poetry

[charliegee]

so do you ...

I saw him lying there
mumbling to himself
obviously drunk, high
or seriously demented

dirtier than any human being
should really be, his clothes
so stained and tattered
they were unrecognizable

his eyes (such a watery blue)
gave off a frightening transparency
as if you could see right through him
or more fearful, he through you

his long dirty grey/blonde hair
was a frightful mess, medusa like
with reptilian strands, thick and oily
like each had a life of its own ...

and the smell, entirely enough
to keep anyone within ten feet of him
don't know what drew me to him or
what possessed me to stop ...

but I did, nauseated by the sight
and stench of him, I asked him
if there was anything he needed
with one eye, he looked up ...

and smiled ...
the warmest, most knowing smile
I had ever witnessed ...
despite the yellow, rotting teeth ...

'no kid, I have everything I need'
'can't you see that?' ....
I couldn't believe what I heard
and stumbled away shocked ...

I made it to the corner ...
turned and picked up my pace
when I heard that same voice say
'yeah kid, and so do you' ...

CG 10/16/10

[charliegee]

the wind ...

to describe this life as sorrow
I suppose is only right ...
for pain is ever present
darkness hides the light

with sickness all around us
and pain not far away
too often our tomorrow
is too high a price to pay

we look back in desperation
to invent a happy past
a lie we can believe in
something that will last

do we ever stop and wonder
why do we live like this
just what it is that stops us
from finding what we miss

we see one side of the story
we cling to what we know
to what we learned from others
who had nothing they could show

the freedom that you yearn for
the freedom that you lack
it hides round every corner
right off the beaten track

it isn't newfound knowledge
not something you can know
it's not what you hold onto
more what you let go ...

forget about your learning
what you've been taught is wrong
dance when all is fading ...
sing a freedom song ...

accept what you've been given
there is no more to tell
the road that leads to heaven
winds through the road to hell

stop fighting your existence
say yes to all you see ...
god will stoop to raise you
when all hope has ceased to be

it's there that love will find you
though the darkness is at hand
the peace that folds around you
is not yours to understand

it surpasses understanding
its nothing for to keep ...
just the wind that rustles
when deep cries out to deep ...

CG 10/19/10

[charliegee]

alright ...

it's all a dream
what else could it be
I look back at photos
of myself ...

of family and though
it was surely me in them
it just doesn't grip me
in the purest sense

even though my eyes
well up with tears ...
at some of the images
I'd need a ton of glue

to have any of them stick
in any real sense ...
it's like thumbing through
a magazine, you see what's there

but turn the page without
any sense of holding on
any sense that any of it
belongs to you ...

the love is real ...
the tears, the feelings
but it's all separate
from where you stand now

just as music resonates
echoes inside you ...
it doesn't evoke memory
it just rattles around ...

vibrates inside ...
then gone ...
like clouds
through a windy sky

we come
we go, we blow away
and it's alright
somehow, it's all alright

CG 10/21/10

[charliegee]

the play ...

feel vaguely off today
like something is wrong
but can't put my finger
on just what it is ...

it's a familiar feeling
I've had it most of my life
a certain unease ...
a suspicion that I don't fit

in the general scheme of things
that I'm just playing a part, following
a script, that the life we lead is just
a play, a farce that we all buy into

and play to the best of our abilities
and truly believe is real ...
there are times I flub my lines
times I'm caught in the spotlight

without a clue how I should act
or a thought as to what I should do
so I watch the other players and
follow their lead, follow their ...

cues ~ but then it dawns on me
they're only doing the same ...
some really caught up in the show
and others just bit players like me

it's then that I understand ...
that it's not just something
that is wrong, everything is
no use telling others ...

they'll just call me crazy
or heretic or something worse
and no use finding another
production company to revise

or upgrade the play, no I just ...
I just have to walk out the back door
to little or no applause ...
and breathe the cool night air ...

CG 10/24/10

[charliegee]

the giggle ...

I've heard it so many times
the giggle of those in the know
oh, it's subtle alright ...
almost imperceptible ...

but you get to recognize it
it's a slightly haughty sound
not a laugh or a guffaw ...
that would be far too obvious ...

and not in keeping with
the keepers of secrets
the chosen ones ...
the elite, the elect ...

they belong to the correct group
the select group ...
which gives them the right
the sacred duty perhaps ...

to look down their long noses
on the unwashed masses
the riff-raff, the uninformed
those on the outside ...

of that precious little circle ...
that special ~ that wonderful group
I've heard it often, the giggle
of those in the know ...

and it is hideous ...

CG 10/24/10

[charliegee]

not all the time ...

