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Post by Reefs on Oct 2, 2012 23:31:49 GMT -5
I didn't now what you meant by what you were saying. From my point of view you are throwing yourself a pity party like Midnight did, different subject but essentially the same. Well, you took a detour and came back the next morning. We are worlds apart anyway, vibrational speaking. Boredom is as low as it gets for me, even optimism feels low. If you are hanging out in the grief area, then there's no way for us to communicate. It's a huge gap. You have to come at least into the hopeful area for a meaningful conversation. Don't expect me to get down into the grief area, I can't do that. So you probably tend to see everything I say as offensive, I probably tend to see everything you say as ridiculous. In that case the STFU route is usually the best option.
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Post by glimmer on Oct 2, 2012 23:44:28 GMT -5
There are all sorts of gaps. For the average unelightened human, grief is a necessary process. Someone who doesn't suffer from it after a deep personal loss could perhaps be labeled a psycopath. The period of grieving and the way it is coped with is different from person to person. I certainly would not want to walk straight into a satsang instead of a funeral service. We may grieve as we need to, and also look for our spiritual needs as we can, in whatever way that presents itself. Obviously, many people turn up to this board because it is called Spiritual Teachers. I am here as I am looking into Rose, TAT, Maharishi etc al. An enlightened person walking through a disaster zone with many dead would not be well received by asking people to work on their story when they are trying to bury the dead. Silver - art is a wonderful therapy for grief, and poetry most certainly. I wouldn't like to say that your poetry is BAD POETRY (as this thread is called) at all. You wrote what is in your heart and letting it out is touching. I see so much sincerity from you, not a pitty party. Another approach is HUMOUR, which we hear from the enlighted ones that the universe is full of. What better way than to remember your lost loved one than with humour when you are able. Smile and the universe is smiling with you. Peace to you silver
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Post by glimmer on Oct 2, 2012 23:48:28 GMT -5
Excuse my spelling .... I am writing on the run and don't have time to fix it. Ah well.
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Post by topology on Oct 2, 2012 23:53:37 GMT -5
I didn't now what you meant by what you were saying. From my point of view you are throwing yourself a pity party like Midnight did, different subject but essentially the same. Well, you took a detour and came back the next morning. We are worlds apart anyway, vibrational speaking. Boredom is as low as it gets for me, even optimism feels low. If you are hanging out in the grief area, then there's no way for us to communicate. It's a huge gap. You have to come at least into the hopeful area for a meaningful conversation. Don't expect me to get down into the grief area, I can't do that. So you probably tend to see everything I say as offensive, I probably tend to see everything you say as ridiculous. In that case the STFU route is usually the best option. FWIW, I don't experience an absence of hope from silver. While she might still be grieving the loss of her son, she is not lost in her grief. It's simply an emotion that visits her. I don't get a sense that she feels like her world is coming to an end and there is no hope of ever having life return to normal or ever feeling right with life. Might you be fixating on the word "grief" too much? Or is it simply a lack of being able to connect empathicly? Does the subject matter hit close to home for you? Or maybe the subject matter (loss of someone you are deeply connected) is foreign to your experience? I'm curious as to why you are having such an aversion?
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Post by silver on Oct 3, 2012 0:01:45 GMT -5
Thank you glimmer and thank you Top.
Phew, I needed a vote or two of confidence!
I'm far more bummed out by Reefs' and E's responses than by my own grief for my son. Truly, I am.
If I'm not mistaken - and I don't think I am, I think you are most definitely onto something, Top - my own son had a sharp aversion to me whenever I would cry about something. I do believe some people have a rather outsized reaction to grief or other emotions along those lines, for reasons they may not even have a clue about.
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Post by silver on Oct 3, 2012 0:40:26 GMT -5
Might I point out that the list is a simple guideline - not an absolute and perfect yardstick for measuring emotional variants.
I'm also completely blown away by Reefs comparing me to Midnight. Like, wow.
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Post by topology on Oct 3, 2012 0:48:50 GMT -5
nationalshare.blogspot.com/2009/11/grieving-vs-mourning.htmlI would say that silver might be mourning more than grieving, she isn't keeping her emotions and thoughts internal, she is expressing them, processing them. (Sorry to talk about you as if you're not reading the thread, Silver!) She ain't really in control of whether or not those emotions keep coming up, is she? Or is there some kinda control we're expecting her to have?
