Post by marianvq on Jul 12, 2013 8:02:48 GMT -5
THE DESCRIPTION OF A MULTI DIMENSIONAL EXPERIENCE I WENT THROUGH.
When I went to Edmonton this year, February 24th, 2013, I didn´t know exactly what to expect. I knew I had to go there. In December 2012, I received an inner call to go to Edmonton. I am living in south of Brasil so it wasn´t an easy decision to make. I didn´t want to go back to Edmonton. I didn´t want to see John de Ruiter again.
In October 27th, 2012, here in Florianopolis, my inner voice said: “End the healing of your wounds. Find clarity, healing and peace.” When something important happens, I write it down.
A few weeks later, the same inner Voice indicated that I should go to Edmonton, to talk to John de Ruiter. But I didn´t want to do that. It was not an easy decision. I said to a friend: “I don´t wish to go. But I have to go...” I bought my air ticket for February 18th.
I went to Edmonton, Feb-March 2013, and after I talked to John a few times, in the meetings and at the café I realized a few things. John didn´t want to speak about what had happened 3 years ago.
Or He knew something BUT HE DIDN´T WANT to speak about it.
He avoided. He was evasive. I got disappointed of course.
When John at the café told me: "-You didn´t need to go through that...", I realized that he just wanted to avoid the talk, he wanted to wash his hands of the situation.
When John told me: "-why don´t you let go of the experience.", he meant: we don´t need to talk about it.
I opened my eyes.
I realized De Ruiter was not transparent. I went through a multi-dimensional experience, which started when I was in a seminar in 2010, but De Ruiter avoided talking about it and its further consequences. I realized that De Ruiter is not what I thought he was.
A NARRATIVE
There will be the following aspects in this narrative:
- The description of an intense opening and a multi-dimensional experience I went through, and its consequences in my body and mind perceptions.
- To put in question the integrity of John de Ruiter as a teacher of truth based on the way he conducts himself to people and specially when someone is in need of help due to an intense opening in consciousness.
- The importance of transparency and understanding during a process of opening and expansion of consciousness. After an intense burst, the expansion exponentially continues.
- My realization that John de Ruiter is not truthful, sincere or transparent. He talks about one thing but his behaviour shows the opposite. John keeps people confused as a way of manipulating. He maneuvers and manipulates in order to control people while charging them lots of money. He is not a teacher but a business man in disguise.
I will tell my story in this narrative.
My name is Marian Vasquez. I live in Florianopolis, south of Brasil. I am Canadian. I was born in Venezuela. I have an MBA Diploma from University of Montreal. I know De Ruiter since the year 1999.
Three years ago I went through an experience of deep opening that aimed a leap in consciousness. I will tell my experience that unfolded inside as a journey that brought and is continue bringing an expansion. I will tell how I opened my eyes about who John de Ruiter really is.
I WENT TO EDMONTON, FEBRUARY 2013.
I traveled to Canada, at the end of February of this year, responding to an inner call. On February 24th I went right away to the Sunday afternoon meeting with John de Ruiter, a man who, long time ago, I used to call my Master. My trip to Edmonton happened very fast.
When I arrived to Oasis building, I was allowed to go to the questioner chair right away. I knew that, while being in the questioner chair, I had to speak fast and clear about what I wanted to express before John would take control of the conversation. Inside of me I knew I had to speak and tell my story. After all, no one really knew what had happened with Maria Vasquez, during the last 3 years. No one knew what was happening in myself when I was showing a bizarre behaviour in September 2010, in De Ruiter meeting Hall.
IN THE QUESTIONERS CHAIR, FEBRUARY 24th, 2013.
I arrived to Oasis Building on a Sunday, February 24th. I had not seen John de Ruiter for 2 and a half years.
From inside myself there was something I knew: I had to speak about what had happened, my story, what was my process of change, and then ask my questions. It is something valid to look for understanding.
I´ve said that I had to speak fast when I was in the questioner chair, because I knew that John is very skilful in deviating the conversation for his own convenience. If John doesn´t want someone to speak about certain subject, he eludes and avoids, and can be evasive. If you are in the questioner chair, John is able to erase the line of thoughts, to put your mind in blank, to change the direction and take control of the conversation. He´s done it several times. Some people call it mesmerizing. It´s not something new.
So, I sat in the chair, tried to avoid eye gazing with John and started to speak; to present my introduction and then proceed with my questions. Very soon John started to interrupt me. He wouldn´t let me speak. I said: “Let me speak, I need to speak”.
He interrupted one more time. Again I said: “-Wait, I haven´t finished...”.
As soon as I started to speak about my experience of multiple dimensions - a phenomenal experience that lasted 4 months - John interrupted me, and right then he deviated the conversation. I remember that my mind went blank and I couldn´t keep track of my line of thoughts.
John said to me: “-You have depth. You´ve always had it in you”. From then on, he led the conversation to something else. After, he said he has “X-ray vision”. But I don´t believe that. If John had X-ray vision, he would have not behaved the way he did in September 2010 (in Amsterdam and in Edmonton).
Brief, in the meeting of February 24th, 2013, I couldn´t finish and couldn´t ask my questions about the experience that took place between July and October 2010.
John de Ruiter can be very skillful in deviating the conversation when you are sitting in the questioner chair in front of him for his own convinience and he can mesmerize you.
MY QUESTIONS WERE:
The questions I had for John were:
- John, did you know what was happening in myself, in September 2010? If you saw my level of confusion, why you didn´t help me and guide me?
- John, if you saw I went through a series of intense openings within, and you saw me disoriented and unbalanced, why you didn´t take some time to talk and help me?
- If you didn´t know then, why you didn´t try to find out what I was going through?
- I went to see you in Amsterdam, September 1st 2010. You saw me unbalanced. But you didn´t talk, you didn´t accompany, you didn´t support. Instead, you avoided and kept distant.
- In Edmonton, at the café, September 2010, I went to you a couple of times, looking for orientation. Once at the café, you said: “-don´t be insistent”. Then I wrote you a little note saying: “I need support, I´m going home”. You didn´t respond. Why? What stopped you?
((Later on, after I left Edmonton (october2010) I felt much sadness and indignation because of that))
I had other questions:
- Could you talk about the experience I had?, in which I Accessed and merged with other dimensions of existence and its implications on our own consciousness ?
- How do you see the implications of that kind of experience within our own evolution? and in the big picture ?
LOOKING FOR ANSWERS
A friend of mine once told me:
"You had faith in John.
But John didn´t have faith in you"
The mayor objective of my trip to Edmonton, in March 2013, was to receive clarity and understanding from John de Ruiter about the experience I went through for about 2 years, which started during the 2010 Summer Seminar in Edmonton.
I had previously informed John about my experience and difficulties through the letters I sent him. I wrote letters as a way of venting, looking for support and understanding. I wrote him for about 2 years, since the moment I left Edmonton (October 2010). Through my letters I told him everything about the unfolding, the passages and the details of my experience. So John knew what I went through.
Why did I write to him? because at that time I thought John was the only one who could help me during that process.
However, after I talked to John in March 2013 (my last visit to Edmonton), I didn´t receive any answer or explanation. He avoided the subject. De Ruiter is able to avoid the questions and assessments from other people for his own convenience.
The truth of the matter is that De Ruiter doesn´t have the answers. He never studied, never went to school and never wrote a book. He is not a philosopher. His videos are not published in You Tube because his teachings don´t make sense. People who follow him are trying to cover the real truth with one finger.
""Our explanations must be guided by Truth.
Truth cannot be adjusted to conform
to what we want to hear""
Leonard Mlodinow
AN INNER EXPANSION ALLOWED ME TO SEE.
The experience I went through was phenomenal. I entered into another reality and experienced other planes of existence and lived dimensions parallel to this plane. It was a very intense and outstanding experience. It was profoundly lucid, alive and powerful. It was huge. The end result of such experience was an accelerated expansion of consciousness. It was a huge leap in the evolution of consciousness.
Various energies, foreign to this world, were manifesting from within, day after day, during 4 months in a row, from July to October 2010.
Later on, after a long research, I understood that lots of pain and difficulties could´ve been avoided if John de Ruiter would have helped me, during the first period when I presented confusion.
I saw and experienced the existence of other dimensions or planes, each one with particular features, sounds and speed. For a period of time I was very unbalanced. That is something normal after an intense opening, according to the stories of other people and spiritual teachers who experienced something similar. Our senses are not designed or attuned to function in a dimension that is beyond this one. Our senses can not comprehend a space in which light, energy and matter behave in a different pattern.
It takes time for the experience to sink and be integrated. Then clarity and understanding arises.
"The deeper you go, and the wider you expand,
the clearer you can see, and the better you can understand"
When I found my balance, I found myself gaining clarity.
De Ruiter is not there to help someone who is rapidly opening and expanding, but to protect his profitable business. His lack of support (a talk, an empathy, a guidance) provoked the appearance of confusion, depression and dark spaces inside of me, which later on turned into big challenges and difficulties. His attitude was not based on equality, fairness or unconditional love.
What If John would have talked openly and sincerely about the multi-dimensional experience I went through in july 2010..?
Is it more important to John to keep happy those who pull the strings (those who pay big money) than to validate and talk about a deep experience that happened in myself?
I will continue writing this blog with the certainty of what I´m talking about. I went through the experience alone. I recovered alone. Currently I´m doing a research in order to gain more understanding based on the studies of physics and quantum theory. That is the only way I can get real understanding of what I experienced.
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(I will tell more about my inner experience later on in this blog, in full detail)
""Humans study science because we have an urge
to know how our lives fit into
the greater scheme of the Universe.
The answers are only edifying if they are true"".
Leonard Mlodinow
JOHN de RUITER AVOIDS SPEAKING.
I wonder: What is a teacher of Truth for?
Isn´t supposed to be someone who can offer guidance and explanations?
