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Post by Peter on Dec 16, 2008 7:38:33 GMT -5
I've been questioning lately if there's anything I should be doing with my life other than raising children and going to work. Not that I've got any energy for anything else. Retirement does still seem like a long way off, however. Classic mid-life crisis situation.
I've rejected material values which means I've pretty much accepted that my career is where I want it to be - the right balance (for me) between money, time and stress. So now all I'm left with in terms of drives are various conflicts going on between the ego that wants me to be famous and the spiritual side that's trying to wipe out the ego entirely. Not to mention various biological and environmental factors. Really, lets not mention them.
Last night quite by chance/synchronicity I started reading The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho which I'm thoroughly enjoying - it's all about working out your life's purpose and working towards your destiny. So I decided to ask the universe to help me determine 'Why I'm here' and I had the following dream:
Kate Moss was performing on stage with a band, lighting matches and putting them out on her skin. She was stumbling about and making a fool of herself. Then she turned to the lead singer and said "I'm a puppet, please tell me what to do".
So I sort of feel now like I'm being told not to expect my life purpose to be handed to me on a plate. Or perhaps that I need to get my own behaviour sorted out before I can do anything more 'useful'. I've also got a suspicion that my Higher Self doesn't mind what I do - what does it care about 'achievement' when there are soul lessons to be learned? Why would it matter in what circumstances those lessons are learned? Making my own choice about what to do with my life (without outside assistance) may be one of those lessons.
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Post by Peter on Dec 16, 2008 11:12:50 GMT -5
Thanks for taking the time to give such a comprehensive reply, Kevin, I appreciate it.
Perhaps I should say "Rein in the Egotism" rather than "Wipe out the Ego"
Kate Moss is a model - about the same age that I am. I suppose for me she represents the antithesis of the spiritual life.
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Post by commiejesus on Dec 16, 2008 12:36:03 GMT -5
We are ALL put on this earth for each and every lifetime to learn a specific lesson and fulfill a mission - this is what the Hindus call, Dharma. Finding this dharma is of the utmost importance. Once you did that and set on the course you were intended, your clarity will be better and bliss and joy will be yours. I've been questioning lately if there's anything I should be doing with my life other than raising children and going to work. Not that I've got any energy for anything else. Retirement does still seem like a long way off, however. Classic mid-life crisis situation. I've rejected material values which means I've pretty much accepted that my career is where I want it to be - the right balance (for me) between money, time and stress. So now all I'm left with in terms of drives are various conflicts going on between the ego that wants me to be famous and the spiritual side that's trying to wipe out the ego entirely. Not to mention various biological and environmental factors. Really, lets not mention them. Last night quite by chance/synchronicity I started reading The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho which I'm thoroughly enjoying - it's all about working out your life's purpose and working towards your destiny. So I decided to ask the universe to help me determine 'Why I'm here' and I had the following dream: Kate Moss was performing on stage with a band, lighting matches and putting them out on her skin. She was stumbling about and making a fool of herself. Then she turned to the lead singer and said "I'm a puppet, please tell me what to do". So I sort of feel now like I'm being told not to expect my life purpose to be handed to me on a plate. Or perhaps that I need to get my own behaviour sorted out before I can do anything more 'useful'. I've also got a suspicion that my Higher Self doesn't mind what I do - what does it care about 'achievement' when there are soul lessons to be learned? Why would it matter in what circumstances those lessons are learned? Making my own choice about what to do with my life (without outside assistance) may be one of those lessons. |
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fear
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Post by fear on Dec 16, 2008 13:34:07 GMT -5
That is a cool dream. You've gotta think, why have we suppressed who we really are for such a long time. And why are some of us pushing the world as we know it away (not that it works, but we still try).
What is it about this lifetime that has given you the opportunity to realize who you are? And will there be other chances in other lifetimes or is it really "NOW OR NEVER". What if in your next life you are very poor or life keeps you so busy that you don't have a chance to 'go inward' and you spend another 100 lifetimes suffering before you get another chance to soul search.
