In need of help

[help]

Ok so i tried lsd for the first time about 4 months ago. I had experimented with other drugs before and was a frequent pot smoker but had never done halluscinagens. I did it with some folk i didnt really know all that well and ever since ive been in a really bad state. I took 2 drops and after a short time i fell over on the floor feeling sick. i felt my spirit starting to LIFT out of my body but it was sucked back down. A little while later (seemed like an instant) i was staring my friend face to face and a thought crossed my mind, i was god he was the devil. seemingly wihtout control i smiled, hugged him, told him i loved him, and walked over to the bed to lay down. As i layed down there were swirls of colors and i saw bottles astral bottles of liquor beer and cigarette packs appear and the fade away as if i was being told to avoid those substances. Then the thought crossed my mind that i was going to die. I felt very scared but was paralized with fear. Next thing i know i heard a demonic laugh and where i was laying on the bed i saw what looked like flames on the wall as my spirit sank DOWN into complete darkness. As my spirit seemed to keep falling i heard a small female whisper And then a White line of beautiful light accompanied by a noise like that of a strum of a harp flew by in front of what would be my vision, even though i could see nothing. After disappearing, this white beam of light came flying at my face from a distance. as it took over the whole area around me and then disappeared i seen the room i was in materializing in front me. It felt as if i had woken up into a dream, but it was "reality". As we got into the vehicle to leave the place we were i was in a world of darkness. The further we went down the road, the more my brain had to materialize what i rememebered about the place we were. I even got caught into a "loop" at a couple of points in time. For the next few weeks after that i felt strange, out of place. It got so strange that i had to return home to live with my parents. On my journey back home i stayed with some family members where things got really weird. I would smoke weed and it would give me panic attacks. Also, the characters in the tv were talking to me. And at times, when things felt really bad, by holding my breath, i was able to manipulate what would happen to the the people, like im having a direct connection with the universe. But now, things are getting scary. I have less control and things seem to be telling me if i dont move to the next phase of awakening soon then i will die. Im really terrified and need help understanding whats going on. I just want to wake up and live my normal life. I didnt know what i was getting into. None of the people would tell me, they all said u just have to try it. PLEASE HELP ME IM ONLY 18.

[Deleted]

Feb 12, 2014 17:14:25 GMT -5 help said:

Ok so i tried lsd for the first time about 4 months ago. I had experimented with other drugs before and was a frequent pot smoker but had never done halluscinagens. I did it with some folk i didnt really know all that well and ever since ive been in a really bad state. I took 2 drops and after a short time i fell over on the floor feeling sick. i felt my spirit starting to LIFT out of my body but it was sucked back down. A little while later (seemed like an instant) i was staring my friend face to face and a thought crossed my mind, i was god he was the devil. seemingly wihtout control i smiled, hugged him, told him i loved him, and walked over to the bed to lay down. As i layed down there were swirls of colors and i saw bottles astral bottles of liquor beer and cigarette packs appear and the fade away as if i was being told to avoid those substances. Then the thought crossed my mind that i was going to die. I felt very scared but was paralized with fear. Next thing i know i heard a demonic laugh and where i was laying on the bed i saw what looked like flames on the wall as my spirit sank DOWN into complete darkness. As my spirit seemed to keep falling i heard a small female whisper And then a White line of beautiful light accompanied by a noise like that of a strum of a harp flew by in front of what would be my vision, even though i could see nothing. After disappearing, this white beam of light came flying at my face from a distance. as it took over the whole area around me and then disappeared i seen the room i was in materializing in front me. It felt as if i had woken up into a dream, but it was "reality". As we got into the vehicle to leave the place we were i was in a world of darkness. The further we went down the road, the more my brain had to materialize what i rememebered about the place we were. I even got caught into a "loop" at a couple of points in time. For the next few weeks after that i felt strange, out of place. It got so strange that i had to return home to live with my parents. On my journey back home i stayed with some family members where things got really weird. I would smoke weed and it would give me panic attacks. Also, the characters in the tv were talking to me. And at times, when things felt really bad, by holding my breath, i was able to manipulate what would happen to the the people, like im having a direct connection with the universe. But now, things are getting scary. I have less control and things seem to be telling me if i dont move to the next phase of awakening soon then i will die. Im really terrified and need help understanding whats going on. I just want to wake up and live my normal life. I didnt know what i was getting into. None of the people would tell me, they all said u just have to try it. PLEASE HELP ME IM ONLY 18.