Why didn´t John want to speak about an expansive experience that happened in myself?
The real question now is: What is the actual intention of John? Why he doesn´t help someone who is in need of assistance? Why he doens´t offer a full understanding? Why he is evasive?
If John makes a mistake, why he doesn´t appologize?
JOHN de Ruiter chooses to be unclear and puzzling. He creates an enigma around it. You find yourself trying to guess riddles.
John talks about "what you know"...., so sometimes you think you know, but you don´t.
I thought John was the only one I could talk to about dimensions.
Once at the cafe (March2013), John said: "- let go of the experience...".
It was a way of avoiding the subject.
John also said that I was confusing two flows, but he never explained what he meant by that.
Understanding the experience is important and valid. Within this experience many levels were moved and manifested. It was transformative. The experience I went through unleashed a process of change and expansion from within. It also became a source of further deepening and widening. I believe it has a higher purpose.
I wanted to talk about what I experienced. But John didn´t speak. Why?
What if someone who has invested lots of money in John de Ruiter and the organization finds out that a latino-american woman (myself) accessed and embodied higher levels of reality? And that she lived the openning of various worlds within?
John permanently changed the course of our conversation, March2013. I saw the lack of transparency. I left Edmonton, came back home and put all the pieces together.
I put in question the authenticity and cleanness of John´s intentions. Is he actually there to help and support other people? Or is he after protecting his own economic interests?
John de Ruiter is not an embodiment of truth. His actions show evasiveness, lack of response, manipulation and ambiguity. It is shown that his main intention is to keep the control, the power and his wealth.
JOHN AFFIRMS HE HAS X-RAY VISION
I am able to see when someone is happy or depressed. I can see the level of energy in someone, if the level of energy is high and bright or low, or depressed. Now imagine the capacity of John de Ruiter of seeing the level of energy arising in someone, after working with people for more than 25 years. John is able to see if the person is opening, or closing or contracting. He can see the kind of energy is unfolding in a person.
So, John saw when a huge amount of energy was unfolding in me, as a result of accessing to the Absolute (july-2010). I know John saw an opening and a brightness in me. John de Ruiter knows very well that after an intense big opening there comes a state of vulnerability, fragility and sometimes even confusion. The role of a person like De Ruiter should be to care for the people who open, slowly or fast, and offer support and clarity. I wrote many letters to him. He never responded.
Does John have an X-ray vision? If so, why he didn´t help me to clarify things in my mind when I was confused in the year 2000? And then, later on, why he didn´t give me assistance and guidance when I was needing it in Sept-2010, and during the following 12 months?
Brief, After accessing a space of the absolute, John saw I was getting into serious imbalance but he never called me or helped me. He kept distant and ignoring. De Ruiter knew I was about to fall in a cliff and he turned his back on me. He was negligent and selfish.
In March2013, when I went to see him in Edmonton, his attitude was of washing his hands of the situation and avoiding the subject.
As a guide, a teacher or a guru, John is not trust worthy.
""The first principle is that you
must not fool yourself --and you are the easiest to fool""
Physicist Richard Feynman.
THE ROLE OF A SPIRITUAL TEACHER, MASTER OR GURU.
In a DVD interview, Irina Tweedie, a Russian teacher who was a disciple of a Sufi Master in India says, I quote:
“”When higher experiences start to happen they must be explained. If you touch something which for you is super-natural, the mind can get very confused. I give you an example: If you go to unknown land you need a guide. Otherwise you can get lost. Spiritual life can be very puzzling, like being in a forest or a desert.
There are many planes of existence. When you have a higher and deeper experience (which doesn´t take place in the physical body), then you start meeting different entities or spirits, that could be good or bad (of light or of darkness). Then you need a teacher who knows these things, to guide you, to tell you for instance: that is a good entity, or is not a good entity. Because there are entities that could deceive you, misguide you and confuse you very much.
When you are advancing, or in better words, expanding, and going through deeper openings, you need a teacher to help you distinguish what is a good entity from what is not. Otherwise it can be very confusing and dangerous, because our mind can not function in those deeper planes. The guidance and instructions are important. The level of the instruction will be matching the level of the experience for the person.””
Irina Tweedie
THE FRAGILITY AFTER A DEEP OPENING
After a deep opening, a person goes through fragility and vulnerability. The individual could also experience an accessing into another space, or reality, the way it was mentioned just before. The mind might not be able to handle it. The mind is not designed to function in those higher levels. If the Teacher or the Guide doesn´t provide proper guidance and support (based on pure intentions), it can affect negatively the process of the opening and it can compromise the safety of that person.
If the intentions are pure, the Teacher can then provide help and support within the frame of love, compassion, clarity and transparency. The role of the teacher should be to help the person clarify his or her mind, and therefore keep the person safe, on the right track.
What happened to me was the lack of proper guidance from John, and that caused much suffering, confusion, long periods of darkness and lose. I also went through suicidal thoughts and physical pains.
INTENTION IS IMPORTANT
Intention means the purpose or attitude towards the effect of one´s actions or conduct.
If the Teacher has a tiny bit of unclean intention, then the process of openness of a person can get deviated compromising the safety and the right development of the individual.
Thoughts are energy. Intention is energy. When the intention is unclean, the energy that is produced attracts the entities that match that energy. The kind of intention attracts the entities that match that kind of energy.
We know that light, love, honesty, compassion, generosity and transparency belong to the same frame of energy.
An unclean intention can match energies of greed, manipulation, selfishness, desire for power and vampirism.
The lack of clean intentions in a powerful individual like John, can put someone in danger after an intense opening due to deep confusion in his or her mind. Without the proper guidance from a teacher or guru, dark and or bad entities can take over inside the space that was opened up and then misguide the person even to the point of commiting suicide. The deeper the opening, the stronger are the entities that can take over ( it is obvious John knows this).
That is why I said: the levels of darkness I went through put me over the edge and close to acts leading to suicide many times. John knew it from my letters I wrote him. But he never responded. He didn´t care.
During 2012 and until now, the levels inside of me have been integrated and an equilibrium was reached inside. So now I´m fine and with proper judgment to see the big picture.
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From here on, I will describe the experience I went through.
JANUARY 2010: A CALL TO GO TO EDMONTON
I was living in the city of Florianopolis, south of Brasil. In January 2010, I received an inner call, or an inner invitation (a knowing) to go to Edmonton, to attend the Summer Seminar in June 2010. I considered to follow that inner call. I bought my air-ticket and attended the 2010 Summer Seminar.
When I arrived to Edmonton, June 16, 2010, I stayed in Ahuva´s house. It had been eight years I didn´t see John de Ruiter. It was then when I saw the new building.
THE FIRST PART: SUMMER SEMINAR JUNE 2010:
A VORTEX WAS ACTIVATED .
As soon as I attended to the meetings with John, in June 2010, I noticed that, while I was staring at John, my connection was easier, wider and powerful. I couldn´t believe what my eyes were seeing. It was unspeakably beautiful. I was seeing and diving into a golden light, like a tunnel. I knew it was the Absolute. There was not a single thought in my mind. My mind was totally silent.
I was drinking and diving into a space that was pure, luminous and silent. I was seeing and diving into the Source: a space of absolute silence and pure golden light. At the end of each meeting, I would leave the Hall in a high blissful state, and my body was feeling light and sparkling. It was awesome. Connecting, diving and merging, was the most exquisite experience I ever had with the Light. It was easy, natural, effortless, from the beginning to the end of each meeting, day after day, during 3 weeks, and until the end of the 2010seminar. After each meeting I was feeling and seeing plenty of light inside. At night I would hear the effervescent sound of the cosmos.
During that seminar 2010, I, as awareness, was merging with a pure expanding tunnel of golden light. Everything familiar would disappear in front of my eyes, even the image of John.
(FUSION: The merging of different elements into a union.)
As soon as I connected to John in each meeting, it was as if a VEIL was lifted and a soft golden space of absolute silence opened up in front of my eyes. What was happening? Later on I understood that I was accessing another space, a deeper space. I accessed that space, every meeting, day after day for 3 weeks.
(In March 2013, John told me: “-you can access”. That confirmed what I knew. It confirmed my knowing. I was calling it "merging with a foreign reality").
After accessing so many times, I was taken over, I had entered in a lucid vivid space, I was captured by a force that was higher and more powerful than myself. I was walking into the unknown. I was walking into the unseen.
Some scientists affirm that, in order to enter into a Portal to access another dimension, a huge amount of energy is needed.
I quote:
“Powerful energy lines converge in one point and create a space-time vortex to another dimension”...
“-Extreme amount of power can trigger the opening of other dimensions”… (The Universe series, National Geographic).
Scientists also say: “When someone access an activated vortex of energy, the perception of space and the tracking of time is affected. The space-time fabric is bended. At one point, the person could experience time as eternity. The person could also perceive an acceleration of events, and make contact with spaces that are parallel to this one. Disorientation and sleep deprivation could also happen”.
In the seminar, I kept accessing that awesome golden light tunnel, because it was there, inviting me to do so. It was available for me to access. It was opening in front of my eyes. It was the most delightful experience I ever had. I trusted. I followed.
I thought that John de Ruiter knew what I was seeing. I thought he was participating in it. I thought John was orchestrating the event. But I was wrong. He didn´t. I accessed only myself, and I went through the rest of the experience alone.
In September 2010, 2 months after the Intense Accessing into the Absolute, De Ruiter saw my imbalance in the Oasis building, in Edmonton. Unfortunately for me, John didn´t take any time to find out what was happening inside of me or guide me.
...............................................
I will continue describing the event of merging into the vortex. While connecting, and after the image of John would disappear in front of my eyes, there appeared in the light a beautiful face looking straight to me, and then another face, and then another face. The faces would appear so clearly, one after the other, as if I was staring at them on the screen of a movie theater. Many faces showed during my staring. I knew those faces were beings, showing themselves in the light, to convey something, and to work with me, in bringing a higher level of energy into this plane. Faces in the form of light were merging with me one after the other. They were Beings of light. The faces were so vivid and sharp. It was a Cosmic event. It was something phenomenal.
