on Jul 12, 2013 10:38:17 GMT -5
There was a running gag on SF about cranking flashlights as a euphemism for self-gratification. It irritated the mods. This was a couple years ago. It included several members. The message is also reference to Q having a tendency to call people perverted. Contextually relevant comment in the conversation about SF's moderation... But that's neither here nor there. I know the comment was risqué, I'll take any kind of sentence you dish out, temporary or permanent. But you did move to a less moderated position, this post was after that. Silver and I have exchanged a few PMs where she feels like I'm going to the dark side... *shrug* I perpetually defend E and R to her and our PMing just came to a point where it was clear I wasn't going to stop doing that. If Dulce wants to file a complaint, I completely understand. Silver did lobby for you to drop moderation, so this report on her part is incongruent with that sentiment. If Silver is going to keep reporting posts and use the Mod to fight her battles, then perhaps Reefs is right and she should be banned on principle. Top- This is the most incongruent thing I've ever seen you post. Incongruent with your expectations of me? Yeah I can accept that.
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Hello
Jul 12, 2013 10:46:01 GMT -5
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Post by topology on Jul 12, 2013 10:46:01 GMT -5
Silver reported Top's post here with the following: "Peter, I would like to have this post of Top's removed. I don't think it's appropriate at all. I think he may have flipped his lid. " Have you flipped your lid, Top? Silver - it was you that encouraged me to give up moderating, remember? Edit: But yes, I do find that Top seems to go through phases over being - what I'd judge to be - sexually inappropriate for a Spiritual Forum. Arguably sexuality is wrongly excluded from The Spiritual (eg it's a SIN) and this balance might need to be addressed, but stock car racing and shopping are also excluded so that's where "relevant discussion" might come in. I wonder if Top's "inappropriate" phases relates to some hormonal cycle or if there's a more obvious cause... It was me who encouraged you to give up moderating, but I was going by the new set-up and this is decidedly not amongst the 'unmoderated' sections, is it. I'm truly disappointed that the one it was directed to did not report it or comment, because well, I may be 'mature' yet I'm not that easily shocked - Top's comment was shocking to me and it did upset me - for my own reasons - but more importantly, I think if he said that to someone in mixed company in real life, I don't know but what he could be arrested for that sort of unwelcome comment. I can't believe his recklessness in saying those kind of things off and on, here and there. I think it's sick. Btw, I had no idea about the flashlight comments at SF - I remember them and had no idea what that was all about. It does make me smile, because of the situations over there, though. That could be your response to many things that you currently get concerned and distressed about, and for the same reason. God can't be harmed. And someday you'll have to realize that your own fears about people being harmed, especially on this forum, stems from your own distrust of God.
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Hello
Jul 12, 2013 10:49:59 GMT -5
Post by silver on Jul 12, 2013 10:49:59 GMT -5
I know it might be hard for you to really imagine one's self as a female when you're a male, Top, but given the goings on here, it doesn't surprise me - I should say the thought crossed my mind that maybe you are one of the males who wouldn't mind if this forum were all male - and saying something so ______ to a female newb was just one excellent way of seriously discouraging their participation. The whole idea of saying something like you did when you did and to whom is sick beyond belief. A really alarming thing to me is, I'm not so very up on all the nondual language but these recent newcomers ARE! That upsets me a whole bunch. SQ and CS have been enjoying wonderful involved conversations and discussions here - such a breath of fresh air they are.
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Hello
Jul 12, 2013 10:50:30 GMT -5
Post by silver on Jul 12, 2013 10:50:30 GMT -5
It was me who encouraged you to give up moderating, but I was going by the new set-up and this is decidedly not amongst the 'unmoderated' sections, is it. I'm truly disappointed that the one it was directed to did not report it or comment, because well, I may be 'mature' yet I'm not that easily shocked - Top's comment was shocking to me and it did upset me - for my own reasons - but more importantly, I think if he said that to someone in mixed company in real life, I don't know but what he could be arrested for that sort of unwelcome comment. I can't believe his recklessness in saying those kind of things off and on, here and there. I think it's sick. Btw, I had no idea about the flashlight comments at SF - I remember them and had no idea what that was all about. It does make me smile, because of the situations over there, though. That could be your response to many things that you currently get concerned and distressed about, and for the same reason. God can't be harmed. And someday you'll have to realize that your own fears about people being harmed, especially on this forum, stems from your own distrust of God. You are so mistaken.