There's a common saying that I've found helpful: "This too shall pass." It's true.

One thing to know is that those peeps had no experience like you are having -- they don't deserve any blame or anything. Everyone has a unique experience.

The last time I tripped took a long time to 'get over.' Powerful imagery. As you allude to, they are images in a dream.

What makes matters worse is the fear of insanity or something. I used to call it schizophrenaphobia. There's strange stuff that arises. Paranoia, etc. Notice your reaction to those things. Don't invest a lot in the reactions. Notice the fear.

Stop doing any kind of psychoactive for a while. Get outside. Drink lots of water. Eat good food (produce). Exercise. Sleep. Try doing guided meditations before sleep or something really relaxing.

Remember, this too shall pass.

[andrew]

Okay. Well, let me just say first of all that I am not a counsellor, therapist or expert in these kinds of things.

But what I am seeing is that you would benefit from grounding into the present moment. Basically getting very sane and very present. I reckon meditation would be good. A simple meditation...a breath meditation perhaps. It will bring you into the present moment and you will settle down a bit. I would also recommend looking at 'faster eft', which is a very sane tool which works with the mind to release/change troubling thoughts, memories and feelings. It would help you with your fear and it is very grounding. This is how it works in a nutshell.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnTwiQY2hcM&list=PLB0F36C2C7F4BB94D&index=6

I would stay off the weed. I think weed can be good for some people in some situations, but right now if I were you, I would avoid it.

Oh, and forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for all that's been happening. Its basically been an intense trip, and sounds like it has given you a taste of direct connection, which is a cool thing. Its going to be okay. When I was 18 I had an intense trip, not as intense as yours, but I was scared for a good while after. This all might be the beginning of something really good in your life, but first it would be good to calm down a bit.

I just saw your message max....great advice.

[silver]

Hi help,

What happened is just another part of your life -- like max said, it shall pass. I think you will take some of the stuff that you experienced and it will sift down and some parts will end up meaning something to you and the rest will just fade away after a while. I think you'll be okay.

And yeah, don't do anymore stuff, for now. Like I have to tell you that.

Kind wishes.

[help]

What is guided meditation? Obviously I was thrust into all of this unexpectedly and I'm new to the whole spirituality situation. Any personal experience similar might help

[help]

Also, do u think maybe going on a fast, fully cleansing my internal system may help in moving on toward the next stage? Idk what the next stage is supposed to be or how I'm supposed to get there, but I'm not enjoying this anymore.

[Deleted]

Feb 12, 2014 19:08:19 GMT -5 help said:

What is guided meditation? Obviously I was thrust into all of this unexpectedly and I'm new to the whole spirituality situation. Any personal experience similar might help

The spirituality situation is like the north american situation. Fundamentally it's a set of conceptual boundaries put in place for communication purposes. Think of it more in the philosophy realm.

Personally, growing up, I came from a situation not really into spirituality. And I still feel that way pretty much. I've been hanging out here on this forum for a while which has "spiritual" all over the place but it really still doesn't mean much to me.

When I mentioned guided meditation previously I was thinking of something very nonspiritual. Meditation may have it's roots in religious traditions but these days it has been adopted widely as a way of reducing stress, helping with focus and concentration, and just feeling better. Here are some of the nonspiritual/nonreligious variety:
marc.ucla.edu/body.cfm?id=22

When I was 'coming down' off trips (this is like 25 years ago) I found some intro buddhist stuff to be helpful. Alan Watts. You can find a lot of his stuff on youtube. Also you might like to listen or read some Eckart Tolle -- the Power of Now, and A New Earth are pretty good. The point of those philosophies is to direct your attention to just what is happening right in this moment. Thoughts happen but you don't have to be invested in them. That's easier said than done at first. So it's good to start by actively putting your attention on something physical -- like breathing or sound.

Walking outside in some natural setting might be helpful. take the earbuds out and just listen. If you have thoughts like 'this is boring' or whatever just bring your attention back to the sound and sensations of walking.

[Deleted]

Feb 12, 2014 19:27:02 GMT -5 help said:

Also, do u think maybe going on a fast, fully cleansing my internal system may help in moving on toward the next stage? Idk what the next stage is supposed to be or how I'm supposed to get there, but I'm not enjoying this anymore.