The amount of energy I was receiving was incredible. I also know that no one else in John´s group had gone through that kind of deep experience. The implications for this kind of phenomenal experience are huge (at that time I didn´t know what the implications were. That´s why I said I was walking into unknown land..!).
I didn´t talk about it to anyone in the july-2010 summer seminar. I felt I didn´t need to. I knew to keep it for myself. I kept it as a divine treasure.
I thought John de Ruiter knew what was happening in that seminar, because the amount of energy manifested in that seminar was huge and the silence was absolute-nothing would move, not even a fly or a dust. When I was connecting to the space, the amount of energy produced was huge. I assumed he knew what was happening, but he didn´t.
Later on, for the following 14 months, John got to know everything that I experienced and all I went through from the letters I sent him. He never took the time to respond. He kept silent.
That was the reason of my feelings of sadness, frustration and betrayal towards John, during those subsequent months.
When an experience like that takes place (an intense merging with higher kind of energies), the mind usually gets temporarily confused and unbalanced. It´s normal. Once I regained stability and strength, I went to Edmonton (March2013; 28 months later).
THE SECOND PART OF THE EXPERIENCE: THE OPENING OF MANY LEVELS WITHIN.
After the accessing, and when the Summer Seminar ended (july 12,2010), I embarked on an amazing journey of splendor, wonders, beauty and high powerful energy. I was captured. I had entered into another reality, parallel to this one. I entered into a Portal. From then on, different worlds opened up inside of me, taking me through an intense journey of openings and merging. Everything was accelerated. It was Alice falling all the way through the rabbit hole into wonderland. It was Neo experiencing The Matrix and seeing through. It lasted almost four months (July-October 2010).
As I heard indirectly from John de Ruiter once: “-Reality was stretched ...”. (March2013 ).
I knew it was something phenomenal, as if I had passed through a wormhole (a wormhole in physics is a theoretical passageway in space between a black hole and a white hole).
De Ruiter talks about the opening of different levels of reality, and, subsequently, the integration of them in you as awareness. That is what I was seeing:: the opening of deeper and higher levels.
First you experience the opening of the levels. Then, the integration has to happen. After the integration, there comes the understanding. The levels become alive in you. You merge with different kinds of energy: different frequencies, different densities, different tones. You become them, and they become you. Within the access there is also merging, and then manifestations. During periods of time, I didn´t need to sleep, or I didn´t need to eat. Sometimes, I experienced one day as eternity: time was experienced at different rates.
Dimensions are also called: realms, planes or levels.
There are levels of the Earth: telluric levels, energies from the Earth. They are energies or beings that have been in the Earth for millions of years, or from ancient times.
There are levels of the evil: Principalities of Evil, like demons and other sorts.
There are levels of the dead ones who are in spirit, or souls. Levels of our ancestors.
There are levels of the Heaven: Beings of light, Archangels, the Holy Spirit and Christ consciousness. And, finally, there is a Cosmic Level. There is a level that pertains to the Inter-galactic space and the Cosmos. In my experience, these two last levels were benevolent and protective.
There are spaces that are bright and benevolent. Others are full of bewilderment, beauty and joy. Other spaces are mysterious and obscure. Within the level of the inter-stelar space or the Cosmos, lies a higher kind of inteligence with its own set of laws.
The amount of energy I was receiving was incredible. Within an altered state of consciousness I was being guided and directed. When I was experiencing the opening of different levels, I was not afraid. I was perplexed, I was fascinated, I was in a state of awe. I´ve heard that some people call this kind of experience as being abducted. In any case, it is difficult to put a fix label on it.
The fear came weeks later in my body and mind, because of the uncertainty of my situation. The fear that arose weeks later (Nov-2010 and after) had to do with not knowing what will happen to me, and where I was going to end up. (intuitively, there was perhaps a tiny knowing that down the road I was going to fall apart in pieces....)
Obviously, after accelerated openings, I was disoriented, unbalanced and confused in many ways - for about 6 months or more. The brain tries to make sense of it all, but it can´t. The mind tries to understand, but for a while it´s not able to do so. I didn´t lose my sanity , though it looked like I did for a while. A friend of mine once said: "-You went in and you came out. That was a miracle". In a fascinated way, I was sustained, held and protected. I always felt a protective presence or force around me. That benevolent force eventually helped me and brought me back to balance and grounding. I could say: God rescued me.
"Quantum physics theoretically proves
the existence of parallel Universes""
THE THIRD PART: THE FALL, DEATH AND INTEGRATION.
The intense opening stopped. There were not more beings or merging. Gradually, the flow of high energy diminished in the beginning of October 2010. I was in Costa Rica. There came a third phase: the integration of the whole.
All that was opened up, and all that was stretched out, had to be integrated.
But, before the integration, the brokenness happened. Before the integration, it came the worst of the worst.
After a very bright day (of 4 months), there came a very long dark night (of many months).
""As a new space opens up within,
immediately attracts certain forces of darkness.
We´ve forgotten how to work with the light,
just so we´ve forgotten how to work with the darkness""
Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee
- THE FALL
After the high-energy experience stopped, there came a deep fall and a subsequent brake of structures. You start to feel that you are falling or dropping under a strong force of gravity.
I as awareness experienced something like this: after the fusion of intense energies stopped, the fuel ends and then you are drawn (sucked) into a small space of intense density and heaviness which is experienced in you as a strong oscillation of high pressure and low pressure. This is caused by a disequilibrium between forces. It´s physics.
In other words, after an accelerated expansion (stretching in every direction), there comes a contraction. Newton´s 3rd law says: "every action has an equal opposite reaction". After a force there is a counterforce. It takes time to reach the point of equilibrium again.
- DEATH
From the month of Nov2010, everything in myself started to collapse. My structures slowly broke, snapped, cracked and fell apart. I became undone. It was the worst of the worst: pain, despair, weakness, depression, solitude, lack of energy, fatigue. I would feel the sensation of death in my body. I would feel the smell of the decay. There were days I couldn´t even go out.
Sometimes there was such a big pressure, such much discomfort, pain, despair, that I couldn´t bear it anymore.
I wasn´t able to work in a regular job. I had to rest lots.
For a long while I felt I was in a Limbo. Nothing moved inside. No one else could ever understand what was happening inside. It was tremendously unconfortable.
The physical disconforts happened in oscilations: as waves, within periods of 7 to 15 days.
Sometimes I could see a glimpse of what was happening. Other times I couldn´t see anything. I knew I had to rest and wait. It was a long waiting time. At times it felt like everything was dead, absorbed and paralized.
I went to live in Victoria, BC. in Vancouver Island where -I found out later on- there are powerful healing energy lines. For many weeks I went for hikes in the forests, and went for therapy, which slowly brought grounding and balance. Also a few good friends were around for assistance.
In an attempt to understand what happened, I started to study physics.
In a book I read the following: ""The equations of general relativity tell us that if there is more than a certain critical amount of matter and energy per unit volume in the universe, space will curl up into a spherelike shape, and eventually collapse upon itself. If there is less than this critical density, space will curve outward like a saddle".
Consciousness is a space and responds to the laws of physics. It is in the study of modern physics and quantum theory that I am finding more and more answers.
- INTEGRATION
After many weeks of feelings of sickness, lack of energy and depression, integration started to happen. There were many comings and goings of intense pressure and physical discomfort. The pressure happened in different levels: in the body, the emotions, the mind. It took more than one year to be restructured. During the first part of 2012, a different quality of energy started to flow outwards from within, this time from a deeper place and with a higher intensity. It started with the feeling of a vibrating energy boiling inside. Lots of heat and lots of vibration started to irradiate leaving my body and head with many disconforts like swallen joints and headaches.
After the experience settled and sinked, the mind reaches equilibrium together with the whole and then it serves to look for comprehension.
Following the process of inner integration, which consists in attaining a point of equilibrium within the space of consciousness, consciousness continues to expand and integrate different spaces simultaneously. When this point of equilibrium is reached (which takes time), the mind starts to discern and understand more deeply what is happening. The expansion and the integration of the space that had expanded (within consciousness), now they both happen simultaneouly. There is an equilibrium between the two forces. And currently both processes don´t create as much disconfort.
These two movements (expansion and integration, moving out and moving in as an undulation) are permanently happening in outer space. I experience and observe these movements within myself.
- THE MIND
During an intense multi-dimensional experience like the one I lived, the mind is temporarily not able to grasp it. Later on, I understood that the mind is not able to cope with so much light and information at once. I give you a peculiar example: in India, when someone gets temporarily unbalanced, people say that person "is intoxicated with God".
(After I asked, John himself confirmed to me: “the mind also gets integrated”, which means it reaches again a point of equilibrium).
The mind then stops being an obstacle and it becomes an ally.
Thanks to my brain and my mind I can think, analize and write. I am also looking for the understanding of the big picture.
RECOVERY AND REGAINING STABILITY (2012-2013)
Restructuring had to happen first. Then the energy from the Source came back up to fill up the cup. But, this time, with a different quality.
The energy that started to emerge from within myself, since the first quarter of last year (2012), is very strong. It is a burning kind of energy.
The bursts of energy from within started as oscillations that happened between the range of 5 to 15 days. The energy bursts create a feeling of being cooked in a pressure cooker. It creates a feeling similar to being expanding, as a balloon is being inflated. These movements of energy (or forces) used to create severe discomforts and physical pain in the past, but not anymore. My body and head were always trying to compensate and adapt to the intense bursts of energy that were occurring inside my body. Presently the discomforts have lessened and the oscillations are less extreme.
The vibration of energy from inside, which before was oscillating between extreme points (higher and lower intensity of vibration), is now more continuous, more permanent.