Sometimes I find myself partying, drinking, smoking pot, chasing women and I'm having such a good time but suddenly it dawns on me that I'm just allowing myself to sink deeper into this illusion and I end up feeling like I'm wasting this life. And for the next little while I life in neutrality where i don't overdo anything until I slip up again.
Lately I've been trying some of Osho's techniques from the book of secrets. I don't have the book but found some excerpts on the net. Very difficult to do. Makes me feel like I'm growing.
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Post by Peter on Dec 16, 2008 16:08:43 GMT -5
Sometimes I find myself partying, drinking, smoking pot, chasing women and I'm having such a good time but suddenly it dawns on me that I'm just allowing myself to sink deeper into this illusion and I end up feeling like I'm wasting this life. I know just what you mean. Oddly for me, over the weekends when you'd think I'd have more time to myself I actually spend less time 'present' (reflexive/access consciousness, self remembering, watching the watcher - whatever you call it) than I do when I'm at work. It seems like because work is so... not what I'd be doing if I could help it, it's actually a great environment for turning my mind to spiritual matters. That and the fact that our internet usage is monitored.  Edit: Removed off-topic chat |
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Post by someNOTHING! on Dec 16, 2008 21:06:59 GMT -5
Pete, No worries. I'm sure there are bits and pieces (if not a lot more) that could be misunderstood. "Rein in the ego"....yea, it's constructed of every thought, so it gets interesting. The "wipe out" can happen, but you won't be there to "experience" it, but of course, you will remember it....and the game will likely play on a little more. When I look back on my own wrestling match with my self, it reminds me of this video! Trust me, it was painful and freaky and utterly confusing for quite some time, but when I saw it for what it was, I truly DID laugh. It was/is/will be right HERE, all the time. www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSC1GhGdsgg&feature=relatedConsciousness. A deep understanding of what this word actually means is imperative to your pursuit. Perhaps, part of your difficulty will be in your scientific training but, depending on the nature of your personality (perhaps check out some Enneagram studies www.enneagraminstitute.com/ ), that could also be used to a tremendous advantage....sort of like a no-nonsense scientist of the heart, if you will. When I say things about the ego as a center, just remember, it's only where you THINK your center is....thoughts arising...creation of false sense of self...connections to the "world", thus consensual "reality".....same thing. dog......leg..... leg......dog.... laughter.... Good. |
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fear
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Post by fear on Dec 18, 2008 23:15:00 GMT -5
Hey someNothing, describe your final experience of thought before it shattered? What led up to or caused the final collapse of the thought structure? Do you still feel thoughts trying to arise? Do you ever use thought anymore?
Are you sure that you are free of thought? not that you have to prove anything to me.
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Post by someNOTHING! on Dec 20, 2008 7:33:24 GMT -5
Hi Fear,
I'm not trying to take the piss here, but for the sake of clarifying to yourself and those that read the board, just clarify your general perspective, your set of questions and what you are seeking to discover/uncover. I don't read a lot of things on this board, and don't really know your style or intent, but am willing to provide some input for a discussion.
My only difficulty will be that I will be going to the US for the holidays and will likely be away from computers for long periods of time over the next 2 months. Also, I work as a teacher trainer in the Far East, so my time for said dialog is limited. My first instinct is that you're quite curious, and that's cool, but the question and intent, to me, is very important.
Again, I'm not picking at you; it's just that these discussions can go on and there's plenty of room for misunderstanding, partly because language can't do it, and especially because I'm very new to expressing it. Truthfully, I have no need to write to myself other than for clarification in the dreamstate, but it is not necessary. This is kind of what you might have been getting at in your first set of questions about thoughts. You might also clarify to me your understanding of what you are asking...does that make sense?
I truly hope you respond and in earnest. I think it's the coolest discussion in the world, but it is necessary to challenge any world view in the search for the Truth.
Ultimately, you must die for it. If I were you, I'd do it.
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