The whole 'next stage' thing is probably just a thought your mind has seized on because you had some wild new experiences when you were tripping. In other words don't worry about it. The point is to pay attention to what is happening now. Let the 'next stage' just unfold like everything else.

I don't know nuthin about fasting. But drinking water is a good thing. On the fasting angle, I'd definitely turn off the TV, mp3, smartphone. Get naked, so to speak. Pay attention to stimulation not created from another mind (for example, ME!).

On that last parenthetical note, as andrew stated, I'm no expert in any of this. Just an anonymous internet schmoe. You may want to find someone real in meatspace to talk to about this. School counselor or therapist?

[andrew]

Feb 12, 2014 19:27:02 GMT -5 help said:

Also, do u think maybe going on a fast, fully cleansing my internal system may help in moving on toward the next stage? Idk what the next stage is supposed to be or how I'm supposed to get there, but I'm not enjoying this anymore.

I would let go of worrying about the 'next stage'.... as one of the others said, its the kind of thing that our mind can grab hold of and fret over. The next stage very well may well be to just relax, get grounded, get present. That may not sound exciting or glamorous, or the kind of thing that you think you should be doing, but being present is spirituality 101. And as the others said, getting out for walks might help, or swimming/water activity of some kind also good. There are more 'glamorous' aspects to spirituality...learning about 'the matrix' and dimensions and E.T's...and I like all that stuff, but first things first....its good to chill out, and take it one step at a time.

[runstill]

"Help" you have some good advice here. BUT the number one thing you must do is not smoke pot anymore. If you do you will continue to experience extreme paranoia.
Once you have a panic attack from pot it will happen every time. Besides if your only 18 yrs old your brain is still developing.

[Deleted]

Feb 13, 2014 22:52:50 GMT -5 runstill said:

"Help" you have some good advice here. BUT the number one thing you must do is not smoke pot anymore. If you do you will continue to experience extreme paranoia.
Once you have a panic attack from pot it will happen every time. Besides if your only 18 yrs old your brain is still developing.

do you think 'do this' or 'don't do that' is really the best prescription for understanding neurosis?

[japhy]

Hello help,
you have already received a lot of good advice.
I have only two more things too add:
You can "learn" at least as much from a "bad" trip, as from a good one. (I do not recommend tripping!)
Fear can lead to strong reactions of the body and mind. Do not make a story around those reactions (like seeing them as a sign of insanity). See also max's post.

I have no experience with fasting, but I would not recommend it in your situation. From what I know it might add stress on your body/mind. I see fasting as a "hard technique" to induce altered states. Let go of the idea of cleansing something.

Take care.

[help]

Runstill was correct. Tried smoking pot with some of my old friends, ones ive felt comfortable around for years, and had a pretty scary episode. After one joint of dirt weed my heart started to beat faster and faster. In a way I couldn't control. It felt as if I was gonna have a heart attack. Ever since then I haven't smoked anymore bud, but I've been having this relentless emptiness in my heart what could this be?

[laughter]

longing drives you onward
toward what you do not know
blindly one does stumble
aching, alone and low

yet even in despair is found
a presence oh so subtle
stop and listen carefully
unfold from guarded huddle

open up your heart and mind
there is nothing to fear
the only place that longing ends
is in the now and here

you are all around you
painted all about
on every wall and window
in whisper and in shout

there is no true lonliness
it is but just a myth
embrace each silent moment
I tell you there's no risk

we see you in your solitude
there is no need for eyes
you are known and that you're loved
should come as no surprise

[andrew]

Feb 22, 2014 20:32:04 GMT -5 help said:

Runstill was correct. Tried smoking pot with some of my old friends, ones ive felt comfortable around for years, and had a pretty scary episode. After one joint of dirt weed my heart started to beat faster and faster. In a way I couldn't control. It felt as if I was gonna have a heart attack. Ever since then I haven't smoked anymore bud, but I've been having this relentless emptiness in my heart what could this be?

Could be a sign from within that what was formerly satisfying you or working for you, no longer does quite satisfy you or work for you in the way it did. Kind of like when we visit somewhere that we once liked a lot, and its just not the same any more...either we have changed, or the place has changed...something has changed.

Good decision to stay off the weed. Some walking and spending time in nature might be good for you at this time. Being in nature can help us to connect to something bigger, or more, than just us. Might help with that feeling of emptiness. There are loads of other options though.