The manifestation of energy from within and the arising of understanding are two sides of the same coin. They are connected. You can´t have one without having the other.
What I was accessing into (July2010) has been integrated and now IT lives inside, and IT manifests through out my body in the form of a more continuous vibration. I am being IT. The experience I went through unleashed a process- a movement- that moves from within.
UNDERSTANDING THE EXPERIENCE: STUDIES ON CONSCIOUSNESS.
When I started to feel better, more recovered and with more energy, I started to look for knowledge and understanding.
During the last year, I´ve been researching. I read the work of spiritual teachers like: Eckhart Tolle, Irina Tweedie, George Gurdjieff, Deepak Chopra and others.
Then I started to read various studies on Consciousness.
I also started to read about Cosmology and Quantum physics.
I´m studying the work of physicists like: John Hagelin, Amit Goswami, David Icke and Leonard Mlodinow.
For instance, Amit Goswami is a theoretical nuclear physicist who writes about the relationship between quantum physics and mystical traditions, and supports a model of reality that suggests the physical universe is created by consciousness. His work is profound. His last books are called Quantum Activist, and A Vissionary Window.
John Hagelin is an American particle physicist who has conducted research into the Unified Field Theory and consciousness.
Eckhart Tolle, the author of The Power of Now and A New Earth, is listed as the most spiritually influential person in the world.
………….......................
""Though the question
of how consciousness arises remains a puzzle,
we have plenty of evidence that
consciousness functions according to physical law""
Leonard Mldinow
PHYSICS AND CONSCIOUSNESS
There are experiences within consciousness that can only be understood through the study of physics. Consciousness is not a thing, it is a space filled with energy. There is not such thing as empty space.
After an abrupt expansion, there is a contraction.
After an explosion, there comes an implosion.
The Space-time fabric is elastic, it can be bended. It also has Mass. So if you throw out a big amount of light (like radiation or nuclear fusion) its mass keeps it moving out due to inertia, but in doing so it leaves a low pressure vacated area that must be refilled. So when the high energy stops, it all gets sucked back in again. In fact, explosions and implosions oscillate for a time until an equilibrium is reached again. During the oscillations, there comes higher pressure and lower pressure.
An expansion brings lower pressure (feeling of lightness). A contraction brings higher pressure (feeling of pressure).
These changes of pressure (oscillations of high and low density) that take place in the space of consciousness, after a massive expansion, were the cause of many physical discomforts and many feelings of sickness in my body.
A kind of implosion is also called a gravitational collapse in astro-physics. A gravitational collapse is a phenomena that is studied in order to understand the origin of starts and black holes in the cosmos. Reading about cosmology and astro-physics allows me to grasp more understanding.
Gravitational collapse is the inward fall of a body due to the influence of its own gravity. In any stable body, this gravitational force is counterbalanced by the internal pressure of the body, in the opposite direction to the force of gravity (gravity being generally orientated to the center of mass). If the inwards pointing gravitational force, however, is stronger than the total combination of the outward pointing forces, the equilibrium becomes unbalanced and a collapse occurs until the internal pressure increases above that of the gravitational force and an equilibrium is once again attained.
Because gravity is comparatively weak compared to other fundamental forces, gravitational collapse is usually associated with very massive bodies or collections of bodies, such as stars (including collapsed stars such as supernovae, neutron stars and black holes) and massive collections of stars such as globular clusters and galaxies.
Gravitational collapse is at the heart of structure formation in the universe. An initial smooth distribution of matter will eventually collapse and cause a hierarchy of structures, such as clusters of galaxies, stellar groups, stars and planets. For example, a star is born through the gradual gravitational collapse of a cloud of interstellar matter. The compression caused by the collapse raises the temperature until nuclear fuel reignites in the center of the star and the collapse comes to a halt. The thermal pressure gradient (leading to expansion) compensates the gravity (leading to compression) and a star is in dynamical equilibrium between these two forces.” (source: Wikipedia)
In the studies of Cosmology we find the following statements :
"The Universe has a pulse. It is in a continuous movement of fluctuations, originated in the Big Bang."
“Whatever happens in the Human form it is reflected in the Universe. These are universal movements. What happens in the microcosms also happens in the macrocosms. As it is above, so is bellow.”
“The Universe wants to know itself through the eyes of the observer.”
There is a profound meaning in the experience. The experience I went through unleashed a process in which a different kind of energy is manifesting from within.
I´m continuously finding interesting answers in the further studies of quantum physics, cosmological phenomena and consciousness.
In the theory of Special Relativity Einstein showed us that as you get closer to light speed, bizarre distortions take place, time beats slower, space contracts and you get heavier. The energy of motion has turned into making you heavier.
A CONFUSION AROUND JOHN, IN 2000-2001.
During the year 2000, many signs and events suggested to me that John and I were going to have a closer relationship. I was having an intense teacher-follower relationship with John, energetically speaking. It was clear, tangible and powerful, at least for me. For a while, during those times, I was confused. I remained confused for some time in 2000. John knew what was running in my mind from my notes and letters. Twice I wrote a little note asking him to have a talk, but he never responded. He didn´t help me to relieve my confusion in those old times (year 2000).
And Later on, in September 2010, he didn´t offer any help either in bringing orientation or clarity. That was negligent and selfish on his part. John de Ruiter is able to see when someone is going through feelings of love, or attachment, confusion or instability. But he doesn´t bring any clarity. That is why I say that John preferes to keep the confusion than to clarify a situation.
.........................................................................................................
JOHN SAYS: "-YOU DON´T NEED TO UNDERSTAND".
It was very good I went to Edmonton this year, February 2013, because It allowed me to see and clarify things. I could see John for who he really is. I opened my eyes.
It was good to de-mystify the image of John and let him go.
The intention behind the action is everything. I question the real intention of John when he says that you don´t need to understand.
What is the real intention of John when he puts you down and under estimates your capacity of thinking and understanding?
What is the real intention when he says you always have self importance?
Is he actually taking away your own power to discern what is true from what is not?
People around him are mesmerized so they can´t see what he is really doing.
Not understanding can be dangerous. When a teacher (or guru) refuses to guide, to responde or participate, it can compromise the safety of that person, or it can produce unnecessary pain.
Some leaders of this world try to keep their people blind, submitted and subjugated, so the leader can have the control.
John is not there to help or respect other people, but to serve only his own interests. John is extremely self-centered and selfish. And he is very good at controlling people to make them submit to him.
It was good to let go and move on.
At the end, I had to figure it all out by myself.
BE WARY
Working with powerful energies and forces can be very risky and dangerous. John de Ruiter is able to mesmerize, manipulate the mind and play with the psichology of the people. He can be evasive and confusing.
I wonder if he under estimates the capacity of understanding of some people. Or perhaps he didn´t want to recognize his negligence in the process. Or perhaps he wanted to invalidate the experience. Or perhaps he wanted to create a hindrance, preventing me from seeing and understanding.
I am not the only one who have realized this. Other people have arrived to a similar conclusion.
There are things that John might know but doesn´t want to share or speak about.
De Ruiter keeps making riddles, hiding things, creating ambiguity, and playing with words.
He talks to people about self-importance to take away people´s power of reason and discernment.
It took some time to analize, investigate and research to then arrive to these conclusions.
It is noticeable that some people in John´s group in Edmonton can perceive that John likes to keep secrecy, hidden information, and lack of clarity. It is also known that he communicates more with a minor group of close friends.
People have become aware that John shows partiality and favoritism. Sometimes he also creates puzzles and confusion. That could be translated into lack of cleanness and or discrimination. All of this could be a way of control.
THE LACK OF RESPONSE FROM JOHN.
I experienced an intense opening inside myself in which I merged with a space of pure consciousness. After that, there came a deep vulnerability and fragility in myself. John de Ruiter saw that, but he didn´t help me to relieve my confusion and imbalance (July-September2010). He didn´t approach to talk, to explain or to clarify. He left me on my own. Down the road, and during the passage of darkness inside, that provoked great suffering, challenges and difficulties.
He knows that, but he will never accept his negligence.
After that, when I went to see him in March 2013, again he was evasive, devious and tried to confuse me.
In my letters I wrote to him: "-You betrayed my Trust".
DEFINITION OF DEVIOUS
- not straightforward; shifty.
- departing from a correct way.
-deviating from the straight course.
- away from a main road or course.
-distant or removed.
-not sincere, deceitful.
THE TEACHINGS (AN ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM).
John de Ruiter is not a Master. He can be a channel of powerful energies but his teachings are poor and unclear. He is ambivalent. He is evasive when you want to talk about Moral issues or morality.
There is something else. His teachings are not based on how the world of energy and physics work, and not based in the scientific studies of consciousness.
He doesn´t know about the nature of consciousness related with modern physics.
The deficit and the poorness of John´s teachings and the inadequacy of his philosophy are so obvious that the following idiomatic expression applies: There is an "Elephant in the room". In other words, there is an obvious truth that is either being ignored or going unaddressed. The idiomatic expression also applies to an obvious problem or risk no one wants to discuss (the integrity and truthfulness of John). The term refers to a question or controversial issue which is obvious to everyone who knows about the situation, but which is deliberately ignored because to do otherwise would cause great embarrassment, or trigger arguments or is simply taboo.
TODAY
Human consciousness finally raised from a deeper place, to reunite with the Consciousness of Being as one. From nothingness, it raised from the deep to a higher position. This is what Jesus calls resuscitate. I, Marian Vasquez, was raised from the dead. I resuscitated.
I am doing good these days. I have strength, lots of energy and peace. I carry a wider vision about the world, life and existence.
A strong force is permanently emerging and expanding, as an energy in my head and my body. There is a sense of presence and direct connection to the Source. The direct development with source continues.
This narrative is the product of my inquiry, research, analisis and investigation based on my own experience. The mind is an instrument that allow us to understand.
I have written this narrative to offer help and insight to those who could benefit from it.