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Post by topology on Oct 3, 2012 0:50:14 GMT -5
Might I point out that the list is a simple guideline - not an absolute and perfect yardstick for measuring emotional variants. I'm also completely blown away by Reefs comparing me to Midnight. Like, wow. hehehe, we're often shocked by how others perceive us as they don't have the same biases and filters we do, they's gots their owns.
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Post by Reefs on Oct 3, 2012 0:54:37 GMT -5
Pandora's box is open again
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Post by Reefs on Oct 3, 2012 1:09:09 GMT -5
Thank you glimmer and thank you Top.
Phew, I needed a vote or two of confidence!
I'm far more bummed out by Reefs' and E's responses than by my own grief for my son. Truly, I am. I'm also completely blown away by Reefs comparing me to Midnight. Like, wow. Well, that's what I meant earlier, fishing for support from others for your story has higher priority than finding clarity. Which means there's nothing I can do here. Also, you and Top seem to be in for the drama a bit too much.
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Post by silver on Oct 3, 2012 1:11:07 GMT -5
Might I point out that the list is a simple guideline - not an absolute and perfect yardstick for measuring emotional variants. I'm also completely blown away by Reefs comparing me to Midnight. Like, wow. hehehe, we're often shocked by how others perceive us as they don't have the same biases and filters we do, they's gots their owns. Yes, it's downright amazing. I enjoyed reading the link you provided about grief v. mourning.
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Post by silver on Oct 3, 2012 1:16:28 GMT -5
Thank you glimmer and thank you Top.
Phew, I needed a vote or two of confidence!
I'm far more bummed out by Reefs' and E's responses than by my own grief for my son. Truly, I am. I'm also completely blown away by Reefs comparing me to Midnight. Like, wow. Well, that's what I meant earlier, fishing for support from others for your story has higher priority than finding clarity. Which means there's nothing I can do here. Also, you and Top seem to be in for the drama a bit too much. If you truly believed you needed support / help with something, would you go in the opposite direction than where the support is or may be? Or would you do the thing that would help you gather the assistance you believe you need? It defies logic to make such a statement that a person is 'fishing' for it. I think it's interesting that you won't shed any light on whether you've suffered any severe losses in your life. If anything, your apparent overreactions do nothing but put bad light on your belief system or whatever you wish to call it. Makes it seem rather freaky and freak-ish. I find your reactions very disconcerting and I think your chosen artwork and accompanying comments to be far more reflective of your own flaws than mine. Am I Pandora's box or what? Talk about drama. wow - dang
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Post by Reefs on Oct 3, 2012 1:33:10 GMT -5
Am I Pandora's box or what? No, the Pandora's box I am talking about is a certain pattern of behavior. This thread shows similar patterns to some other threads where you, top and Q played the leading roles: 1. you feel hurt/offended 2. the one you think that hurt you doesn't care 3. you feel outraged and look for support 4. you get support 5. the one who doesn't care gets defensive 6. you and your support show your outrage together 7. the one who doesn't care gets offensive 8. you gather more support 9. the one who doesn't care gets isolated 10. the one who doesn't care gets banned We are at stage 4 now.
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Post by silver on Oct 3, 2012 1:43:21 GMT -5
Am I Pandora's box or what? No, the Pandora's box I am talking about is a certain pattern of behavior. This thread shows similar patterns to some other threads where you, top and Q played the leading roles: 1. you feel hurt/offended 2. the one you think that hurt you doesn't care 3. you feel outraged and look for support 4. you get support 5. the one who doesn't care gets defensive 6. you and your support show your outrage together 7. the one who doesn't care gets offensive 8. you gather more support 9. the one who doesn't care gets isolated 10. the one who doesn't care gets banned We are at stage 4 now. That is not where I am going. Maybe you are, but I'm not out to get anyone, and it sure seems you think I am. I was hurt, initially, by your posts on page 1 of this thread, but I am over that. But you're bringing other stuff to the table that is far from complimentary and I'm not seeking that and I don't think I'm asking for it, either. Why is it wrong for someone who is grieving the biggest loss like that to seek support and solace? Does your way of spiritual believing have a taboo about such things? If not, then why are you acting like there is? This is puzzling to me. If you care, then why do you keep attacking me? That is what it feels like, and I ask what you're getting at which only leads to more negative stuff? Oh - So this is about Q more than anything?
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Post by Reefs on Oct 3, 2012 1:57:03 GMT -5
Uh-oh. I forgot stage 3.5:
3.5: the one who doesn't care loses karma points
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