fear makes freedom a burden

[Deleted]

We say freedom is a good thing, but I notice that part of me likes it when my options are removed or I'm forced to do something. There is a underlying fear of making the 'wrong' choices in life, and that is relieved when I don't have to make a choice. Of course it would be better to get rid of the fear and be 'free'.  

Not really a question here; I'm simply posting some thoughts.

[mamza]

If it helps, there aren't really any right or wrong choices to begin with. There are just choices and the consequences of those choices. Some would argue that there aren't really even any choices to make and that cause and effect are an illusion.

For what it's worth, though, the more intense my focus on all this business became, the less choices seemed to matter. 'Freedom' came in a way I didn't expect and couldn't have hoped for at the time. It wasn't liberating, either--I just suddenly didn't have certain issues I had been having before. Without the right attention I may have never even noticed those concerns missing.

I don't know what your goals are, but if you were to ask for advice (which I know you didn't) I would recommend focusing on your breath. It's easy, it doesn't matter how long you do it for, and eventually it will help clear a lot of things up if you pair it with contemplation. I know it's not that simple but try not to focus on what's right or wrong, just what's happening. "Correct action" will come in time with dutiful attention.