Marian Vasquez
Email: marianinjaco@hotmail.com
Skype: marianvasquez11
When I went to Edmonton this year, February 24th, 2013, I didn´t know exactly what to expect. I knew I had to go there. In December 2012, I received an inner call to go to Edmonton. I am living in south of Brasil so it wasn´t an easy decision to make. I didn´t want to go back to Edmonton. I didn´t want to see John de Ruiter again.
In October 27th, 2012, here in Florianopolis, my inner voice said: “End the healing of your wounds. Find clarity, healing and peace.” When something important happens, I write it down.
A few weeks later, the same inner Voice indicated that I should go to Edmonton, to talk to John de Ruiter. But I didn´t want to do that. It was not an easy decision. I said to a friend: “I don´t wish to go. But I have to go...” I bought my air ticket for February 18th.
I went to Edmonton, Feb-March 2013, and after I talked to John a few times, in the meetings and at the café I realized a few things. John didn´t want to speak about what had happened 3 years ago.
Or He knew something BUT HE DIDN´T WANT to speak about it.
He avoided. He was evasive. I got disappointed of course.
When John at the café told me: "-You didn´t need to go through that...", I realized that he just wanted to avoid the talk, he wanted to wash his hands of the situation.
When John told me: "-why don´t you let go of the experience.", he meant: we don´t need to talk about it.
I opened my eyes.
I realized De Ruiter was not transparent. I went through a multi-dimensional experience, which started when I was in a seminar in 2010, but De Ruiter avoided talking about it and its further consequences. I realized that De Ruiter is not what I thought he was.
A NARRATIVE
There will be the following aspects in this narrative:
- The description of an intense opening and a multi-dimensional experience I went through, and its consequences in my body and mind perceptions.
- To put in question the integrity of John de Ruiter as a teacher of truth based on the way he conducts himself to people and specially when someone is in need of help due to an intense opening in consciousness.
- The importance of transparency and understanding during a process of opening and expansion of consciousness. After an intense burst, the expansion exponentially continues.
- My realization that John de Ruiter is not truthful, sincere or transparent. He talks about one thing but his behaviour shows the opposite. John keeps people confused as a way of manipulating. He maneuvers and manipulates in order to control people while charging them lots of money. He is not a teacher but a business man in disguise.
I will tell my story in this narrative.
My name is Marian Vasquez. I live in Florianopolis, south of Brasil. I am Canadian. I was born in Venezuela. I have an MBA Diploma from University of Montreal. I know De Ruiter since the year 1999.
Three years ago I went through an experience of deep opening that aimed a leap in consciousness. I will tell my experience that unfolded inside as a journey that brought and is continue bringing an expansion. I will tell how I opened my eyes about who John de Ruiter really is.
I WENT TO EDMONTON, FEBRUARY 2013.
I traveled to Canada, at the end of February of this year, responding to an inner call. On February 24th I went right away to the Sunday afternoon meeting with John de Ruiter, a man who, long time ago, I used to call my Master. My trip to Edmonton happened very fast.
When I arrived to Oasis building, I was allowed to go to the questioner chair right away. I knew that, while being in the questioner chair, I had to speak fast and clear about what I wanted to express before John would take control of the conversation. Inside of me I knew I had to speak and tell my story. After all, no one really knew what had happened with Maria Vasquez, during the last 3 years. No one knew what was happening in myself when I was showing a bizarre behaviour in September 2010, in De Ruiter meeting Hall.
IN THE QUESTIONERS CHAIR, FEBRUARY 24th, 2013.
I arrived to Oasis Building on a Sunday, February 24th. I had not seen John de Ruiter for 2 and a half years.
From inside myself there was something I knew: I had to speak about what had happened, my story, what was my process of change, and then ask my questions. It is something valid to look for understanding.
I´ve said that I had to speak fast when I was in the questioner chair, because I knew that John is very skilful in deviating the conversation for his own convenience. If John doesn´t want someone to speak about certain subject, he eludes and avoids, and can be evasive. If you are in the questioner chair, John is able to erase the line of thoughts, to put your mind in blank, to change the direction and take control of the conversation. He´s done it several times. Some people call it mesmerizing. It´s not something new.
So, I sat in the chair, tried to avoid eye gazing with John and started to speak; to present my introduction and then proceed with my questions. Very soon John started to interrupt me. He wouldn´t let me speak. I said: “Let me speak, I need to speak”.
He interrupted one more time. Again I said: “-Wait, I haven´t finished...”.
As soon as I started to speak about my experience of multiple dimensions - a phenomenal experience that lasted 4 months - John interrupted me, and right then he deviated the conversation. I remember that my mind went blank and I couldn´t keep track of my line of thoughts.
John said to me: “-You have depth. You´ve always had it in you”. From then on, he led the conversation to something else. After, he said he has “X-ray vision”. But I don´t believe that. If John had X-ray vision, he would have not behaved the way he did in September 2010 (in Amsterdam and in Edmonton).
Brief, in the meeting of February 24th, 2013, I couldn´t finish and couldn´t ask my questions about the experience that took place between July and October 2010.
John de Ruiter can be very skillful in deviating the conversation when you are sitting in the questioner chair in front of him for his own convinience and he can mesmerize you.
MY QUESTIONS WERE:
The questions I had for John were:
- John, did you know what was happening in myself, in September 2010? If you saw my level of confusion, why you didn´t help me and guide me?
- John, if you saw I went through a series of intense openings within, and you saw me disoriented and unbalanced, why you didn´t take some time to talk and help me?
- If you didn´t know then, why you didn´t try to find out what I was going through?
- I went to see you in Amsterdam, September 1st 2010. You saw me unbalanced. But you didn´t talk, you didn´t accompany, you didn´t support. Instead, you avoided and kept distant.
- In Edmonton, at the café, September 2010, I went to you a couple of times, looking for orientation. Once at the café, you said: “-don´t be insistent”. Then I wrote you a little note saying: “I need support, I´m going home”. You didn´t respond. Why? What stopped you?
((Later on, after I left Edmonton (october2010) I felt much sadness and indignation because of that))
I had other questions:
- Could you talk about the experience I had?, in which I Accessed and merged with other dimensions of existence and its implications on our own consciousness ?
- How do you see the implications of that kind of experience within our own evolution? and in the big picture ?
LOOKING FOR ANSWERS
A friend of mine once told me:
"You had faith in John.
But John didn´t have faith in you"
The mayor objective of my trip to Edmonton, in March 2013, was to receive clarity and understanding from John de Ruiter about the experience I went through for about 2 years, which started during the 2010 Summer Seminar in Edmonton.
I had previously informed John about my experience and difficulties through the letters I sent him. I wrote letters as a way of venting, looking for support and understanding. I wrote him for about 2 years, since the moment I left Edmonton (October 2010). Through my letters I told him everything about the unfolding, the passages and the details of my experience. So John knew what I went through.
Why did I write to him? because at that time I thought John was the only one who could help me during that process.
However, after I talked to John in March 2013 (my last visit to Edmonton), I didn´t receive any answer or explanation. He avoided the subject. De Ruiter is able to avoid the questions and assessments from other people for his own convenience.
The truth of the matter is that De Ruiter doesn´t have the answers. He never studied, never went to school and never wrote a book. He is not a philosopher. His videos are not published in You Tube because his teachings don´t make sense. People who follow him are trying to cover the real truth with one finger.
""Our explanations must be guided by Truth.
Truth cannot be adjusted to conform
to what we want to hear""
Leonard Mlodinow
AN INNER EXPANSION ALLOWED ME TO SEE.
The experience I went through was phenomenal. I entered into another reality and experienced other planes of existence and lived dimensions parallel to this plane. It was a very intense and outstanding experience. It was profoundly lucid, alive and powerful. It was huge. The end result of such experience was an accelerated expansion of consciousness. It was a huge leap in the evolution of consciousness.
Various energies, foreign to this world, were manifesting from within, day after day, during 4 months in a row, from July to October 2010.
Later on, after a long research, I understood that lots of pain and difficulties could´ve been avoided if John de Ruiter would have helped me, during the first period when I presented confusion.
I saw and experienced the existence of other dimensions or planes, each one with particular features, sounds and speed. For a period of time I was very unbalanced. That is something normal after an intense opening, according to the stories of other people and spiritual teachers who experienced something similar. Our senses are not designed or attuned to function in a dimension that is beyond this one. Our senses can not comprehend a space in which light, energy and matter behave in a different pattern.
It takes time for the experience to sink and be integrated. Then clarity and understanding arises.
"The deeper you go, and the wider you expand,
the clearer you can see, and the better you can understand"
When I found my balance, I found myself gaining clarity.
De Ruiter is not there to help someone who is rapidly opening and expanding, but to protect his profitable business. His lack of support (a talk, an empathy, a guidance) provoked the appearance of confusion, depression and dark spaces inside of me, which later on turned into big challenges and difficulties. His attitude was not based on equality, fairness or unconditional love.
What If John would have talked openly and sincerely about the multi-dimensional experience I went through in july 2010..?
Is it more important to John to keep happy those who pull the strings (those who pay big money) than to validate and talk about a deep experience that happened in myself?
I will continue writing this blog with the certainty of what I´m talking about. I went through the experience alone. I recovered alone. Currently I´m doing a research in order to gain more understanding based on the studies of physics and quantum theory. That is the only way I can get real understanding of what I experienced.
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(I will tell more about my inner experience later on in this blog, in full detail)
""Humans study science because we have an urge
to know how our lives fit into
the greater scheme of the Universe.
The answers are only edifying if they are true"".
Leonard Mlodinow
JOHN de RUITER AVOIDS SPEAKING.
I wonder: What is a teacher of Truth for?
Isn´t supposed to be someone who can offer guidance and explanations?
Why didn´t John want to speak about an expansive experience that happened in myself?
