Post by scared on Jul 31, 2011 16:57:52 GMT -5
I don't know if I'm doing the right thing by writing to this forum. My husband is a follower of Diamond Way under Ole Nydal. Although he has changed considerably for the better (his long term affair with a younger woman nearly ruined our marriage) I'm still worried. Not only about our marriage, but also about my husbands future as he gets deeper into DW, and my future when he and his DW colleagues realize that I am participating in this forum.
During the most stressful part of our marital discord my husband went to Ole for advice, carrying a picture of his girlfriend, and a picture of me as had been requested. Ole spent only a few minutes with him (I was waiting in the guest area as I was not permitted to join my husband in this consultation). Ole looked at the pictures and told him to "get rid of the wife". Ole is clearly not the right example for a monogamous relationship. Fortunately, my husband did not follow this advice.
My husband is time consumingly involved in practicing Buddhism (that's good) and going to every possible event where he can study/meditate (also good) and serve the organisation (leading meditaitons, cooking, cleaning, donating money - hmmmm!). He is so enamored by Ole he is a walking book of quotations with a logic that is (in his mind) indisputable.
We've watched Ole's video's together. I find Ole's racists comments very disturbing. My husband explains this away saying Ole makes these comments to weed out the people who don't belong in DW. Does that mean non-whites like me are not welcomed as members??? It scares me that my husband worships a man who believes that people in third world countries- especially Africans have earned the circumstances in which they exist as victims of genocide, racism, poverty... (I heard him say this in a video).
I've accompanied my husband to several of Ole's lectures. I've found them very confusing and wonder why his followers make excuses for Ole's nebulous teachings. If you don't understand, you are at fault for not participating in the studies from Basic to Buddha. Every wrong can be explained away by some kind of theory of non-existence. My husband is a good man. I thank God for therapy because if we had to depend on DW we wouldn't even be trying to stay together.
My husband has been involved with DW for several years. I was hoping to ride out the wave but the tide is not changing. I pray that this is not a cult like many people say, and hope that my fears are unfounded. Until my gut tells me something else I'm sleeping with my eyes open.