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Post by onehandclapping on Jun 12, 2013 20:55:09 GMT -5
Howdy, kids, it's been a while. Just dropping in to let my pregnant doges know what's up. I know how much you care and all. Anyway, with the pool open for the season I've been clocking in a lot more time ATA. And by that I mean it's actually happening again, after a fairly long period of absence. So I'm lying on the water on a raft kinda just breathing and soaking in some sun. Staring at the floor of the pool...it starts feeling like me watching it watching me. Then nothing's watching nothing. Then I'm watching myself. And I don't mean I'm the floor looking up at me, I mean there's a looking inward at this 'me-ness' that sees the things of the world. I'm looking at this me-ness, and wondering what's so special about it that I'm looking at it so much. I'm wondering what exactly it is that makes it feel like a me rather than a not-me. There's a definite feeling of this me looking out at that not-me. This me-ness sees things like a camera lens or a movie film, and as the lone 'identifiable/observable' seeing-thing for the movie/picture, it is part of the movie/picture. It IS the vision, the sound, and all of the other perceptions. It IS the movie that it's watching because without it there to watch the movie there'd be no movie. But it still seems like me looking at no-me. At the same time it doesn't, though. In the moment there's just the watcher and the watchee creating a sort of circuit like electricity. A search has started up again, but I don't know what for or why, and all I end up finding every single time is that inward me-ness. I s'pose I'll wrap the book up for now. Sounds like more time away from the site might do you good. I suggest not reading, writing, or talking about anything spiritual for a while. Let your mind take a break from seeking. Force it to do so. Just be. Then "try" to stop "trying" to just be. Then try to stop trying to try. Ya end up with just being (ATA)eventually. I have found a cat can help this "process". Sit with it and mimic it's state of being.... Silent and still...... Unless it wants to be pet all the time, then you might find a tree or a flower....... or a gun..... hehehe.... Where's my devil horned smiley face.....  |
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Post by mamza on Jun 13, 2013 22:25:41 GMT -5
Howdy, kids, it's been a while. Just dropping in to let my pregnant doges know what's up. I know how much you care and all. Anyway, with the pool open for the season I've been clocking in a lot more time ATA. And by that I mean it's actually happening again, after a fairly long period of absence. So I'm lying on the water on a raft kinda just breathing and soaking in some sun. Staring at the floor of the pool...it starts feeling like me watching it watching me. Then nothing's watching nothing. Then I'm watching myself. And I don't mean I'm the floor looking up at me, I mean there's a looking inward at this 'me-ness' that sees the things of the world. I'm looking at this me-ness, and wondering what's so special about it that I'm looking at it so much. I'm wondering what exactly it is that makes it feel like a me rather than a not-me. There's a definite feeling of this me looking out at that not-me. This me-ness sees things like a camera lens or a movie film, and as the lone 'identifiable/observable' seeing-thing for the movie/picture, it is part of the movie/picture. It IS the vision, the sound, and all of the other perceptions. It IS the movie that it's watching because without it there to watch the movie there'd be no movie. But it still seems like me looking at no-me. At the same time it doesn't, though. In the moment there's just the watcher and the watchee creating a sort of circuit like electricity. A search has started up again, but I don't know what for or why, and all I end up finding every single time is that inward me-ness. I s'pose I'll wrap the book up for now. Sounds like more time away from the site might do you good. I suggest not reading, writing, or talking about anything spiritual for a while. Let your mind take a break from seeking. Force it to do so. Just be. Then "try" to stop "trying" to just be. Then try to stop trying to try. Ya end up with just being (ATA)eventually. I have found a cat can help this "process". Sit with it and mimic it's state of being.... Silent and still...... Unless it wants to be pet all the time, then you might find a tree or a flower....... or a gun..... hehehe.... Where's my devil horned smiley face..... Well actually, I have done the no reading/writing/talking about spiritual stuff lately. For a few months, actually. I pop in once in a while to tell people to cool their jets but I usually don't read more than one post. I made no effort toward anything other than what I was doing at that time, but it didn't feel like ata to me. And even now I'm not really making any effort toward it. It just happens, I notice it, and I wonder about it. Then I go back to business as usual. |
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Post by onehandclapping on Jun 20, 2013 19:15:40 GMT -5
Sounds like more time away from the site might do you good. I suggest not reading, writing, or talking about anything spiritual for a while. Let your mind take a break from seeking. Force it to do so. Just be. Then "try" to stop "trying" to just be. Then try to stop trying to try. Ya end up with just being (ATA)eventually. I have found a cat can help this "process". Sit with it and mimic it's state of being.... Silent and still...... Unless it wants to be pet all the time, then you might find a tree or a flower....... or a gun..... hehehe.... Where's my devil horned smiley face..... Well actually, I have done the no reading/writing/talking about spiritual stuff lately. For a few months, actually. I pop in once in a while to tell people to cool their jets but I usually don't read more than one post. I made no effort toward anything other than what I was doing at that time, but it didn't feel like ata to me. And even now I'm not really making any effort toward it. It just happens, I notice it, and I wonder about it. Then I go back to business as usual. Yeah, it feels like a desert sometimes when you give up drinking the kool-aid of the mind. I hate writing crap like this because I know what it was like when peeps would say it to me, but give up the idea of what ATA-ing feels like. It feels like living life. You ATA every second of every day. You've done it for your entire existence in this current mind/body form. There's nothing more to it than that. Another line that's over used but valid, is "try to take yourself back to the mind set of experiencing life through the eyes of a child". When we were kids, we directly experienced the world without the veil of the mind. No labels. No someone doing something. Just direct experience (doing). I would also say try to stop "wondering about it". Although we ultimately have no control, while the perception of choice is there, it's a good thing to try. Reflection re-enforces the idea of self. This ATA-ing happening to an individual. Just attend the actual. No commentary about how it's going or anything else about it. Hope that all makes sense.... It's easy to live it, but much more difficult to express through words..... especially for us simpletons.  |