The real question now is: What is the actual intention of John? Why he doesn´t help someone who is in need of assistance? Why he doens´t offer a full understanding? Why he is evasive?
If John makes a mistake, why he doesn´t appologize?
JOHN de Ruiter chooses to be unclear and puzzling. He creates an enigma around it. You find yourself trying to guess riddles.
John talks about "what you know"...., so sometimes you think you know, but you don´t.
I thought John was the only one I could talk to about dimensions.
Once at the cafe (March2013), John said: "- let go of the experience...".
It was a way of avoiding the subject.
John also said that I was confusing two flows, but he never explained what he meant by that.
Understanding the experience is important and valid. Within this experience many levels were moved and manifested. It was transformative. The experience I went through unleashed a process of change and expansion from within. It also became a source of further deepening and widening. I believe it has a higher purpose.
I wanted to talk about what I experienced. But John didn´t speak. Why?
What if someone who has invested lots of money in John de Ruiter and the organization finds out that a latino-american woman (myself) accessed and embodied higher levels of reality? And that she lived the openning of various worlds within?
John permanently changed the course of our conversation, March2013. I saw the lack of transparency. I left Edmonton, came back home and put all the pieces together.
I put in question the authenticity and cleanness of John´s intentions. Is he actually there to help and support other people? Or is he after protecting his own economic interests?
John de Ruiter is not an embodiment of truth. His actions show evasiveness, lack of response, manipulation and ambiguity. It is shown that his main intention is to keep the control, the power and his wealth.
JOHN AFFIRMS HE HAS X-RAY VISION
I am able to see when someone is happy or depressed. I can see the level of energy in someone, if the level of energy is high and bright or low, or depressed. Now imagine the capacity of John de Ruiter of seeing the level of energy arising in someone, after working with people for more than 25 years. John is able to see if the person is opening, or closing or contracting. He can see the kind of energy is unfolding in a person.
So, John saw when a huge amount of energy was unfolding in me, as a result of accessing to the Absolute (july-2010). I know John saw an opening and a brightness in me. John de Ruiter knows very well that after an intense big opening there comes a state of vulnerability, fragility and sometimes even confusion. The role of a person like De Ruiter should be to care for the people who open, slowly or fast, and offer support and clarity. I wrote many letters to him. He never responded.
Does John have an X-ray vision? If so, why he didn´t help me to clarify things in my mind when I was confused in the year 2000? And then, later on, why he didn´t give me assistance and guidance when I was needing it in Sept-2010, and during the following 12 months?
Brief, After accessing a space of the absolute, John saw I was getting into serious imbalance but he never called me or helped me. He kept distant and ignoring. De Ruiter knew I was about to fall in a cliff and he turned his back on me. He was negligent and selfish.
In March2013, when I went to see him in Edmonton, his attitude was of washing his hands of the situation and avoiding the subject.
As a guide, a teacher or a guru, John is not trust worthy.
""The first principle is that you
must not fool yourself --and you are the easiest to fool""
Physicist Richard Feynman.
THE ROLE OF A SPIRITUAL TEACHER, MASTER OR GURU.
In a DVD interview, Irina Tweedie, a Russian teacher who was a disciple of a Sufi Master in India says, I quote:
“”When higher experiences start to happen they must be explained. If you touch something which for you is super-natural, the mind can get very confused. I give you an example: If you go to unknown land you need a guide. Otherwise you can get lost. Spiritual life can be very puzzling, like being in a forest or a desert.
There are many planes of existence. When you have a higher and deeper experience (which doesn´t take place in the physical body), then you start meeting different entities or spirits, that could be good or bad (of light or of darkness). Then you need a teacher who knows these things, to guide you, to tell you for instance: that is a good entity, or is not a good entity. Because there are entities that could deceive you, misguide you and confuse you very much.
When you are advancing, or in better words, expanding, and going through deeper openings, you need a teacher to help you distinguish what is a good entity from what is not. Otherwise it can be very confusing and dangerous, because our mind can not function in those deeper planes. The guidance and instructions are important. The level of the instruction will be matching the level of the experience for the person.””
Irina Tweedie
THE FRAGILITY AFTER A DEEP OPENING
After a deep opening, a person goes through fragility and vulnerability. The individual could also experience an accessing into another space, or reality, the way it was mentioned just before. The mind might not be able to handle it. The mind is not designed to function in those higher levels. If the Teacher or the Guide doesn´t provide proper guidance and support (based on pure intentions), it can affect negatively the process of the opening and it can compromise the safety of that person.
If the intentions are pure, the Teacher can then provide help and support within the frame of love, compassion, clarity and transparency. The role of the teacher should be to help the person clarify his or her mind, and therefore keep the person safe, on the right track.
What happened to me was the lack of proper guidance from John, and that caused much suffering, confusion, long periods of darkness and lose. I also went through suicidal thoughts and physical pains.
INTENTION IS IMPORTANT
Intention means the purpose or attitude towards the effect of one´s actions or conduct.
If the Teacher has a tiny bit of unclean intention, then the process of openness of a person can get deviated compromising the safety and the right development of the individual.
Thoughts are energy. Intention is energy. When the intention is unclean, the energy that is produced attracts the entities that match that energy. The kind of intention attracts the entities that match that kind of energy.
We know that light, love, honesty, compassion, generosity and transparency belong to the same frame of energy.
An unclean intention can match energies of greed, manipulation, selfishness, desire for power and vampirism.
The lack of clean intentions in a powerful individual like John, can put someone in danger after an intense opening due to deep confusion in his or her mind. Without the proper guidance from a teacher or guru, dark and or bad entities can take over inside the space that was opened up and then misguide the person even to the point of commiting suicide. The deeper the opening, the stronger are the entities that can take over ( it is obvious John knows this).
That is why I said: the levels of darkness I went through put me over the edge and close to acts leading to suicide many times. John knew it from my letters I wrote him. But he never responded. He didn´t care.
During 2012 and until now, the levels inside of me have been integrated and an equilibrium was reached inside. So now I´m fine and with proper judgment to see the big picture.
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From here on, I will describe the experience I went through.
JANUARY 2010: A CALL TO GO TO EDMONTON
I was living in the city of Florianopolis, south of Brasil. In January 2010, I received an inner call, or an inner invitation (a knowing) to go to Edmonton, to attend the Summer Seminar in June 2010. I considered to follow that inner call. I bought my air-ticket and attended the 2010 Summer Seminar.
When I arrived to Edmonton, June 16, 2010, I stayed in Ahuva´s house. It had been eight years I didn´t see John de Ruiter. It was then when I saw the new building.
THE FIRST PART: SUMMER SEMINAR JUNE 2010:
A VORTEX WAS ACTIVATED .
As soon as I attended to the meetings with John, in June 2010, I noticed that, while I was staring at John, my connection was easier, wider and powerful. I couldn´t believe what my eyes were seeing. It was unspeakably beautiful. I was seeing and diving into a golden light, like a tunnel. I knew it was the Absolute. There was not a single thought in my mind. My mind was totally silent.
I was drinking and diving into a space that was pure, luminous and silent. I was seeing and diving into the Source: a space of absolute silence and pure golden light. At the end of each meeting, I would leave the Hall in a high blissful state, and my body was feeling light and sparkling. It was awesome. Connecting, diving and merging, was the most exquisite experience I ever had with the Light. It was easy, natural, effortless, from the beginning to the end of each meeting, day after day, during 3 weeks, and until the end of the 2010seminar. After each meeting I was feeling and seeing plenty of light inside. At night I would hear the effervescent sound of the cosmos.
During that seminar 2010, I, as awareness, was merging with a pure expanding tunnel of golden light. Everything familiar would disappear in front of my eyes, even the image of John.
(FUSION: The merging of different elements into a union.)
As soon as I connected to John in each meeting, it was as if a VEIL was lifted and a soft golden space of absolute silence opened up in front of my eyes. What was happening? Later on I understood that I was accessing another space, a deeper space. I accessed that space, every meeting, day after day for 3 weeks.
(In March 2013, John told me: “-you can access”. That confirmed what I knew. It confirmed my knowing. I was calling it "merging with a foreign reality").
After accessing so many times, I was taken over, I had entered in a lucid vivid space, I was captured by a force that was higher and more powerful than myself. I was walking into the unknown. I was walking into the unseen.
Some scientists affirm that, in order to enter into a Portal to access another dimension, a huge amount of energy is needed.
I quote:
“Powerful energy lines converge in one point and create a space-time vortex to another dimension”...
“-Extreme amount of power can trigger the opening of other dimensions”… (The Universe series, National Geographic).
Scientists also say: “When someone access an activated vortex of energy, the perception of space and the tracking of time is affected. The space-time fabric is bended. At one point, the person could experience time as eternity. The person could also perceive an acceleration of events, and make contact with spaces that are parallel to this one. Disorientation and sleep deprivation could also happen”.
In the seminar, I kept accessing that awesome golden light tunnel, because it was there, inviting me to do so. It was available for me to access. It was opening in front of my eyes. It was the most delightful experience I ever had. I trusted. I followed.
I thought that John de Ruiter knew what I was seeing. I thought he was participating in it. I thought John was orchestrating the event. But I was wrong. He didn´t. I accessed only myself, and I went through the rest of the experience alone.
In September 2010, 2 months after the Intense Accessing into the Absolute, De Ruiter saw my imbalance in the Oasis building, in Edmonton. Unfortunately for me, John didn´t take any time to find out what was happening inside of me or guide me.
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I will continue describing the event of merging into the vortex. While connecting, and after the image of John would disappear in front of my eyes, there appeared in the light a beautiful face looking straight to me, and then another face, and then another face. The faces would appear so clearly, one after the other, as if I was staring at them on the screen of a movie theater. Many faces showed during my staring. I knew those faces were beings, showing themselves in the light, to convey something, and to work with me, in bringing a higher level of energy into this plane. Faces in the form of light were merging with me one after the other. They were Beings of light. The faces were so vivid and sharp. It was a Cosmic event. It was something phenomenal.