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Deleted
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Jul 12, 2013 10:53:27 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Jul 12, 2013 10:53:27 GMT -5
There was a running gag on SF about cranking flashlights as a euphemism for self-gratification. It irritated the mods. This was a couple years ago. It included several members. Was Dulce in on that joke? That's important info.
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Hello
Jul 12, 2013 10:59:57 GMT -5
Post by andrew on Jul 12, 2013 10:59:57 GMT -5
SQ and CS have been enjoying wonderful involved conversations and discussions here - such a breath of fresh air they are. I agree, a breath of fresh air for the forum.
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Jul 12, 2013 11:02:40 GMT -5
Post by serpentqueen on Jul 12, 2013 11:02:40 GMT -5
Dulce is a friend of mine and on her behalf, I am sharing the PM she just sent me:
"I would feel better if they knew I didn't feel personally harmed. But to be honest- no I was not in on that flashlight joke- and yes his comment did cause my decision to delete my account... So there are good points being made in all sides
I actually do like to see such honest and challenging discussion, it's kind of heartening."
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Hello
Jul 12, 2013 11:12:16 GMT -5
Post by topology on Jul 12, 2013 11:12:16 GMT -5
Dulce is a friend of mine and on her behalf, I am sharing the PM she just sent me: "I would feel better if they knew I didn't feel personally harmed. But to be honest- no I was not in on that flashlight joke- and yes his comment did cause my decision to delete my account... So there are good points being made in all sides I actually do like to see such honest and challenging discussion, it's kind of heartening." There we have it. I was mistaken in thinking I knew who Dulce was, I thought she was part of that clique was in on the joke. Mea Culpa, I apologize. Dulce, if you decide to come back, I'll tip toe around you for a while.
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Hello
Jul 12, 2013 11:19:33 GMT -5
Post by serpentqueen on Jul 12, 2013 11:19:33 GMT -5
SQ and CS have been enjoying wonderful involved conversations and discussions here - such a breath of fresh air they are. I agree, a breath of fresh air for the forum. Thank you. :-) This whole thread demonstrates why I prefer my forums unmoderated. I prefer everything out in the open. If someone is going to get aggressive with/bully/harrass me, I'd rather it be overt rather than covert. Transparency provides a chance to clear the air, and if not, everyone is allowed to make their own judgments about what is going on. Everybody comes from a unique perspective, and sees interactions differently, depending on that perspective. When you only have a handful of mods/police, they will look at it only from their perspective. From my own perspective yesterday, when I saw Top's comment, I had a knee-jerk reaction to excuse his comment, because I know Top, I like him very much, and we have built up a large amount of trust over time. Since I also wasn't in on the flashlight joke, I had to come up with a pretty elaborate story to excuse this incongruency for myself -- and to excuse him to Dulce, since I had invited her here and was hoping she'd join. It was actually fascinating, to watch my mind at work. This morning, now that I see what really happened, I am inclined to agree here with Silver. It was out of line. Silver makes a lot of excellent points. That said, people make mistakes. Top explained himself and he apologized, and Dulce already accepted that apology. It takes a lot of character to admit one's mistake and apologize. It's still worthwhile to have a -general- discussion on sexual harassment though. There are a lot of women who deliberately choose masculine or neutral-gender names when participating on forums, for just this reason. I never have, but I totally understand why.
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Jul 12, 2013 14:03:51 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Jul 12, 2013 14:03:51 GMT -5
It's still worthwhile to have a -general- discussion on sexual harassment though. There are a lot of women who deliberately choose masculine or neutral-gender names when participating on forums, for just this reason. I never have, but I totally understand why. Yes, definitely worthwhile. It's a subject that comes up now and then anyway, though I haven't seen a thread explicitly devoted to it yet. We've had a bit on misogyny, rape culture, sexism, pornography. As expected, there's a range of perspectives that you'd find in day to day world. And there's the rad perspective that I've only seen in this type of nonduality context -- sumthin' around investment or belief in " other" and -isms already setting the framework for abuse to happen. I'm not the best rep for this perspective.
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Post by laughter on Jul 13, 2013 22:41:18 GMT -5
Dulce is a friend of mine and on her behalf, I am sharing the PM she just sent me: "I would feel better if they knew I didn't feel personally harmed. But to be honest- no I was not in on that flashlight joke- and yes his comment did cause my decision to delete my account... So there are good points being made in all sides I actually do like to see such honest and challenging discussion, it's kind of heartening." How'd the interview go SQ? Anyone get punched in the face?
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