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Post by quinn on Jun 20, 2013 19:54:19 GMT -5
Plus I think the only people who read my garbage anymore are people like laughter and Beingist, who happen to be right on point with my usual *somersault*s. I always read your stuff, Mamza. Read and enjoy. But so far, no response has ever popped up in my head. You leave me speechless, Mamza! |
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Post by ???????? ???????????? on Jun 20, 2013 21:24:25 GMT -5
I always read your stuff, Mamza. Read and enjoy. +1 |
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Post by mamza on Jun 24, 2013 2:38:40 GMT -5
Well actually, I have done the no reading/writing/talking about spiritual stuff lately. For a few months, actually. I pop in once in a while to tell people to cool their jets but I usually don't read more than one post. I made no effort toward anything other than what I was doing at that time, but it didn't feel like ata to me. And even now I'm not really making any effort toward it. It just happens, I notice it, and I wonder about it. Then I go back to business as usual. Yeah, it feels like a desert sometimes when you give up drinking the kool-aid of the mind. I hate writing crap like this because I know what it was like when peeps would say it to me, but give up the idea of what ATA-ing feels like. It feels like living life. You ATA every second of every day. You've done it for your entire existence in this current mind/body form. There's nothing more to it than that. Another line that's over used but valid, is "try to take yourself back to the mind set of experiencing life through the eyes of a child". When we were kids, we directly experienced the world without the veil of the mind. No labels. No someone doing something. Just direct experience (doing). I would also say try to stop "wondering about it". Although we ultimately have no control, while the perception of choice is there, it's a good thing to try. Reflection re-enforces the idea of self. This ATA-ing happening to an individual. Just attend the actual. No commentary about how it's going or anything else about it. Hope that all makes sense.... It's easy to live it, but much more difficult to express through words..... especially for us simpletons. I think I get you. I'm glad you mentioned having an idea of how ATA feels, because I definitely had one and didn't realize it. Although I don't really understand how I failed to realize that other than my incredible levels of stupid. Even saying ATA brings up what I believe ATA to be, mentally, and I guess that right there is a pretty clear indicator that I'm full of shit. Hahaha, it's time to go read a book. Plus I think the only people who read my garbage anymore are people like laughter and Beingist, who happen to be right on point with my usual *somersault*s. I always read your stuff, Mamza. Read and enjoy. But so far, no response has ever popped up in my head. You leave me speechless, Mamza! Quinn: I was not aware of that. Kindofstalkerishifyouaskme. *Coughcough* haha I always read your stuff, Mamza. Read and enjoy. +1 Bambi: Sorry if this is a dumb question, but are you Question? I ask because I see your name is new and I also see lots of logical / analytical statements in your posts. |
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Post by ???????? ???????????? on Jun 24, 2013 6:11:41 GMT -5
Bambi: Sorry if this is a dumb question, but are you Question? I ask because I see your name is new and I also see lots of logical / analytical statements in your posts. Yes. |
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Post by quinn on Jun 24, 2013 6:55:21 GMT -5
I always read your stuff, Mamza. Read and enjoy. But so far, no response has ever popped up in my head. You leave me speechless, Mamza! Quinn: I was not aware of that. Kindofstalkerishifyouaskme. *Coughcough* haha  |
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Post by onehandclapping on Jun 25, 2013 19:01:39 GMT -5
I think I get you. I'm glad you mentioned having an idea of how ATA feels, because I definitely had one and didn't realize it. Although I don't really understand how I failed to realize that other than my incredible levels of stupid. Even saying ATA brings up what I believe ATA to be, mentally, and I guess that right there is a pretty clear indicator that I'm full of nuts. Hahaha, it's time to go read a book. That's the same for the final realization of no self/oneness/whatever you want to call the shift. Once it shifts, you laugh at how you "over looked it" for so long. We are all equally insane on the level of mind..... so you are not alone on being full of nuts.  |
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Post by Beingist on Jun 25, 2013 21:20:14 GMT -5
I think I get you. I'm glad you mentioned having an idea of how ATA feels, because I definitely had one and didn't realize it. Although I don't really understand how I failed to realize that other than my incredible levels of stupid. Even saying ATA brings up what I believe ATA to be, mentally, and I guess that right there is a pretty clear indicator that I'm full of nuts. Hahaha, it's time to go read a book. That's the same for the final realization of no self/oneness/whatever you want to call the shift. Once it shifts, you laugh at how you "over looked it" for so long. We are all equally insane on the level of mind..... so you are not alone on being full of nuts. |
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