The amount of energy I was receiving was incredible. I also know that no one else in John´s group had gone through that kind of deep experience. The implications for this kind of phenomenal experience are huge (at that time I didn´t know what the implications were. That´s why I said I was walking into unknown land..!).
I didn´t talk about it to anyone in the july-2010 summer seminar. I felt I didn´t need to. I knew to keep it for myself. I kept it as a divine treasure.
I thought John de Ruiter knew what was happening in that seminar, because the amount of energy manifested in that seminar was huge and the silence was absolute-nothing would move, not even a fly or a dust. When I was connecting to the space, the amount of energy produced was huge. I assumed he knew what was happening, but he didn´t.
Later on, for the following 14 months, John got to know everything that I experienced and all I went through from the letters I sent him. He never took the time to respond. He kept silent.
That was the reason of my feelings of sadness, frustration and betrayal towards John, during those subsequent months.
When an experience like that takes place (an intense merging with higher kind of energies), the mind usually gets temporarily confused and unbalanced. It´s normal. Once I regained stability and strength, I went to Edmonton (March2013; 28 months later).
THE SECOND PART OF THE EXPERIENCE: THE OPENING OF MANY LEVELS WITHIN.
After the accessing, and when the Summer Seminar ended (july 12,2010), I embarked on an amazing journey of splendor, wonders, beauty and high powerful energy. I was captured. I had entered into another reality, parallel to this one. I entered into a Portal. From then on, different worlds opened up inside of me, taking me through an intense journey of openings and merging. Everything was accelerated. It was Alice falling all the way through the rabbit hole into wonderland. It was Neo experiencing The Matrix and seeing through. It lasted almost four months (July-October 2010).
As I heard indirectly from John de Ruiter once: “-Reality was stretched ...”. (March2013 ).
I knew it was something phenomenal, as if I had passed through a wormhole (a wormhole in physics is a theoretical passageway in space between a black hole and a white hole).
De Ruiter talks about the opening of different levels of reality, and, subsequently, the integration of them in you as awareness. That is what I was seeing:: the opening of deeper and higher levels.
First you experience the opening of the levels. Then, the integration has to happen. After the integration, there comes the understanding. The levels become alive in you. You merge with different kinds of energy: different frequencies, different densities, different tones. You become them, and they become you. Within the access there is also merging, and then manifestations. During periods of time, I didn´t need to sleep, or I didn´t need to eat. Sometimes, I experienced one day as eternity: time was experienced at different rates.
Dimensions are also called: realms, planes or levels.
There are levels of the Earth: telluric levels, energies from the Earth. They are energies or beings that have been in the Earth for millions of years, or from ancient times.
There are levels of the evil: Principalities of Evil, like demons and other sorts.
There are levels of the dead ones who are in spirit, or souls. Levels of our ancestors.
There are levels of the Heaven: Beings of light, Archangels, the Holy Spirit and Christ consciousness. And, finally, there is a Cosmic Level. There is a level that pertains to the Inter-galactic space and the Cosmos. In my experience, these two last levels were benevolent and protective.
There are spaces that are bright and benevolent. Others are full of bewilderment, beauty and joy. Other spaces are mysterious and obscure. Within the level of the inter-stelar space or the Cosmos, lies a higher kind of inteligence with its own set of laws.
The amount of energy I was receiving was incredible. Within an altered state of consciousness I was being guided and directed. When I was experiencing the opening of different levels, I was not afraid. I was perplexed, I was fascinated, I was in a state of awe. I´ve heard that some people call this kind of experience as being abducted. In any case, it is difficult to put a fix label on it.
The fear came weeks later in my body and mind, because of the uncertainty of my situation. The fear that arose weeks later (Nov-2010 and after) had to do with not knowing what will happen to me, and where I was going to end up. (intuitively, there was perhaps a tiny knowing that down the road I was going to fall apart in pieces....)
Obviously, after accelerated openings, I was disoriented, unbalanced and confused in many ways - for about 6 months or more. The brain tries to make sense of it all, but it can´t. The mind tries to understand, but for a while it´s not able to do so. I didn´t lose my sanity , though it looked like I did for a while. A friend of mine once said: "-You went in and you came out. That was a miracle". In a fascinated way, I was sustained, held and protected. I always felt a protective presence or force around me. That benevolent force eventually helped me and brought me back to balance and grounding. I could say: God rescued me.
"Quantum physics theoretically proves
the existence of parallel Universes""
THE THIRD PART: THE FALL, DEATH AND INTEGRATION.
The intense opening stopped. There were not more beings or merging. Gradually, the flow of high energy diminished in the beginning of October 2010. I was in Costa Rica. There came a third phase: the integration of the whole.
All that was opened up, and all that was stretched out, had to be integrated.
But, before the integration, the brokenness happened. Before the integration, it came the worst of the worst.
After a very bright day (of 4 months), there came a very long dark night (of many months).
""As a new space opens up within,
immediately attracts certain forces of darkness.
We´ve forgotten how to work with the light,
just so we´ve forgotten how to work with the darkness""
Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee
- THE FALL
After the high-energy experience stopped, there came a deep fall and a subsequent brake of structures. You start to feel that you are falling or dropping under a strong force of gravity.
I as awareness experienced something like this: after the fusion of intense energies stopped, the fuel ends and then you are drawn (sucked) into a small space of intense density and heaviness which is experienced in you as a strong oscillation of high pressure and low pressure. This is caused by a disequilibrium between forces. It´s physics.
In other words, after an accelerated expansion (stretching in every direction), there comes a contraction. Newton´s 3rd law says: "every action has an equal opposite reaction". After a force there is a counterforce. It takes time to reach the point of equilibrium again.
- DEATH
From the month of Nov2010, everything in myself started to collapse. My structures slowly broke, snapped, cracked and fell apart. I became undone. It was the worst of the worst: pain, despair, weakness, depression, solitude, lack of energy, fatigue. I would feel the sensation of death in my body. I would feel the smell of the decay. There were days I couldn´t even go out.
Sometimes there was such a big pressure, such much discomfort, pain, despair, that I couldn´t bear it anymore.
I wasn´t able to work in a regular job. I had to rest lots.
For a long while I felt I was in a Limbo. Nothing moved inside. No one else could ever understand what was happening inside. It was tremendously unconfortable.
The physical disconforts happened in oscilations: as waves, within periods of 7 to 15 days.
Sometimes I could see a glimpse of what was happening. Other times I couldn´t see anything. I knew I had to rest and wait. It was a long waiting time. At times it felt like everything was dead, absorbed and paralized.
I went to live in Victoria, BC. in Vancouver Island where -I found out later on- there are powerful healing energy lines. For many weeks I went for hikes in the forests, and went for therapy, which slowly brought grounding and balance. Also a few good friends were around for assistance.
In an attempt to understand what happened, I started to study physics.
In a book I read the following: ""The equations of general relativity tell us that if there is more than a certain critical amount of matter and energy per unit volume in the universe, space will curl up into a spherelike shape, and eventually collapse upon itself. If there is less than this critical density, space will curve outward like a saddle".
Consciousness is a space and responds to the laws of physics. It is in the study of modern physics and quantum theory that I am finding more and more answers.
- INTEGRATION
After many weeks of feelings of sickness, lack of energy and depression, integration started to happen. There were many comings and goings of intense pressure and physical discomfort. The pressure happened in different levels: in the body, the emotions, the mind. It took more than one year to be restructured. During the first part of 2012, a different quality of energy started to flow outwards from within, this time from a deeper place and with a higher intensity. It started with the feeling of a vibrating energy boiling inside. Lots of heat and lots of vibration started to irradiate leaving my body and head with many disconforts like swallen joints and headaches.
After the experience settled and sinked, the mind reaches equilibrium together with the whole and then it serves to look for comprehension.
Following the process of inner integration, which consists in attaining a point of equilibrium within the space of consciousness, consciousness continues to expand and integrate different spaces simultaneously. When this point of equilibrium is reached (which takes time), the mind starts to discern and understand more deeply what is happening. The expansion and the integration of the space that had expanded (within consciousness), now they both happen simultaneouly. There is an equilibrium between the two forces. And currently both processes don´t create as much disconfort.
These two movements (expansion and integration, moving out and moving in as an undulation) are permanently happening in outer space. I experience and observe these movements within myself.
- THE MIND
During an intense multi-dimensional experience like the one I lived, the mind is temporarily not able to grasp it. Later on, I understood that the mind is not able to cope with so much light and information at once. I give you a peculiar example: in India, when someone gets temporarily unbalanced, people say that person "is intoxicated with God".
(After I asked, John himself confirmed to me: “the mind also gets integrated”, which means it reaches again a point of equilibrium).
The mind then stops being an obstacle and it becomes an ally.
Thanks to my brain and my mind I can think, analize and write. I am also looking for the understanding of the big picture.
RECOVERY AND REGAINING STABILITY (2012-2013)
Restructuring had to happen first. Then the energy from the Source came back up to fill up the cup. But, this time, with a different quality.
The energy that started to emerge from within myself, since the first quarter of last year (2012), is very strong. It is a burning kind of energy.
The bursts of energy from within started as oscillations that happened between the range of 5 to 15 days. The energy bursts create a feeling of being cooked in a pressure cooker. It creates a feeling similar to being expanding, as a balloon is being inflated. These movements of energy (or forces) used to create severe discomforts and physical pain in the past, but not anymore. My body and head were always trying to compensate and adapt to the intense bursts of energy that were occurring inside my body. Presently the discomforts have lessened and the oscillations are less extreme.
The vibration of energy from inside, which before was oscillating between extreme points (higher and lower intensity of vibration), is now more continuous, more permanent.
The manifestation of energy from within and the arising of understanding are two sides of the same coin. They are connected. You can´t have one without having the other.