I get it, it's all a dream
what we call reality ...
is just a projection
of our wishes, our hopes

and especially our fears
I see it clearly at times
not real, what you think
not real, what you see

it's a play, a movie ...
and we run the projectors
I see it clearly at times
but not at all times ...

watching a mom and dad
who have lost their three kids
all under five years of age
in a terrible car accident ...

how is that projection?
how is that not real?
it was real enough
that the folks made a pact

to off themselves ...
to go out together
in an effort to somehow
reconnect with those three

those three lost babies
their reason for being in the world
and almost their reason
for leaving it ...

don't know what to say
their pain is real
and so is mine ...
wish I could whisk it away

with a turn of word
with a turn of mind
really wish that I could
but don't know how ...

I get it sometimes

but not all the time ...

CG 10/26/10

[charliegee]

yellow ...

saw the moon, half-full ...
yellow against the darkness
of the sky looking all lonely
up there in the chill night air ...

and I was struck by the beauty
struck by the incredible world
that we take for granted at best
and usually just totally ignore ...

what are we but upright apes
swinging our clubs and destroying
everything in sight, what are we
that we take it upon ourselves ...

to plunder, rape and pillage
all of creation and one another
saw the moon, half-full ...
yellow against the dark night sky ...

CG 10/28/10

[charliegee]

coping mechanisms ...

sometimes life burns
sometimes life turns ugly
spins out of control ...
and we're face to face ...

with the fact that there
isn't any control at all
that what we thought
was control were only ideas

just waking daydreams
just devices to keep
the darkness at bay
the monsters under the bed

funny, to learn that security
is only in submission
to the ways of the wind
the rush of the tides ...

that the only safety
is in surrender ...
in acceptance ...
in embracing the void ...

where God is in hiding
doling out grace ...
spreading His love ...
to his suffering children

to all his suffering children ...

CG 10/29/10

[charliegee]

here ...

there's a time for regret
and a place for it as well
but travel quickly through
the road leads straight to hell

it's okay to see your past
but as far as I can tell
it's just a place to visit
not a place to dwell ...

and dreams of times to come
they may serve you right ...
though you cannot pitch a tent
for the ground is way too light

so stay right there where you are
it all arises out of this ...
there's nothing you don't have
and nothing that's amiss ...

CG 11/3/10

[charliegee]

life moves ...

there's nothing here to get
no matter how you play it
the price is on your head
no matter where you lay it

we come in this world alone
and we leave it just the same
no one can change that ...
it's the nature of the game

this thin veneer of honor ...
cracks at the slightest touch
but we'll blame it all on others
everybody needs a crutch ...

if we were truly honest ...
we'd certainly retreat ...
give up all hope of winning
and gladly take defeat ...

the thing about competing
is that it never ends ...
you go on until you're left with
no feelings and no friends ...

wouldn't it be simpler ...
to throw it all away ...
you started out with nothing
you'll finish the same way

peace will come to everyone
who waits upon the lord ...
this is all that I can count on
and all I can afford ...

there's nothing here to get
so you can just forget it ...
life moves on it's own ...
all you have to do is let it

CG 11/3/10

[louij]

Looove this poetry, the speaking into life of the energy of loving beyond all circumstance..... often come here just to bath in the light, hugs .... louij

[charliegee]

thank you so much, Louij, and I always appreciate your kind words ...

much love,
Cee Gee

[charliegee]

all grace ...

it's all grace, this life
a wondrous entanglement
a crazy quilt of love and pain
peace and turmoil ...

shadow and light
compassion and bitterness
embrace it all, I tell you
there is no other way

why wait for perfection
that will never be ...
why hope against hope
why not see what is

and love what is
without trying to alter it
or wait for a time
that is more to your liking

love the time you have
not the one you wish could be
why, not? ...
it's all grace anyway ...

CG 5/23/10

[charliegee]

somebody died ...

somebody died
I think it was me
life isn't the same
as it used to be

it isn't as frenzied
it isn't so dire ...
no more running around
like my head is on fire

the sun still comes up
the moon covers the night
and I have the strange feeling
that all is alright ...

not much really changed
and it all looks the same
there's just no more pressure
to stay ahead of the game ...

it all seems so simple ...
and it's easy to see
that somebody died
and I think it was me

CG 11/5/10

[charliegee]

the folly of kings ...

washed down in parallel waters
where horizon meets the sky
I brought my boat to harbor
where angels usually fly ....

and in the sudden silence
stars came out to play ...
with shallow soldiers marching
each going their own way ...

oh bliss of life untarnished
oh pain of life completed
pleasures just a decoy ...
when hope has been depleted

and if I stay in rapture
or if I live distressed ...
in the end it comes out even
for the king is still undressed ...

CG 11/5/10