What I was accessing into (July2010) has been integrated and now IT lives inside, and IT manifests through out my body in the form of a more continuous vibration. I am being IT. The experience I went through unleashed a process- a movement- that moves from within.
UNDERSTANDING THE EXPERIENCE: STUDIES ON CONSCIOUSNESS.
When I started to feel better, more recovered and with more energy, I started to look for knowledge and understanding.
During the last year, I´ve been researching. I read the work of spiritual teachers like: Eckhart Tolle, Irina Tweedie, George Gurdjieff, Deepak Chopra and others.
Then I started to read various studies on Consciousness.
I also started to read about Cosmology and Quantum physics.
I´m studying the work of physicists like: John Hagelin, Amit Goswami, David Icke and Leonard Mlodinow.
For instance, Amit Goswami is a theoretical nuclear physicist who writes about the relationship between quantum physics and mystical traditions, and supports a model of reality that suggests the physical universe is created by consciousness. His work is profound. His last books are called Quantum Activist, and A Vissionary Window.
John Hagelin is an American particle physicist who has conducted research into the Unified Field Theory and consciousness.
Eckhart Tolle, the author of The Power of Now and A New Earth, is listed as the most spiritually influential person in the world.
………….......................
""Though the question
of how consciousness arises remains a puzzle,
we have plenty of evidence that
consciousness functions according to physical law""
Leonard Mldinow
PHYSICS AND CONSCIOUSNESS
There are experiences within consciousness that can only be understood through the study of physics. Consciousness is not a thing, it is a space filled with energy. There is not such thing as empty space.
After an abrupt expansion, there is a contraction.
After an explosion, there comes an implosion.
The Space-time fabric is elastic, it can be bended. It also has Mass. So if you throw out a big amount of light (like radiation or nuclear fusion) its mass keeps it moving out due to inertia, but in doing so it leaves a low pressure vacated area that must be refilled. So when the high energy stops, it all gets sucked back in again. In fact, explosions and implosions oscillate for a time until an equilibrium is reached again. During the oscillations, there comes higher pressure and lower pressure.
An expansion brings lower pressure (feeling of lightness). A contraction brings higher pressure (feeling of pressure).
These changes of pressure (oscillations of high and low density) that take place in the space of consciousness, after a massive expansion, were the cause of many physical discomforts and many feelings of sickness in my body.
A kind of implosion is also called a gravitational collapse in astro-physics. A gravitational collapse is a phenomena that is studied in order to understand the origin of starts and black holes in the cosmos. Reading about cosmology and astro-physics allows me to grasp more understanding.
Gravitational collapse is the inward fall of a body due to the influence of its own gravity. In any stable body, this gravitational force is counterbalanced by the internal pressure of the body, in the opposite direction to the force of gravity (gravity being generally orientated to the center of mass). If the inwards pointing gravitational force, however, is stronger than the total combination of the outward pointing forces, the equilibrium becomes unbalanced and a collapse occurs until the internal pressure increases above that of the gravitational force and an equilibrium is once again attained.
Because gravity is comparatively weak compared to other fundamental forces, gravitational collapse is usually associated with very massive bodies or collections of bodies, such as stars (including collapsed stars such as supernovae, neutron stars and black holes) and massive collections of stars such as globular clusters and galaxies.
Gravitational collapse is at the heart of structure formation in the universe. An initial smooth distribution of matter will eventually collapse and cause a hierarchy of structures, such as clusters of galaxies, stellar groups, stars and planets. For example, a star is born through the gradual gravitational collapse of a cloud of interstellar matter. The compression caused by the collapse raises the temperature until nuclear fuel reignites in the center of the star and the collapse comes to a halt. The thermal pressure gradient (leading to expansion) compensates the gravity (leading to compression) and a star is in dynamical equilibrium between these two forces.” (source: Wikipedia)
In the studies of Cosmology we find the following statements :
"The Universe has a pulse. It is in a continuous movement of fluctuations, originated in the Big Bang."
“Whatever happens in the Human form it is reflected in the Universe. These are universal movements. What happens in the microcosms also happens in the macrocosms. As it is above, so is bellow.”
“The Universe wants to know itself through the eyes of the observer.”
There is a profound meaning in the experience. The experience I went through unleashed a process in which a different kind of energy is manifesting from within.
I´m continuously finding interesting answers in the further studies of quantum physics, cosmological phenomena and consciousness.
In the theory of Special Relativity Einstein showed us that as you get closer to light speed, bizarre distortions take place, time beats slower, space contracts and you get heavier. The energy of motion has turned into making you heavier.
A CONFUSION AROUND JOHN, IN 2000-2001.
During the year 2000, many signs and events suggested to me that John and I were going to have a closer relationship. I was having an intense teacher-follower relationship with John, energetically speaking. It was clear, tangible and powerful, at least for me. For a while, during those times, I was confused. I remained confused for some time in 2000. John knew what was running in my mind from my notes and letters. Twice I wrote a little note asking him to have a talk, but he never responded. He didn´t help me to relieve my confusion in those old times (year 2000).
And Later on, in September 2010, he didn´t offer any help either in bringing orientation or clarity. That was negligent and selfish on his part. John de Ruiter is able to see when someone is going through feelings of love, or attachment, confusion or instability. But he doesn´t bring any clarity. That is why I say that John preferes to keep the confusion than to clarify a situation.
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JOHN SAYS: "-YOU DON´T NEED TO UNDERSTAND".
It was very good I went to Edmonton this year, February 2013, because It allowed me to see and clarify things. I could see John for who he really is. I opened my eyes.
It was good to de-mystify the image of John and let him go.
The intention behind the action is everything. I question the real intention of John when he says that you don´t need to understand.
What is the real intention of John when he puts you down and under estimates your capacity of thinking and understanding?
What is the real intention when he says you always have self importance?
Is he actually taking away your own power to discern what is true from what is not?
People around him are mesmerized so they can´t see what he is really doing.
Not understanding can be dangerous. When a teacher (or guru) refuses to guide, to responde or participate, it can compromise the safety of that person, or it can produce unnecessary pain.
Some leaders of this world try to keep their people blind, submitted and subjugated, so the leader can have the control.
John is not there to help or respect other people, but to serve only his own interests. John is extremely self-centered and selfish. And he is very good at controlling people to make them submit to him.
It was good to let go and move on.
At the end, I had to figure it all out by myself.
BE WARY
Working with powerful energies and forces can be very risky and dangerous. John de Ruiter is able to mesmerize, manipulate the mind and play with the psichology of the people. He can be evasive and confusing.
I wonder if he under estimates the capacity of understanding of some people. Or perhaps he didn´t want to recognize his negligence in the process. Or perhaps he wanted to invalidate the experience. Or perhaps he wanted to create a hindrance, preventing me from seeing and understanding.
I am not the only one who have realized this. Other people have arrived to a similar conclusion.
There are things that John might know but doesn´t want to share or speak about.
De Ruiter keeps making riddles, hiding things, creating ambiguity, and playing with words.
He talks to people about self-importance to take away people´s power of reason and discernment.
It took some time to analize, investigate and research to then arrive to these conclusions.
It is noticeable that some people in John´s group in Edmonton can perceive that John likes to keep secrecy, hidden information, and lack of clarity. It is also known that he communicates more with a minor group of close friends.
People have become aware that John shows partiality and favoritism. Sometimes he also creates puzzles and confusion. That could be translated into lack of cleanness and or discrimination. All of this could be a way of control.
THE LACK OF RESPONSE FROM JOHN.
I experienced an intense opening inside myself in which I merged with a space of pure consciousness. After that, there came a deep vulnerability and fragility in myself. John de Ruiter saw that, but he didn´t help me to relieve my confusion and imbalance (July-September2010). He didn´t approach to talk, to explain or to clarify. He left me on my own. Down the road, and during the passage of darkness inside, that provoked great suffering, challenges and difficulties.
He knows that, but he will never accept his negligence.
After that, when I went to see him in March 2013, again he was evasive, devious and tried to confuse me.
In my letters I wrote to him: "-You betrayed my Trust".
DEFINITION OF DEVIOUS
- not straightforward; shifty.
- departing from a correct way.
-deviating from the straight course.
- away from a main road or course.
-distant or removed.
-not sincere, deceitful.
THE TEACHINGS (AN ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM).
John de Ruiter is not a Master. He can be a channel of powerful energies but his teachings are poor and unclear. He is ambivalent. He is evasive when you want to talk about Moral issues or morality.
There is something else. His teachings are not based on how the world of energy and physics work, and not based in the scientific studies of consciousness.
He doesn´t know about the nature of consciousness related with modern physics.
The deficit and the poorness of John´s teachings and the inadequacy of his philosophy are so obvious that the following idiomatic expression applies: There is an "Elephant in the room". In other words, there is an obvious truth that is either being ignored or going unaddressed. The idiomatic expression also applies to an obvious problem or risk no one wants to discuss (the integrity and truthfulness of John). The term refers to a question or controversial issue which is obvious to everyone who knows about the situation, but which is deliberately ignored because to do otherwise would cause great embarrassment, or trigger arguments or is simply taboo.
TODAY
Human consciousness finally raised from a deeper place, to reunite with the Consciousness of Being as one. From nothingness, it raised from the deep to a higher position. This is what Jesus calls resuscitate. I, Marian Vasquez, was raised from the dead. I resuscitated.
I am doing good these days. I have strength, lots of energy and peace. I carry a wider vision about the world, life and existence.
A strong force is permanently emerging and expanding, as an energy in my head and my body. There is a sense of presence and direct connection to the Source. The direct development with source continues.
This narrative is the product of my inquiry, research, analisis and investigation based on my own experience. The mind is an instrument that allow us to understand.
I have written this narrative to offer help and insight to those who could benefit from it.
Marian Vasquez
Email: marianinjaco@hotmail.com
Skype: marianvasquez11
